Joanna paced in her room, her open robe fluttering behind her as she waited for the Mountain to settle down.  Dinner had been in the way of a farewell banquet before SG-1 would meet up with the Resistance in a few days.  Janet was pleased with the tretonin that the Jaffa were producing, and Bra'tac and Jack had agreed on a mode of attack for Anubis' fortress.

All that was left was for her to go and confess to Teal'c what an utter ass she had been.

Passing the mirror as she left her room, Joanna resisted the urge to take one last look.  Bad enough that she had stooped to having her hair loose and wearing the pajamas with the low cut top.  Walking down the hall to Teal'c's room, old habits made her give a quick scan to the corridor, then she knocked briefly at his door.

Sooner than she would have thought, it swung open to show him, clad only in a pair of drawstring cotton pants.  Joanna tore her eyes from how low they rode on his hips to meet his placid gaze.  "May I come in?"

Bowing his head, Teal'c stepped back, letting her enter.  The room was filled with candlelight, and she stopped short at the sight.

"I'm disturbing you, aren't I?  I can come back-- "

"I was expecting you."  Moving silently he came to stand in front of her.

Surprised, Joanna glanced up at him, only to find him looking at her with what seemed only mild curiosity.  Lifting her chin, she decided to get it over with.  "I was jealous over you and Ishta and I'm sorry.  I should have spoken to you before jumping to conclusions and making a fool out of myself."  Joanna stood there a moment, a cold feeling growing in the pit of her stomach at his continued silence.

"I've got both Jack's good and bad traits," she continued, turning away from his steady gaze to contemplate the intricacies of the gray door.  "We don't like to share.  You and I—we've never really talked about this… thing we've got going; I'm sure it must have been weird to have me show up and basically say 'Hi!  I'm your best friend's clone, and I've been wired to fall in love with you!'.  But then Daniel told me what tau'ret means… "  Her voice trailed off as Teal'c came up behind her, wrapping one arm over her shoulders and the other around her stomach, his warm hand resting against the curve of her waist.

"And what did Daniel Jackson tell you?"

Lost for the instant in the slow caress of his thumb against her ribs, Joanna finally answered.  "Beloved.  That it meant beloved."

"Daniel Jackson is partially correct.  The meaning of the word is 'the one who dwells in my heart'."  The low rumbles of Teal'c's voice sent shivers through her, although it could have been the heat of his mouth on her neck.

Her eyes fluttered closed as she unconsciously tilted her head to give him better access.  "He told me 'the person inside'."

"As excellent a linguist as Daniel Jackson is, from time to time the nuances of a word's sociological meaning escapes him."

"Yeah, what you said."  Joanna gave a shuddering gasp as the rest of Teal'c's fingers joined his thumb, stroking her skin as his mouth moved his way up to the curve of her ear.

"Tau'ret is a word fraught with meaning, Joanna O'Neil.  I do not use it lightly."  Cupping her cheek with his hand, he turned her head so that while still cradled against him, he was able to look into her face.  His passionate black eyes met her slightly nervous brown ones.  "It is all or nothing."

Twisting in the circle of his arms, Joanna reached up to place a kiss on his mouth.  This time it was Teal'c who opened to her, drawing her into the kiss, but still letting her set the pace.

That is until she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him, her heat seeping into him through the thin cotton they were wearing.  Without warning he picked her up and stepped forward, trapping her between him and the door.  The cold of the metal made her arch into him, trying to get away from the chill, and Teal'c took advantage of her distraction to push a knee between her thighs, letting that and the force of his hips against hers hold her upright.

Joanna whimpered, wanting more.  With his hands free, Teal'c opened her top, the skittering of buttons on the concrete floor lost to the two lovers.  His mouth dropped to the hollow of her throat, and his hand hefted the warm globe of her breast, the thumb grazing over the tip.

"Dear God!"  At that gentle touch, enveloping waves of pleasure had her clutching at him, nails digging into his back.  He held her tight as she shuddered against him, gasping for breath.  Finally, after her heart had stopped pounding in her chest, she lifted shell-shocked eyes, seeing the decidedly smug expression on his face.

"I just came, didn't I?"

"Indeed you did."

"Damn."  Resting her head on his shoulder, Joanna let herself enjoy the sweet lassitude that still flooded through her.  Teal'c cocked his head at her. 

"Do you not have memories of your other lovers pleasuring you to completion?"  Picking her up off the door, he carried her to the bed.  He settled them into a comfortable position, resting his back against the headboard and gathering her to him.

"Not like that.  Not that… intensely.  Remind me in my next life to get my memories about sex from someone other than a genderless beast that reproduces by cloning."  Nuzzling his cheek, Joanna pressed kisses along his jaw.

A low chuckle rumbled up from Teal'c. "I will endeavor to do so."

She laughed back, and gave him another kiss.  His passion as he returned it and the feel of him sliding her top off her shoulder made her stiffen though, and she pulled away from him.

"Is something wrong, Joanna?"

Closing her eyes, she sighed, frustrated at herself.  She opened them to look at Teal'c, holding his face in her hands.  "I want you.  And after finding out what exactly I've been missing all these years I want it even more.  However…  

"Jack will deny it with every bone in his body, but we're closet romantics.  And even with your kelnorim candles, our rooms still basically look like a cell.  I know it's corny, but I'd like something more when we finally….  I'm sorry," she finished on a whisper, fully aware of the hot, urgent press of his erection against her thigh.

"There is no reason to be apologetic, tau'ret."  With infinite tenderness Teal'c drew up her top, closing the robe over the damaged clothing.

Joanna smiled, leaning her head against his.  "Remember last night?  When I met up with you and Ishta in the corridor?"  She continued as his nod.  "I did have another nightmare.  A different one this time."

"Enlighten me."

"Thor was going to take me away again, but when the light faded, I was alone in the conference room.  You and Ishta were about to go through the Gate, and you weren't coming back.  I tried to stop you, but the stairs and doors were all gone."

"An understandable dream."

"It scares me."  She took his hand, covering it with both her smaller ones.

"The nightmare?"

"How I felt when I realized you were gone.  The Gate ended up in pieces, I was never going to see you again."  Joanna sighed as he tightened his grip.  "Right now I could sink into you and never come up, and I would be happy.  I'm not like that!  I was a bad ass Colonel kicking Goa'uld butt.  I could hold my own against anything, and I didn't need anyone.

"But maybe that's just what Loki told me I was.  Maybe I'm not who I think I am.  If I'm that Colonel, how can I love you the way I do?  And if I'm not that Colonel, who am I?"

Teal'c watched her as she played with his fingers, never letting go of his hand, and remembered when Loki and Thor came for Joanna.  "Loki indicated that he only provided O'Neill's memories to you, that he did not influence the reactions they inspired.  Everything about you is yourself, there is nothing that was amended by another."  Pausing, he seemed to be weighing his next words carefully. 

"You have observed the way O'Neill conducts himself in regards to Ms. MacGyver.  If at all possible, during the beginning of their courtship he was even more volatile.  Often times he would come to me and wonder how it was possible he could need her so much.  Apparently," Teal'c said with a modicum of surprise, "I am considered an excellent listener." 

Untangling his hand from one of hers, he wrapped his arms around her.  "It was not until O'Neill was assured that Ms. MacGyver reciprocated his feelings that he regained his equilibrium.  O'Neill is a passionate man, although he hides it well.  Do not be afraid to feel, Joanna, I believe that as to who you are, you have no one to blame but yourself."

She laughed weakly, enveloping herself tighter in his arms.