*Note: As this was an EVIL plot bunny that made me write this, this is a dark fic.  Please leave me reviews telling me what you think, or how I could make improvements.  I always accept constructive criticism, but flames will be used to roast the next evil plot bunny that tries to force itself into my head!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own anything you recognize.  Otherwise, I wouldn't spend my time writing fanfiction about Severus, I'd be out doing other… more pleasurable activities *evil grin*

On with the story!

Final Lesson

You told me once, that not all things are as they seem.  You said that you hoped it would be my most important lesson in life. 

Oh and I scoffed at you, "What could you possibly know about hidden desires, and double meanings" I retorted harshly

"I've been a spy most my life" you whispered in reply "there are some things I can't help but notice."

Then I saw: the fear and rejection my comments elicited in your eyes.  And that was the last I heard from you about hidden desires.

We worked together day and night in the cold, damp dungeons, working relentlessly; searching for a miracle, anything that we could contribute to the battlefield where our loved ones, our friends, our peers, and our mentors, all fought side by side against the Dark Lord, against the onslaught of terror threatening our way of life.

~*~*~*~

"But I want to join you!" I cried "I've enough knowledge of hexes and curses that surely I could make a formidable ally!"

But they all looked me over sadly.  The only two true friends I had ever known, leaving me to sacrifice themselves for The Cause.  And the Headmaster's clear, sad blue eyes piercing through to my very soul.

"I know my dear" he said to me "we know you have the knowledge, that's why you must stay behind.  Pave the way to our success, do what you do best: study, research, and create something we can use to our advantage."

"Please" I begged them "Harry, Ron I couldn't live with myself knowing I sent my two best friends to die… we've come all this way together, please, for the sake of my sanity, don't separate us now."

And they just looked on with unshed tears in their eyes, as they refused to speak the words that would break my heart: you can't come.  But their eyes said it all. 

Six years of friendship made their emotions an open book to me; I could read them so easily.  Then I began to laugh.  A deep, hollow, bitter laugh coming from the very core of my being.  Of course I could read them.  Reading is what got me into this mess.  The Know It All, the Bookworm, leave her behind to do the research while everyone she's ever cared for fights for their lives: and for mine.

"Promise me one thing" I wept bitterly, clutching my two lifelines close to my heart "come back to me dammit, come back to me or I swear I'll come out there and kill you myself"

And then we cried together, and laughed.  The Dream Team could never be split up.

But that was the last I saw of them.

~*~*~*~

So I worked, with naught but my stubborn determination to Make A Difference keeping me upright.  You tried to get me to rest, you always argued that I over-exerted myself and you tried to reason with my intellect.

"You won't be much to anyone if you pass out in the potion" you would silkily murmur in my ear.  "At least drink this, it will help you keep your strength."

And I drank it.

~*~*~*~

"You drugged me!" I screamed, furious "The other half of my life is out there, fighting for the both of us and everyone else in the world and you drug me?!"

"Perhaps if you had been half as alert as you claim to have been you would have smelt the contents of your drink" he hissed back "Dreamless Sleep is instantly detectable to even the densest of wizards, you should have had no problem"

The smack that resonated through the dungeons after that only served to further provoke my fury, rather than satisfy it

"Don't you ever take it upon yourself to do me any favors, you cold bastard" I replied icily "you're the last person who could ever give me what I need"

And then he lunged.

"We'll see about that" he growled, forcing me bodily up against the dungeon wall, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other behind my head, the light caresses of his fingers against my flesh betraying his fury.  Then he kissed me, like a man possessed he ravished my mouth in a deceptively gentle way, his eyes burning with a longing I had never before noted in their obsidian depth.

And then just as suddenly, he released me.  "Now that you've had a proper nights sleep and I can be sure you won't ruin our month's worth of effort, you may continue working.  I won't disturb you the rest of the night" he informed me coldly, oddly distanced. The desire in his eyes betraying him even as he spoke harshly.  Then he swept out of the room, releasing a howl of frustration just as he thought I was out of earshot.

I stared out the door for several minutes, hours perhaps, feeling his soft lips on mine, and relishing in the lingering tingle where his skin burned a fire into mine.

~*~*~*~

Perhaps you were right to give me the potion that night, or perhaps it was our … fight … after I awoke that triggered it, but suddenly, everything was wonderfully, perfectly crystal clear.  The missing ingredient!  We overlooked something so minute, yet so very critical to our months worth of research.

And so I added it.  You weren't there, but I was so excited!  Finally!  The war could be over, my friends could come back, life would be as it hadn't been in so long, since the final stages of the war had begun: Normal.  I began to laugh, then I shrieked, my joy taking on a hysterical edge.  And I heard you running down to see what was wrong.

I was not prepared for what I saw in your face.  First, horror and concern, for me!  My but I had learned to read you as well my dear.  And when you saw me sitting there unharmed, intense relief, and another emotion I dared not analyze then, but recognize now.

"I did it!  We did it!" I giggled, wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall.

You swept over to the cauldron, no doubt preparing to reprimand my foolishness, but once you took a glimpse at the perfectly smooth, unblemished texture, the pure, radiant white color, and at the very essence of the potion, you knew it as well: we were finished, we had done it!

And for the first time since the day I met you, you looked at me with pure, unadulterated admiration.  The respect I saw in your eyes filled an empty gap in my heart, and I leapt into your arms, wrapped mine around your neck and kissed away the tension and stress of the past 8 months.  Nothing mattered now!  I found where I belonged – in your arms – our work was completed, and things would finally, truly be right in the world.

~*~*~*~

"Come!" I insisted "This is it!  Lets take it to the battlefield; this could all be over by nightfall"

He shook his head at my naivety, torn between being practical and not wishing to destroy my hope.  "We must be careful; it's still not safe to venture outside of the castle"

"But we need to help them!" I cried "I will not have completed all this work to have them die the night it is finished!"  I grabbed a flask and put enough of the potion in it to ensure the death of the Dark Lord.

"Fine, I'll take it out to them myself"

But in a single stride, he was next to me, caressing my face with just the tips of his fingers.  "No, Hermione…" I shivered, it was the first time he had used my name, and that spoke more volumes than any declaration of love.  "I will take it, and you will wait here… for me?"

His eyes pleaded with me, his face a mere breath away from mine

"Okay" I breathed, too mesmerized by the depth of his eyes burning with emotion for me, to do anything other than lean forward and place the softest of kisses on his lips, hoping to convey all the emotion I had begun feeling for him these many months.

Then he smiled, the most beautiful smile I had ever beheld and he whispered seductively in my ear, "hold that thought…"

~*~*~*~

And then you left.  Left to do a task that was my responsibility!  Why!  Why did you let your foolish sense of nobility and obligation carry you to the battlefield.

I waited for only minutes, but which passed by as an eternity, before I made my way though the castle, up to the entrance hall to see the battlefield for myself, for the first time.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight.  The grass stretching from the entrance down to the Forbidden Forest and past the lake, brown and dead- much like the atmosphere surrounding the battle.  Bodies everywhere, witches and wizards on the brink of exhaustion, fighting for all they were worth.

And then you, my love, like a dark angel you glided across the field towards the unsuspecting figure of your former master, the Dark Lord.  So silently you made your way, Hogwarts staff finally taking note of you.  Hope, shining anew in their eyes: here was their savior!  Here was the answer.  Month's worth of exhaustion and starvation would be over!

Oh and you would have been proud.  The sight of you gave them all the power to draw on their stores of energy that they had saved for just this occasion.  The Death Eaters – equally exhausted – were caught off-guard and were quickly over-taken.

And you, my savior, my angel of mercy, you crept ever onward, nearing your target and everybody held their breath.  This was it: The Final Moment.

But the Dark Lord was not infamously feared for nothing.  He sensed the change in the atmosphere, and as time stood still for me, he began to turn towards you, his battered and bruised form slowly making its way in your direction.

I mentally urged you faster.  You took out the flask, and with a mighty roar you threw it on to him!  The flask exploded above him and the pearl white potion- a symbol of purity to destroy the evil- began to rain upon the Dark Lord.

A cheer went up from our friends, and too late, Voldemort realized his mistake; his doom.  You see, it was because of your darkness, my love, that he did not sense you approaching.

They say that hatred towards a treasonous ally is worse than one could ever feel for an enemy.  I know now that it's true.  Instead of casting his final curse at Harry or Dumbledore, he turned to you my angel.  And as the potion began to devour the flesh on his face he uttered his last and final words: Avada Kedarva.

You turned to me then, as the light slowly began to engulf your body, and gave me a look I will never forget.  "Forgive me," it said.

Not trusting my legs, I apparated to where you were standing- the apparition wards having been long destroyed- and I caught you as you fell.

"No!" I cried, over and over.  And then the Fates, which were the cause of all my pain and suffering, gave me just a moment, where you reached out to my face and whispered "Hermione…" for the second and final time.

"I love you!" I sobbed—but it was too late.  I felt your spirit leaving then, brushing ever so slightly by my lips as Harry and Ron came to me, and led me silently away from you.

~

You told me once, that not all things are as they seem.  I see that now, and it was the most important and harshest lesson I've ever learned.  It was the last thing you ever taught me.