Hey again, everyone! Sorry for the late update! I had a dilemma, you see…. I couldn't decide on what song to "parodize". ^-^ But I've come up with something now! (Oh, wow, hooray). By the way, sorry about the last chapter! I understand there were quite some mistakes. I apologize for saying "orks" instead of "orcs". You see, my LOTR books are being borrowed right now, and I was too lazy to check on the net if it was "orks" or "orcs". Lol, I had a mental block that time. ^-^ And about the "orks" that were supposed to be "uruk-hai", sorry again because I usually call them "orkies". Go figure. -_-'

Anyway, hope you like this chap! And lastly, no SLASH here. Just a bit of angst-y! Legolas. Even if I like slash, it doesn't fit into this fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. Nor do I own Hercules, or any songs from it…

~Chapter 3~

Legolas approaches Gimli, holding his bow. Gimli is sitting on a most probably dead orc, his axe resting on its head. The dwarf is merely smoking his pipe, as if he were in paradise.

Legolas: Final count….. 42

Gimli: (grins) 42! Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on 43.

Legolas feels his blood boiling, but manages to keep calm on the outside. He suddenly shoots an arrow in between Gimli's legs, at the (dead?) orc. Gimli looks shocked and appalled.

Legolas: (smirks) 43.

Gimli: He was already dead.

Legolas: He was twitching!

Gimli: He was twitching… Because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system! (shakes his axe, while it's still stuck on the orc's head)

The orc indeed, does twitch. Gimli pulls out his axe and stalks off, extremely proud of himself. Legolas sighs, and sits on a nearby bench(a/n: please don't ask how it got there. It just did)

Legolas: (starts fingering his bow [lovingly], then suddenly stops, frustrated) ….Ugh, what's the matter with me? … You'd think an elf would win…(looks up at the moon[it's night-time already. Just bear with me, okay?])


If there's a prize for rotten shooting…

I guess I've already won that.


No dwarf is worth the agg-ra-va-tionnnn….. (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn suddenly notice his singing, and turn their heads, then approach)


That's ancient history - been there, done that! (drops his bow on the ground on purpose)


Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: (start dancing and singing in the background) Who'd ya think you're kiddin',

That dwarf has just embarrassed y-ou,


Try to keep it hidden,


Honey, we can see right through you! (Legolas: Oh,-)


Elf, ya can't conceal it! (Legolas: nooooooooooooo-)


We know how you feel and- (Legolas: -ooooooooo-)


Who you're jeaaaaalous o-f! (Legolas: -oooooooooo!)

The muses- I mean, Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn pick up his bow and try to give it back to Legolas.



Legolas: Ohh…. No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no! (shakes his head angrily and knocks the bow out of the four's hands )



Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: You scream, you cry, why deny it, uh-oh….!



Legolas: It's too…. Cliché! (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: -ohhhhhhhhhh!)

I won't say that I lost…! (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: -ohhhhhhhh!)

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: Shoodoo, Shoodoo…… Ooooooooooooooooh!

Legolas: I though my pride had learned its lesson! (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: -OoooooOOOOOHHHHH…!)

I thought I'd won when I start-ed out…. (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: -OOOOOoooohhhh!)


My head is screaming: "get a grip, Elf!" (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAHH!)

Unless you're dying to-

Legolas and the four: -vent your rage out…!


Legolas: Ohhhhhhhhhh-!!!!!!!!!! (puts his hands on his ears, trying to shut out the annoying, singing voices of the humans)

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: You keep on denying! (Legolas: -OHHHHHH-!!!!)

That you're losin', dwarf is winnin'!  (Legolas: -OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!)

Baby, we're not buying,

Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling!


Face it like a grown up (Legolas: Oh-hooooooohhhh!)

When ya gonna own up, (Legolas: -hooooooohhhh!)

That you lost, lost, lost it baaaaa-ad!!! (Aragorn holds the bow out in front of Legolas's face, but the elf refuses to accept it)

Legolas: Woah-ohhh…….

No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no!!! (stands up and starts walking away)

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: (chase after him, holding his bow and then surround him) Give up, give in!

Aragorn: It's a sin, you just lost! (pokes Legolas with the bow)


Legolas: This scene - won't play! (backs up and walks in the other direction)

I won't say that I loooooooost!

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: You're doin' flips, read our lips:

You just lost! (chase after him again)
 

Legolas: (Thoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: Shoodoo! Shoodoo!) You're way off base!

I won't say it! (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: He won't say he lost!)

(Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: Shut up! Shut up!) GET OFF my case, I won't say it!!!!

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: Elf, don't be proud… (they push him back and force him to sit on the bench. Legolas complies, though reluctantly)

It's okay, you just lost…. (they hand him back his bow for the last time)

Legolas: (lays back down on the bench, accepts the bow and clutches it to his heart) Ohhhhhhh... (smiles to himself)

At least inside, I ha-d not looooooooost….. (Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: Shoodoo, Shoodoo, Shoodoo…)

Theoden, Eomer, Eowyn and Aragorn: (shake their heads) Shalalalala-la….. (sigh)

They walk away, muttering about arrogant and proud elves, while Legolas stares at the moon and soon falls asleep.

~End~

Phew! That was long! *sigh* Well, hope you liked it…. By the way, for those who don't know, the first part(in bold lettering) is in the actual script of Two Towers Extended Edition: The Body Count. In the book, Legolas did lose by one point, but in the movie he said that twitching thing, and the scene cuts off after Gimli's line. So, we never find out if it was a tie or if Leggy lost…. (X-files music plays)

Anyway, I've decided to "parodize" some Lion King songs first, so it'd be less confusing.

Next Chapter: Be Prepared by Saruman, and starring a couple of orcs and uruk-hai too.

After that, I *could* do Hakuna Matata and I Just Can't Wait to be King, but I know those are already over-done…. But if you guys still want them, just say so *shrug*. After the Lion King, I guess I'll be doing Little Mermaid. So many wonderful songs I can use!

Bye bye for now!