Chapter 3
Torturing silence and tension was hanging in the air during the 20-minute ride to the hospital, none of us dared to say a word. My life was about falling apart. With teary eyes I started a silent prayer. My stomach was still in knots, my heart was pounding with fears.
Without much ceremony we ran into the building when we got there. Arranging my thoughts I stopped the first nurse bumping into me.
"I'm Maria von Trapp, Georg von Trapp's wife... where is my husband?" I trailed off.
"He is being operated on now, it can take a few more hours" the nurse answered my question lowly.
"How serious are his injuries?" Friedrich asked in a more settled tone.
"As far as I know he has broken legs and one or two broken ribs... potential internal injuries give more reason for being concerned, Sir. But we'll be more informed once they have finished with the surgery." The nurse said with an understanding expression on her face and motioned for us where we could wait.
Hours had passed and nothing happened, none of us spoke. I was sunk deeply in my thoughts when sounds of rushing feet caught my ears. I looked up slowly and saw Liesl and Annie arrive. I stood up when they reached us.
"Oh, mother...." Annie threw her hands around my neck all the while she didn't stop crying. I held her close to me and let my cry become stronger.
"Darling.... my Annie, you're back..... you're back.... " I cried.
"How is father doing?" She asked with a sob while looking into my eyes.
"He is still being operated on.... he might have internal injuries...." I answered while trying to compose myself. "We have been waiting here for almost two hours and no one has left the operating room." I went on.
All the four of us returned to our seats. Annie's hand reached for mine and held it tightly. I felt her fingers trembling in mine. Another silent hour had passed when the door to the operating room opened and a doctor approached our seats. The expression on his face indicated that something was wrong.
"Mrs. Von Trapp?" he asked with an exhausted look.
"Yes" I said while swallowing deeply.
"I'm Dr. Swanson. Could you please follow me into my office? I have to talk to you privately Madame." He said and I felt the knot increasing in my stomach.
* * *
"Take a seat, please". He said softly.
I was trembling as I took my seat to face him. I couldn't say a word.
"Mrs. Von Trapp..." the tone in his voice indicated what was going to follow "You see Mrs. Von Trapp, your husband has been injured very badly. Besides some broken bones we discovered serious internal haemorrhaging, but we were still able to keep it under control until....." I almost fainted at his words... what was he going to say?
"Until what?" I managed to ask after a big swallow and my fingers clinging to the armrest all the while I wanted to scream out.
"During the operation..... he fell into a coma." He answered my question in a low voice.
That didn't sound good, I assumed. I didn't know what I should say, what I should ask and I had no idea what was coming next. The doctor must have noticed the startled look on my face because he started talking.
"Mrs. Von Trapp... I know it's hard on you now.... but you mustn't give up the hope. At this point there is nothing more I can tell you.... I don't know how long it will take and if.....you understand what I mean?" he said in an understanding tone. I softly nodded in agreement but still it was beyond my belief that I was the one receiving all this information.
"He is being transfered to the intensive care unit where he can be monitored all the time." The doctor went on. Looking at him in silent understanding I didn't dare to ask any question. Silently I swallowed my tears.
"Doctor, may I see him?" I asked after a long moment of silence still unsure if I was prepared to see him like that.
"As for visiting him Mrs. Von Trapp he can receive only a limited number of visitors for the time being, you understand? We have to keep in mind what's the best for him." I softly nodded in response.
"Can I see him now briefly? Please!" I asked with begging eyes filled with tears.
"But only you, Mrs. Von Trapp and it should be really a short visit. I'll have a nurse escort you to his room." He answered.
First I went to find my children to fulfil the duty of giving them the terrible news. All the three of them collapsed in their seats. I asked Friedrich to call home to let the others know about Georg's condition while I was going to visit him briefly.
Our private moment was disturbed by the nurse who was going to escort me to him. I followed her with resignation to the intensive care unit. The sight of him left me breathless when entering the room. I was really not prepared to see my beloved husband in a condition like that. His face was pale covered with purple bruises all over. Machines were attached to his body to help him breathe. He lay motionless there, his eyes closed to the world. My tears came like a storm. Slowly, with reserve I approached his bed and gently touched his hand. I could hardly see from the veil of tears covering my eyes.
"Darling.... I love you. We all love you. Please promise me one thing, one little thing.... you should get better soon." I gently stroked his hand when I felt someone tapping me on my shoulder.
"Sorry, Mrs. Von Trapp but I think you should leave now. You can come back tomorrow and anytime you wish to visit him. Your presence will surely help." The nurse said standing behind me.
"Alright, now I'm leaving, but I'll be back my love." I stood up and turned into the direction of the door.
My children were waiting for me outside, and almost immediately I fell into Liesl's arms. I was still in shock upon seeing him like that. I let my tears become stronger and when outside I couldn't help crying anymore. The ride home didn't take more than 25 minutes but for me it seemed like an eternity........ all I knew that my life would never be the same again.
The days since the accident had slowly turned into weeks and there was no change in his condition. The external wounds covering his body had started healing but he was still motionless. There was nothing we or the doctors could do about him. For the last month I had only been living on sleeping pills if I wanted to get some sleep at night. When I was awake all I could think of was him. I spent most of my time in the hospital on sitting at his bedside, holding his hand in the hope that he would open his eyes to the world. In the hope that he can hear me I told him about everything going on at home.
Our life was a pure torture. The happy cheerful laughter and singing disappeared from our family activities. Besides spending hours at his bedside I also had maternal duties to fulfil. I was exhausted and getting weaker day-by-day. I had lost at least 8 pounds within a month due to the lack of rest and appetite caused by the living nightmare I had to go through.
My friends and family, however, were of full support. There was always someone to watch over the children when I needed to run into the hospital. My children silently understood and took in that something had changed in our lives although it was a mother heart torture to see their sad faces when thinking of their father. The happy family dinners and meals were only past memories, the happy chattings turned into silence.
One day Annie and I went to town to do some shopping for things she would need when returning to college after the summer holidays. In a crowded shop I felt a sudden dizziness coming over me.
"Mother, are you alright? Your face is all white... mother?" Annie asked with concerns in her eyes.
"I don't know darling. I have been feeling weak for a while now.... ever since it happened actually, but today is worse than any other day before." I said. Annie took my hand and led me out of the shop to a nearby bench.
"Mother, maybe you should see a doctor... father wouldn't want to see you like this.... oh, sorry Mom".
"It's okay Darling, it's okay... I know it's not me.... I'm afraid for the first time of my life. I'm scared of what tomorrow will bring. My life has fallen apart, everything that I thought to be secure have disappeared and we do not know if...." I couldn't go on without getting into tears.
"Mother, I'm afraid too......" she started crying. I hugged her close to me and gently rubbed her back in comfort.
"Everything will be fine Darling, everything." I was suprised by my sudden optimism.
"I love you mother" she said in my embrace.
"I love you too and maybe I didn't have time for you lately, but believe me I'm very proud of you Annie and so is your father." I gently stroked her face.
"Really?" she asked, her question surprizing me.
"Yes, he is. How could he not? He said that you were a miracle and he was very excited about your homecoming". Annie's eyes filled with tears again.
"Thank you Mom. That means a lot to me" she said.
"Okay, I feel much better now. There are few more errands ahead of us. Can we go now? I asked and rose from my seat.
"Mother, please promise me to take better care of yourself. We all are concerned about you." Annie said with love radiating from her eyes.
"Yes, little doctor" I said with a little smile and gave her a hug.
We spent the rest of the afternoon on going to various shops and in a way this activity lifted our spirits.
When I returned to my bedroom after a long day, I usually had a hard time falling asleep. I didn't want to get addicted to sleeping pills, so I tried to avoid taking any. For hours I lay awake in my bed thinking and pondering the situation and trying to find a way to survive. Annie's words echoed in my head. She had been completely right earlier that day when she had said that I wasn't paying enough attention to myself. My family, my children needed me. They didn't know if they would ever get their father back, but they should at least have a reliable mother. Putting deed to my resolution I decided to make an appointment with Dr. Miller to get a full medical check-up.
To be continued.....
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Torturing silence and tension was hanging in the air during the 20-minute ride to the hospital, none of us dared to say a word. My life was about falling apart. With teary eyes I started a silent prayer. My stomach was still in knots, my heart was pounding with fears.
Without much ceremony we ran into the building when we got there. Arranging my thoughts I stopped the first nurse bumping into me.
"I'm Maria von Trapp, Georg von Trapp's wife... where is my husband?" I trailed off.
"He is being operated on now, it can take a few more hours" the nurse answered my question lowly.
"How serious are his injuries?" Friedrich asked in a more settled tone.
"As far as I know he has broken legs and one or two broken ribs... potential internal injuries give more reason for being concerned, Sir. But we'll be more informed once they have finished with the surgery." The nurse said with an understanding expression on her face and motioned for us where we could wait.
Hours had passed and nothing happened, none of us spoke. I was sunk deeply in my thoughts when sounds of rushing feet caught my ears. I looked up slowly and saw Liesl and Annie arrive. I stood up when they reached us.
"Oh, mother...." Annie threw her hands around my neck all the while she didn't stop crying. I held her close to me and let my cry become stronger.
"Darling.... my Annie, you're back..... you're back.... " I cried.
"How is father doing?" She asked with a sob while looking into my eyes.
"He is still being operated on.... he might have internal injuries...." I answered while trying to compose myself. "We have been waiting here for almost two hours and no one has left the operating room." I went on.
All the four of us returned to our seats. Annie's hand reached for mine and held it tightly. I felt her fingers trembling in mine. Another silent hour had passed when the door to the operating room opened and a doctor approached our seats. The expression on his face indicated that something was wrong.
"Mrs. Von Trapp?" he asked with an exhausted look.
"Yes" I said while swallowing deeply.
"I'm Dr. Swanson. Could you please follow me into my office? I have to talk to you privately Madame." He said and I felt the knot increasing in my stomach.
* * *
"Take a seat, please". He said softly.
I was trembling as I took my seat to face him. I couldn't say a word.
"Mrs. Von Trapp..." the tone in his voice indicated what was going to follow "You see Mrs. Von Trapp, your husband has been injured very badly. Besides some broken bones we discovered serious internal haemorrhaging, but we were still able to keep it under control until....." I almost fainted at his words... what was he going to say?
"Until what?" I managed to ask after a big swallow and my fingers clinging to the armrest all the while I wanted to scream out.
"During the operation..... he fell into a coma." He answered my question in a low voice.
That didn't sound good, I assumed. I didn't know what I should say, what I should ask and I had no idea what was coming next. The doctor must have noticed the startled look on my face because he started talking.
"Mrs. Von Trapp... I know it's hard on you now.... but you mustn't give up the hope. At this point there is nothing more I can tell you.... I don't know how long it will take and if.....you understand what I mean?" he said in an understanding tone. I softly nodded in agreement but still it was beyond my belief that I was the one receiving all this information.
"He is being transfered to the intensive care unit where he can be monitored all the time." The doctor went on. Looking at him in silent understanding I didn't dare to ask any question. Silently I swallowed my tears.
"Doctor, may I see him?" I asked after a long moment of silence still unsure if I was prepared to see him like that.
"As for visiting him Mrs. Von Trapp he can receive only a limited number of visitors for the time being, you understand? We have to keep in mind what's the best for him." I softly nodded in response.
"Can I see him now briefly? Please!" I asked with begging eyes filled with tears.
"But only you, Mrs. Von Trapp and it should be really a short visit. I'll have a nurse escort you to his room." He answered.
First I went to find my children to fulfil the duty of giving them the terrible news. All the three of them collapsed in their seats. I asked Friedrich to call home to let the others know about Georg's condition while I was going to visit him briefly.
Our private moment was disturbed by the nurse who was going to escort me to him. I followed her with resignation to the intensive care unit. The sight of him left me breathless when entering the room. I was really not prepared to see my beloved husband in a condition like that. His face was pale covered with purple bruises all over. Machines were attached to his body to help him breathe. He lay motionless there, his eyes closed to the world. My tears came like a storm. Slowly, with reserve I approached his bed and gently touched his hand. I could hardly see from the veil of tears covering my eyes.
"Darling.... I love you. We all love you. Please promise me one thing, one little thing.... you should get better soon." I gently stroked his hand when I felt someone tapping me on my shoulder.
"Sorry, Mrs. Von Trapp but I think you should leave now. You can come back tomorrow and anytime you wish to visit him. Your presence will surely help." The nurse said standing behind me.
"Alright, now I'm leaving, but I'll be back my love." I stood up and turned into the direction of the door.
My children were waiting for me outside, and almost immediately I fell into Liesl's arms. I was still in shock upon seeing him like that. I let my tears become stronger and when outside I couldn't help crying anymore. The ride home didn't take more than 25 minutes but for me it seemed like an eternity........ all I knew that my life would never be the same again.
The days since the accident had slowly turned into weeks and there was no change in his condition. The external wounds covering his body had started healing but he was still motionless. There was nothing we or the doctors could do about him. For the last month I had only been living on sleeping pills if I wanted to get some sleep at night. When I was awake all I could think of was him. I spent most of my time in the hospital on sitting at his bedside, holding his hand in the hope that he would open his eyes to the world. In the hope that he can hear me I told him about everything going on at home.
Our life was a pure torture. The happy cheerful laughter and singing disappeared from our family activities. Besides spending hours at his bedside I also had maternal duties to fulfil. I was exhausted and getting weaker day-by-day. I had lost at least 8 pounds within a month due to the lack of rest and appetite caused by the living nightmare I had to go through.
My friends and family, however, were of full support. There was always someone to watch over the children when I needed to run into the hospital. My children silently understood and took in that something had changed in our lives although it was a mother heart torture to see their sad faces when thinking of their father. The happy family dinners and meals were only past memories, the happy chattings turned into silence.
One day Annie and I went to town to do some shopping for things she would need when returning to college after the summer holidays. In a crowded shop I felt a sudden dizziness coming over me.
"Mother, are you alright? Your face is all white... mother?" Annie asked with concerns in her eyes.
"I don't know darling. I have been feeling weak for a while now.... ever since it happened actually, but today is worse than any other day before." I said. Annie took my hand and led me out of the shop to a nearby bench.
"Mother, maybe you should see a doctor... father wouldn't want to see you like this.... oh, sorry Mom".
"It's okay Darling, it's okay... I know it's not me.... I'm afraid for the first time of my life. I'm scared of what tomorrow will bring. My life has fallen apart, everything that I thought to be secure have disappeared and we do not know if...." I couldn't go on without getting into tears.
"Mother, I'm afraid too......" she started crying. I hugged her close to me and gently rubbed her back in comfort.
"Everything will be fine Darling, everything." I was suprised by my sudden optimism.
"I love you mother" she said in my embrace.
"I love you too and maybe I didn't have time for you lately, but believe me I'm very proud of you Annie and so is your father." I gently stroked her face.
"Really?" she asked, her question surprizing me.
"Yes, he is. How could he not? He said that you were a miracle and he was very excited about your homecoming". Annie's eyes filled with tears again.
"Thank you Mom. That means a lot to me" she said.
"Okay, I feel much better now. There are few more errands ahead of us. Can we go now? I asked and rose from my seat.
"Mother, please promise me to take better care of yourself. We all are concerned about you." Annie said with love radiating from her eyes.
"Yes, little doctor" I said with a little smile and gave her a hug.
We spent the rest of the afternoon on going to various shops and in a way this activity lifted our spirits.
When I returned to my bedroom after a long day, I usually had a hard time falling asleep. I didn't want to get addicted to sleeping pills, so I tried to avoid taking any. For hours I lay awake in my bed thinking and pondering the situation and trying to find a way to survive. Annie's words echoed in my head. She had been completely right earlier that day when she had said that I wasn't paying enough attention to myself. My family, my children needed me. They didn't know if they would ever get their father back, but they should at least have a reliable mother. Putting deed to my resolution I decided to make an appointment with Dr. Miller to get a full medical check-up.
To be continued.....
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