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Cherry Waterfall
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a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic
By: Hatti Lee*
Also known as:
Saiyajin Peach
Saiyajin Peach 18
Amalthea*
Beloved Animosity
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net
Started: 10.2.3
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu
Author's Notes: Hello! I hope you're enjoying! Let me know if there's anything that needs improvement! First person happens to be a difficult thing for me, but I'm trying. Again, please let me know if there's anything that needs imrovement. R & R!
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!
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Chapter II: Prayer Answered
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Kaworu:
And suddenly I am self aware. I'm disoriented for a moment, but then I realize I only exist on a higher plane, my soul all that's left of me.
Slowly memories are restored and I'm quite confused. I was destroyed, how am I here? Angels do not have immortal souls like the Lilim, that gift to them for being Kami's final and perfected beings.
My lack of a body makes me incapable of seeing or hearing, yet I have a sense of being within an endless sea of white noise.
Time is strange and unreadable. Seconds or decades could have passed while I reflected on my time on Earth.
Shinji Ikari. All the brief memories flash through me like a film. My affection towards him had been real, as it still is.
There is a weight on my mind and I feel as if my soul is being pushed into a space, a small space. I sense another soul, a Lilim it seems. Realization hits me... I'm being pushed into a body. Perhaps Kami favors me after all, but the other soul fights hard with youth and endurance.
Joy fills me at this opportunity to return. How I so love the mortal world! The fight is over and the other soul drifts, no doubt to heaven.
As I'm now completely within this new space, I still feel nothing but overjoyed that Kami is granting my only desire.
And then I hear a voice, or rather, a thought, and it's so familiar.
I feel lonely... yearn for a best friend, a lover, someone who understands me completely... Of everything that I've been through and done, against my will... Isn't it something I deserve?!
My emotions warm, no, it wasn't a thought, but a prayer. Shinji's prayer. So, Kami isn't giving me a gift after all, and he wanted to make that quite clear. Well, that's okay. If Kami wishes to grant Shinji's prayer, who better to send than the Angel who gave his life so he could live.
I'm disoriented again as sensation rushes upon me. I feel suffocated and cramped, and it takes a while for me to adjust. As I do so, I take in the world around me. The air smells warm and stale, of Human sweat. I'm sitting upon a hard, cool surface, leaning with my back against a similar surface. I can feel the clothes upon me, warm and damp.
Finally, my spirit is finished testing the boundaries in this body, it's capabilities. I'm calmer now and I now open my eyes.
I'm in a large room, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. It seems to be a bedroom. The walls are a chipped beige, the paint old and peeling. There are four beds, many stained throw carpets, and two windows, both wide open. A gentle breeze caresses tattered curtains as it finds it's way to me, warm against my skin.
There is another in the room with me, a young man. He sits on the bed nearest me, and though he is sitting, I can see that he is tall, not of Japanese descent. He appears to be in his mid twenties, and he is looking at me oddly.
Without word I rise to my feet, using the wall to steady myself as I'm reminded how to do all this.
Little brother?
I'm halfway through the door when I turn and smile to him, and then I'm out of sight and he will never see his little brother again. It doesn't bother me.
It takes me a bit to get completely out of the building, but I manage. The buildings here seem run down, old, worn. I walk down the sidewalk, letting the summer sun warm me further. I like the feeling.
Five buildings later, I come to one in the worst condition yet. Upon entering, I see that it is more crowded than I thought it would be. After a somewhat challenging search, I find a room that is empty, though it's obvious that someone is currently living here. I find my way to a bathroom and relieve myself, enjoying it. Such a small, insignificant thing feels absolutely glorious. Of all the Angels, I'm the closest to the Lilim and I revel in all sensations from blinking taking a piss.
On my way out of the dank little room, I pass a mirror and stop. Looking at my reflection, I'm a bit amazed that it's me. This body is quite similar to its brother's, however, not as tall. Its chin square, large ears, dark skin, and squinted eyes.
Once my sense took notice of the subtle changes, I found myself transfixed. I must have stood there for hours watching as my appearance ever so slowly changed before my eyes. My chin narrowing and pointing, skin losing its pigment, my eyes becoming wider as they transformed from dark brown to ruby red. Even my hair was changing, shortening, turning its once gray/silver color. It was rather amazing.
The clothes upon me, a shabby black T-shirt and a pair of worn, black slacks, became loose as my form narrowed, my height for some reason remaining. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I made my way out of the room and then out of the building.
I feel lonely.
Shinji. I need to find Shinji, but I have no idea when or where I am. So, I walk and walk. Eventually, I find myself in an even busier section of the city with many classy, intelligent looking people.
My attempts at asking for directions seem hopeless as I'm repeatedly ignored and now and then scoffed upon for my dingy appearance. I also received many odd stares. I even had one young man ask if I was an albino. I couldn't help but chuckle, if they only knew.
Then, I see a woman in moth-eaten clothes pushy a cart filled with odd things, and I approach her, Excuse me, do you know where I might find Shinji Ikari?
She stops and looks me up and down. Seemingly satisfied, she begins talking to me, but her words are strange and I can't understand them. They aren't any language I know.
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Kaji:
I'm enjoying my stroll towards the Government Archive Complex to flirt with a certain violet-haired beauty when I notice an odd looking fellow across the street.
My investigative career, while still necessary, isn't as important as it once was, and I was given the rest of the day off.
Now I find myself staring at what I initially thought was a young woman, but now that I'm closer, I can see that what I thought was a she is in fact a he.
Hey, do I know you? I ask, tapping the young man's shoulder. The homeless woman he was talking with glances at me and then quickly pushes her cart away.
He turns and shock floods me. The Seventeenth Angel. There's no mistaking that pale skin, those red eyes, and that light hair.
What are you doing here? I ask, my fear pushed down as I play it cool, loosening my tie.
He appears confused. He doesn't know me.
Do you know where I might find Shinji Ikari? he asks politely.
I know what you are. What do you want with Shinji? I'm stern now, my manners out the window. This could be dangerous.
He smiles slightly, almost seeming pleased that I recognizes him... No, he's pleased that I know Shinji. Then I remember what Misato had told me of Shinji's distress after destroying the final Angel, and his renewed distress now.
Why are you here? What do you want with Shinji? I repeat, my eyes suspicious.
His smile fades, I must find him.
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't,
He sighs, his head bowing somewhat as he gazes at his bare feet. Then he looks up at me, sad eyes staring at me from beneath his bangs, I must find him. he repeats.
This time I sigh, He's going to freak when he sees you.
The Angel's smile returns as he waits for what he knows know I'm going to give him, He lives with Katsuragi and Asuka in the Furui Section.
His eyes show uncertainty and I realize that he has no clue what I'm talking about. Without words I withdraw one of my business cards and a pen from my jacket. It takes a few minutes, but finally I have drawn him a small map. I hand it to him, careful not to make contact.
Thank you. he says with a smile, turning and beginning his journey. I'm not sure if I've done the right thing, but his intentions seem good.
As I continue on my way to the Archive Complex, I decide that it'd be best to keep this from my lover. Her hatred towards the Angels is still strong even today. It'd be best for her to discover this on her own.
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Asuka:
This time I made certain Shinji was headed straight home before Hikari and I headed for the park. Misato had made it clear that I do so for a while. I feel a slight jealousy in the pit of my stomach, but I try not to concentrate on it.
You know, Asuka, Toji asked me to the Star Festival dance. Hikari says shyly.
But that's nearly a month away! I exclaim, still confused as to what she sees in a dumb jock like that.
Yeah, he said he wanted to make sure some other guy didn't ask me before he had the chance. A few moments pass as she stares down at her feet, smiling and blushing.
Bleh! Hey, Hikari, let's go over to your house. I suggest, though I'm sure it sounded more like a demand.
She looks up at me and smiles, More video games?
I smile too, she knows me so well! I nod and soon enough we're on our way. I'll have plenty of time to beat a couple of levels and be home before Misato.
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Shinji:
I came straight home after school, just as Asuka demanded. I wanted so desperately to stop by the lake again, but I would lose track of time and then it would get late and everyone would worry.
So, instead I lie in bed losing track of time. I've had my headphones put up for so long, and now I'm listening to them, to that song. His song.
Small memories play and replay in my mind... That evening in the showers... The night I stayed over at his place... There are so few, and yet they are the most important memories I have. I can't imagine myself without them.
Why do I feel so alone? Why am I so sad? I just regret what I did. If only I hadn't been so worked up, if only I hadn't gotten so angry. Maybe he'd be here today, and I wouldn't be alone.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of the bell. I sit up, my headphones falling off. Asuka's with Hikari and Misato's at work... Who could it be?
I rise from my bed and pull some pants on over my shorts, pulling at my T-shirt in an attempt to rid it of wrinkles. Then, I make may way down the hall towards the front door.
With the press of a button, the door slides open and I'm utterly shocked. I take a step back and my vision blurs.
A whisper on my lips as I turn my gaze to the floor. Is my wishing and hoping causing me to hallucinate? It can't be, I killed him!
Slowly, I open my eyes and glance over... There, standing just outside the apartment are a pair of bare feet. I let my eyes trail upwards... His pants are worn with holes in the knees, a bit further and I see that his T-shirt's in no better shape, littered with holes, pale flesh peeking through. I squeeze my eyes shut. This can't be real! Sighing deeply, I open them again, his perfect face coming into focus before me.
A question now. I take two steps forward, nearly touching him, when he smiles. It's a bit of a surprise, and I find myself still not believing. I take four steps back, leaning against the wall now, slowly sliding down to the floor as my eyes begin watering up.
The world goes blurry again, and then he speaks, May I come in? His voice is just as I remember it, cool, confident, and polite.
I nod, unable to speak. With one step he's in the hallway with me and the door slides shut.
A... Are you real? I ask, my voice shaky and forced, my gaze remaining on his feet.
He squats down before me and reaches forward, his hand holding my chin, bringing my gaze to his face, Do I feel real?
The tears are unleashed, and I begin sobbing. He takes his hand back and waits. Ten minutes must have passed while we both remained that way, me crying and him waiting.
Eventually, my tears slow and we manage to get to my room. We're sitting on the bed now, not three feet apart. He hasn't disappeared yet and I haven't woke. It really must be real.
I ask, my voice small.
Kami heard your prayer. I am here for you now. He says it so matter-of-factly, turning and smiling at me.
Unable to resist, and oddly feeling bold, I scoot forward, touching the hem of his shirt, careful not to make skin contact, Where did you get these clothes?
They came with the body. His answer makes me look up, a bit surprised and mostly confused.
I came back in someone's body, it slowly changed to make me look like I used to, but it still holds its age, about twenty years.
Where are your shoes? at my question, he crosses his legs, lifting one foot to look at its bottom.
I don't have any.
My eyes go wide, and I jump to my feet. The sole of his foot is completely covered in blisters, Kami... Wait here, I'll get something.
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Kaworu:
The smile on my face seems unmovable. He's so adorable. I'd waited while he cried, either out of joy or sorrow, I don't know.
There is a sound in the room I hadn't noticed before. Music? I turn my gaze to the bed and notice his headphones lying there. I lift an ear piece closer, Ode to Joy.
He returns to the room, sees what I've discovered and blushes. How I love that blush.
I... I brought some stuff for your feet. he says, lifting the few items in his arms.
I nod, returning his headphones and pressing the button. He comes closer, looking at me as if he doesn't know what to do. I move completely on to the bed, turning onto my stomach, and bending my legs at the knees so that my feet are up in the air.
Oh, you want me to...? he asks, that blush returning slightly.
I don't answer and he comes even closer.
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Shinji:
His feet really are bad, and I use it to concentrate all my energy there. I couldn't find much, alcohol, ointment, and some gauze. I don't even know what you're supposed to do with blisters. On closer inspection, I can see that just about all of them are open, which is a relief to me, but must hurt like hell.
Um... Th... This is going to sting. I warn as I begin gently cleaning the wounds with the alcohol and some cotton. He doesn't make a sound.
Eventually I'm finished with that and I apply a thick layer of ointment over the soles of his feet. After wrapping his feet with the gauze I step back, There, done.
I watch as he sits up placing his feet on the floor, Thank you.
Oh, here... Maybe you should where these. I suggest, grabbing my slippers and putting them before him.
His voice is soft and I look to him, making eye contact. Those eyes. I lose my balance and gently crumple to the floor, sitting before him.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sobbing again and I can't stop repeating my apology.
Shinji, there is nothing to apologize for.
Just as he finishes speaking I hear the front door open and my eyes go wide, Asuka, If they now you're here... I whisper, looking to him. He doesn't appear to be worried, and yet panic is gripping my heart.
Would you like me to leave? he asks, speaking quietly as well, obviously for my sake.
I nearly shout, No, I just... The apartments on the top level are abandoned... Maybe...
Would you like me to stay there?
Is that okay? If Asuka or Misato find out you're here, it could get bad. I say, warmth rising to my cheeks. What am I even thinking? This is insane! It's a dream, it's all a dream.
He smiles, That would be fine.
I rise and peek out my bedroom door to see that Asuka is no where in sight. I can hear music coming from her room, this is my chance. Without a sound I motion for him to follow me. He rises to his feet, no signs of pain, and comes close, standing just behind me.
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Asuka:
I guess I should check to see if Shinji's in his room. I sigh as I slide my bedroom door open, and just as I do, I hear the front door open and close. Misato must be home.
Shinji's room is empty, he's not here. Great, just great. Now Misato's going to want to go on another search. Stupid Shinji! I bet he's doing all this for attention! A pang in my heart tells me I'm lying. Deep down I know he's not the type to do something so low... It's something I would do.
I take a deep breath and shake my head. This isn't something I want to be thinking about!
Poor Shinji. Underneath my hard shell I feel sorry for him. The dope.
I sigh again and head to the kitchen to greet Misato, only she's not there. I look around the apartment to find that she's not even here. Confused, I check the time. Misato's not supposed to be home for another thirty minutes.
Then who...?
I shrug it off, maybe Shinji was here after all. But then, where did he go?
Oh well. It's none of my business. I return to my room and to my music, the latest in J-pop... This stuff really is pretty good.
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Kaworu:
I follow Shinji on feet that are beginning to feel... Strange. We take an elevator in silence. Upon arriving at the top level, I take a look around. No wonder it's abandoned. There's a huge hole in the ceiling and I can see the sky, which is beginning to darken.
There's one apartment up here that's not so bad. I come here sometimes to get away from everyone and be alone. he says as we enter said apartment. He's right. It's not nearly as damaged as the rest of the level, though there is still a section in the living room ceiling about four by four feet in which I can see the sky. I kind of like it.
You still don't like dealing with people? I ask. He only blushes.
There are still a number of furnishings. A couch in the living room as well as a lamp. One bedroom still has a bed. There's a table in the kitchen. Other than that it's fairly empty.
He's standing there like he doesn't know what else to do or say, It still locks, but there's no key. So you can't lock it when you leave.
Shinji, sit with me? I request as I take a seat on the couch.
He blushes, doing as I asked, I can't believe all this is happening. he says.
I scoot closer, placing a hand on his warm cheek, turning his gaze to me. His eyes are so blue, like the deepest depths of the ocean, Can I kiss you? I ask.
His cheeks burn red and he closes his eyes as he nods.
I smile and lean forward, using my feet to push closer. Suddenly, I pull back, hissing in pain.
His eyes go wide, What's wrong?
My feet. I say as I position them to where there's no pressure on their injuries.
But... You walked all the way up here... he says, confused.
It's like I'm slowly beginning to feel again. At first I could sense temperatures, now I can sense pain, and I'm beginning to feel the stirring of my insides.
Are... Are you becoming Human? he looks hopeful.
I chuckle, No, Shinji, I will never be Human, but this body is Human, and I'm beginning to understand it like I could my other one.
A few moments pass and suddenly he is blushing again, You... You were going to...
I can feel my face pull into a wide smile as I lean forward again. His lips are warm against mine. How I love this warmth. It's a brief, chaste kiss and I pull back unsatisfied, but there's no need to rush.
His eyes remain shut and I watch as his tongue sneaks out to lick his lips. I wonder how I taste to him.
Misato's going to be home soon. I should get back. he says it with his eyes down cast
Am I to stay here?
He swallows and I watch, amazed with the way his throat moves, It's probably a good idea. At least until I figure out what to do.
I look at him puzzled, and he continues, If anyone knows there's an Angel here... he pauses as if imagining horrible things, They could kill you.
I'm not afraid of death. I say, speaking truthfully.
Yeah... But I am. I don't think I could handle... That again. his voice is barely above a whisper.
We remain silent for a few more moments, Are you hungry? he asks.
I think about it and realize that I am. I am beginning to feel a slight churning in my belly. I nod, Yes, I believe I am.
He rises, I'll bring some food up here. Just... Just stay here, okay? he says it with a pleading in his eyes.
I nod again. I will do as he likes. I am his gift after all, the answer to is prayer. It's like I carry a deep sense within myself... I am his.
He smiles slightly and turns to leave. I reach out rather quickly, taking hold of his wrist. He is surprised, but the expressions smooths, I'm going to lock the door for you. I'll be back.
I nod and reluctantly let go of his wrist. He leaves and I'm left with a sensation on my fingertips... I can still feel his rapid pulse, like a butterfly beating against my hand. It fades and I'm left waiting.
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Shinji:
I step into the kitchen. Misato's not home yet and Asuka's still in her room. I take a seat at the table and let my forehead rest against its cool surface.
What is going on? It's so unbelievable. He's back, just like that.
Kami heard your prayer. I am here for you now.
Kami? I was never even sure I believed. Why was my prayer answered? Was it answered? Is all this real? No, it can't be. I remember so clearly. We were in Terminal Dogma... I'd been so angry, mostly with my father. Then, Kaworu turned out to be an Angel. I felt so betrayed, so angry and betrayed, again, mostly with my father. I wasn't thinking, I didn't realize. Then he told me to kill him, that I should live. Why couldn't we have both lived?
If it was so impossible then... If it's true that Humans and Angels can't coexist, then how is it going to be possible this time? Is this someone's idea of a cruel twist on my life? I can't handle losing him again.
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Misato:
It's quiet when I get home, as it has been lately, I'm home! I call out, heading down the hallway, heading for my room in order to get into some more comfortable clothes. I step into the kitchen and stop in my tracks. Shinji is sitting there, his head resting on the table.
he doesn't respond and I step closer.
I say again, placing my hand on his shoulder.
He scares the shit out of me as he snaps back into reality, jumping up in his seat. I take a seat and watch as he calms down.
Shinji, you've got to talk to me. I say flatly, but he just shakes his head and remains quiet.
What's going on? Asuka asks as she enters the kitchen wearing a pastel yellow tank top and a pair of blue shorts.
Did you two come home together? I ask, watching has the red-haired beauty takes a seat across from me.
She looks a bit confused, No, but I told him I was going with Hikari... I told him to come straight home. Why? What'd you do? she directs the last at Shinji, but he still remains quiet.
Was he home when you got home?
She looks a bit annoyed, but she complies and answers, Yeah, well, I didn't see him, but his shoes were in the hall. Then I heard him leave. Did you just get back? Again the last is directed to Shinji.
Shinji, you've got to talk to me. What am I supposed to think? I say, watching him closely.
He looks up, wipes at his eyes, Nothing. Just don't worry about me. I'm okay.
My eyes go soft and I look at him directly, Please, you've got to talk to me. Don't you know, an answer like that makes me worry even more.
His face hardens and he seems to have made a decision. He rises from his seat, I can't tell you. Just don't worry. and with that he's heading to his room.
What's going on?! Asuka demands.
I sigh, Something's happening with him. I don't know why he thinks he can't talk to me.
Maybe because he's nuts. she mumbles, and I let it slide. She's come so far. The last thing she needs to think is that I favor Shinji over her... Even though it's true.
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It was Shinji's turn to cook and he did an amazing job. Asuka and I were both impressed.
Now we sit at the table, our bowls clean and our stomachs sated. Without a word, Shinji rises and begins preparing what I can only assume is a lunch. Once he's finished, he steps over, I'm going to take this down the hall, okay? I'll be right back.
Before I can even answer he's out the door.
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To be continued...
