Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, Chrono Trigger or Zelda...siiiiiiiiiiigh....
A/N: Well, I meant to have this out by Valentine's Day, but I wasn't really in a dark and scary mood then...and the network was being slow, because of FictionPress...which is pretty cool, so if anyone writes original stuff, go check it out! And NOW-INTRODUCING!!!: Another wild, crazy and insane chapter...SURPRISE! I bet no one saw that coming...thanx for the reviews, you guys rock my world!! Now, go read and write some more reviews! ~CronoCat =^_^=
Chapter Three: The Dark and Scary Chapter
In Hyrule, our cast of characters slept on peacefully. Miles away, in a different game altogether, one man was still awake. Over a bubbling pot he stood, watching at storm rage outside the walls. Lightening flashed, illuminating his sharp, pale features. He looked rather sickly and his skin was practically white-as if he had never seen the natural light of day. His hair was bluish in color and oddly shaped. It was long and seemed greased into a sharp, deadly curve, like the shape of his scythe. He was a dark and scary man.
He lived in a big castle in the middle of nowhere. It was a very dark and scary place. He laughed manically to himself as thunder boomed. It was a dark and scary night. In the flashes of lightening, his scythe gleamed in a deadly-and also dark and scary-way. It was, altogether, a rather dark and scary spectacle.
Now Magus, for this was his name, was feeling really quite bored. "It's all fine and good fun to be dark and scary," he thought, "but it's terribly boring when there's no one to act dark and scary towards."
At that moment, one of his cronies knocked on the door. Magus barked that the door was open and the plump, blue fellow waddled in. He bowed low and gave his report.
"O, Dark and Scary One, My Liege Magus, I bring you new of the Most Ditzy One, Our Beloved Princess Nadia."
At this, Magus' ears perked. Ah, now here was a spot of fun-torturing Marle and her geeky friends. "Go on..."
"I spotted her this afternoon, with He Who Should Still Be A Frog. They were climbing into a strange device shaped a bit like a telephone booth."
"A teleporter...hmm..." Magus muttered to himself and then added to the crony, "where were they?"
"My Liege, there were at the house of She Who Always Wears A Helmet. I overheard them say Helmet Head had gone off with Boy With Really Bad Hat Hair."
Magus nodded thoughtfully, wondering WHO-in the name of all that is evil!-had created these code names! Still, he knew who the crony was talking about and was already beginning to lay out plans in his head. Perhaps he would turn Glenn back into a frog and the others into flies. By the time Glenn realized he had eaten his friends, it would be too late! But before Magus could begin his evil laugh, there was a knock on the door.
"Oh, Magus! Open up-it's me, Ozzie!"
"Lock the door-QUICK!" Magus hissed to the crony. "Uh, don't come in...I'm-" Magus called to Ozzie and tried to think of what he could be doing.
"CHANGING!" The crony piped up.
"CHANGING? Is that the BEST you can come up with? I'm an EVIL MAGE here!! Are you TRYING to ruin my reputation?" Magus hissed and smacked the crony.
The crony cowered in the corner, but was saved from immediate further harm when someone else approached the door.
"Oy, Ozzie! Have you done the laundry yet?" It was Flea, the local transvestite, calling out in a low-pitched voice.
"Um...nooo..."
"Tsk, tsk," sighed Flea. "You're a terrible liar."
"What are you talking about?!" Ozzie demanded.
"Oh, nothing. Say, you wouldn't happened to have stolen anything, would you?"
"N-no..."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOU'RE WEARING MY BRA!" Flea wailed, his voice going up a good two or three octaves.
The crony shuddered and barely managed to keep Magus from gouging his own eyes out with his scythe.
"Oh, great! You STRETCHED IT OUT!! It's HUGE NOW! I can't wear THIS!" Flea went on, but Magus had already escaped out the window. The frantic crony soon discovered he was too fat to fit and was stuck, half in and half out, forced to listen to the rest of the conversation. Although Magus was mostly unharmed, the crony suffered attacks of severe paranoia, a high fever, terrible nightmares from the scarring mental images and also, a long-lasting case of pneumonia, due to the fact that it started raining while he was half out the window.
Magus made his way--very quickly--away from the castle and more importantly, away from Ozzie and Flea. He went to Lucca's house and crept into the back yard. He knew it the minute he saw it-a teleporter!
"Now then..." Magus muttered, climbing inside. He inspected everything carefully. "If I was a stupid spike-haired kid, where would I go...?" Suddenly, he spotted a big, shiny, red button. "Aha!" Magus cried and punched it; there was no doubt in his mind. Crono was, after all, nothing but a mute buffoon and therefore, easily attracted to shiny things in general.
Magus flew through time and space, grateful that he did not develop a severe case of motion sickness. When the world stopped spinning, he found himself lying facedown in the grass. He stood up, dusted himself off and--in the dark--nearly walked right into the giant, stone wall of a castle.
"Well, that was easy." Magus chuckled to himself and walked up to the front gate, still talking, "it's a known fact that any princess, when lost, makes for a castle. And, for that matter, so do frog knights! Because of these well-known truths, it is only a matter of time before I watch Frog eat his own friends! Bwhahahahahahahaha!!!"
The still night air rang with his dark and scary laugh.
And Ganodorf, sitting up in the tower of that same castle, knew instantly that another dark and scary man had come to Hyrule at last!
Ganodorf hobbled down the stairs. He was still rather weak, because he was recovering from the last time Link had killed him. That made four times now, but luckily, Ganodorf was not the kind to be easily discouraged. He would win in the end!
He opened the door, but no one was there. Where was the evil laughter? The night was silent and Ganodorf was disappointed. As he turned to go back inside, he was hit over the head with the flat of Magus's scythe. Magus began to laugh evilly again as Ganodorf fell down.
"Hey! That really hurt!" He exclaimed, sitting back up.
"Shut up, you. You're unconscious!"
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you really are. Be quiet!" Magus commanded and hit him again.
"Ow! Hey-quit it already!"
"Gah! What's wrong with you?"
"I should be asking you that. What gives you the right to barge in and knock me over the head like that?!"
Magus began to smack him over the head repeatedly. "I said, SHUT UP!"
Ganodorf managed to roll away after the third hit. "Look, I don't even know you...maybe we could have tea or something first?" Under his breath he added, "tea with arsenic..."
Magus stopped. "Actually, I'm very thirsty...but first, I'm going to turn you back into a frog!"
"WHAT?!"
"That's rig-hey...you're not Frog! Who the hell are you?"
"I'm not exactly sure, actually..." Ganodorf replied, rubbing his head. "I don't remember anything other than you beating me senseless."
"Oh, sleep it off," Magus brushed him aside. "Now, where are you hiding him? Where is Frog? Or maybe he told you his name was Glenn. So...WHERE IS HE?!"
"I don't know any frogs....or a frog named Glenn. Did you lose your frog?"
Magus hit him once more for good measure, then proceeded to tell his whole story. Dawn found the two villains really drinking tea--without arsenic--and discussing plans for capturing Glenn. It didn't take them long to come up with a plan. And it was a good plan--a DARK AND SCARY plan.....
Well...what do you think? Dark and scary enough for ya? Lol and how 'bout that cliffhanger! heehee...well, that's all for this time! More coming as soon as I figure out what's going to happen next......
