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Cherry Waterfall
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a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic
By: Hatti Lee*
Also known as:
Saiyajin Peach
Saiyajin Peach 18
Amalthea*
Beloved Animosity
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net
Started: 10.2.3
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu
Author's Notes: Okay, I know where I'm going with all of this now! ^_^ Yeah! Anyways... So sorry about taking so long with this chapter! I just totally forgot to update, even though I had it written... I have the next chapter written too. I'll post it in a couple of days, after I get a few reviews. ^_~ Well, enjoy! ^_^
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!
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Chapter X: Love & Hate
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Shinji:
Misato had really filled the cupboards. There was anything and everything I could need. So, when I'd pulled out a cookbook earlier, I chose whatever I liked, keeping Kaworu in mind. The potato salad was done as well as dessert, and hurrying into the kitchen, I see that the main dish is also done.
I switch the oven off and remove the pan, placing it atop the stove. As I'm pulling forth plates and glasses and setting the table, Kaworu enters the room, Ms. Katsuragi's really worried about you.
I sigh, I know, she means well. There's enough space at the table for six, but I set only five places, each with three plates for each dish, a glass filled with green tea, a napkin, and a set of chopsticks.
I look up to see my Angel is smiling, obviously in agreement, and just as I'm about to comment on his good looks, I hear the front door open. Asuka. I let my eyes slip closed and take a deep breath, Kaworu, would you mind telling Misato and Kaji that dinner's ready?
He nods and turns to go about his task just as Asuka enters the room, What's all this? she asks, gesturing to the table. I'm using the nicer dishes normally used for special occasions.
Oh, nothing really. Misato went shopping and Kaji's here... So, I thought I'd try and cook up something nice.
She stares at me for a moment, squinting as if she were trying to see past my eyes and into my mind. If she could, she'd see that I'm truly doing all this for Kaworu.
Oh, hey Asuka. I didn't hear you get home. Misato says as she steps into the room along with Kaji and Kaworu.
Small talk ensues as everyone takes a seat. Misato and Kaji sit beside one another while Asuka sits at an end, the end closest to the hall actually, and closest to her room. I go about serving the main dish. Salmon miso-mayo, a tasty fillet doctored up with onions, shiitake mushrooms, cheese, and of course, miso-mayo paste. Then, I heap a generous portion of potato salad on everyone's second plate. A colorful side dish of potatoes, carrots, onions, and cucumber. A little salt, a little sugar, some egg, and voila. I take my seat besides Kaworu, leaving desert a surprise for last.
Shinji, you've really outdone yourself. Misato's words make me blush and I shrug in reply.
It wasn't that hard, really. I glance to the side to see that my Angel is tasting each little thing as if it were something rare, something he'd only get to eat this once. Every bite is slowly chewed and savored. I'm a bit awed.
The rest of dinner is a bit quiet, someone commenting on the day's events or the food's taste now and then, but all together, everyone is rather silent. I swallow the last bite of my potatoes and rise to get dessert. Rice cakes with strawberries. Along with the traditional neri-an, I placed slices of strawberries in the fold of the cakes and decorated the tops each with a half-sliced strawberry. A simple, yet yummy treat. I'm grinning as I pass them around.
Did you think of this yourself? Misato asks as she lifts her dessert before her as if admiring it.
Well, not really. I read that fruit could be added and since you bought strawberries... I just followed a recipe for the cakes. I explain as I take my seat. Within just a few moments everyone is finished and I'm up again clearing plates and such.
Misato and Kaji are each sipping at a beer, leaning back in their chairs. Asuka seems to be upset. She's unusually silent and keeps her gaze downcast. Kaworu is watching me. I don't have to look at him to know it. I can feel his gaze following me about. I'm fairly sure he enjoyed dinner and I'm glad. I just can't wait until we're alone.
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Misato:
I watch as the Angel's eyes linger on Shinji. Those big red eyes seem utterly transfixed. Kaji's noticed and now we're smiling to one another knowingly. Not so long ago, back in our college days, we used to look at one another in such ways. Kaworu's admiring seems centered on Shinji's body rather than his face, and I think Shinji's noticed. He's blushing like a mad man, trying his best to keep himself occupied.
How about you and me heading over to that little place across the street? Kaji's question pulls my eyes from the boys to him and I smile. The little bar isn't really any good for anything except getting some privacy. They served maybe two brands and that's it, but Kaji and I couldn't very well make-out in front of all these kids.
I nod, Sure. You guys, I'll be back in a little while. The Angel and Asuka nod.
Shinji says as he finishes wiping down the kitchen table.
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Asuka:
I watch as Kaji places his hand against Misato's lower back, guiding her down the hall. I wonder what that touch must feel like. Back in those days, it was Kaji's affections I yearned for. Now it's Shinji's. Strange how the ones I fall in love with always fall for another. I hear the door open and close and now I'm alone with the two of them.
Shinji's standing there looking around for something else to do, something else to keep busy rather then return the Angel's stare. It's not hard to miss. The Angel stares as if he's ready to pounce and fuck Shinji right here on the kitchen table.
My voice is small and weak sounding and I hate it.
He glances up rather suddenly as if surprised that I can speak,
I look up and make eye contact, forcing myself to keep cool and appear in control, Can I talk to you? Alone.
He glances from the Angel to me and back again, but the Angel speaks before Shinji can say a word, It's fine. I'll wait in your room. Seconds later he's up and disappearing down the hall.
I wait until I hear the door close before I begin speaking, I talked to Hikari today.
He seems confused and nervous as he takes a seat across from me, watching as if I were about to spout fire or perhaps grow another head.
I know I've been rude to you for a long time, but my mind's totally screwed up and-
It's okay, Asuka, he interrupts, a smile on his face, You don't have to apologize. I understand how hard all of this must be for you.
I grit my teeth and mentally curse him. It takes a few moments, but eventually I calm myself, I'm not apologizing, Shinji. It's just... I realized something the other day and it's part of the reason why all this makes me so... Irritated.
He looks confused again and I'm pleased. I can handle a confused Shinji. He looks down for a moment and fingers the sleeve of his shirt. When he looks up again I glimpse a sadness in his eyes, something I've seen before, but for some reason it makes my heart ache this time.
That Angel scares the shit out of me, but I'm beginning to see that he doesn't plan on screwing with my mind or killing us all.
A smile creeps onto his face.
But I'm still so angry, and it's you I'm angry at.
he asks, the smile fading, his eyebrows high. Confused again.
The reason I can't handle all of this... It's because, I swallow hard and tense up, I'm in love with you.
His eyes go wide and he just stares. For a moment I think maybe time froze, but then I notice the second hand of a wall clock ticking and then, eventually, Shinji blinks.
The word barley manages passed his lips, he looks so shaken and his voice is hardly a whisper.
I liked you at first, when we first met. Then you beat me so easily and I hated you. And then I really hated you. But slowly I began realizing that I love you. I explain quickly, my voice taking on an almost excited tone.
How can you love and hate someone at the same time? he asks, his eyes still wide.
I shrug and await some kind of response. He just sits quiet though. After a few minutes his eyes return to their normal size and he looks anywhere but at me. He's biting his lip and picking at his nails. The minutes continue to pass.
Say something! I finally say, nearly shouting, the tension having become too much for me.
What do you want me to say? That I love you too? I'm sorry, but I just can't do that. His voice seems stern, a rare tone for him.
My eyes water instantly. As ridiculous as it is, that's exactly what I wanted him to say, Why? You used to like me, you used to stare and drool. Why do you love that Angel and not me?
Shinji sighs, I did like you, Asuka, I liked you a lot, but you were really mean. You hated me. I was just doing what everyone kept telling me to do, and you just kept hating me.
I think maybe the tears are running down my cheeks, but I'm not sure. The anger is taking over and pushing sorrow aside, I was really messed up back then, Shinji! I mean, here I am telling you I love you... Are you choosing an Angel over me?!
He sighs again, slumping in his seat, I would love for us to be friends again, Asuka, like we once were, but even if Kaworu weren't here, I don't think I'd choose you. I just don't love you. I'm sorry.
I rise to my feet, my fists slamming down on the table, Don't be stupid! You're choosing him over me. Why?! I don't understand. My anger reaches it's peak and instantly begins draining out of me, as if someone had just pulled the plug. I slump down and sob.
Shinji doesn't say a word. He simply stands and leaves the room, leaves me to cry on my own. Depressing thoughts press on my mind and my body is racked with convulsions. I have no one. Everyone has someone except for me. I worked up the courage and declared my love and he just refused it as if there were no question what-so-ever about the whole matter. Minutes pass and I realize that soon Misato may return, and I am in no mood to be found in such a depressing state. I move to the quiet privacy of my room where I change and flop into bed. I feel horrible. Hate and humiliation bubble and churn in my mind, and when I finally do find sleep, it is more troublesome than restful.
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Shinji:
Kaworu is lying in bed butt naked, smiling at me. I close the door behind me and step into the peaceful darkness, the lights off, the air still. I feel a calmness here in my private space, and yet, it seems that it's this very calmness that draws forth my frustrations.
Like a child, my throat hitches and at once I'm sobbing. I move quickly to the bed and Kaworu's open arms. He's no longer smiling, his brows drawn together, worry evident on his fine features.
Has something happened? He asks, pulling me closer and closer until I'm forced to move into his lap. Strange, his comfort, as wonderful as it is, makes me cry harder. I pull my knees to me in a fetal position and try my hardest to calm down.
Time passes and eventually my tears run dry, I love you, Kaworu.
His hold on me tightens, What happened?
I sigh, leaning my head against his shoulder, slouching in order to press my cheek to his bare chest, Asuka... She told me she loved me. She wanted me to choose her over you.
Do you love her? His question holds no anger or sorrow. It's calm and nearly clinical.
It scares me and I pull out of his embrace, looking him in the eyes, No. I love you, only you.
He smiles and I can't help but wonder if he's relieved. I lean my head back down and pull his arms around me again, But she was really upset when I told her I didn't love her. I'm scared, Kaworu.
He rests his cheek against my head and I can feel the coolness of his skin through my hair, Are you frightened she'll try to separate us?
I nod against him, All she'd have to do is tell the right people and... It would be over for us. Not to mention her... Kami, if you could have only seen how hopeful she looked! I almost felt sorry for not loving her.
Try not to worry. What happens will happen and we can only be together while we can. His words are soft and I nod in understanding. After all, it's the truth.
After a few moments, I breathe in deep and sigh, finally feeling a little better about the whole situation. Cold hands come to my neck and begin unbuttoning my shirt. I smile and watch those pale hands work as if doing something that had been done a thousand times before. My shirt discarded onto the floor, I slowly turn in my lover's arms, We can't.
Kaworu leans close, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, We'll just have to be quiet.
I swallow and nod. I just can't argue with him, and at this point, I don't care if we're discovered or heard. I want him so bad it aches. Our lips meet and the kiss is far from graceful. My pants and shorts are removed with lustful urgency and they're off before I know what's going on.
Wait, wait. I gasp, my voice breathy in an attempt to keep quiet.
Kaworu stops instantly and watches me carefully for any signs of discomfort or emotional distress.
I rise from the bed and move to the door. Kaworu looks at me strangely and I suspect he thinks I'm about to exit the room in my birthday suit. However, that's certainly not what I have in mind and I flip the light switch on, flooding the room in a soft luminous glow. I'm biting my lip as I return to the bed, I want to see you.
He smiles and pulls me playfully into his arms, Am I so beautiful? he teases, rolling me until he's on top.
I instantly become serious, Hai, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I knew that the first time I met you. He's become serious as well, leaning down to kiss my forehead chastely.
Biting my lip again, I push upwards slightly, maneuvering my weight in order to roll Kaworu onto his back. I'm successful and now I'm looking down at him, his hair tousled, his eyes staring, his lips begging my attention. The kiss is slow and drawn out. I memorize the inside of his mouth with my tongue. I want to memorize all of him. I move down, planting wet kisses along his jaw and down to his neck, resting my tongue over the place his pulse beats strongest. It's like a gentle tapping or perhaps the timed rhythm of a butterfly's wing, beating against the soft, pale flesh. My hard on aches and I groan quietly as I press my groin against his thigh. He lifts his leg somewhat, applying pressure and causing me to lose myself for a moment.
I blink several times and find that my lips are secured to one of his nipples, my teeth gently worrying it while my fingers work with the other. The skin of the pert little nubs is slightly darker but only slightly. Unlike myself, his body is practically hairless with the exception of his head. I run my tongue down the smooth expansion from chest to stomach, pausing to explore his navel. As I dip my tongue into the shallow dip, I think how for myself and others, it was once a source of nourishment and attachment to our mothers while still in the womb. It makes me wonder how Kaworu was created and developed and born. I try to log the questions away for another time.
In the mean time, I find myself worshiping my way further down. The skin beneath his navel is taught and inviting. I linger here, trying to define my lover's fabulous taste. My administrations are halted by the surprise of fingers in my hair, gently pushing downward and the sound of his whispered voice, Nn... Shinji, please... I can't wait much longer.
I nearly grin. My heart fills with happiness at my ability to please my lover. No need to make him wait any longer though. His fingers remain in my hair as I take his erection into my mouth for the first time. I'm not exactly positive what I'm doing, but I take my time and try to remember the things Kaworu did when doing the same deed on myself. I'm forced to hold his hips down and in mere moments he's coming. I swallow and imagine the pearly white liquid mingling with the strawberries from dinner.
He's panting as I pull back, his eyes closed, his arms falling limp to his sides. I am grinning now. His arousal has returned to it's flaccid state and I'm reminded of the erection throbbing between my legs.
It's harder than I thought, trying to keep quiet. Kaworu whispers, his breathing finally returning to normal.
I sit back on my knees and wait for him to regain his composure. Slowly, he sits up and smiles before rolling over onto his stomach. I reach forward and place my warm palms to his ass, sliding the touch up to the small of his back as I move closer. I lean down, my mouth near his ear, Are you sure?
He chuckles,
I remember our first experience. It was raw and wonderful, but I also remember our second time and the added pleasure of lubricant. Though the first time had been completely amazing, I don't trust myself what-so-ever and the last thing I want to do is cause Kaworu pain or discomfort. I quickly move to my closet and retrieve the somewhat large tube from it's hidden place. It had been an embarrassing moment having to purchase it, but it was worth it.
Returning to the bed, I slowly and carefully prepare myself as well as my lover. Being within him is something incredible and I feel as if the sensation will be with me forever. I quickly learn of a secret place that causes Kaworu to clench his fists in the sheets. Now and then a muffled moan escapes his lips and I pray Asuka isn't hearing this. My pleasure escalates and soon I find it more than difficult to keep quiet.
I pick up the pace and moments later I sense him coming again. A tightness envelopes me and seconds later I too am coming. I collapse atop my lover, utterly exhausted, I breathe, pushing myself over and to the side to lie beside him.
He turns somewhat, his eyes half-lidded with passion as mine surely are, Shall we get some sleep? He whispers after a minute or two.
I nod, leaning up just enough to pull a sheet and a thin blanket up over us, the light above us left on.
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Asuka:
It's been two days since I last spoke with Shinji and every night after I've lied awake in my room listening to the sounds of their hushed love making. I can stand it no longer. I know I told Misato I'd stay quiet, but I just can't anymore. If it's true what Shinji said... That he wouldn't have me even if there weren't anyone else, then I'll just have to live with that, but that doesn't mean I can sit by while he's with another. If he can stand the presence of an Angel, why can't he stand me? I know it doesn't make much sense, but if Shinji won't have me, he won't have anyone else either. I've made up my mind.
I know Shinji hasn't been keeping track with things involving his father and the rest of the Nerv personnel, and I'm glad for it. I've always been slightly interested in it all, and since the end of Nerv, Misato's let me in on a few key things that happen now and then.
Misato let this one little detail slide though. I got the mail this morning and allowed myself to peek into my guardian's unmarked envelope. A letter concerning Gendo Ikari. Bingo.
Something about the instruments and what not going haywire lately. I quickly reread the letter. Seems their computers have been slightly off, reacting to something. They go on to ask Misato to return in order to help in research. I know already she'll decline so there's no need to worry about getting the letter to her. And then I'm shocked to see that the address looks familiar... The city! This new organization is located in the Shin Section! The letter is signed with a stamp: Government Science & Research Lab. And beneath that there's a signature: Gendo Ikari.
I'm utterly amazed. When I took the envelope this morning, I didn't look at it so closely, just figured it as a start to my search. However, fate, it seems, has lain everything out before me. All I need do now is go there.
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Kaji:
Hey, you look wiped out. I say as I approach the benches conveniently placed between two buildings in a little paved clearing.
The long legged beauty sitting there alone glances up and forces a smile, Didn't get much sleep last night. She says through a sigh, sucking at a cigarette.
I move to sit beside her, placing my hand on her bare knee, Whose the new man?
She laughs and I feel my heart lift, Kaji... No, it's just that...
I smile knowingly, The boys at it again?
She laughs again, sighing, Yeah. I can tell they're trying to keep quiet, but Kami... I never imagined Shinji making those noises.
I make a face, rather disliking the image in my head, I feel sorry for you.
She looks up rather suddenly, placing her hand over mine, No. I'm happy for him. I'd just like to get some sleep.
You could always come stay at my place. I whisper, leaning in to place a chaste kiss in the shell of her ear.
She pulls back, placing a finger to my chest and gently pushing me back, I really wouldn't get any sleep then!
I'm laughing now,
A few moments pass, I bum a cigarette from her, finding intimacy in the way she moves close to light it for me. I decide to break the news at this moment, Have you heard?
Her piercing eyes flick to mine, Her tone is all at once serious and frightened.
He's in Tokyo along with several other former Nerv employees, researching nonsense mostly, but some of their equipment started acting up lately. They sent out letters to you, Ritsuko, and a few others.
Her eyes are wide, I didn't get a letter.
I shrug, Whether or not you're getting your mail isn't the issue here. I know they don't know about Kaworu, but they suspect Angel activity. Gendo's pushing for more funds.
Her eyes are shaken, glancing about nervously, No, that's not true. The government dismissed all Angel research after the Seventeenth Angel.
I gently rest my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to both calm and comfort her, No, they didn't. There are a few instruments left to monitor anything remotely similar to Angel activity 24/7.
She jerks away and turns to glare at me, And when were you planning to tell me that?!
Seconds later she's on her feet, pacing nervously. I rise as well, Katsuragi, get a grip! What difference would it have made?
Tears well up in her eyes, Maybe if they move. The States! Surely they'd be safer there. She's standing before me now, her hands gripping my forearms, staring at me with hope and fear.
I shake my head, No, they can't run or hide from this. I suggest you just keep quiet and let them be happy while they can.
The tears are free flowing now and her body goes limp so suddenly that I find myself on my knees, cradling her against me, she sobs, He's been through so much. Why can't life ever work out for him?
I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, trying the best I know how to ease her sorrow.
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To be continued...
