...........................
Cherry Waterfall
...........................
a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic
By: Hatti Lee*
Also known as:
Saiyajin Peach
Saiyajin Peach 18
Amalthea*
Beloved Animosity
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net
Started: 10.2.3
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu
Author's Notes: Later in this chapter I insert some song lyrics for no good reason really. But, for those of you who are interested, the song is Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. Well, enjoy the chap!!!! ^_^
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!
...........................
Chapter XI: A Whisper On The Wind
...........................
Misato:
The house is quiet when I get home. It's kind of late. I stayed after work to talk more with Kaji. My eyes are still puffy but I doubt the kids will notice.
What would you do if I were to die?
My eyes go wide. That was Kaworu's voice! I tiptoe to the living room, glancing in to see the boys lying together on the couch, shirtless, arms wrapped about one another. They both appear calm and content.
What do you mean? Shinji asks, his head tilting up to look at his lover. I follow the gaze and I'm shocked to see Kaworu looking right at me. Quickly, I pull myself from the doorway and remain out of sight.
If I were to die... What would you do? Kaworu says, repeating his question. I know he saw me, but he says nothing of it. I remain there, leaning against the wall, unknowingly holding my breath.
Then I hear Shinji's voice, I'd die.
I let out my breath in a quivering sigh. So intense! I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. No! I will not cry! I step forward and set my stuff down on the kitchen table, taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself.
I'm home. I finally say, listening as feet come closer.
Hey, you're home late. You hungry? Kaworu and I already ate. Shinji's smiling and he looks utterly beautiful.
I nod, Is Asuka home?
He too nods, Yeah, but she didn't eat. She's been really quiet today, even in school. His expression is glum and I see a twinkle of guilt in his eyes. He shakes his head though and looks away as he moves to retrieve something from the refrigerator.
I take a seat and Kaworu sits diagonal from me, Did something happen? I ask.
Shinji places a bowl in the microwave, She... She told me she loves me. He says, whispering.
My eyes widen. No! I can't believe it! First one thing, then another! Poor Asuka. I sensed she had feelings for Shinji long ago, but since... Everything, I assumed they no longer existed.
Shinji moves to take a seat across from me, pushing the bowl and a beer across the table, Here you go, it's just a noodle casserole.
I nod my thanks and eat in silence. Now and then a word is passed between Kaworu and Shinji, but on a whole the room remains rather quiet. Eventually, I'm finished with my meal and I look up to see that Shinji's still smiling, Well, we're going to get to bed. He says, the two of them rising from their seats.
I say, causing both of them to stop and turn, Kaworu, can I talk to you?
The Angel glances to Shinji first, as if asking for permission. Shinji nods, still smiling, and turns to go to his room. I watch carefully as the light-haired boy takes a seat near me, politely waiting for me to start.
I sigh, You know, don't you?
He smiles, I have for some time. Lilim technology is rather amazing. I didn't doubt that they'd discover me sooner or later.
But what about Shinji? I ask, my voice, although hushed, sounding more than desperate.
You heard moments ago, didn't you? He said he will die if I die.
You can't go by that. He doesn't understand the situation, and even if his death is the ultimate outcome of your death, how much suffering will he endure first? It sounds like I'm begging and I'm not sure I care. I'm leaning forward, my eyes pleading with his for some sort of solution.
True, but Shinji wished me here in the first place. His prayer was heard and he got what he wanted despite what the results may be. His words are calm and quiet but oh so harsh to my ears.
Tears threaten my eyes again, I just don't know what to do. I sob, my hands going over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.
He smiles and leans forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. His touch is cool, nearly cold. I wonder how Shinji can take the strange temperature of the Angel's skin during their love making. Suddenly, however, I feel a sort of peace settle over my mind and I yank back, What are you doing? He doesn't answer, Don't mess with my mind. My voice is stern.
His smile fades slightly, Do not worry Ms. Katsuragi, this was Shinji's choice. Although it may not seem like it, this is what he wants. He's happy. You should be happy as well. He waits a few moments to see if I have anything else to say, but I can think of nothing. In all honestly, there's nothing to say.
He rises from his seat, bows slightly and turns to go, Could you please tell Shinji to come here. I say, my voice barely a whisper.
He pauses for a moment but does not turn,
I'm left alone and I'm thankful for it. I try to gather my thoughts, wondering if the Angel is in fact going to send Shinji in here as I asked. What on Earth should I say though? I think Kaji's right, I should let them be happy with whatever time they have left, but the Angel knows. Will Kaworu tell Shinji? And then, will Shinji in turn be angry with me for not speaking up? I shake my head, this is no time to worry about myself and whether or not anyone will be mad at me. I sigh. I won't say anything. It's not my fault Kaworu knows, and if he thinks it's necessary, he'll tell him. If not, all the better for Shinji. The poor boy needs as much time to be happy as possible.
Sure enough, I hear feet and turn to see Shinji approaching, a deep blush staining his cheeks. He and Kaworu must have had a moment, Hey, Misato... Is everything okay? He asks, sitting across from me.
I smile and nod, Yeah... It's just that, well... I know you and Kaworu are close and I was thinking the two of you would like a night away. I'm not sure if he catches my drift until I notice the blush furthering.
I smile, It's cool out tonight... I was thinking the two of you would like to spend the night somewhere. I could get you a hotel-
He interrupts me, No, there's a place I know of where we could stay. His smile is broad and it lightens my heart. The poor boy. All this time we've spent together, I think of him like a son. It breaks my heart to think what his future holds. I want him to be happy though, and I want him to be able to be with Kaworu without the worries of Asuka or myself interrupting or disrupting.
I cock my head to the side, my eyebrows drawing together,
His smile stays as he rises from his seat, Can we go tonight? I promise to come back in the morning to have breakfast and go to school.
His voice seems a bit urgent and I can't help but chuckle, Sure. Just be careful out there okay.
He nods and hurries off to his room.
...........................
Kaworu:
Shinji practically bounces into the room, Misato suggested we go somewhere for the night! He says in an excited yet hushed voice, I was thinking the apartment upstairs... What do you think?
I smile, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on my lover's forehead, It sounds delightful.
Shinji grins before beginning his hurried packing. He grabs blankets and pillows and clothes, stuffing them rather forcefully into a duffel bag. I watch in amusement as he tries his hardest to zip it up with no success. He sighs and then his eyes light up as if he's thought of something nearly forgotten. I watch as he turns to the closet, retrieving the tube of lubricant hidden there. I can't help but smile.
I guess that's everything. He says, hefting the large bag onto his narrow back.
I nod and seconds later we're heading down the hall. We bid Ms. Katsuragi goodbye and I detect the strongest of sorrows seeping from her pores. I know the relationship between her and Shinji is much like that of a mother and her child, but there is nothing she can do... Except this. I believe it's her way of offering Shinji a last minute happiness. I can't blame her, and in all honesty, I appreciate it. The ordeal we'll have to endure will be a strain on our hearts and a night to reinforce them will help undoubtedly.
We take the elevator to the top floor. The apartment is unlocked and once inside, Shinji locks it. The air is cool and still and I feel welcome here. The large chunk missing from the living area's ceiling is a wonder to behold. The night is bright and above a nearly full moon shines with a natural radiance new to even me. The sky itself is a sort of indigo, dotted with only a handful of twinkling stars. I glance to my right to find that Shinji's dropped the bag and is now admiring the view as well. I smile. He is so right for me, and I tell him so.
He smiles, Let's move the bed in here.
The task isn't an easy one, but we have it done soon enough. Seconds later the bedding is unpacked and thrown on the bed along with our naked forms, our clothes discarded wherever. We both lie on our backs, staring up at the beauty before us.
I always think of you when I see the moon. Shinji says, his voice small and breathy like it usually is after sex, however, we have yet to have sex.
I turn my head and look at my lover, Why is that?
You glow like that and you're pale like that. He says, his words aren't the most elegant, but I still feel moved. When I had spotted this particular moon, I'd thought it's luster beautiful.
I smile, Even this bright moon reminds me of you? I ask, teasingly, openly fishing for compliments.
He doesn't smile, That day... When I killed you... I guess cause you were using your... Powers, or whatever, you were glowing like that. I always wonder how I'd been able to destroy something so beautiful. A few tears leaks down from my lover's eyes and I watch, marveled.
Kaworu, why did you ask me what I'd do if you were to die? His voice is shaky and I can tell he's trying to control himself, trying to keep from breaking down and sobbing.
I turn and lean up on my elbow, looking down at my love, It may happen soon. I whisper, watching as his composure melts and his expressions bunches and the tears free flow.
He sniffs, But... I thought we'd be together forever.
I lean down quickly, placing my hands on either side of his face, And we will love.
He visibly calms, I don't understand.
Death is not the end, Shinji. Kami gave to you for all your suffering me, and he can't and won't take me back from you. Though death may come for us, we won't be separated. My voice is serious, almost stern, and he listens, really listens.
But if one of us dies and the other doesn't-
I interrupt him, my voice much softer now, That's the only way. If our love isn't strong enough... If you don't die when I die, it will be like you're throwing Kami's gift back in his face and he will not let us be together after that.
I see realization dawn in his eyes and a smile graces his face, You don't have to worry about that.
I smile as well, leaning down further and placing my lips upon his, letting our emotions pass between us. I lick away his tears and move to pleasure him further with my tongue. Our love making is slow and deep, intense with our need to become one, to feel one another fully. We come together in every way possible, his body heat warming the both of us.
During a moment while we are resting, we hear a sound coming from below. It's music. The base is deep and strong and thruming like a gigantic heart. Drums speed the beat up only slightly, simply ensuring blood flow.
Someone's really got their stereo loud. Shinji whispers, almost like he doesn't want to disturb this wonderful sound.
I close my eyes and move against my love, my lips finding his as if they were a part of myself. Then there's a voice in the music, a young man's voice, and it's sexy as hell.
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
The music comes to life with the sounds of a guitar talentedly dancing and spiraling upward. My movements speed up and I find myself wanting to be inside Shinji while this song is playing. The music slows to it's previous state and as do I.
And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear,
But that's what I'll do
The words don't really mean anything to me. They're meaningful of course, but just as interesting as many other things. That's not what appeals to me though. The young man's voice speaks them with such honesty and truth, and he really means what he says. He's not just reading the lyrics or saying words he's long since memorized for the sake of the music industry. It's pure, and it's perfect.
And I'm bleading, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me and I will think
No more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me to go back home
Seconds later the music is at it's fast pace again and I find that I am too. The song ends and I'm coming, Shinji having come moments ago. I droop, my body limp like a plucked flower, draping over my lover.
Shinji's laughing, I guess you liked that song.
I can't help but laugh as well, Hai, I have always loved music.
He wraps his arms and legs around me, trying to attain as much contact as possible, perhaps even trying to merge his being with mine, I love you, Kaworu. I love you so much it hurts.
I kiss his forehead, a sloppy wet kiss, I know.
The rest of the night is spent making love and worshiping one another's bodies. We use up all the lubricant, the empty tube thrown across the room as we move to come together without it. The tenant below continues to play all sorts of glorious music, but nothing like that first song. I don't believe I'll ever forget it.
And just before the sun rises, Shinji falls asleep in my arms, his body utterly exhausted. However, he'd instructed me to wake him come morning, and so I place my hands upon his shoulders, shaking gently.
My love, you must wake. It's morning. My words are gentle and even when I make them stern, they don't work. I resort to pressing my mind against his in an almost discomforting manner.
His eyes blink open, What's going on?
I smile, It's morning.
He gazes up at the sky to confirm my statement, I guess we better go have breakfast then.
I nod and we both move to clothe ourselves.
...........................
Misato:
I'm up early for a change and even more suprising is that I don't have to be. I don't go to work until later. I prepare an easy breakfast: Instant ramen. Just about the only thing I know how to make.
I smile to Asuka and she looks at me strangely as she accepts her breakfast. Her behavior just isn't normal though. Usually she'd compain and gripe about one thing or another, always grumpy in the mornings, but she's silent. She doesn't even ask where Shinji is or tell me goodbye as she rises from the table and leaves. Not a word.
I'm somewhat baffled but let it slide. Shinji mentioned Asuka confessing her love. Surely Shinji had to refuse her. No doubt she's just feeling rejected. Once everything calms down, I need to remember to sit down and talk to her.
Speaking of Shinji, the front door's opened and he steps into the room, still smiling. He and Kaworu accept their breakfast happily and eat it all, each of them taking seconds. I can't help but grin. They must have used up a lot of energy. As I clear the plates I listen to their small talk. My heart aches with the cuteness of it.
You better get going if you don't want to be late. Asuka left already. I say as I return to the table.
Shinji sighs and rises, Yeah, I guess so. See ya when I get back. He says, the last bit directed to Kaworu.
I watch in total awe as Shinji leans over and places a chaste kiss upon the Angel's lips. They smile at one another and then Shinji's heading for the door. Moments later and Kaworu and myself are alone in the apartment.
Is there anything you need? I'm going to be here for a while, I don't leave for work until one. I say, watching as the boy turns his full attention to me. His movements are so strange, like liquid. It reminds me of the way oil moves amongst water.
His smile is wide, his eyes narrowed in happiness. He shakes his head, No thank you. I'm going to head back upstairs and wait for Shinji to get home.
I ask, a little confused. Then I realize that's where the two of them must have spent last night.
He says nothing, only smiles further, and I know he's thinking of last night, You've got nearly eight hours to wait... Are you sure there isn't anywhere you need to go or something you need? I ask again, making my offer clear.
He cocks his head to the side, Are you going shopping?
I lean back in my chair and nod.
His smile fades somewhat as he thinks it over, May I come along?
I nod again, Sure. Let me go get dressed though. I say as I rise from my seat. I gulp down the last of my coffee before starting off down the hall. I would just die before I'd go out in daisy dukes and a tank top.
Will we be home before Shinji? I have to be here when he gets back.
I stop and turn, smiling at the love struck boy, Yeah. I have to be at work at one, so that means I gotta be here by twelve at least. Don't worry. I wait until his smile returns before I head on down the hall to my room.
...........................
Shinji:
I make it in time and I'm seated long before the morning bell sounds.I'm thankful for it. I don't know if I could handle another scene in front of the class. I glance over to see that all my friends are present... Toji, Kensuke, Hikari... But where's Asuka? Misato said she'd left before me. Then why isn't she here yet? My brows furrow and I wonder at where the red-head could be. I shrug it off though.
...........................
First half is long and boring and I find myself doodling the time away, thinking mostly of Kaworu, of his thin lips and his strong hands. My pencil scratches across the paper creating a number of hearts and arrows and wings and hands. I try my hand at drawing my lover's eyes, but I fail miserably. Maybe if I had something red. As I turn to quietly dig through my satchel, the bell sounds and I nearly jump out of my seat, knocking my spiral off my desk and spilling half the contents of my bag.
Kami, Shinji... Why so jumpy? Kensuke teases as he kneels to help me gather my things.
Toji tromps over and lifts my purple spiral from the floor, the page I was working on flipping open, What's this? He asks, his eyebrows shooting up.
Oooh! I know, this is that guy you were with at the dance! Isn't it? It is, isn't it?
My cheeks are burning and I remain silent as I reach for the notebook.
Toji, don't be so mean! Hikari scolds, yanking my spiral from her boyfriend's hands. She doesn't hand it over though, instead she stops and looks at my doodling.
We're the only one's left in the room except for two girls in the opposite corner busily gossiping. I swallow and glance nervously to the floor.
It's true then. She whispers, seemingly talking to herself. I remain silent and wonder what all Asuka told her. She reaches forward and returns my spiral and I quickly stuff it in my satchel.
Am I missing something? What guy at the dance? Kensuke says breaking the silence.
The Tanabata Dance... Shinji took this albino guy as a date. Toji explained as we all headed for the roof.
While the three of them sat on a bench, I walked to the edge and leaned against the railing. It really didn't seem like we were very far up, but I knew if I fell, I'd be dead.
Shinji, you're gay? Kensuke's voice is laced with wonder and disbelief. I simply shrug.
Well, why didn't you tell us? He goes on to ask.
Yeah, why don't you introduce us to the guy? Toji adds.
I turn, a smile on my lips, I should. He'd like that.
Ahh! Our Shinji's in love! Look at that face! They call out in unison, their teasing continuing for another five minutes while I stand by and blush. I'm glad for it. If only things could stay this way for always, but my mind is weighted... It's likely my Angel may perish soon and that means I will too.
Hikari, after finishing her neat little lunch, speaks up, What's his name?
I blink back into reality, Huh? Oh... Kaworu. Kaworu Nagisa.
She smiles only slightly, Do you love him?
At first I think she's teasing, but I quickly realize she's not. Toji and Kensuke catch on as well and they seem to be patiently awaiting a serious answer to her question. I can't help but blush,
Another five minutes of teasing and pestering and we're back to finishing up lunch. There are only a few minutes left in lunch and just having realized this, Toji and Kensuke are busily scarfing down their meals, which leaves Hikari and I to talk as she comes to stand by me near the rail.
You're not going to eat? She asks.
I shrug, I didn't have time to make a lunch. No big deal.
she says, her voice suddenly becoming low and serious, I know everything about Kaworu, Asuka told me. Are you sure you know what you're doing?
I sigh, turning my gaze out towards the city, He's the only thing that makes me happy. And it seems to work the other way around too. So, I don't really care what he is.
She nods, I understand, but are you sure he's not dangerous?
I turn to look at her now, No. I'm not really sure about anything except the way I feel, and I'd risk it all to stay the way I feel now.
Has Asuka talked to you yet?
I give her a questioning look, not exactly positive on what she's refering to.
She rolls her eyes, Did she tell you how she feels?
My expression softens instantly, Yeah, but I just don't feel that way for her... I mean, she's always hated me.
She nods, I understand, but... Well, do you think that's why she's not here today?
I guess. She didn't take it too well. I mumble, leaning over further, resting my chin upon my hands upon the railing.
Hey! What are you two talking about over there? Toji asks, his voice loud and playful, Well, I guess I don't have to worry about you stealing my girl do I, Shinji?
Oh shut up. Hikari grumbles playfully.
You guys! I think the bell already rang! Kensuke calls and in a rush they're all hurring to the door to downstairs. I can't help but smile. My friends. I'm glad to have them. I start for the door but stop when I hear a whisper on the wind.
It's not really a sound, but a sensation, a tickle in my soul. I move closer to the rail again, leaning out as if straining to hear. I feel it again, cool fingers dipping down into me and caressing me from the inside out. Kaworu. I smile and close my eyes, experimenting, trying to warm that beautiful essence with my Human being.
Hey! Shinji, what are you doing?! The warning bell's gonna go off any second now! Toji's voice breaks my concentration and I blink for a few seconds. What was that? Before my thoughts go much further, I hear the bell sound.
Shit! Now we're late. Are you happy? Toji grabs my arm and practically drags me toward the door and down the stairs. Moments later I'm chuckling at his anger, unable to hide my amusement. Plus, I suddenly have such a good feeling in myself. The class looks at us like we're nuts when we enter laughing our heads off.
...........................
To be continued...
