A/N: Well, here I am--back again! YAAAAAY! Sorry about the wait--I've been under a lot of school stress...blah. Anywho. This chapter is rather random (was there ever one that wasn't?!) but I hope you'll review and all that jazz. You guys are the best!! Thanks to luccamajere26 (I love the way Crono can't speak old English!), Imania (actually...I don't know what they're up to either. hehe, any ideas?), HellHades (thank you!! I'm really glad you're enjoying my...oddness) and of course, Dr. Skipping-out-on-me-to-go-on-spring-break (I mean...Dr. Lauryl...oh well, I forgive ya!) Thanks again! Don't forget to review!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Not much has changed since the last chapter...I still haven't earned massive amounts of money and bought out Squaresoft. So, surprise, surprise, I still don't own anything here but the plot and out of character characters! ^_^ Does that make sense?

Chapter Five: In Which Marle and Navi *Attempt* to Fend for Themselves

Crono, Glenn and Lucca started walking when suddenly, Crono stopped.

"Hey, wait a second...wait about Marle?!"

"She's here too?" Lucca cried.

"She came with me," Glenn answered. "Then she ran off into the night. Mayhap she hath gotten lost?"

"Wouldn't surprise me..." Lucca groaned. "Oh, that bubblehead!"

Crono rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "She said something about men being pigs and then ran away."

"Well, why didn't you go after her?"

"We had to save you!" Crono replied promptly.

Lucca sighed. "Which direction did she run off in?"

Immediately, both Glenn and Crono pointed in opposite directions.

"GAH! Can this be more frustrating?!" Lucca cried.

"Crono! Thy arm 'tis pointing the wrong direction. I'm positive that Marle went that direction."

"Shut up, Glenn. She's my girlfriend. I'm sure I was paying more attention!"

"Ha! Thou was immersed in creating a rope out of GRASS!" Glenn yelled angrily.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"

"NO!" Both Lucca and Glenn yelled. Crono backed away, covering his ears. Honestly. He sighed; his friends simply did not recognize an ingenious plan when they saw one.

"Mayhap Marle lurk neigh? Let us search the environs..." Glenn suggested.

Lucca rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Glenn-I doubt wherever Marle is that she's lurking..."

Glenn blushed slightly. "I'll just go search over YONDER!" He called and ran off, his two friends close at his heels.

As they ran, Lucca turned to Crono thoughtfully. "Didn't Glenn say almost that exact same line once before?"

"Um...maybe...Once he starts talking like that, I never pay any attention," Crono admitted.

"You and Marle must be destined for each other," Lucca sighed.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing..." Lucca responded, thinking to herself: wow--they're both ditzy!

****

MEANWHILE...ELSEWHERE...

"I'm hungry!" Marle whined.

Navi buzzed around her head impatiently. "Go out and find something to eat then..."

Grumbling, Marle walked out of the cave and started looking for food. Some she came across a strange three-leafed plant. "Hmm...this looks edible..."

Using a dagger Crono had given her for her last birthday, she gathered up some of the vegetation and scooped it into her quiver. Then she carried it all back to the cave and made Navi gather sticks.

"Oh, yay," Navi cried sarcastically. "Cooked plant!" But she went out all the same and got the sticks. The two of them threw the sticks and logs in a big pile and looked for a way to start a fire.

"God! Every time I try, the wood just won't light!" Marle complained.

"It's soaking wet..." Navi said, holding up a dripping twig.

"Stupid water magic."

"Well...what now? Got a match?"

"No. You?"

"What? Do I look like a smoker to you?!" Navi cried in frustration.

Marle giggled. "I guess I have to say no, but only because a cigarette is bigger than you!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"All right, all right. Forget it. What did you find to eat?" Navi sighed.

Marle smiled brightly. "Plants! Hope you're a vegetarian."

"Bah!" Navi groaned. "Mm...man, I could really go for some red meat right about now."

"Eeww..." Marle made a face. "I thought fairies were supposed to be all springy and sunshiney and um...really in tune with nature."

"I'm all those things," Navi insisted.

"But...if fairies make the flowers bloom and stuff...it just seems weird for them to be eating meat."

"Well, obviously you just don't know anything about the fine, inner-workings of a fairy's mind," Navi said snobbishly.

Marle made a face. "Obviously not." She sighed and turned her attention back to the plants. "Well...shall we eat?"

They were just about to pick up the plants when they heard a loud crashing sound coming towards them. Marle's eyes widened in surprise and she covered her mouth to keep from screaming. What if it was a huge, monster bat coming to eat her?! She began to tremble. What if it tried to suck her blood or got tangled up in her hair?! She moved one hand to cover her pony-tail and the other to cover her neck. But then, she couldn't keep a hand over her mouth and she screamed loud enough to shatter glass. Beside her, Navi fell to the ground, covering her ears. Was this the end?! Would Marle ever see her home again?! She shrieked loudly in terror. This also worked well as a self-defense mechanism since her voice was high-pitched enough to cause someone to have a concussion.

"Hearken! Thou hearest that?"

"Ow...um, what did you just say, Glenn? I can't hear a thing..."

"Must be Marle! I'd recognize that beautiful voice anywhere!"

"Bitten by one too many love bugs in the ear, eh Crono?"

"Mayhap the knave hath been forced to always say nice things about his lady-love."

"Ooo! Like a mind spell!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of her royal tantrums," Glenn commented dryly, his old English way of talking disappearing for a moment.

Marle jumped happily out of the cave and bounded through the bushes. "CRONO!" She cried, throwing her arms around him.

"Hey, Marle! We've been looking for you," Lucca said, smiling.

"Shall we move homewards, milady Marle?" Glenn asked rather sarcastically.

Marle stuck her tongue out at him, but managed to it in as ladylike a way as possible. Then she remembered the fairy. "NAVI!" She screeched and darted back into the cave.

Glenn and Lucca looked at each other nervously. "Has she been alone too long?" Lucca asked.

"Mayhap thy friend hath invented a language of her own device."

"Mayhap...hehe, I mean maybe." Lucca giggled and followed Crono through the foliage to the cave.

They found Marle sitting on the ground crying. She was holding what appeared to be a doll in her hands. Crono eyed her nervously, then hesitantly put a hand on Marle's shoulder.

"Oh, Crono...is she dead?!" Marle wept, remembering all the fun times she and Navi had had together. (A/N: what fun times?! Marle's just being a drama queen--as usual. ^.^)

"Um..." Crono began expertly. He wasn't exactly a doctor.

"Is that a...fairy in thy hands?! She appears to be breathing, Marle. Dry your tears...see? Her chest hath begun to move up and down again."

Instead of cheering up, Marle spun around, glaring daggers at the knight. "You PERVERT!" She screamed. "How dare you look at her chest?! Taking advantage of her just because she's unconscious and small!"

Glenn turned bright red and tried to explain--he really had meant nothing save to calm his friend down. It had never occurred to him that he shouldn't comment on such matters. He excused himself quickly from the cave.

"Geez, Marle. That's not what he meant!" Lucca cried. "He was just trying to help."

"He can't help! NO ONE can help!" Marle wailed. Crono back away nervously.

"Oh, come on now. I'm sure the fairy will be all right..."

"Not unless you know Fairy CPR!" Marle said, a fresh wave of tears running down her face.

Lucca held up her hands-a help-me sort of gesture. "Crono do something!" She implored. Marle turned to look at Crono too, a begging look in her eyes.

Crono shrugged. "I'm...er...I'm hardly experienced in the area of fairies..."

Marle suddenly remembered why she had run away--men were pigs. And this was more proof! Look how men responded to a creature in need!! "Out! Get out!" She cried angrily, jumping to her feet and dropping Navi to the floor. (A/N: such a good caretaker, ne?)

"Hey!" Lucca cried, interrupting the beginnings of a fight. "What's this?" She nudged the plants on the floor with the tip of her boot.

"Our breakfast," Marle said prissily, rushing over to gather it up and take it away from Lucca. Lucca threw her arm out to keep her best friend back.

"Have you already touched this?" She demanded.

Marle stopped, bewildered. "Yes...no! No..." She said.

Lucca sighed. "Which one?"

"No. I used a dagger and caught the stalks in my quiver, okay?"

"Good. Were you...really going to eat this?" Lucca questioned, pinching one of the plants between two sticks and lifting it up.

Marle's chin went up. "Yes."

The corner of Lucca's lip twitched and there was a strange gleam in her eye. "Don't ever become a biologist, Marle. I'd hate for you to advise anyone to eat poison ivy."

***

Outside the cave, Glenn sulked. It was rude to refer to a lady's chest, but something had to be done to console Marle. Although he often didn't acknowledge it, he would have hated to see something bad happen to Marle. This was mainly because she was part of the royal family, but also because she was, oddly enough, his friend. He leaned up against a tree, sighing. The woods out here were beautiful. From inside the cave he could hear Marle screaming 'pigs!' again. He pulled a small book out from under his cloak and began to read. He was so immersed in it that he never saw the net flying towards him. He didn't think to cry out until it was pulled tight and he found himself being dragged along the forest floor. And when poor Glenn finally did call out to his friends, Marle happened to scream at the same time. Stupid melodramatic tomboy Princess, thought Glenn and blacked out.

A/N: Duh dun dunnnn!! *scary music* What will happen next? Hehe--hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I sense it's time for another DARK AND SCARY chapter! *more scary music!* Until next time! ~CronoCat =^_^=