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Cherry Waterfall
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a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic
By: Hatti Lee*
Also known as:
Saiyajin Peach
Saiyajin Peach 18
Amalthea*
Beloved Animosity
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net
Started: 10.2.3
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu
Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. No excuses. It's been written for days, I've just been lazy. Again, sorry. The next one should be up soon. Enjoy!
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!
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Chapter XIV: Good News
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Kaji:
Katsuragi and I enter her apartment and head into the kitchen to find Shinji coming down the hall, slightly out of breath.
Hi, I was thinking we could all have dinner tonight. Katsuragi says to him, smiling as she removes her jacket.
I notice a sadness flicker over his features. I suspect he's thinking of the last time I was here for dinner, when Kaworu had also been here, Hey, are you cold? I ask, trying to change the subject. I'd instantly noticed his clothes, It's pretty warm in here, maybe you're coming down with something. I suggest.
A different expression comes over him, surprise perhaps. I'd almost describe it as fear, fear of being caught. I let it slide though. The poor kid has enough on his mind.
Katsuragi hurries over to him though, my statement obviously worrying her, It's because you're hardly eating. She mutters, placing her hand to his forehead, Well, you don't have a fever. She then lifts his arm and places her fingers to his wrist. I notice that Shinji doesn't pull away from her touch like he once would, however, his eyes seem a bit worried, he's glancing about as if willing her away.
She sighs, You seem okay. Anyway, what would you like for dinner? We can have anything, and Kaji's here.
He shrugs, I'm not really hungry.
As if on cue, his stomach rumbles and I smile, Sounds like your stomach says otherwise. I say, watching as he squirms.
Come on, Shinji, Katsuragi pleads, Do this for me? You've got to eat something.
He sighs, nodding, and I think he's doing it just to get her off his back. I hear the front door open and watch as Shinji moves into the living room.
Asuka steps into the room, Oh, Kaji, I didn't know you were coming over. She says, her voice seeming a bit too cheerful to me.
I smile, Last minute idea.
She smiles in return before turning to Katsuragi, Are you cooking?
My violet-haired beauty smiles, nodding.
Asuka groans, Let me know when it's ready. And with that she's heading for her room.
What's her problem? I ask, confused.
Katsuragi leans against the table, She's been avoiding Shinji. I think she's trying to play this off, trying to forget that it's all her fault.
My eyebrows draw together, But it isn't all her fault.
She sighs, I know, but that's what she thinks. I need to talk to her. A few moments pass and then she's standing up straight, Well, let me go change and I'll start cooking. How about you go wait with Shinji in the living room?
I smile,
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Shinji and I are sitting together in silence when Katsuragi steps into the room, It's ready.
We both rise and move into the kitchen. Asuka's already there, sitting at the end nearest the hall. Katsuragi and I sit beside one another, and Shinji sits across from me. Surprisingly, my lover's managed to cook up a fairly decent meal consisting of fried swordfish, mixed rice, French beans with sesame seeds, and for dessert, green tea cake. Impressive for Katsuragi. In fact, all of us stare in awe for a few moments before actually eating.
Shinji places maybe a teaspoon of each dish upon his plate, playing with it more than eating. I can see Katsuragi's disappointed, Aren't you hungry? She asks.
He simply shakes his head.
Asuka sighs, a frustrated sound, You should know by now that he plans on starving himself to death.
Katsuragi hisses.
The redhead only looks further angered, Kami, why do you baby him so much? Cooking his favorite meals and letting him sleep in your bed! If you haven't noticed, it's not helping! And I think it's disgusting.
I think Asuka notices my surprise, Oh, Kaji, didn't you know? They've been sleeping together every night, holding one another... Like lovers!
Katsuragi rises, Asuka! That's enough! I think you should take your plate to your room and finish eating there. It's the first time I've ever heard her really scold these kids and I suddenly realize how hard it's been on her having to raise and care for these two, especially these two.
Asuka growls in frustration, slapping her hands against the table as she pushes away, knocking her chair back. She leaves her plate as she stomps to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Katsuragi sighs, I'm sorry, Kaji. I really need to talk to her.
I smile, So, you two been sleeping together behind my back?
Shinji looks up. The whole time he seemed unaffected by Asuka's harsh words, but at my simple teasing he perks up, Oh, no... Kaji, it's not like that. I just, He looks away, a blush rising on his cheeks, I can't sleep by myself.
My smile fades, Hey, I was just kidding around. Don't worry. I know you're going through a lot. In fact, I have a bit of news.
His head snaps up again, his eyes wide, About Kaworu?
I nod, They're still running tests... I've heard that he's doing well enough, being fed well. I leave out the bit about the Angel not eating.
Shinji's eyes water, but I can tell he's fighting back tears, But they'll be done with their tests soon though, won't they?
I remain silent, not sure what I should say. It's true, they'll be through with Kaworu soon enough. I glance at Katsuragi, she looks as worried as I do.
Shinji smiles, Don't worry, I know. I've been having these dreams... He trails off as if not knowing how to describe them.
What kind of dreams? Katsuragi asks, leaning forward, her food forgotten.
Shinji takes a deep breath, About Kaworu... It's been the same one ever since... But last night he spoke. He said,
A few moments pass and we're all speechless. Shinji leans forward and rests his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. As he does so, the sleeves of his shirt slip down and I catch a glimpse of several injuries.
Obviously Katsuragi sees them as well, What happened to your arm?! She asks/shouts, rising to her feet and hurrying around the table.
Realizing what is going on, Shinji pulls his sleeves down and rises as well, walking around the table in the opposite direction and heading down the hall. He disappears into Katsuragi's room and she and I are left in the kitchen.
What was that? I asked, a bit confused.
She instantly begins grabbing plates and dishes, Looked like cuts to me. He probably did it himself. Her voice is low and angry, I should have known it would come to this. She continues grumbling in this manner until the table is clear and the sink full.
I rise, Calm down. You don't know what happened. How can you be so sure he did it to himself?
She seems to contemplate this for a few minutes before heading down the hall, motioning for me to follow. In the bathroom, she jerks a drawer open and lifts a razor up to the light. Sure enough, the blade is missing.
I should talk to him. She says weakly. I can tell she's on the verge of tears.
I sigh, Would you like me to come with you? I ask sincerely, a little unsure of myself in all this but determined to help.
She looks up, You wouldn't mind?
I simply smile, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.
Seconds later we're heading down the hall again. Katsuragi's room is dark and she quickly turns the light on as she enters. I follow, cautiously stepping around the clutter and pile of clothes. There's a chair at a desk and I drag it over to sit beside the bed. Shinji's sitting in the center of the futon, staring down at his hands. Katsuragi closes the door and moves to sit beside him.
Shinji, can I see your arms? She asks quietly.
He shakes his head, I don't want you to see.
She frowns, Why not?
He looks up then, his eyes watery, I don't want you to worry anymore.
I'll worry anyway. Please, let me try to help.
He remains still for a few moments and, I think maybe he's just going to sit there like that forever, but then he slowly nods.
A slight smile pulls at her lips, Will you take your shirt off?
Shinji closes his eyes and sighs, nodding as he slowly lifts his arms and pulls his shirt up over his head, letting it fall to the bed. I'm shocked. He's terribly thin and his skin is so pale. Then there's the cuts. They mar his arms from just above the elbow all the way to the wrist. There must be twenty to thirty cuts on each arm.
Katsuragi inspects the wounds carefully, none appear to be life threatening, She asks finally.
He shrugs, The pain was too much.
She remains silent, obviously confused. I speak up, I don't understand. The pain was too much so you injured yourself? I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense.
He sighs, rubbing the cuts on his left arm with his right hand, The pain on the inside, remembering Kaworu and missing him... This pain, He says, gesturing to his injuries, This pain helps make that other pain fade to the back.
I nod, understanding only slightly. The kid is really fucked up.
Are there anymore? Katsuragi asks, tugging gently at the edge of his long pants.
Shinji takes another deep breath, nodding. He leans to one side and then the other, slipping his pants under his bottom before pushing them down and off. Now he's sitting there in nothing more than a pair of plain, white boxer shorts. Katsuragi looks away. His thighs, from the knee all the way up, are covered in cuts. Some small and slight, others long and harsh, at least fifty on each leg, and I can see now that there's even one on his stomach.
Katsuragi's crying now, wiping at her eyes in frustration, I'm sorry, Shinji. She whispers, I... I just don't know what else to do.
Shinji's silent and after a few minutes, I realize that he's going to remain that way. I replace the chair from where I got it and pull Katsuragi to her feet. She's weak and fighting back tears, I have to support her as we leave the room as well as the apartment.
Out in the hall, she slumps against the wall, sliding down to the floor. I wait until a man passes and enters the elevator before moving to her side, Hey, you okay?
She shakes her head, Did you see that? He's never done anything like that before.
But are you okay? I ask, my words a little more demanding.
She looks up at me, Yeah, yeah... I'm just so stressed and worried... I don't know what to do anymore.
I nod, Don't worry about it. I'm going to look into some things, see what I can do. You just stay with Shinji, okay? I say, leaning forward and kissing her chastely before moving to rise.
She grabs my wrist, You're going? Now?
The right side of my mouth twists into a smile, Hey, I said not to worry. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning-
She interrupts me, No, I'm calling in sick. I can't leave Shinji the way he is now.
I nod, still smiling, I know. I'll come here. Okay? I reach out and take her hand, pulling her up to her feet.
She says, her lips pulling into a smile as I turn to go. I watch her enter and close the door behind her before I step into the elevator.
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Asuka:
I'm standing alone in the kitchen, cutting myself a piece of green tea cake, when Misato comes into the room. Her eyes are red and watery and I can tell she's upset. I sit down and eat my cake, watching as she gets a beer and apparently calms herself during the first few sips, sitting across from me.
I'm sorry I was so hard on you at dinner. She says finally, staring down at her beer, condensation beading up and pooling around the can.
I shrug,
No, I'm just so stressed out. I shouldn't have done it. It's true... I am babying Shinji. It's just that... I don't know what else to do for him. Her voice cracks slightly and she quickly pulls herself together, taking another sip from her beer.
I take another bite of my cake, Just... Just forget it. I was pissed. I know I've been a pain lately, and I can't make up for what I did to Shinji... But I still don't see why he can't get over it.
She looks up at me now, leaning forward, Asuka, I know how you feel about Shinji. He told me what happened. I know you're jealous of his feelings for Kaworu and now of me sleeping with him, but-
I interrupt, I'm not jealous!
She raises an eyebrow and simply looks at me, disbelief on her features.
I sigh exasperatedly, Okay... So maybe I'm jealous. I don't even know anymore. I mean, either way... What's wrong with him? People lose loved ones all the time, why is he acting like this is the end of the world?
She leans back, To him it is the end of the world. I thought maybe he'd get better, but... He's... He's just getting worse.
Now I'm the one raising an eyebrow, a questioning expression on my face.
He... He got the blade out of my razor... He cut himself up pretty bad. Her voice cracks again and she quickly lifts the can to her lips.
I whisper, my gaze going downward. I never thought Shinji would go so far. Guilt floods my mind and anger wells within me. Anger for myself mostly, but my pride will never allow me to let others know just how much I hate myself. So, the anger is instead directed towards Shinji, the one I love. He can really be stupid sometimes.
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Kaji:
I close the door as I step into my little apartment only three blocks from the building I work in. It's a tiny little place. In such a nice neighborhood, it's the only one I can afford, even on my salary. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are all one room. Being a guy, every flat surface is littered with either beer cans, trash, or papers dealing with my work. There's a little refrigerator, a tiny counter stove, a microwave, the sink, a TV, a little table, and two chairs. I can cross the room in five steps. My bedroom is hardly big enough for my twin size bed yet I still managed to squeeze in a dresser since there isn't a closet. The miniature bathroom is only accessible through the bedroom, which tends to be a bit awkward for company, but mostly I don't have company, with the exception of Katsuragi.
Even with all the junk and clutter, I quickly locate my cordless phone. I then thumb through about fifty different papers piled on the counter. It takes only a minute or two to find the information I'd dug up earlier this morning. I glance at the clock. It's pretty late, but knowing Gendo Ikari, it shouldn't be a problem.
The phone rings twice before he answers,
I can't help but smirk at his rude greeting, We need to talk. I say, my voice cool and calm and devoid of emotion.
I can picture him sitting up behind his desk, Who is this? How'd you get this number.
Ryoji Kaji.
Ah, Mr. Kaji, and to what do I owe the honor? Ikari's voice is smug now and I can just see his cruel smirk.
It's about your son. He's on the verge of death. Katsuragi's doing her best, but it's not enough. The boy is in a severe state of depression.
The line is quiet for a few moments, And what do you want me to do about it?
I want to scream and yell and curse at the bastard, but I keep my cool, I'm guessing the Angel is faring about the same. I suggest you take Shinji in, room them together.
Surely you're kidding. He says it as if I've lost my marbles, as if my suggestion is so far out there that I must be insane.
Are you learning much? Will the Angel live long enough for you to attain the data you want? Perhaps the Angel would be more willing if you did this one simple thing. Not only that, but you have the chance to save your son's life.
More silence on the line, longer this time, I'll call you at this number in the morning with my decision. And with that the line went dead.
I mutter a few obscenities as I hang up the phone. I just can't imagine how Gendo Ikari's mind works. I wonder which had more sway in my convincing, the thought that more information could be gained were the Angel to live longer or the fact that Shinji's life could be saved. I don't doubt it's the information the cruel man so wants, but I can't help but hope, for Shinji's sake, that perhaps he cares for his son after all, even if only a little.
I retrieve a frozen dinner from the freezer. I know it wasn't long ago that I ate dinner at Katsuragi's, but my stomach feels uneasy. The thought of hot food settling within me seems like a comfort and I quickly set to work heating up my second dinner.
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Misato:
Someone's ringing the bell. That's my first thought as my eyes crack open. I glance at the clock. 6:24 AM. Way too early. I cover my head and groan.
Shinji's hold on me tightens somewhat and I sense him stirring, He grumbles, sleepy and confused.
I groan again, this time pushing the covers back, Someone's at the door. I mumble, pulling my self up out of bed and stumbling out of my room.
The moment the door opens, Kaji barges in, What took you so long?! I told you I was coming over this morning!
I blink several times as I close the door again, following him into the kitchen. He's wearing the same thing he was wearing last night and I get the feeling he's running on nothing more than caffeine.
He calls, repeating himself several times before Shinji steps out of my room in nothing more than a pair of white boxers. There's a T-shirt in his hand, however, and as he approaches, he pulls it over his head.
Asuka pokes her head out her door, What's with all the noise? She shouts.
She's ignored as Kaji hurries over to Shinji, I've got some good news for you kid. I talked to your father last night and this morning-
Shinji's eyes go wide and he interrupts, You saw him?
Kaji looks a bit baffled and shakes his head, No, over the phone, but listen... If you're willing, you can go where they're holding Kaworu and stay there with him.
It doesn't seem possible, but Shinji's eyes go wider, a grin instantly forming, Really? In the same room and everything?
Kaji's grinning too now,
I step forward, Wait a minute, wait a minute... What's going to happen in there? Are they going to be well fed and taken care of? Are they supposed to live the rest of their lives there?
Oh, Misato, it doesn't matter! If we can just be together, it doesn't matter! Shinji's practically jumping up and down and I'm not sure I've ever seen him looking so happy and excited, despite the injuries littering his arms and thighs.
Kaji sobers up somewhat, You will get fed like Kaworu, which is three times a day. You'll also be subject to testing, just like Kaworu. They'll make you sign a bunch of papers and basically you'll become their property. It's a big risk. You really should think it through before making a decision.
Shinji nods, also sobering, There's no question. I want to go, I want to be with him, but... For how long?
Kaji sighs, Ikari couldn't be clear about how long. I assume until they've gotten all the information from Kaworu that they possibly can. It's Ikari's thinking that Kaworu will cooperate if the two of you are together.
Shinji glances at me for a moment, obviously thinking it over. I speak up, It could be just one day... One day of tests, then the both of you could be destroyed. I say, worry clear in my voice.
Even for just one day though... Shinji smiles then, I'll go.
I can't help but smile as well. To me it all sounds like insanity. What's one day? But I know Shinji's different, and I understand that his love runs deeper than mine ever could. If this is what he wants, if this will make him happy, I'm willing to go along with it. I look to Kaji, mouthing a thank you. He smiles in return, nodding.
Shinji turns then, hurrying back down the hall. Seconds later he's returning, wearing a pair of wrinkled pants and one of his school shirts.
Asuka steps out of her room. She's wearing a yellow tank top lined with thin, white lace and a pair of matching shorts, her night clothes, Are you crazy? She asks, her words directed to Shinji.
He shrugs,
She looks utterly confused, You must be. You're willing to risk your life for him?
Shinji smiles, I love him, Asuka. I don't know any other way to explain it.
She shakes her head, tears welling in her brilliant blue eyes, And what about me? What about my feelings?
His expression softens and he steps ever so close to her. My eyes widen and my breath catches in my lungs as he leans in. His lips press against hers and I note that there is some tongue action. They remain connected for a moment or two, their eyes closed.
Then, Shinji slowly pulls back, his eyes open, I'm not the one for you, Asuka. Your someone special is still out there. Don't worry, you'll find him. His voice is a soft whisper.
Her eyes remain closed, a few tears leaking down her cheeks as she nods. He kisses her chastely on the forehead and I feel my eyes watering. He turns and looks to Kaji and then to me before going around Asuka, heading for the front door.
I'll be just a minute. I say to Kaji in a rush as I hurry back to my room. I pull on a pair of too tight blue jeans and search for a bra. The only one I can find is blue and shows clearly through the worn, white T-shirt I pull on. I just shrug, hurrying out of the room.
I approach Asuka and place my hands on her shoulders. Her hands are on her face and she's sobbing, I'll be back. Stay here. Don't worry about school today. She doesn't answer and I don't wait for her to.
Kaji and Shinji are waiting for me in the hall. Not a word is spoken as we descend in the elevator and hail a cab. In just minutes we're all standing in front of the immense, shining building.
I swallow, fear churning in my stomach, You're sure you want to do this?
Shinji turns his head to look at me,
What if I never see you again? I ask, my eyes tearing up.
Just don't worry about me. Kaworu and I will be together always, even in death. It's where I want to be. I'm happy, so you have to be happy too. Okay?
His words are reassuring and I wonder how long Shinji's been this way without me knowing. I move close and hug him tight, I whisper in his ear.
Finally we pull apart and Kaji speaks up, Ready then?
We both nod and then all three of us are approaching the entrance. A man in a fancy suit opens the door for us and a woman behind a desk wearing far too much lipstick smiles up at us, May I help you?
Ryoji Kaji, Misato Katsuragi, and Shinji Ikari to see Gendo Ikari. Kaji's words are firm and confident and I'm amazed at his ability to control his voice as well as his expressions.
The woman's eyes widen, Yes, of course. I have instructions that you're to take the elevator to the fourteenth floor.
We don't hesitate, heading straight for the elevator. It opens the instant Kaji presses the little arrow button pointing up and we all step inside. The ride is slow and unnerving and I find I'm sweating like a pig.
Kaji glances at me, Just relax.
Oh sure, just like that. I grumble as the doors open into a huge white room. I'm amazed. There are people everywhere. It's nothing like I thought it'd be. I was expecting something similar to the many Nerv research labs where everything was spotless and organized, everything in order, everyone in their place. Here there were people in lab coats skittering about all over the place with papers, files, discs, etc. in their hands.
A man approaches us, a big broad man without a coat, Right this way please. He says politely. We follow him to the back of the room and into a big glass office.
There, Gendo Ikari is sitting behind a desk, Have a seat. He says, more a demand than a offer. Still, we do so. The man who showed us in leaves, shutting the doors behind him.
Ikari leans back in his chair, So, Shinji, I guess you agreed to my terms.
Go over them again. Kaji says, his voice doing the same trick Gendo's had only moments ago. It sounded like a demand rather than a suggestion.
Ikari smirks, You will stay with the Angel for as long as he is with us, and in return, you sign yourself over to us. You may or may not be subject to tests and/or experiments. He says, looking at Shinji as he speaks.
He'll be well fed and taken care of? I ask, unable to keep from asking.
Ikari only smirks again, Of course.
What about visits from civilians like myself or classmates? I ask, sitting forward for this one.
Ikari shakes his head, There will be no communication with the outside world.
I slump back, and Shinji places a hand on mine, It's okay Misato. He whispers.
So, you agree then to my terms? Gendo's voice seems impatient now.
Shinji nods,
Good. You'll need to sign these though before we can go any further. Ikari says, sliding an inch thick stack of papers across his desk.
Shinji pulls his chair close and lifts the pen lying atop the stack. He doesn't appear nervous or scared, and the entire room remains silent as he signs each page.
Ikari rises and motions for someone to enter. I turn to see two men enter, neither doctors. Shinji only smiles at me and then Kaji before rising and allowing them to take hold of his arms.
Very well then. Gendo says, I guess that's that. He motions again and the man from earlier enters to escort Kaji and I back to the elevator. As the doors are closing I glimpse the two men unlocking a door in the back and escorting Shinji through it. Then the elevator doors are closed and I'm sobbing.
Hey, hey... It's what he wanted. He's happy. Kaji whispers, wrapping his strong arms around me.
I nod, wiping at my tears, I know, I know.
Everyone in the lobby stares at us as we leave. Surely they all notice that what was once three is now two, not to mention my tear-stained face.
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To be continued...
