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Cherry Waterfall
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a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan fic
By: Hatti Lee*
Also known as:
Saiyajin Peach
Saiyajin Peach 18
Amalthea*
Beloved Animosity
Contact: Beloved_Animosity@sbcglobal.net
Started: 10.2.3
Pairing: Shinji X Kaworu
Author's Notes: Be warned... Much angst and such. No worries though... Remember, this story will have a happy ending. Oh, and by the way, I'm practically finished! So, posting should speed up. Anyway, enjoy! And don't forget to review!
Warnings: This is a yaoi fic, which means it contains intimacy between two males. If you're uncomfortable with that, I suggest you turn back now. Also, this fic will most likely contain violence, language, and graphic sexual content. If you're underage, please turn back now. You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and its characters are not my own, and I'm making absolutely nothing off of this. So, please don't sue me!!!
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Chapter XVI: Testing
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Shinji:
I shift in my sleep, blinking my eyes open at the sounds of keys... Someone's coming. I glance at Kaworu to see that he's wide awake, gazing passed me to the door. I touch his face, causing him to look down at me, Good morning, my love. I whisper, watching as his lips pull into a smile.
The sounds are closer now and I turn to watch the door open, expecting it to be the young woman with our breakfast. It's not the woman though. It's four guards, looking at us in disgust.
One steps forward, Come on, get up and get dressed. His voice is rough and demanding and I don't hesitate to do as he says. I rise and pull on my discarded clothes while Kaworu sits up and calmly pulls his clothes into place. The guard motions for both of us to stand, and without question, we do so.
My arms are firmly grabbed and I understand now the reasoning behind Kaworu's bruises. We're guided out and down the white hall and into the large crowded room. My father's standing there with several scientists to either side of him.
He smirks down at me, his eyes masked behind his glasses, Testing begins today.
I remain silent. He simply stares at me for a few moments, perhaps waiting for some kind of response. When he realizes he's not going to get one, he glances up at the guards and gestures for them to follow.
We're led to a corner where two sturdy, metal chairs are situated. We're sat down and a doctor approaches, pushing my wrists and ankles into the right places in order to secure me to said chair. When he's done with me, he removes Kaworu's restraints and quickly has him bound to his chair much like myself.
Another doctor says, a young woman with long blonde hair, We're going to be asking you some questions and we want you to answer honestly. The sound of her voice is beautiful, and I can imagine that at one point in her life, she was a singer, however, her tone is austere, nearly frighteningly so.
Yes, of course. Kaworu says and I turn to look at him. He's calm and smiling. I almost can't believe it. How is he capable of remaining so in such horrible conditions? He moves his head and meets my eyes with his, Shinji, are you not going to answer? They become quite upset if they aren't answered. My eyes widen and I quickly turn to look to the blonde woman. I simply nod, unable to speak. Doesn't Kaworu even realize what he's saying? How can he be so passive? I'm scared to death.
Luckily, my nod is sufficient and the woman continues, speaking to Kaworu, You would not answer before, but perhaps now you will... How is it that you have returned to Earth?
My father shifts, moving closer only slightly. I can tell he's anxious for an answer.
Kami put life into me again. Kaworu says simply, truthfully.
The woman asks, her voice aggravated.
I do not begin to understand the abilities of Kami, nor would I try to. His wrath is one to be feared. I watch as my Angel speaks, his lips like liquid, opening and closing. He could be reading a recipe or speaking tender things to my ear. He's so indifferent.
So, you're saying that one day, you simply were? The woman asks, her voice mocking and disbelieving.
Kaworu nods and the woman glances back at my father, who also nods.
The woman sighs, Very well. Then perhaps you can an answer why you returned to Earth.
Kami fulfilled Shinji's prayer. I blush at the mention of my name, turning again to look at Kaworu. His smile's wider now, as if the memory pleases him. I'm glad.
And what prayer was that?
Kaworu's smile widens even further, He prayed for a best friend, a lover, someone who'd understand him completely. And so, Kami gave him me.
The woman looks angry. I can see that she doesn't believe a word of it, but before she can speak up, my fathers steps closer, Is that true, Shinji?
I sit up, my fear returning with force, I nod.
I never knew you were the religious type. His voice holds that same disbelief in it.
No, but I believe in Kami, and even though I didn't much like him... I was so depressed and lonely, all I could think of was Kaworu. So... So, I prayed and wished for him. I really didn't think Kami would hear me or care, but I thought I deserved it. After... After everything I went through. I explain, slowly thinking every word through before I say it.
My father smirks, So, it's true then, Angel? You are a gift to my son from Kami above.
Kaworu nods and my father goes on, You're like property then?
Kaworu instantly shakes his head, No, not at all. Like all of Kami's creatures, I possess free will. That is why, though I am an Angel, Kami decided to give me to Shinji, because I return his feelings.
My father makes a face of disgust, Love then. Is that what you're saying?
Kaworu nods and I'm blushing, smiling to myself and trying to keep my eyes from starring lovingly at my lover.
My father mutters, glancing to the blonde woman and nodding as he moves back to stand and observe.
What kind of connection do the two of you have? She asks, glancing from one to the other.
When it's obvious I'm not going to speak up, Kaworu does,
Any sort of telepathic abilities? Anything of that sort?
No. With our flesh in the way, our minds are unable to meet. Kaworu says, and the woman scribbles a bit on a clipboard she's just picked up. I think about his words and wonder at how it will be when our minds meet. Will we no longer speak to one another? Will we already know what we're going to say before we say it and simply be? It's confusing and my brain aches with trying to understand it all. However, I'm fairly sure that this is what Kaworu meant for us after death. And as hopeful as I am for us to be together when our lives end, I can't help but cling to life and conversation and uncertainty. Even knowing that we'll be together forever, I fear the end of our lives together.
Okay then, what of your powers? You were unwilling to speak to us of your capabilities before... What exactly is it that you're capable of?
This time Kaworu remains silent. Powers? I never thought that my Angel had powers. Of course, that day at school had been strange, when that wind had come with a message of love. And how can I forget so long ago, when Kaworu took control of Eva Unit 02? Now I find myself curious... Indeed, what powers do my Angel have?
My father speaks up, Do you plan on answering?
You wanted me to be honest... I cannot answer that question as I really do not know. Kaworu says this with a serious expression, his eyes gazing at the floor.
My father nods again to the woman and she turns to me, What power do you have over the Angel?
My eyes go wide,
She nods, and I go on, I... I don't know that I have any power. We don't control each other. We're equal.
She jots a few things down, Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than the Angel?
My mouth drops open, That's... My sexual relations are none of your business.
We know you've had intercourse with the Angel. Please, just answer the question. She seems annoyed, but I refuse to answer and instead just sit and stare at her.
My father gestures for something, and I watch as a little TV is rolled over on a narrow table. A young man presses a button and suddenly I'm watching myself and Kaworu together. I try and lift my hands over my face, but I'm quickly reminded that they're bound to the chair. My cheeks redden and my eyes water. I'm so utterly embarrassed... And angry.
They pause the tape and wheel the TV slightly out of the way, How could you...? You filmed us together?
There's a security camera in the room, if you had bothered to look. My father scoffs, then gestures to the screen, Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than the Angel?
The tears are running now and I simply shake my head. My father nods, satisfied, motioning for the blonde to continue, Do you experience any visions or anything out of the ordinary?
I laugh, a sick choked sound, During sex?
She says plainly, rudely.
Well, seeing as I've never had sex with anyone else, how would I know if anything out of the ordinary' happened? My voice is strong and bitter now.
My father growls, Just answer the question.
I fear that voice, Yeah... I experience love.
Kaworu turns and looks at me, the smile returning to his face.
Love? I wouldn't say that was out of the ordinary. The woman says, annoyed again.
I turn and look straight her, hatred in my eyes, It is for me.
Enough. Start the tests. My father rises then and strides across the room, closing himself in a glass office. We're left to the men and women in lab coats. Guards approach and remove us from the chairs only to lay us upon rolling tables to be bound down again.
My tears return as we're separated. The table is cold and my clothes are cut and pulled from my body. A skinny guy leans over me, Hey, relax. He whispers as he jabs a needle in my arm, drawing forth my life essence.
What... What are you doing? I ask, straining my head in order to see.
Just taking some blood. He says, placing a red tube on a tray and grabbing an empty one.
So much? I ask as he reaches for the fifth tube.
He chuckles, This is the last one.
When he's finished, a few others join him in sticking little wires to my body. Something to do with nerves and pulse. I don't understand any of it. However, I am more than embarrassed as their hands roam my naked body. When they've finished, they hook me up to a noisy machine.
Did you get his temperature? A woman asks.
Oh, yeah... 97.8.
Oral or rectal?
Huh? Oh, oral.
So, what was the rectal? My eyes are wide now and I can't believe they're talking about my private, secret places in such a way. I dread what I'm about to hear.
I didn't take one. The skinny man says, obviously getting annoyed.
The woman huffs a loud breath and I watch in pure terror as she pulls on rubber gloves, Fine, I'll do it.
No, please... Don't. I say, gaining her attention. She only pauses for a moment though, obviously thinking it best to simply ignore my plea. I feel her cold hands between my legs, spreading my buttocks. I'm tense and scared and try as I might, I can't seal myself off to her. My eyes water again as the cold device is pushed into me. As horrible and violating as it is, it takes only a minute or two.
When she pulls away, I exhale a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding, 98.7. So I guess you haven't take a sperm sample either?
I clench my eyes shut, the tears free flowing now. I hear the skinny man sigh, No, I didn't.
I crack my eyes open to see that she's pulling on another pair of gloves, I beg, Please... Don't do this. I can't take this.
My words don't reach her though and she places her strange, cold hands upon me. I'm all out sobbing as she works my traitorous body into an erection. I scream and plead and she doesn't stop. I feel myself reaching that point and I go wild. I pull and yank at my bindings, calling out for anyone to stop this. No one helps, and seconds later I'm coming, the semen all collected in a plastic container.
I go limp and simply sob, cursing them all. I feel so used and violated. No one other than Kaworu has ever touched me in such a way, and I never had any intention of changing that.
I look into the skinny man's eyes, Rape... That's what that was... I can't believe you can stand there and allow all this.
He seems sympathetic for a moment, but then his eyes go cold and he shrugs, Sorry, kid.
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Asuka:
As usual, I step into the classroom and take my seat mere seconds before the bell rings. I glance at Hikari to find that she's shaking her head, just as she always does. Everything seems just the same, well, of course, except for Shinji's absence. Other than that, however, everything is just the same, and I find it hard to be upset here. I laugh and talk and study just as I always have.
That's why, when during lunch, I was surprised when the others approached, asking about Shinji.
Where's he been? He's already missed a ton of work. Kensuke says, stuffing a rice ball in his mouth.
I slouch and look elsewhere, They came and took Kaworu.
I can hear the confusion in Kensuke's voice, but I'm not sure I should say anything. I doubt Gendo Ikari would like me spreading the word. He'd probably have his stupid goons come and get me.
However, Hikari answers while I'm thinking it over, He's an Angel. The Seventeenth Angel.
I look up and both boys are staring wide-eyed, Are you for real? Toji asks, setting his lunch aside.
I just nod, They came and took him away and Shinji's been super depressed... And then, yesterday Kaji came over and... I droop my head and place my hands over my face, hiding my tears. I don't want to think about what Misato said about Shinji cutting himself with her razor... I don't want to think about his kiss and the farewell behind it...
I feel a reassuring hand on my shoulder and I know it's Hikari, It's okay, Asuka, just tell us what happened.
I take a deep breath and look up again a moment later, Shinji went to live with the Angel where he's being held. It's like a laboratory and a prison at the same time. I can't believe he chose to go live there. Anger pulls at me as I wipe my tears away.
Toji sighs, Well, Shinji did say he was in love with Kaworu. Maybe he's happier this way.
I nod, remembering the way Shinji was just before he left. He was smiling and excited. I sigh and pick at my lunch.
A few quiet minutes pass until Kensuke speaks up, So, when's he coming back?
I stop eating and look up at them, sorrow thick in my voice, Never probably.
The bell rings.
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Kaworu:
Breakfast and lunch were skipped, however, we were served a large dinner by Candice. Her kind words didn't reach us this time though and we were finally left alone. We ate slowly and forcefully, not speaking a word.
Now we lie together wrapped in our one blanket, naked, holding one another.
Shinji lifts his head from my chest and presses his warm cheek to my cool one, I don't want tomorrow to come. He whispers.
My hold on him tightens, I heard you calling for me... You were screaming. I say, feeling a pain deep in my soul.
They... They touched me. He says, tears choking his words, and I understand.
Please, don't be upset. I say, trying my best to comfort my lover, rubbing my hands along his back in long slow strokes.
I don't know how you managed in here alone.
I smirk, My life before wasn't much different than this.
He pulls back and looks at me with wide eyes. Once he realizes I'm serious, his tears come stronger, Kaworu, I... I don't want to live like this until we die. I... I don't want to die. He buries his head into the crook of my neck and sobs.
I feel that pain again within me, I'm sorry.
This time he pulls back with force, No! It's not your fault. Don't ever apologize. His voice is stern and his expression serious, his hands on either side of my face.
My lips pull into a wide smile as I lean closer, pressing my lips to his. He makes a little sound in his throat and opens his mouth instantly. I want to swallow him whole. I want to fall down within him. I want our beings to merge. I can only imagine when the time comes and our physical form is no more. And I tell him this.
He pulls back again, But... How will we talk and kiss and have sex?
I smile, Our minds will touch. Anything we wish will simply be.
He looks confused and scared, But... Will it be like this? He asks, slipping his hand beneath the blanket and taking hold of my semi-erection.
I take in a deep breath, No... Not quite.
He shakes his head, Then I don't want it. I want this. He says, moving his hand in the most alluring way.
Just imagine, Shinji... Our thoughts will be one. There will be no hesitation, no fear, no doubt in our minds of our true feelings. I explain, kissing him chastely.
Again, he shakes his head, But I thought it was my imperfections you loved best.
My eyes widen and I'm caught off guard. I hadn't expected him to say that. I hadn't expected realization to dawn within me. Never has such a feeling washed through me. I don't want to die either. I had grown accustomed to life in the spiritual plain, the idea of it with Shinji is comforting, but this life I have discovered here with him on Earth... How could I have been so blind? I want this too.
I nod, calming and smiling to my love, You are right. I whisper, pressing my lips full to his, opening my mouth and biting gently on his lower lip as he often does.
He makes a sound and I pull back to see him a bit confused, We have to think of a way to make our future possible.
I nod and move in again for another taste of those pink, swollen lips, but he turns his head, We can't. I don't want them to see. He glances at the camera and I understand. I move close again and he rests his head against me, his lips wet against my chest. Our arms wrap themselves around our bodies and hold tight as sleep presses in.
Just before unconsciousness takes hold of him, Shinji mumbles, Love you, Kaworu.
I smile and rest my cheek against the top of his head, his hair a bit oily, I love you too.
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Kaji:
Several weeks later and Misato still asks me every morning of new information or changes. I tell her a few things, but mostly I keep it all to myself. Most of it she wouldn't be able to handle anyway. I know that just by looking at her. Her hands always gripping, her shoulders hunched, her entire body quivering in fear of bad news. There's no way I could explain to her all the horrible things. However, something has come up, and she's going to have to be told. I can't keep this from her. And I'm starting to see that maybe I shouldn't have kept anything from her all along.
Still unsure as to what I will and won't say, I press the call button and wait for the elevator. As I'm waiting, Asuka approaches. I smile at her, You're getting home late, aren't you?
She doesn't return the smile. Instead she just shrugs then asks, What are you doing here?
I don't answer, my smile drooping into a frown as we step into the elevator along with an older woman.
Katsuragi's at the door when it opens and both Asuka and I are surprised, What's wrong with you!? Asuka all but screams as she stalks passed.
The violet-haired woman sighs, I've been waiting. She says, gesturing for me to come in. I remain quiet mostly, unlike myself, and I believe she's noticed. Still, she doesn't comment on it until we've all had dinner.
Asuka still at the table, the dishes dirty and empty litter the table's surface, she can stand it no more, Kaji, what is it? What's happened?
I sigh and take a big gulp from my beer, leaning back in my chair, They're almost finished testing here.
Asuka asks, her eyes wide.
I nod, They're going to move Kaworu to a compound in Germany for safe keeping as well as further research and experimentation.
Katsuragi's eyes go wide, And Shinji?
They're going to leave him here. Ikari thinks it was a mistake to take him in in the first place. I say quietly, watching her for a reaction.
Asuka speaks up, But he'll probably end up killing himself. Her voice is slow and soft and full of sorrow.
Katsuragi nods, Does Shinji know?
No, neither of them do.
She nods, Good, good. They'd both kill themselves this very night if they did.
I'm hesitant as I go on, There... There's more. They think there's a possibility the other Angels will return. They're going to do to Kaworu what they did to Adam. The last comes out in a whisper and instantly Katsuragi's eyes go wide, her turmoil fading from her face, her expression blank as her eyes begin to water.
They're insane. She whispers, Oh, Kaji, what are we going to do? We can't just let all this happen.
Asuka's apparently confused, I don't get it? Let what happen?
I sigh, looking to the girl with heavy eyes, This could result in Third Impact.
She's quiet for a while, obviously thinking everything through in her head, Misato's right. We have to do something.
I rise, What? Get ourselves killed? Even if we did that, it wouldn't accomplish anything. My voice is rigid and angry and it upsets Asuka instantly.
Well, excuse me for caring! You may not realize it, but either way we're dead! The least we could do is try. And with that she's stomping off to her room, shutting herself off from the harsh reality.
I sigh and sink back down in my chair, I didn't mean to upset her.
Katsuragi smiles through her tears and reaches out to place a hand on my arm, Don't worry. It wasn't your fault. We're all upset.
I nod, resting my hand upon hers, There's some things I haven't been telling you... About Shinji and Kaworu.
I know.
I'm a bit surprised but it leaves me quickly as I begin to explain everything I know. I tell her of the guards and the living conditions and the constant surveillance, the endless blood samples and constant questioning. I tell her about the time Shinji demanded better treatment and got roughed up by several guards and the time Kaworu was injured in different ways in order for them to observe his body's reaction. She's sobbing by the time I'm finished.
I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you. I whisper, my own eyes watering from the pain and stress it caused to carry such awful things alone.
She shakes her head, I understand. It's just... I want so much better for Shinji. I want him to be happy.
I know, I know. Don't worry. I'll think of something. I say to her, moving closer and attempting to kiss her tears away. I fail miserably and end up joining her in her sorrow. We comfort one another with silence as we rack or brains with solutions to the horrid problems that lie ahead. I help her with the dishes and join her in her bed. Of course, sex is the last thing on our minds as we hold one another in the dark. Poor Shinji. Poor Kaworu. They have no clue what's going to happen. If only there were someone on the inside, a friend. If anything, someone simply to let them know of what awaits them.
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To be continued...
