A/n: This chapter is pure comedy so no one's head is going to be in a .
. .
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: Who invited you?
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: A necktie invited you?
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: What? You lost me.
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: While I go and try to figure out Sirius's psyche, how about you go read the chapter?
Thank you:
Miranda Flairgold: I'm going to answer what Longo said once and once only, so you get the long awaited answer! Drum roll please! *Sirius bangs pot* Thank you! Norman Longo said: "A star shines upon the hour of our meeting."
Hound of Death: How's my most annoying reviewer? I mean that in the best sense, ya know. Ah, the eternal question: Who is the better author, J. K. Rowling or J. R. R. Tolkien?
Eva Phoenix Potter: Yup, that was Elven, my accent marks didn't show up though so it's not politically correct. For what Longo said check Miranda Flairgold's review. Writing a Quidditch match? May the Force be with you!
WhiteIckyThing: Get up here you! *drags WhiteIckyThing on stage* You get the gold star this chapter! * There it is. That website you gave me just about saved my life, thank you so much! And you also translated what Longo said correctly!
Wolf of Solitude: You found me out, you clever wolf you! *rips off disguise* I REALLY am J. K. Rowling! I'm writing this amazingly plot twisted story just to entertain you before book five comes out, aren't I nice to my fans? *Sirius walks in and rips off J. K. Rowling mask to reveal a teenage girl* Okay, okay, I'm not really JKR, but I did have fun pretending for a minute there.
Longo is oozing mystery? I like that! Longo is around for the long haul. You'll be seeing a lot more of him in future chapters.
As for Sirius, you'll be getting your fill of him and Remus in the next few chapters. Harry bashing comes later so get your Kleenex ready!
Shadow: Put down the Coke can! I'm working on it! I am! Just put down the coke can! Or no more Book of Ages either.
vmr: Thank you!
Lavander Ice: Writing a Quidditch match, poor Ice! Longo is, in a nutshell, an enigma.
Keara Jordan: I love writing Lee, he's a lot like me when I have to commentate something (I'm forced to do the boy's basketball games sometimes) SIRIUS and AGAGORN and HARRY and FRODO forever! Personally, I think McGonagall is going to cry when the twins and Lee graduate and she can't yell at them anymore.
tima: Thank you! Isn't Sirius wonderful?
T. Cairpre: How ya doin' buddy? Yes, you are correct and you get a gold star *! *sticks gold star on T. Cairpre's forehead* There you go, my Elven expert!
Tschubi-chan: So true about Quidditch matches. Aragorn is my favorite too, followed by Frodo, and . . . .
Sandrine Black: Thanks! Please direct you attention to Miranda Flairgold's thank you for the translation to that.
Shaynie: Thank you!
Thank you to my betas: Essence of Magic, Immia, and sweets! They all helped me come up with . . . well you'll see in the chapter!
Special Thank You: A special thank you to sweets who co-wrote this chapter with me! If it wasn't for her I'd still be working on it! How about a round of applause for sweets! *applauds*
Sequel to Harry Potter and the Emerald Eye. (I suggest you read that first, but you don't have to, it's just a good idea.) Harry's in for quite a year when he starts seeing things that no one else can, is it a dream? Or is he really going crazy? Questions start arising like what did Voldemort do to his victim after he killed them? This has it all; mystery, insanity, a lot of Sirius and Remus, and everyone calls Harry a lunatic at least once! ;)
Disclaimer - This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I own the plot and a few original things. Elven itself all belongs to the master himself J. R. R. Tolkien.
Chapter 8: It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like . . .
There was a definite winter feeling in the Hogwart's air. Perhaps, it was the fact that the ground was covered with a thick layer of snow or that whenever they left Potions their skin was blue. Whatever it may have been, the snow or the skin, there were two things that were certain: Christmas was coming and Harry Potter was in a rut.
This was made very obvious to Ron as he watched Harry pace the length of the dorm room for the hundredth time.
"Ron!" the raven-haired boy said suddenly, a desperate edge to his voice. "You have to help me!"
Ron looked up from the magazine his was reading, "Why don't you just ask him?"
"Oh, sure, that'll go over brilliantly," snarled Harry. "Try again."
"Well, if you're that desperate there's always the old standby."
Harry stopped short "Standby? What standby?"
Ron turned another page before saying, "A seasonal necktie."
Harry flopped onto his bed and threw a pillow over his face groaning "I'm doomed!"
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You're always doomed."
Harry threw a pillow at him.
Ron dodged the pillow, still smirking.
"Or a box of seasonal cond—"
"No, I don't that'll go over well either." Harry said quickly. "What's that issue about?" he asked, pointing to the magazine.
"What does it take? Ten ways of improving your performance and your way to the pros," said Ron imitating Ludo Bagman's announcer voice, handing Harry the magazine.
Harry took the magazine and started skimmed it before his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.
"What is it?" Ron inquired, scrambling on Harry's bed.
"Look!" whispered Harry, pointing at an ad.
Ron's eyes widened as he read the ad, whispering "What would you do for that?"
"Anything."
~~~
Harry stared morosely at the falling snow the next day; he still hadn't found a gift for Sirius.
"It can't be that difficult Harry." Hermione said as Ron's queen knocked out her knight. "Just get him a nice flannel shirt or a necktie."
Harry let out a strangled cry, "He doesn't even wear neckties!"
Ron chuckled while Hermione rolled her eyes "I was only trying to help."
"I know," said Harry sullenly. "Thanks anyway."
"You know Harry—check—why don't you go ask Lupin?" suggested Ron, surveying the chessboard. "He probably knows what Sirius likes better than us."
Harry's eyes lit up as he dashed up to the dormitory and back down a second later, Marauder's Map in hand, yelling "Thanks Ron!" over his shoulder.
"Checkmate." Ron said as he took Hermione's king.
Harry wandered down several corridors; the map said Lupin was in his old office. When he reached the door he knocked tenitively.
"Come in!" called Lupin.
Harry entered quietly, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
"Hello Harry." Lupin said cheerfully putting down the book he was reading. "What can I help you with today?"
"Er . . . I, er . . . it's about Sirius." Harry blurted out.
"What has the old dog done this time?" Lupin sighed with a smile.
"Nothing, it just . . . I . . . it's me!" Harry babbled, pacing the office. "Well, it's for . . . I really want to get him something special because he's, like my parent . . . like my dad in a way, you know? And I've tried, I really have! And everybody says just get him a seasonal necktie, but—"
"Sirius doesn't wear neckties." Lupin interrupted.
"Exactly! And then Hermione says get him a flannel shirt—"
"He wears those . . . sometimes."
Groaning, Harry continued, "And then Ron said to talk to you and that's why I'm here. Help me, I'm desperate!" He collapsed in the nearest chair and stared pleadingly at Lupin.
Lupin was silent for a minute or two before saying, "Harry, I've known Sirius since he was eleven and the first thing I ever learned about him was that he was and still is a complete bookworm."
Harry burst out laughing," Sirius?! My godfather Sirius? A bookworm? Ha!"
"He doesn't seem the type, does he? But he is. He's very smart, don't forget that."
"I know, he has got to be." Harry said quietly.
"Why do you say that?" asked Lupin, interested.
Harry gulped, "You won't tell him I told you this, it's suppose to a secret."
"Cross my heart, may I tickle a sleeping dragon if I lie." Lupin promised.
Leaning across the desk, Harry said just above a whisper "He's teaching me Elven."
Lupin's face broke into a grin, "Well, Harry I think we've just solved your problem."
"We have?" Harry said blankly.
"Think, what does Sirius obsess over?"
"Me." Harry muttered dully. Sirius could be overly protective at times.
"Try again."
"Girls? I can't get him a girl! That's illegal!"
Lupin shook his head, "No, no! Well, yes he is obsessed with girls, but try again."
"His hair?"
Lupin chuckled, "Also true, but no."
"Er, um," Harry searched Lupin's face for a clue. "Elven?"
"You're getting warmer."
Harry sighed, trying to clear his mind. Sirius was obsessed with Elven and he was a bookworm so . . . he got it. "He's obsessed with—"
"Exactly," Lupin grinned.
"Thanks Professor! You're the best!" Harry said, sprinting out of the room and right into Sirius. "Sorry, Sirius! See you later!"
"Where's the fire?" Sirius shouted after his godson, before stomping into Lupin's office, looking decidedly grumpy. He collapsed in the same chair Harry had been sitting in.
"What have you been doing?" Lupin asked curiously, observing that Sirius's hair was covered with snow.
"Same thing I've been doing for the past week. Combing Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley for a Christmas present for Harry," Sirius grumbled, shaking the snow from his hair.
Lupin shook his head, smirking, "Let me guess, no luck?"
"None whatsoever," Sirius buried his head in his hands. "I never thought this would be so bloody hard."
"Why do you say that? I'm sure Harry will like anything you get him. You've never missed yet."
"There's a first time for everything." Sirius said wryly. "And at this rate he'll end up with a seasonal necktie."
"How about something that we know Harry's crazy about?" Lupin suggested, holding back a laugh.
"Cho Chang?"
Lupin's eyes widened, before banging his head against the desk. "Try again Padfoot!" he said in mid-bang.
"Ginny Weasley? I thought Harry's just her friend."
"She is, and try again!" growled Lupin, deciding that Sirius and his godson were definitely cut from the same cloth.
"Quidditch! That has to be it!" Sirius said with hopeful triumph.
"Since the girls are out," he muttered under his breath.
"He does have a brain!" cried Lupin joyfully, conjuring a mortarboard and jamming it on Sirius's head.
"So that's what's up there" Sirius said sarcastically, patting the cap. "But after Pitch Black who knows what's left." He added with a bit of a growl at the memory.
"We're playing Pitch Black again tomorrow." The werewolf reminded his friend. "Holiday treat."
"Noooooo! I'm calling in sick tomorrow." Sirius said with mirth.
"Then I'll teach Harry the spell, and he can turn you into a hanky sack whenever he gets annoyed with you." Lupin threatened.
"I'll be there...just what he needs arsenal if he ever gets mad at me...Just don't you dare teach him that spell," Sirius said sighing in defeat. But he did pick up a pillow and threw it at Lupin. "Hope you like howling" Sirius added under his breath.
Lupin glared at Sirius when it hit him in the shoulder, "Don't start, you still need a present for Harry, and if you and your godson do that again you'll both find yourselves in the holiday spirit . . . as tree ornaments."
Sirius glared at Remus. "You're no fun, you do know that don't you?" he said pouting
Lupin smirked, "I'm honored, now back to Harry. We've--you've sorry-- settled on getting him something to do with Quidditch, correct?"
"Yes but what? Moony heeeeeellllllllp!" Sirius pleaded with his friend
"Well, I would have recommended that new book . . ."
"No Moony, Hermione gets him those all the time." Sirius said shooting down the idea.
"She didn't, I checked, and do you even know what it's about?" Lupin said with a Marauder smile.
"Okay, oh wonderful wolf I'll bite what is it about?" Sirius asked totally defeated, at the idea of getting his godson yet another book.
"It's call 105 Ways to Perfect Your Skills as a Seeker."
"Hundred and five, at least it's original." Sirius said with some sorrow edging his voice.
"Moony, I don't know. Do you think he'd like it?" he added with some defeat noticeable.
"With helpful diagrams, conversations with world-class Seekers, and information applying to the U.K. Jr. Quidditch team," Remus added, ignoring his friend's last question.
"Okay that doesn't sound too bad, but Moony I swear if he leaves me to go to the Jr. Quidditch team I'm blaming you." Sirius added slightly amused now at the thought of what a good book his friend suggested.
"You can blame me." Remus smirked. "But giving him two of the same book is really a bit senseless."
"Two? You already got it for him?" Sirius asked surprised.
"Uh huh." Remus's smirk broadened.
"Moony, why did you suggest it to me then?" Sirius asked whining at his friend.
"To see the look on your face." Lupin said over his friend's loud sigh. "If it is any consolation, Harry's going through the same hell as to what to get you."
"Really? But Harry doesn't have to get me anything. After what the Dursleys' did, I want to spoil him rotten." Sirius said truthfully, looking astonished that Harry wanted to give him anything.
"Cut from the exact same cloth," chuckled Lupin.
"What do you mean by that?" Sirius asked curiosity peaked.
Lupin pointed his wand at his throat and muttered something, before saying in a voice exactly like Harry's, "But he's my parent, Remus! I really want to get him something special, I mean he gave me the Firebolt and all, and he's like . . . well . . . my dad in a way, you know?"
"Harry said that?" Sirius asked surpirsed."Why didn't he tell me?"
"Sirius, he'll never say that directly to you." Lupin said still in Harry's voice. "He thinks you'll get mad at him for saying something like that, he knows you're not his father but that doesn't stop him from wanting you to be his dad in the grand scheme of things."
"But I am adopting him. Besides I know that Harry has a father. I am going to make sure Harry knows about both of his parents. Moony how can I tell him I won't be angry with him. I am not good at this parenting thing. HELP ME!!" Sirius pleaded desperately to his friend.
"By the way Moony, if you ever tell Harry I was this desperate, you'll be howling for a month" He added with a grin.
"You seem to be getting along quite well from what I've seen, the boy has you on a pedestal by now, and Harry knows without you telling him. Didn't you notice when we were in that forest last summer how every time something alarming happened he would be next to you in a moment?" Lupin said meaningfully. "I think we should stay with the "Seeker" theme for a present, by the way."
"Hmm, has anyone ever given him a practice snitch?" Sirius asked since his memory tended to be like a sieve at times, though he'd never admit it.
Lupin's eyes grew very large, "No, not that I know of."
"Moony, try to grab Ron tomorrow and make sure. If the answer is no, then I'd say bingo." Sirius said with now a huge grin on his face.
"Besides, he doesn't know about the house now does he, Moony?" Sirius added with a sly, secretive grin.
"Remember now what's in the back of the old mansion now..." Sirius said since his friend remained silent.
"You're going back there when school's out, huh?" Lupin said, sounding mildly surprised.
"Why not? It's been in my family for a long time and it just happens to have the Quidditch pitch that we used during the times we were home." Sirius said winking. "Where better to put the book and practice snitch to use? Besides he won't get clobbered by any Bludgers while only practicing." he added as a side comment
Lupin nodded sagely, before asking "Do you want me to get Ron?"
"You're right better to do it tonight huh? That way Harry won't be suspicious to anything." Sirius said nodding.
"I'll call him." Lupin said, throwing some powder into the fire after kicking anyway some of Sirius's assorted junk. "Ron, could you come here for a moment?" he called into the flames.
"Yes Harry? Professor Lupin?!" Ron questioned as he came into the room.
"Yes?"
"Why do you have Harry's voice?" Ron asked, his eyebrows raised in question.
Remus raised an eyebrow before realizing that he had not taken the spell off. "Sorry," he said, Harry's voice squeaking in that manner it had whenever the boy was horroribly embarrassed. He pointed his wand at his throat, muttering again before saying in his normal voice, "Better?"
"Much. You are lucky that Harry was in the loo, I thought it was a practical joke. He's done a lot more of those lately thanks to some one. Anyway, what is it you wanted?" Ron had said all of this in one breath. His ears turned red with embarrassment at the fact he blurted that out like some school girl.
Remus smiled, winking at Ron. "The someone responsible for Harry's new found love of practical jokes is in need of your help."
"Aw, Harry's not that bad . . . is he?" Sirius asked with hope. "We'll make him a marauder yet." He added grinning after getting an affirmative Ron.
"What do you need help with? Please make it quick if you wanted to keep it a secret. I'm sure Harry's going to be back real soon," Ron said with his most sarcastic voice.
"Ummm...This could be embarrassing..."Sirius started.
"Embarrassing? How?" asked Ron, now quite interested.
"Do you know if Harry has a...has a.... has a...." Sirius kept blundering on the word.
"DoyouknowifHarryhasapracitcesnitch?" he said all at once.
"Huh?" Ron asked utterly confused but had a huge smile on his face thinking, Yep, Lupin is right they are made of the same stuff, especially when embarrassed.
"Er, Professor, could you repeat that?"
"What Professor Black is trying to say Ron is does Harry have a practice snitch?" Lupin asked plainly obviously enjoying the scene that was playing out.
"Oh, you still haven't gotten him a Christmas present? It's December twenty- second, Sirius!" Ron said playing along.
"Oh of course I have Ron that's why we've called you here. Of course I haven't yet." Sirius said flustered.
Ron smirked, "Geez, this is really eating away at you, huh?"
"Ron can you just be a good Gryffindor and answer the question? Please!" Sirius said in a pleading voice.
"Okay, but will my response affect my Creatures grade?"
"No. It won't" Lupin assured before Sirius could open his mouth.
Ron nodded before saying "Nope, and I saw him staring at a picture of one in Which Broomstick if that helps any."
"Yes! Ron, thank you so much...now get going and please keep it a secret. If not someone will find a bad prank in their trunk." Sirius said with a smirk on his face.
Ron grinned, "Don't worry; I'll keep my mouth shut. Do you want a copy of the magazine too?"
"Yes please. Ron if not too much trouble could you circle the one that he's been looking for?" Sirius asked hopefully.
"Sure, be right back. Can I use the fireplace?"
"Go ahead...Oh and Ron what about Harry?" Sirius asked a nervous edge to his voice. "If he's back I mean?"
"I'll handle him," the red-head promised.
"Oh and Ron...Thanks" Sirius said as the boy headed towards the fire
"No problem."
A minute later the teenage reappeared, the newest issue of a Which Broomstick in hand.
"Ron thank you so much. I'll reimburse you for the Which Broomstick all right?" Sirius said taking the book from Ron.
"Don't mention it." Said Ron with a grin. "It's in the What Does it Take? column; under the part about making it as a pro Seeker."
"Thanks again Ron." Sirius said as he started flipping through the book.
"What?" Sirius asked looking at Remus after Ron had gone.
"Nothing, nothing, not a thing," Remus said hastily.
"Uh-huh and I'm a hinkypunk...Now what is going on?" Sirius asked now highly curious. "Or I can just bug you until you tell me" he added with a glint in his eye.
Remus rolled his eyes, "I've never seen such an . . . unattractive hinkypunk."
"Unattractive? Humph I'll have you know that I was one of the contestants for Witches Weekly's best smile of 1979, my dear wolf." Sirius said flashing his smile.
"Note the date, 1979," Remus said smirking. "Find the article yet?"
"Well let's see what would have happened if I hadn't visited Azkaban." Sirius said while looking at the pages " . . . ah, here it is." he added with triumph.
Sirius read the ad aloud, "The Bullet! This is a one of a kind practice snitch. It has been pre- spelled to do hundreds of different hide and seek techniques. Never the same twice! The most realistic practice snitch ever manufactured. So try it now don't delay, limited supply only. The perfect Christmas gift for the Seeker in your family."
"Sounds good doesn't it?" Remus said with a smile.
"Yeah!" Sirius said a little half-heartedly.
"What's wrong Padfoot? You needed a gift, you have one. Why sound so glum?" Remus asked sitting down next to his friend.
"Finding it."
"What do you mean finding it? So, sometimes it takes time, especially when it's for those you love." Remus said knowingly." Remember how much trouble James went through to find Lily's gift?" He added.
Sirius snorted, before grinning "I although won't have to go that far."
"You complain like that was the case though." Remus added grinning broadly.
Sirius smacked his friend upside the head before grabbing his cloak, and heading for the door, "All I have to do it call in a favor."
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: Who invited you?
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: A necktie invited you?
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: What? You lost me.
Sirius: Necktie!
Whisp: While I go and try to figure out Sirius's psyche, how about you go read the chapter?
Thank you:
Miranda Flairgold: I'm going to answer what Longo said once and once only, so you get the long awaited answer! Drum roll please! *Sirius bangs pot* Thank you! Norman Longo said: "A star shines upon the hour of our meeting."
Hound of Death: How's my most annoying reviewer? I mean that in the best sense, ya know. Ah, the eternal question: Who is the better author, J. K. Rowling or J. R. R. Tolkien?
Eva Phoenix Potter: Yup, that was Elven, my accent marks didn't show up though so it's not politically correct. For what Longo said check Miranda Flairgold's review. Writing a Quidditch match? May the Force be with you!
WhiteIckyThing: Get up here you! *drags WhiteIckyThing on stage* You get the gold star this chapter! * There it is. That website you gave me just about saved my life, thank you so much! And you also translated what Longo said correctly!
Wolf of Solitude: You found me out, you clever wolf you! *rips off disguise* I REALLY am J. K. Rowling! I'm writing this amazingly plot twisted story just to entertain you before book five comes out, aren't I nice to my fans? *Sirius walks in and rips off J. K. Rowling mask to reveal a teenage girl* Okay, okay, I'm not really JKR, but I did have fun pretending for a minute there.
Longo is oozing mystery? I like that! Longo is around for the long haul. You'll be seeing a lot more of him in future chapters.
As for Sirius, you'll be getting your fill of him and Remus in the next few chapters. Harry bashing comes later so get your Kleenex ready!
Shadow: Put down the Coke can! I'm working on it! I am! Just put down the coke can! Or no more Book of Ages either.
vmr: Thank you!
Lavander Ice: Writing a Quidditch match, poor Ice! Longo is, in a nutshell, an enigma.
Keara Jordan: I love writing Lee, he's a lot like me when I have to commentate something (I'm forced to do the boy's basketball games sometimes) SIRIUS and AGAGORN and HARRY and FRODO forever! Personally, I think McGonagall is going to cry when the twins and Lee graduate and she can't yell at them anymore.
tima: Thank you! Isn't Sirius wonderful?
T. Cairpre: How ya doin' buddy? Yes, you are correct and you get a gold star *! *sticks gold star on T. Cairpre's forehead* There you go, my Elven expert!
Tschubi-chan: So true about Quidditch matches. Aragorn is my favorite too, followed by Frodo, and . . . .
Sandrine Black: Thanks! Please direct you attention to Miranda Flairgold's thank you for the translation to that.
Shaynie: Thank you!
Thank you to my betas: Essence of Magic, Immia, and sweets! They all helped me come up with . . . well you'll see in the chapter!
Special Thank You: A special thank you to sweets who co-wrote this chapter with me! If it wasn't for her I'd still be working on it! How about a round of applause for sweets! *applauds*
Sequel to Harry Potter and the Emerald Eye. (I suggest you read that first, but you don't have to, it's just a good idea.) Harry's in for quite a year when he starts seeing things that no one else can, is it a dream? Or is he really going crazy? Questions start arising like what did Voldemort do to his victim after he killed them? This has it all; mystery, insanity, a lot of Sirius and Remus, and everyone calls Harry a lunatic at least once! ;)
Disclaimer - This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I own the plot and a few original things. Elven itself all belongs to the master himself J. R. R. Tolkien.
Chapter 8: It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like . . .
There was a definite winter feeling in the Hogwart's air. Perhaps, it was the fact that the ground was covered with a thick layer of snow or that whenever they left Potions their skin was blue. Whatever it may have been, the snow or the skin, there were two things that were certain: Christmas was coming and Harry Potter was in a rut.
This was made very obvious to Ron as he watched Harry pace the length of the dorm room for the hundredth time.
"Ron!" the raven-haired boy said suddenly, a desperate edge to his voice. "You have to help me!"
Ron looked up from the magazine his was reading, "Why don't you just ask him?"
"Oh, sure, that'll go over brilliantly," snarled Harry. "Try again."
"Well, if you're that desperate there's always the old standby."
Harry stopped short "Standby? What standby?"
Ron turned another page before saying, "A seasonal necktie."
Harry flopped onto his bed and threw a pillow over his face groaning "I'm doomed!"
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You're always doomed."
Harry threw a pillow at him.
Ron dodged the pillow, still smirking.
"Or a box of seasonal cond—"
"No, I don't that'll go over well either." Harry said quickly. "What's that issue about?" he asked, pointing to the magazine.
"What does it take? Ten ways of improving your performance and your way to the pros," said Ron imitating Ludo Bagman's announcer voice, handing Harry the magazine.
Harry took the magazine and started skimmed it before his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.
"What is it?" Ron inquired, scrambling on Harry's bed.
"Look!" whispered Harry, pointing at an ad.
Ron's eyes widened as he read the ad, whispering "What would you do for that?"
"Anything."
~~~
Harry stared morosely at the falling snow the next day; he still hadn't found a gift for Sirius.
"It can't be that difficult Harry." Hermione said as Ron's queen knocked out her knight. "Just get him a nice flannel shirt or a necktie."
Harry let out a strangled cry, "He doesn't even wear neckties!"
Ron chuckled while Hermione rolled her eyes "I was only trying to help."
"I know," said Harry sullenly. "Thanks anyway."
"You know Harry—check—why don't you go ask Lupin?" suggested Ron, surveying the chessboard. "He probably knows what Sirius likes better than us."
Harry's eyes lit up as he dashed up to the dormitory and back down a second later, Marauder's Map in hand, yelling "Thanks Ron!" over his shoulder.
"Checkmate." Ron said as he took Hermione's king.
Harry wandered down several corridors; the map said Lupin was in his old office. When he reached the door he knocked tenitively.
"Come in!" called Lupin.
Harry entered quietly, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
"Hello Harry." Lupin said cheerfully putting down the book he was reading. "What can I help you with today?"
"Er . . . I, er . . . it's about Sirius." Harry blurted out.
"What has the old dog done this time?" Lupin sighed with a smile.
"Nothing, it just . . . I . . . it's me!" Harry babbled, pacing the office. "Well, it's for . . . I really want to get him something special because he's, like my parent . . . like my dad in a way, you know? And I've tried, I really have! And everybody says just get him a seasonal necktie, but—"
"Sirius doesn't wear neckties." Lupin interrupted.
"Exactly! And then Hermione says get him a flannel shirt—"
"He wears those . . . sometimes."
Groaning, Harry continued, "And then Ron said to talk to you and that's why I'm here. Help me, I'm desperate!" He collapsed in the nearest chair and stared pleadingly at Lupin.
Lupin was silent for a minute or two before saying, "Harry, I've known Sirius since he was eleven and the first thing I ever learned about him was that he was and still is a complete bookworm."
Harry burst out laughing," Sirius?! My godfather Sirius? A bookworm? Ha!"
"He doesn't seem the type, does he? But he is. He's very smart, don't forget that."
"I know, he has got to be." Harry said quietly.
"Why do you say that?" asked Lupin, interested.
Harry gulped, "You won't tell him I told you this, it's suppose to a secret."
"Cross my heart, may I tickle a sleeping dragon if I lie." Lupin promised.
Leaning across the desk, Harry said just above a whisper "He's teaching me Elven."
Lupin's face broke into a grin, "Well, Harry I think we've just solved your problem."
"We have?" Harry said blankly.
"Think, what does Sirius obsess over?"
"Me." Harry muttered dully. Sirius could be overly protective at times.
"Try again."
"Girls? I can't get him a girl! That's illegal!"
Lupin shook his head, "No, no! Well, yes he is obsessed with girls, but try again."
"His hair?"
Lupin chuckled, "Also true, but no."
"Er, um," Harry searched Lupin's face for a clue. "Elven?"
"You're getting warmer."
Harry sighed, trying to clear his mind. Sirius was obsessed with Elven and he was a bookworm so . . . he got it. "He's obsessed with—"
"Exactly," Lupin grinned.
"Thanks Professor! You're the best!" Harry said, sprinting out of the room and right into Sirius. "Sorry, Sirius! See you later!"
"Where's the fire?" Sirius shouted after his godson, before stomping into Lupin's office, looking decidedly grumpy. He collapsed in the same chair Harry had been sitting in.
"What have you been doing?" Lupin asked curiously, observing that Sirius's hair was covered with snow.
"Same thing I've been doing for the past week. Combing Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley for a Christmas present for Harry," Sirius grumbled, shaking the snow from his hair.
Lupin shook his head, smirking, "Let me guess, no luck?"
"None whatsoever," Sirius buried his head in his hands. "I never thought this would be so bloody hard."
"Why do you say that? I'm sure Harry will like anything you get him. You've never missed yet."
"There's a first time for everything." Sirius said wryly. "And at this rate he'll end up with a seasonal necktie."
"How about something that we know Harry's crazy about?" Lupin suggested, holding back a laugh.
"Cho Chang?"
Lupin's eyes widened, before banging his head against the desk. "Try again Padfoot!" he said in mid-bang.
"Ginny Weasley? I thought Harry's just her friend."
"She is, and try again!" growled Lupin, deciding that Sirius and his godson were definitely cut from the same cloth.
"Quidditch! That has to be it!" Sirius said with hopeful triumph.
"Since the girls are out," he muttered under his breath.
"He does have a brain!" cried Lupin joyfully, conjuring a mortarboard and jamming it on Sirius's head.
"So that's what's up there" Sirius said sarcastically, patting the cap. "But after Pitch Black who knows what's left." He added with a bit of a growl at the memory.
"We're playing Pitch Black again tomorrow." The werewolf reminded his friend. "Holiday treat."
"Noooooo! I'm calling in sick tomorrow." Sirius said with mirth.
"Then I'll teach Harry the spell, and he can turn you into a hanky sack whenever he gets annoyed with you." Lupin threatened.
"I'll be there...just what he needs arsenal if he ever gets mad at me...Just don't you dare teach him that spell," Sirius said sighing in defeat. But he did pick up a pillow and threw it at Lupin. "Hope you like howling" Sirius added under his breath.
Lupin glared at Sirius when it hit him in the shoulder, "Don't start, you still need a present for Harry, and if you and your godson do that again you'll both find yourselves in the holiday spirit . . . as tree ornaments."
Sirius glared at Remus. "You're no fun, you do know that don't you?" he said pouting
Lupin smirked, "I'm honored, now back to Harry. We've--you've sorry-- settled on getting him something to do with Quidditch, correct?"
"Yes but what? Moony heeeeeellllllllp!" Sirius pleaded with his friend
"Well, I would have recommended that new book . . ."
"No Moony, Hermione gets him those all the time." Sirius said shooting down the idea.
"She didn't, I checked, and do you even know what it's about?" Lupin said with a Marauder smile.
"Okay, oh wonderful wolf I'll bite what is it about?" Sirius asked totally defeated, at the idea of getting his godson yet another book.
"It's call 105 Ways to Perfect Your Skills as a Seeker."
"Hundred and five, at least it's original." Sirius said with some sorrow edging his voice.
"Moony, I don't know. Do you think he'd like it?" he added with some defeat noticeable.
"With helpful diagrams, conversations with world-class Seekers, and information applying to the U.K. Jr. Quidditch team," Remus added, ignoring his friend's last question.
"Okay that doesn't sound too bad, but Moony I swear if he leaves me to go to the Jr. Quidditch team I'm blaming you." Sirius added slightly amused now at the thought of what a good book his friend suggested.
"You can blame me." Remus smirked. "But giving him two of the same book is really a bit senseless."
"Two? You already got it for him?" Sirius asked surprised.
"Uh huh." Remus's smirk broadened.
"Moony, why did you suggest it to me then?" Sirius asked whining at his friend.
"To see the look on your face." Lupin said over his friend's loud sigh. "If it is any consolation, Harry's going through the same hell as to what to get you."
"Really? But Harry doesn't have to get me anything. After what the Dursleys' did, I want to spoil him rotten." Sirius said truthfully, looking astonished that Harry wanted to give him anything.
"Cut from the exact same cloth," chuckled Lupin.
"What do you mean by that?" Sirius asked curiosity peaked.
Lupin pointed his wand at his throat and muttered something, before saying in a voice exactly like Harry's, "But he's my parent, Remus! I really want to get him something special, I mean he gave me the Firebolt and all, and he's like . . . well . . . my dad in a way, you know?"
"Harry said that?" Sirius asked surpirsed."Why didn't he tell me?"
"Sirius, he'll never say that directly to you." Lupin said still in Harry's voice. "He thinks you'll get mad at him for saying something like that, he knows you're not his father but that doesn't stop him from wanting you to be his dad in the grand scheme of things."
"But I am adopting him. Besides I know that Harry has a father. I am going to make sure Harry knows about both of his parents. Moony how can I tell him I won't be angry with him. I am not good at this parenting thing. HELP ME!!" Sirius pleaded desperately to his friend.
"By the way Moony, if you ever tell Harry I was this desperate, you'll be howling for a month" He added with a grin.
"You seem to be getting along quite well from what I've seen, the boy has you on a pedestal by now, and Harry knows without you telling him. Didn't you notice when we were in that forest last summer how every time something alarming happened he would be next to you in a moment?" Lupin said meaningfully. "I think we should stay with the "Seeker" theme for a present, by the way."
"Hmm, has anyone ever given him a practice snitch?" Sirius asked since his memory tended to be like a sieve at times, though he'd never admit it.
Lupin's eyes grew very large, "No, not that I know of."
"Moony, try to grab Ron tomorrow and make sure. If the answer is no, then I'd say bingo." Sirius said with now a huge grin on his face.
"Besides, he doesn't know about the house now does he, Moony?" Sirius added with a sly, secretive grin.
"Remember now what's in the back of the old mansion now..." Sirius said since his friend remained silent.
"You're going back there when school's out, huh?" Lupin said, sounding mildly surprised.
"Why not? It's been in my family for a long time and it just happens to have the Quidditch pitch that we used during the times we were home." Sirius said winking. "Where better to put the book and practice snitch to use? Besides he won't get clobbered by any Bludgers while only practicing." he added as a side comment
Lupin nodded sagely, before asking "Do you want me to get Ron?"
"You're right better to do it tonight huh? That way Harry won't be suspicious to anything." Sirius said nodding.
"I'll call him." Lupin said, throwing some powder into the fire after kicking anyway some of Sirius's assorted junk. "Ron, could you come here for a moment?" he called into the flames.
"Yes Harry? Professor Lupin?!" Ron questioned as he came into the room.
"Yes?"
"Why do you have Harry's voice?" Ron asked, his eyebrows raised in question.
Remus raised an eyebrow before realizing that he had not taken the spell off. "Sorry," he said, Harry's voice squeaking in that manner it had whenever the boy was horroribly embarrassed. He pointed his wand at his throat, muttering again before saying in his normal voice, "Better?"
"Much. You are lucky that Harry was in the loo, I thought it was a practical joke. He's done a lot more of those lately thanks to some one. Anyway, what is it you wanted?" Ron had said all of this in one breath. His ears turned red with embarrassment at the fact he blurted that out like some school girl.
Remus smiled, winking at Ron. "The someone responsible for Harry's new found love of practical jokes is in need of your help."
"Aw, Harry's not that bad . . . is he?" Sirius asked with hope. "We'll make him a marauder yet." He added grinning after getting an affirmative Ron.
"What do you need help with? Please make it quick if you wanted to keep it a secret. I'm sure Harry's going to be back real soon," Ron said with his most sarcastic voice.
"Ummm...This could be embarrassing..."Sirius started.
"Embarrassing? How?" asked Ron, now quite interested.
"Do you know if Harry has a...has a.... has a...." Sirius kept blundering on the word.
"DoyouknowifHarryhasapracitcesnitch?" he said all at once.
"Huh?" Ron asked utterly confused but had a huge smile on his face thinking, Yep, Lupin is right they are made of the same stuff, especially when embarrassed.
"Er, Professor, could you repeat that?"
"What Professor Black is trying to say Ron is does Harry have a practice snitch?" Lupin asked plainly obviously enjoying the scene that was playing out.
"Oh, you still haven't gotten him a Christmas present? It's December twenty- second, Sirius!" Ron said playing along.
"Oh of course I have Ron that's why we've called you here. Of course I haven't yet." Sirius said flustered.
Ron smirked, "Geez, this is really eating away at you, huh?"
"Ron can you just be a good Gryffindor and answer the question? Please!" Sirius said in a pleading voice.
"Okay, but will my response affect my Creatures grade?"
"No. It won't" Lupin assured before Sirius could open his mouth.
Ron nodded before saying "Nope, and I saw him staring at a picture of one in Which Broomstick if that helps any."
"Yes! Ron, thank you so much...now get going and please keep it a secret. If not someone will find a bad prank in their trunk." Sirius said with a smirk on his face.
Ron grinned, "Don't worry; I'll keep my mouth shut. Do you want a copy of the magazine too?"
"Yes please. Ron if not too much trouble could you circle the one that he's been looking for?" Sirius asked hopefully.
"Sure, be right back. Can I use the fireplace?"
"Go ahead...Oh and Ron what about Harry?" Sirius asked a nervous edge to his voice. "If he's back I mean?"
"I'll handle him," the red-head promised.
"Oh and Ron...Thanks" Sirius said as the boy headed towards the fire
"No problem."
A minute later the teenage reappeared, the newest issue of a Which Broomstick in hand.
"Ron thank you so much. I'll reimburse you for the Which Broomstick all right?" Sirius said taking the book from Ron.
"Don't mention it." Said Ron with a grin. "It's in the What Does it Take? column; under the part about making it as a pro Seeker."
"Thanks again Ron." Sirius said as he started flipping through the book.
"What?" Sirius asked looking at Remus after Ron had gone.
"Nothing, nothing, not a thing," Remus said hastily.
"Uh-huh and I'm a hinkypunk...Now what is going on?" Sirius asked now highly curious. "Or I can just bug you until you tell me" he added with a glint in his eye.
Remus rolled his eyes, "I've never seen such an . . . unattractive hinkypunk."
"Unattractive? Humph I'll have you know that I was one of the contestants for Witches Weekly's best smile of 1979, my dear wolf." Sirius said flashing his smile.
"Note the date, 1979," Remus said smirking. "Find the article yet?"
"Well let's see what would have happened if I hadn't visited Azkaban." Sirius said while looking at the pages " . . . ah, here it is." he added with triumph.
Sirius read the ad aloud, "The Bullet! This is a one of a kind practice snitch. It has been pre- spelled to do hundreds of different hide and seek techniques. Never the same twice! The most realistic practice snitch ever manufactured. So try it now don't delay, limited supply only. The perfect Christmas gift for the Seeker in your family."
"Sounds good doesn't it?" Remus said with a smile.
"Yeah!" Sirius said a little half-heartedly.
"What's wrong Padfoot? You needed a gift, you have one. Why sound so glum?" Remus asked sitting down next to his friend.
"Finding it."
"What do you mean finding it? So, sometimes it takes time, especially when it's for those you love." Remus said knowingly." Remember how much trouble James went through to find Lily's gift?" He added.
Sirius snorted, before grinning "I although won't have to go that far."
"You complain like that was the case though." Remus added grinning broadly.
Sirius smacked his friend upside the head before grabbing his cloak, and heading for the door, "All I have to do it call in a favor."
