Rurouni Kenshin

Eyes on Me

Chapter 5 ~ Kenshin's Story

By: C-Chan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  Do you think they'd trust someone like me with an anime series?

Warnings: A real warning!  Angst, brief mention of suicide, self-injury, and more angst.  If anything like this bothers you, I suggest you just skim the next couple of paragraphs.   

Notes: Wow…Kenshin was right.  I got a couple of threats that last chapter….;;

Wheee….TO CHAPTER 5!  The one you've been waiting for!

……

            Kaoru nodded and complied, gently unbuckling the straps holding Kenshin down.  He sat up slowly, examining his injured hand before settling both in his lap.  With a deep breath, he closed his eyes again and began…

.……

"It started when I was eighteen," He said, pausing to looking down at his hands.  "I met a girl in college named Tomoe…and we became best friends.  Throughout college we did everything together; talked, shared secrets…she had an older brother that visited every so often from where he was attending school, and he didn't like me much.  He always told me I wasn't good enough for his sister.  I guess he thought we were romantically involved, but in truth we weren't…much.

"We were just starting into a relationship when the rumors of a serial killer stalking around the college started.  Not many people—including myself and Tomoe—paid no attention to it, because of what they were, rumors.  There weren't any articles in the newspaper about it, nothing on the news, not even the teachers said anything.  So it wasn't' a bit deal.  Then one night…"

            Kenshin paused, his fists clenching tightly in his hand.  Kaoru gently reached over to grasp one of his hands in hers, squeezing it to reassure she was here while he dove into his dark past.  Squeezing back, Kenshin sighed and continued in a soft tone.  "Then one night our junior year, I walked her home after going to dinner.  She only lived a few blocks from my dorm, and it was something of an annual thing for me to do.  I left her on her doorstep, promising to call her the next day after class.  She nodded and smiled at me, then turned to get her house key out of her purse.  I headed down the street and was just turning the corner when I heard a scream.

"At first I thought it was some high school kids playing around down the block, but I heard it again and recognized the voice…I ran back to Tomoe's house and found her…on the porch…." A lump formed in his throat, and he squeezed Kaoru's hand tighter, forcing back the tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

"Her brother blamed me for anything.  He said that it was my fault that she died because I couldn't protect her.  He forbade me from going to the funeral too.  I guess you could say that's when I started to hurt myself."

            Releasing Kaoru's hand gently, Kenshin lifted the sleeve of his robe to reveal the scars crisscrossing his wrists.  He ran his fingers over a few before dropping the sleeve again.  "I got so angry at myself that it was the only way for me to control it.  If I hurt myself, it stopped me from eventually hurting someone else.

"I dropped out of college and went to live with my uncle, the one I told you about.  He's not an emotional person, so he left me alone to deal with my own demons, I guess you could say.  He tried to introduce me back into Kenjutsu as an output for my anger, but it didn't help.  A few years passed and I eventually got over it as much as I could.  I got a job, my own apartment, some semblance of a normal life even if I hurt whenever I was angry, but then…"

            Kenshin's sad face suddenly turned hard, and he glared at the opposite wall, his normally peaceful amethyst eyes blazing to a deep violet surrounded with amber.  He clenched his fists tightly, the knuckles turning bright white.  "I met Tomoe's brother again while working in a restaurant…I believe his name is Enishi…he started reminding me of everything, how I couldn't protect her, how I couldn't protect the happiness I gave her…he told me I was better off dead than risking anyone else's happiness with my foolish heart."

"That's terrible!" Kaoru exclaimed, her expression angry.  "How could someone say that to you?  It wasn't your fault!"

"It was, Kaoru." Kenshin said softly, his face sad once again.  "I didn't protect her.  I heard about the rumors and dismissed them like it was nothing."

"Kenshin…" Kaoru whispered, her eyes watering.  He's hurting so much…

            Kaoru got up and sat next to Kenshin, wrapping her arms around his lean chest.  He leaned into her embrace, resting his head on her shoulder.  "At first I didn't listen to him.  I just ignored what he said and tried to continue with my life…but then…" He cleared his throat and looked up at Kaoru.  "Do you remember last month when Jinei Udo was finally apprehended?"
            Kaoru nodded.  He called himself Jinei the Manslayer…he killed over a hundred girls over the course of ten years…  "It was on every news station, but Kenshin…"
"He was the man who killed Tomoe." Kenshin interrupted softly.  "Seeing his face on the news, knowing that if I could have protected her and maybe even prevented the other girls he killed from being murdered…I just lost it.

"I don't remember much after that…I remember waking up in my apartment with a hangover, then passing out…then waking up in the ER as a suicide attempt." He said softly; his shoulders were shaking slightly, and Kaoru hugged him tighter.

"Did you try to kill yourself?" Kaoru whispered into his hair.

"I don't know…I don't remember anything." Kenshin whispered back, hiding his face in her shoulder.  "Even so, I wish I had died…"

            And with that, he broke down.  His shoulders shook as harsh sobs wracked his body, and he turned completely into Kaoru, allowing her to cradle him like a mother would a child.  She rubbed his back soothingly, whispering little words to the red-head to try and calm him.

            Eventually, his sobs calmed down to small hiccups, but he continued to lean against Kaoru, allowing her to guide him out of the darkness he'd wandered into.  And Kaoru continued to hold him, hoping that she could help Kenshin escape the demons that haunted him.

            The door opened and Sanosuke sauntered in, a greeting falling silent on his lips as he saw the couple on the bed.  He frowned and slowly closed the door behind him, closing the blinds so no one else could peek in out of curiosity and so Megumi wouldn't walk by and see her patient out of his restraints.  He walked over to Kenshin and Kaoru and sat down silently, placing a gentle hand on Kenshin's slightly trembling shoulders.

            The red-head jumped at the unexpected touch, his amethyst eyes darting over to meet concerned chocolate brown.  Sanosuke smirked slightly and joined them, wrapping his arms around both of them.

"Sano…" Kenshin said, giving a shaky smile in return.

            The sound of his voice on Kenshin's lips made Sanosuke's smile grow, and he rested his head against Kenshin's.  "Like I told the missy…I'm here for you, man.  I always have been."

"Thank you." Kenshin whispered, closing his eyes.

^_^

            Megumi looked up from her paperwork as a tall man approached her, probably standing about as tall as Sanosuke, give or take a few inches.  He greeted her with an incline of the head.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"I was wondering if you could tell me if someone was brought in here a few weeks ago," The man said firmly, his tone demanding.

            Megumi straightened her back and placed her clipboard down.  "Well, do you know the person's name?" She asked with a hint of annoyance in her voice.  She did NOT like being talked to in that tone of voice.

"Kenshin Himura." The man replied just as firmly.

            Megumi's eyes widened slightly, and she nodded slowly.  "Yes, he was.  But I'm afraid that visiting hours are over, sir."

            Something brief flashed in the man's unusually-colored eyes, but his face remained impassive, showing nothing.  "Thank you." And with that, he walked right back out the ER doors and into the night.

            Megumi raised an eyebrow, then picked up her clipboard.  Men.  She huffed mentally.

Notes:  Dun dun dun!  Here's the story you've been waiting for.  I hope it answers most of your questions, and yet again…gives you more to think about!  Yes, C-Chan is attempted the ever-famous-yet-very-hard PLOT TWIST!  Mwhahaha!  *Ahem*  Any guesses to who that strange man was? 

Request:  I can't seem to decide who I want to introduce next, so I've decided to ask all of you, my friendly neighborhood reviewers!  I will not explain why, though.  That's a surprise!  So, the choices are…

Enishi…

Or….

Saitou…

Choose your poison, folks!  And depending on that is where the story goes next!  I do promise both characters will be making an appearance because of the 'nature' of the next couple of chapters, so yeah.  Oh!  Another introduction is coming up next chapter!  It's everyone's favorite smiling psycho-boy, Soujiro!  Also, Aoshi and Misao returned in their ever-faithful roles, so be on the lookout!  Ja!