A Mediocre Tekken Christmas Fanfic!
by Makaveli (makaveli_580@hotmail.com) and Haru (Kagome0803@aol.com)

[Haru: ...Your name's not going first.
Makaveli: ...But I did most of the actual work.
Haru: But it's going on my account.
Makaveli: ...FINE.]

A Mediocre Tekken Christmas Fanfic!
by Haru (Kagome0803@aol.com) and Makaveli (makaveli_580@hotmail.com)

A/n: It's... uh... an X-Mas story. What more do you want from us dammit?!

Disclaimer: Does we own Tekken or anything pardoy'ed in this crappy piece of fanfiction? Oh, no, no, no.

Chapter One—Pissing off Xiaoyin fans is fun
--------------------------------------------------------
Jin woke up and looked up at the ceiling.

"An unfamiliar ceiling," he sighed. "I mean… uh… it's morning. I guess." He sat up and looked at the calendar. Jin sighed again. Why? 'Cause angsty characters like to sigh.

Anyways—

He sighed, for… today was the lame day that his lame family was lamely throwing their lame Christmas party.

Did we get the point he thought this was the epitome of lame-ness across adequately?

Jin yawned and walked into the dining room and stared with wide eyes before pointing and saying…

--Start Script Format--

Jin: AHH! YOU AGAIN?!

Jun: Why are you yelling?

Heihachi: Hurry up and sit down.

Xiaoyu: Yo!

Jin: *still pointing* …It's Christmas!... YOU! What the… hell… are doing here at MY HOUSE on CHRISTMAS?! Don't you have your own family?!

Jun: Didn't I tell you your little girlfriend was coming to help?

Heihachi: Yes, yes, she's going to help Jun preparing for the annual holiday party. She told us she's going to lean our Christmas traditions now that she's going to marry you.

Jin: WHAT?! She's definitely not marrying me! How could someone as much of a sexy bishie as I am… go off and start a family before I'm done sowing my oats?!

Xiaoyu: Oats? Oats boats floats! *pulls out mallet and hits Jin* THAT JOKE SUCKS!

Jin: Ow! IT WAS YOUR STUPID JOKE!!

Xiaoyu: Well, I needed to know how Christmas is ran… so we can try it next year… ALONE!!

Jun and Jin: WHAT?!

Jin: *stomping off* I would never marry you.

Xiaoyu: *jumps and tackles him* Oh, no, Jin-Jin you're just being shy like always! You're such a kidder!

Jin: STOP! STOP! GET OFF ME!

Xiaoyu: But you're so warm… and big… and manly

Lee: *frowning* I wish girls would say that about me.

Heihachi: Oh yes, it would be nice to have a beautiful fatal attraction like that again.

--End Script Format--

The conversations didn't cease as Jin shoved off Xiaoyu and stomped out, successfully this time. He sighed, rubbing his temples. He needed back-up. Who wouldn't have an invitation that he could call?

Getting an idea, he took out the phone book until he found the right number, and placed a call.

"Yeah, I'd like to order two pepperoni pizzas. Mishima Manor. Name? Kazuya Mishima. You take cash yes? …Great. Yes. Thank you. Bye."

Thirty minutes later, in the Mishima living room—

"Jin-Jin what do you think of the color scheme I mean I don't think that green and red look good together but they're the Christmas colors right I mean that's what your mom told me and she wouldn't lie to me would she????"

"…What?" Jin stared at her, unsure of just what Xiaoyu had just said.

"Do you like the colors?"

"Uh… yeah… sure…"

"Oh I'm so glad Jin-Jin do you think that maybe you could take me out caroling I mean I've never been out caroling before and if I were to do that with anyone I think it'd be you and—"

The doorbell rang. Jin had never been so grateful to hear that chime and he leaped over the couch and dashed towards the door, leaving a very confused Xiaoyu behind.

"Jin-Jin like where are you going and can I go with you and didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to walk out on people when they're talking…"

Ignoring her, he threw open the door and had never in his life been so happy to see—

"Oh, GREEEAAAAT. Not only do I have to make a delivery to the Mishima estate, I have to deal with the moron Kazama, too?!" Hwoarang complained. His eyes widened with shock then narrowed in disgust as—

Jin threw his arms around his rival. "I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY IN MY LIFE!" he sobbed.

Uh, yeah, I just STATED that. Up there. *points up three paragraphs ago*

Hwoarang blinked. "What?"

Jin stopped and looked up at Hwoarang. "What?"

"I could've sworn I heard—"

"Hwoarang! Why are you here too and OMG OMG OMG what are you doing to Jin-Jin you're trying to take advantage of him again aren't you?!?!?!" Xiaoyu appeared in the doorway and yanked Jin over to her. He turned and stared at her like this: O_o. "Again?" He turned to Hwoarang, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Whoa, whoa, slow your roll. Down, girl. I'm here to deliver a pizza," Hwoarang said, blinking.

"Then where is it, huh?! HUH?! HUH?!" Xiaoyu crossed her arms and scowled at Hwoarang.

He pointed to his motorbike, which had a huge stack of pizzas.

Xiaoyu frowned. "Then why were you hugging him, huh?!?!!" she demanded.

"WHA-AAT?! He was hugging ME! I am the huggee, he is the hugger!" Hwoarang said, throwing his arms up defensively.

"You weren't putting up that much of a fight," Xiaoyu pointed out.

Hwoarang narrowed his eyes. "I didn't think it'd be right to send the damn kid to a hospital on Christmas."

"KID?! I'm older than you are, Hwoarang!" Jin snapped.

"Details, details." Hwoarang waved his arm dismissively.

"Why are you delivering pizzas here anyways??? Jin-Jin's parents and Mr. Heihachi are all helping the cooks make all the food."

"One, they were ordered, and two, we're a little short-handed so that's my job right now."

"Well then who ordered the pizzas???" Xiaoyu asked.

"I don't know. It says Mishima's supposed to pay."

"Which one, huh??? Which one???"

"Uh. Kazama's dad."

"Ooooooohhhhh, I see," Xiaoyu said. "Well I'm going to go back inside so that I can ask Mrs. Kazama about that because it doesn't seem right to me you know I mean what with the chefs working so hard to make the dinner but then again on the other hand, maybe it's just something we can eat as we're preparing for the party…" Xiaoyu trailed off, going back inside.

Jin grabbed Hwoarang by the collar, yanked him inside, shoved him against the wall and shut the door with his leg. (Mind you, this is a difficult thing to do all at once, don't try it at home. You'll end up getting your rival-slash-best friend caught in the door and fall on your ass if you do. What do you mean, you don't think that's physically possible?! …Nitpicker.)

"Oh, Jin, you're so forceful of a sudden," Hwoarang half-smirked and half-leered.

"…what?" Jin blinked at him a couple of times.

"Are you this way with everyone, or is it just me?"

"What?"

"……" Hwoarang sighed. "Nevermind. It's no use making perverted jokes if you don't understand them. It just takes all the fun out of it."

"…Okay." Jin shrugged, then narrowed his eyes at Hwoarang. "This is how it's gonna go down. Ling's here. Mom's here. I can use some backup, someone to help diffuse the situation."

"Say huh?"

"I need to keep me from going insane."

"Oh. Okay, then."

"And, Hwoarang… I need you to be that person."

"Ah. Well. No."

"No?! What do you mean 'no'?!"

"No. The opposite of yes. A turndown, a rejection, a sorry, see you later—"

Jin frowned. "Well, I'm sorry it's had to come to this, but… you can't refuse."

"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, huh, Kazama?" Hwoarang sneered.

Jin pulled out a manila envelope and opened it, very deliberately so Hwoarang would be careful to watch every move. Jin pulled out a small, pink, fuzzy book with the words My Diary written on it in fancy purple glittery script.

"Do you remember this, Hwoarang?"

"…No?"

Jin opened the book and started to read from it. " '12 May. I fought in the King of Iron Fist Tournament today against Julia Chang. She is a fighter from America. She dresses in little denim miniskirts and cut-off tank tops. I would love to see her wrestle with Nina and Anna Williams and Ling Xiaoyu in a mud-filled arena.' "

Hwoarang shrugged indifferently.

Jin showed him the front of the envelope, which was addressed to Nina Williams.

Hwoarang's eyes widened. "Oh, no, no, no!"

"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" Jin smirked.

Hwoarang scowled. "Fine. You win this round, Kazama. I'll keep yer pansy ass in check."

"FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT A PANSY!!"

"Yeah, and 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is a horrible song." Hwoarang rolled his eyes.

"It is," Jin agreed.

"Yeah, and next I suppose you're gonna tell me Metallica sucks."

"They do." He nodded.

"Oh, and Avril Lavrigne is the epitome of punk rock right now?"

"FINALLY! SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME!" Jin sighed.

Hwoarang stared at him like this: O_o. He then wondered what Jin was smoking, and as an afterthought, wondered where he could score some.
------------------------------------
Haru: Okay that's it for chapter one. So, please r&r or else Makaveli gets it. *pulls out softball bat*
Makaveli: .........Crap.
Haru: ...And then she'll never be able to write a Jin-bashing fic again... so y'all better review. Thank you! ^_^