Last Time On DDR: A Miss "Sassy Vixen" (a name that I pulled out of the air) is nearly OVER-qualified for the job but is hired anyway.

Misc Notes: Yay! I've officially put that "Burgandy Carpet" story as a seperate. . .story. I made the third part of it so check that out too! I trick Jonathan into leaving and once again, encounter those stoopid bouncer-guards. Read it!

~Mz/Chx

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Chapter 5: Sassy's Success

(A couple of weeks have passed since Sassy was hired (as well as other guards who'll die anyway) and. . .)

(Sassy is in her "office" which is actually one of those rooms that you find guards in. She seems to be typing something on her computer)

Sassy: (reading aloud) Dear mommy, I love my new job. I get to kill people and get paid for it! Life's a lot better outside the trailer park! :)

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blaaaaaah. . .Love, Sassy. *send!*

(an arrogant male guard and some buddies barge in on Sassy)

Male Guard #1: Well, well, well, who do we have here?

Male Guard #2: That must be "Sexy Sassy"!

Male Guard #3: Yeah, the new girl. . .

Sassy: Do you mind, I'm writing an important letter to my mother!!

(the guards crowd around the desk)

MG #1: (reading the letter) "Outside the trailer park?" What are ya, a fuckin' redneck?

Sassy: Yeah, so?! (I do realize the irony that Cassandra dissmissed a redneck. . .Wait, she never hired her. . .oh never mind, keep reading!)

MG #2: (scoots up on Sassy) Man, I'm lovin' those "tig-ol-bitties" ya got there.

Sassy: Get the hell away from me!

MG #3: (arm-locks Sassy) Hey, why don't you play a little "game" with us?

Sassy: (kicks MG 3 in the nutz) !!

MG #3: @#$%$$# &$%^$ *&&&^!!! (symbols incoherent swearing)

MG #1: Don't get so pissed, baby! We just want a taste. (tries to smooch Sassy)

Sassy: You can smooch the heel of my boot, asshole! (drop-kicks MG #1) You want some?!

MG #2: Um, some head would be nice! (grins)

Sassy: (drop-kicks MG #2) Christ! (walks upstairs to Cassandra's office and barges in)

Cassandra: (startled) What the devil. . .?!

Sassy: (sobbing) Ms. De Vries!! I'd like to report sexual harrassment within your company!!!

Cassandra: Come here old girl. . .(Sassy cries on her shoulder) There, there. . .

Anne: (who was off in the corner filing papers and muttering) Oh shut up, ya big baby. . .

Cassandra: I hate to tell you this but I had them do that.

Sassy: WHAT?! You sent those three morons down to try and rape me?!

Cassandra: Oh, they were never gonna rape you. (laughs) I was just trying to test your nerves!

Sassy: . . .

Cassandra: I'm truly sorry but I had to do it, and you know why?

Sassy: Why?

Cassandra: A little bird told me that (seethes) JOANNA is going to invade the lab tonight.

Sassy: Really? Joanna is going to invade the lab?

Cassandra: (groans) Is there a fucking echo in here?! Yes, so I need you to suit up in this! (hands Sassy a DataDyne Female Captain uniform)

::::Notes::::

A short description of the DataDyne Female Captain Uniform. If you can't picture the actual outfit as shown in the PD64 game for comparison, then you might have a hard time visualizing this.

The shoulder-pad things are silver-plated and the breasts are silver-plated as well. Instead of those plain button things on the shirt, there are buttons with the dataDyne logo on them. The boots have the logo on them and there are silver-plated forearm-band things. The pants are whiter and tighter and have thighpads. The collar is white and there's a belt for the pants with a DataDyne logo buckle. The boots have higher and pointier heels and have silver-plated toes. Ravishing!

::::End Notes::::

Sassy: (starry eyes) Is this for me?

Anne: What? I know. . .I KNOW that's not the captain's uniform!!

Sassy: Oh, Ms. De Vries I love it! I shall wear it with honor!

Cassandra: (smiles) That's good.

Anne: (mocks Sassy) "I shall wear it with honor--nyah!" Oh shut up!! And give me that! (snatches the uniform) You don't have the right to wear this!!!

Sassy: Why, Anne? Why are you so. . .testy?

Cassandra: She's just mad that you're wearing the uniform and she's not.

Anne: Hmph!

Sassy: But why?

Cassandra: Because you're only the second person to wear this uniform.

Anne: And guess who was the first?!

~End Chapter 5

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Another brain fart. I guess I was concentrating too much on writing the Burgandy Carpet. But hey! Writing about yourself doing stupid things and getting away with it is fun, no? And by the way, it's obvious that it's Anne, duh! Sorry to spoil the secret but it was bound to come across your mind anyway!

MzCheex@yahoo.com