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Four. Meggie
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My friend, Susan, asked me a few days ago, 'if you could have one wish what would it be?'. One wish? There's so many things I'd wish for. So many things that would bring us out of this nightmare. I'd wish for my husband to be alive. I'd wish for my daughter back. My sons. I'd wish Jude hadn't admired his father so much. I'd wish Callum never wrote that letter. I'd wish Sephy would come back to life. I'd wish for my granddaughter to be as happy as a young girl could.
And I realised as I thought that, that there was a way to have all those wishes narrowed down to one wish. 'I wish I could turn back time.' Right back to that fateful day Callum and I were sent from the Hadley's. The same day Lynette's life ended. How different everything could be if it were that simple. This day, this future could be tracked right back to that day.
I started out of my thoughts as the door opened. Callie hurried into the room with a wide smile on her face, 'Grandma! Look what Thomas made me!' She held out her arm, revealing a plastic, beaded bracelet, the coloured beads all lined along an elastic band. I smiled at her.
'It's lovely, Callie. Did you have a nice time with Nana?'
She just nodded and turned, making her way into the kitchen. My attention went to the door, when I saw Sephy enter the room. I frowned. She was fuming. 'Sephy? Is something wrong?'
'Is anything right?' she snapped back, lifting one of Callie's dolls from the armchair, before she collapsed down onto it. She lifted the doll up in direct line with her face, holding it by the sides, as she eyed it. She looked like a child in that moment, barely sixteen, not a woman of twenty-six. Her long hair fell forward to frame her face as she continued to eye the doll. After a few moments the doll was lowered and her eyes immediately met with mine.
I looked away from her, uncomfortably, feeling my cheeks heat up with a soft blush. I could see Sephy out the corner of my eye; she was still looking at me. I hesitated only a moment, before I turned my head to face her. My brows lowered as I noticed her eyes glistened somewhat. I looked over my shoulder at the kitchen door, satisfied to see Callie painting at the table. I turned my attention back to Sephy, 'What's wrong?'
She sighed loudly in exasperation, towards the subject she was about to address or to demonstrate her frustration that I'd pushed the matter further, I didn't know. 'My father's next campaign promise is the introduction of an apartheid. Similar to the one in France and Germany.'
I frowned slightly, leaning back in my chair. I actually wondered why she was so upset about it. Already Noughts and Crosses had divided themselves, lived in different sides of the country. What difference would the apartheid make? I leaned forward and told her what I'd just been thinking.
'But it makes it all official, doesn't it?' Sephy responded, 'I won't be welcome here after that. Even if I were, we're likely to be uprooted and sent to another part of the country. And Rose…what side would she qualify?'
Rose. She never calls her Callie.
'The next election isn't for another three years, yet, Honey,' I attempted to assure her, 'Callie will be old enough to understand by then. She's neither Nought nor Cross. That's the best place to be.'
'Discriminated by both sides?'
We've had this argument many times since Callie was born. Neither Nought nor Cross. She was in the perfect place to fight for the cause. She was on neither side and had the blood of both. If only both sides would see it that way, all they saw was the other side. The side they opposed to. But as I thought more and more about it, Callie Rose was going to grow up a Nought. She was accepted somewhat by my kind. She would grow up with my kind. I didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing. So much pain. So much suffering. But justice…
I looked over at Sephy, who had now fixed her attention on the television. I hesitated a moment. I didn't want to suggest it. But I knew I had to. She shouldn't feel trapped here if there was a way out. 'Sephy, perhaps you should move back home with your mother.'
Silence filled the air. The atmosphere immediately went frigid and tense. I watched her demeanour go from impassive, to confusion, to frustration. She turned to look at me. 'Meggie, how many times must I tell you that this is my home? That you and Rose are my family?'
Indeed, she had told me more times than I could count. I knew we were a family. She was as dear to me as my own daughter, Lynette, and we both lived for Callie. We'd both die for Callie. I smiled at her and spoke softly, 'If you're sure…'
'Of course I'm sure, Meggie,' she interrupted me, her voice vehement. It had been a while since she spoke with such emotion. I smiled at her again and she smiled back at me. She turned back to the television and I couldn't help but think again how much her features appeared those of a teenager.
