~~~~~~~~~
Five. Callie
~~~~~~~~~

Mum's not happy again. She seemed happy when she picked me up from school, but when we left Nana's she was more than sad, she was angry. I don't see her angry very much. Usually I can't tell what she's feeling, her face is always so vacant. She must be thinking about Daddy. If she doesn't speak about her, she must think about him a lot. Well, that's why Grandma says. It doesn't make sense to me. If I'm thinking about something I always talk about it.

She was supposed to speak to me tonight. But she must've forgotten. She was angry; I didn't want to remind her in case she shouted at me again. She doesn't shout much. But she does sometimes. To Nana, especially. And Grandma.

She stopped in front of a poster today. I thought she was going to ask me if I wanted to go, but it looked like one of the really popular bands that sing in the pubs. Too young for pubs. I'm too young for a lot of things. Too young for Mum to tell me why she cries. Too young to know about my Daddy. Too young to knows the difference between me and everyone else.

Too young to know what a blanker is.

That's something I really want to know. I want to know what it means and why Mum hates it so much. It gives a name to those Cross people that shout names across to her in the street. I know they're Crosses, now. But Mum's a Cross too, so I can't call them that. I think it might upset her more. I don't want to upset her more. She's upset too much. I want to make her happy. I want to know what makes her happy.