Paige started to walk over to me, with her mouth wide open. I looked around, trying to find a way to escape. I started to walk away, and Paige ran towards me. She grabbed my arm. "OW," I shouted. All of a sudden, everyone was quiet. You could hear a pin drop, as cliché as that is.

Paige looked around and yelled, "What?" A lot of people went back to talking and eating, but it was still quieter than it should be. I was uneasy, because I knew that some people would be able to hear our confrontation. "Paige," I whispered. "No. No Ellie. You don't get to just walk away this time. I thought you were getting help."

My throat was suddenly dry. I felt tears forming in my eyes. "Let go of my arm," I demanded through gritted teeth. "No. Not until you tell me why you are still hurting yourself," challenged Paige in a harsh tone.

"LET GO OF ME," I shouted. I was crying now, tears sliding down my cheeks, dropping lightly on the floor. I twisted out of Paige's grasp, opening a few cuts along the way. I held onto my arm, trying to cover up the blood that was quickly covering that damn white arm warmer. I was scared, really scared. People were watching. They knew. I could tell. And if they didn't, the people who did know would fill them in. "Thanks a lot," I said venomously as I hurried out of the cafeteria, my shame leading the way.

I walked past lockers or walls, maybe both, I couldn't really tell them apart anymore. It was all just a blur of colors. I had stopped crying, but my eyes were still blurred from the tears. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do. I was beyond panic, beyond freaking out. I had lost all sense of reason.

What can I do? They all know now. They think I'm a freak. They know. God, they know.

I pushed open the door to the girl's washroom, after fumbling with the door knob. As soon as I walked inside, I fell down onto the ground. I was crying again. I was a mess. My once white arm warmer was completely red now. Crimson from blood. I realized I couldn't leave the washroom. I couldn't just hold my arm and cover up the blood anymore. There was too much of it. I couldn't take off the arm warmer. The cuts and scars would be visible. Not to mention the blood.

I reached into my pocket, feeling for the razor. It wasn't there. "Damn," I muttered. I looked around the washroom. What was sharp in here? Something had to be sharp. Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed the paper towel dispenser. I stumbled over to it. I gently touched it, as if to see if it was sharp enough. It was. This would work.

I took off my left arm warmer, and held my arm up to the bottom of the towel dispenser. I brought my arm down and moved it across, at least two or three times. Just as the calm started to kick in, I heard something. Voices. Oh no, oh god. I hurried over to a stall, walked inside, and shut the door. I closed the toilet seat, and sat on top of it. I made sure that any part of my body could not be seen from the bottom of the stall door.

"Ellie?" said a voice that sounded just like Paige. "Do you think she's in here?" said a voice that sounded remarkably like Ashley. "Oh no," I thought. "Ashley knows. What will she think of me?" The shame set in even more. I was humiliated. I noticed how quiet it was all of a sudden. Then I heard Paige talking. "Look. There's blood."

I froze. I held my breath, and froze. I forgot to clean the towel dispenser and the floor.

"But maybe it's not from her! Maybe someone just had their period," said Ashley, always the sensible one. "Hun, a lot of kids have their periods. The difference is, they generally don't use the towel dispenser as a tampon." "Maybe..," Ashley trailed off. "No maybes, Hun. You can try to convince yourself all you want. Ellie was here and she hurt herself again."

I felt so weird. Like I was out of my body, listening to them decide my fate.

"That's it. I'm going to get the principal," muttered Ashley.