WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? EPISODE #2

*The camera pans down to Robin*

Robin: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?, where the points don't matter and WHERE THE HECK IS STARFIRE?!?

Raven: She broke a nail after her fight with Cyborg on the last episode.

Cyborg: *from hospital bed* Broke a nail?!? She broke my HEAD, and I'm here!

Raven: Yes, well, she's not bionic. Not to make fun of you or anything.

Cyborg: 'Sokay, Rae.

Raven: Anyway, Terra offered to fill in at the last minute.

Terra: *giggles* Hi, everybody!!

Beast Boy: *swallows hard, staring at Terra* Hands sweaty...knees knocking...eyes twitching...pulse flaring...

Raven: *feels his forehead* Do you have the flu?

Sano: Hey, people, we're on a time limit here!

Robin: All righty! On to the first game!

#1- CDs

Robin: This is a for everybody! Cyborg and Raven will be announcers on an infomercial for a CD compilation, and Terra and Beast Boy will have to sing the songs. Anybody want to give them a theme? *the audience shouts suggestions* Okay, love songs from animated movies that never quite made it. Take it away!!

Cyborg: We'll be right back to "Almost Emergency: I Would Rescue You If I Knew the Number for 911." Hi, I'm Les Ismore.

Raven: And I'm Holly Enivy.

Cyborg: You know, Holly, there's nothing I like more than an animated film.

Raven: Really? Animation is so ove .

Cyborg: Well, there are fans who would disagree with you. If you're a fan of animation and a fan of romance, you'll love our twenty-seven and a half hour long CD collection, "Painted Love: The Almost Hits of Almost Famous Feature Length Animated Motion Pictures." This CD features such hits as the love song from Molly Whuppie the Giant Killer. It's a song about Molly, a belly-dancing giant killer, who kills a giant and gets a prince for a reward. So here it is, folks, "The Belly Dancing Giant Killer's Reward"!

*Soujiro starts up a calypso number. (A/N- Sung to the Hilary Duff version of "The Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room." Is that enough Tikis?)*

Terra: Oh, my name is Molly Whuppie, don't make fun of me My handsome princely groom I don't even know your first name, dear, And I fear our romance is doomed I'm a lovely belly dancer from the land of Eire I've never been married, it's a little scary I ran off and killed a giant, and your father said For my prize I'd get you since the giant's dead.

Beast Boy: My pretty Molly Whuppie, I would never mock Since you're now my wife, and since you really rock I've never met you either, but I've got to say With a pretty girl like you, my dad I'll obey There's just one that I wonder, what can I say? Why spouses are prizes- is it the fairy tale way? Why not a sack of gold, or a big box of toys? Why was a husband your reward of choice?

Raven: I've always wondered why people in fairy tales were given a mate as a reward. Now we know why!

Cyborg: That's my favorite song in the collection.

Raven: It may be your favorite, Les, but mine is definitely the song from Zlatovlaska the Golden-Haired. The song is titled "I Couldn't Have Won Your Love Without the Help of a Talking Fish."

*Soujiro plays a semi-rock song. (A/N- Sung to the tune of "Why Should I Worry?")

Beast Boy: I knew when I saw you My love for you was true You had all that golden hair All I could do was stop and stare

Terra: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Beast Boy: I'm not wise I can't improvise.

Terra: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Beast Boy: I'm not so smart But I've got the biggest heart. Still, I don't worry And I don't care I found a magic fishy-poo Now all the tongues I know I talk to birdies I talk to fishies I may be schizo But at least I still got you. I would've lost my head If the fish I'd hadn't eaten Not only am I not dead But now I wear the crown! I talk to spiders I talk to lobsters Because I talk to them I talk to Zlatovlaska!!

Robin: *hits the buzzer* That didn't rhyme. But a thousand points to Terra for belly dancing!

Beast Boy: *drool*

#2- World's Worst Robin: This is another everybody . I'll give a topic, and anyone can answer. Worst things to hear a teammate say in battle.

Cyborg: I've just decided to become a pacifist.

Terra: Um, which side am I on again?

Raven: Whoops. You were supposed to duck.

Beast Boy: I've run out of animals!

Robin: Worst pickup lines for a Titan.

Raven: You like show tunes?

Cyborg: I like shiny things. You're a shiny thing. A big shiny thing.

Terra: *snort* Yerrr puuuu-retty. *snuffle snort*

Robin: Worst comments a fan can yell at the screen to embarrass a Titan.

Beast Boy: Robin, glomp Starfire!

Robin: *ears red* *hits buzzer* That was entirely uncalled for. And PG- rated. This is a G-rated show.

Beast Boy: Sorry.

Robin: A thousand points to Raven for her pickup line.

Raven: I'm serious. That weirdo asked me that in episode #2.

Cyborg: *jaw drops* Another guy was flirting with Rae?!? This is serious...

Robin: Do it after the show, Cy.

Cyborg: *cracks knuckles*

#3- Green Screen Robin: This is a called Green Screen. Cyborg, you'll be standing in front of a screen showing film that you can't see while your teammates try to tell you what's going on without explicitly telling you.

*The clip starts to play. It shows a bunch of ghost people in old fashioned clothes dancing around a ballroom. (A/N- Sorry, it's all I can think of. My Anastasia soundtrack is playing.)

Beast Boy: Hi, I'm Seyjiro Hiko, and these are my best girls, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars.

Terra: Which one am I?

Beast Boy: Sailor Moon because you have blonde hair.

Raven: We're talking live with our on the scene reporter Dimitri Vladmir.

Cyborg: Um...as you can see, I am somewhere in...Russia?

Beast Boy: Somewhere in Russia, indeed! Near the capitol.

Cyborg: Oh, yes. I'm in lovely Leningrad-

Raven: That was its name in the eighties when one of our comic books was in circulation, but that wasn't its name originally.

Cyborg: Gotcha. I'm in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

Terra: Saint Petersburg is so beautiful, Dimitri. There's so much music.

Beast Boy: The inhabitants just can't seem to stay still.

Cyborg: Aha! I'm in a discotheque in Saint Petersburg-

Raven: *slaps forehead in disgust*

Cyborg: Not a disco?

Raven: This is fifty years before the horror of disco was created.

Cyborg: Okay, I'm in Saint Petersburg, Russia, in the middle of some sort of dance, in the 1920s. What am I missing?

Raven: Think about my mirror.

Cyborg: Are they dancing ghosts?

Robin: *hits the buzzer* Too much help between lovers. The winner is Beast Boy.

Terra: Which lovers?

Beast Boy: *points to Cyborg and Raven*

Terra: Oh. Duck and cover! *dodges the flaming comet hurling towards the fic author*

#4- Whose Line Is It Anyway? Robin: This is the the show is named after. It's for two people, this time Beast Boy and Cyborg. They'll each be given two quotes to work into their sketch. And they'll be...hm...two guys at a bar discussing their respective girlfriends.*

Cyborg: Hey, bub, you got any motor oil?

Beast Boy: I'll have the soy milk.

*They mime drinking.*

Cyborg: Hm...you have anything stronger? I need to drown my sorrows.

Beast Boy: What problems do you have?

Cyborg: I'm in love with this girl. But every time I try to tell her that I love her, she says *pulls out paper* "I'm going down to the river."

Beast Boy: That's nothing, pal. My girl likes to throw things at me. She doesn't even use her hands. It all started when I said to her *pulls out paper* "The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself."

Cyborg: Girls. They're an enigma.

Beast Boy: We just aren't communicating anymore. She's always too busy throwing stuff at me with her mind.

Cyborg: Maybe I should get one of those self-help dating books. Psychic Girls for Dummies.

Beast Boy: Well, you do know what that author says. He always says *pulls out scrap of paper* "Think of me fondly when we say goodbye."

Cyborg: Talk about advice for the ages.

Beast Boy: Definitely.

Cyborg: I should probably think about heading home. She always yells at me when I come home late. Last time she said *pulls out paper* "God is bigger than the Boogeyman."

Robin: *hits buzzer* Did you really say that to Cyborg, Raven?

Raven: Um...I have no idea.

Robin: A thousand points to both Cyborg and Beast Boy.

#5- The Hoedown

Robin: And now it's time for the traditional hoedown. Now, who won? *checks the made up points list* It's Beast Boy again.

Beast Boy: That's two!! I'm on fire, baby!

Robin: So what should this hoedown be about?

Kenshin: Excuse me, Robin-dono, but this is a message from the authoress.

Robin: Okay, folks, you're about to experience "The Flame Hoedown."

*Soujiro plays the hoedown jingle.*

Robin: Today the story's authoress, our lovely Keitorin Asthore Is hiding under her covers, she shan't walk out her door Why, do you ask, is she afraid? The answer's very plain It's really quite understandable; she's afraid of all the flames.

Terra: Oh, lots of people hate me, though I'm not quite sure why All the BB-Raven 'shippers are hoping I will die Although in the comics I was a meanie-head The cartoon is very different and I'm tired of death-threats.

Cyborg: Oh, Keitorin is a nice girl, she hopes you understand Her stories hold her own opinions, it's not to make you mad She doesn't really like the flames- to Anonomus, I can't lie But your really awful flames made the poor girl cry.

Raven: You may try to match me up with Cyborg or Beast Boy Perhaps even Robin, as long as it's a boy Keitorin's own belief is I'm best with great big Cy Just remember when reviewing, never make the authoress cry.

Beast Boy: *wipes away tear* That was a beautiful hoedown.

Robin: That's all, folks! Tip your wait staff.

Author's Note: Che, that wasn't very funny. On to the next episode!!