DISCLAIMER: I don't own Treasure Planet.

                        AN: I'm back! Finally! It's been forever since I've gotten a chapter posted. Sorry, school can be a real drag and I have a new story I'm writing. Isn't anyone interested in X-Men: Evolution or Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Anyway, to show you how much I appreciate your continued support of my fic, I've added some romance! Yay! Kisses! Maybe you suspect who I'm getting together, maybe not. Read and find out!

            To ElvenRanger: Sorry I didn't send this to you, but I wasn't sure if you were ready to start Beta-reading again. If you are please e-mail me and let me know! I really like your editing!
                        And now on with the story!

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Chapter Seven- Depression

                        The darkened room at the Benbow Inn held the still body of Jim Hawkins. His was sprawled across his bed, one had thrown over his eyes, the other hung off the bed. Curtains were pulled over the windows of the room and blocked out the sun.

            In the past three days Jim hadn't moved. He didn't want to live anymore. Alyson was dead and it was all his fault. If he hadn't killed Nathaniel's wife, if he had been more careful at Raeford, she wouldn't be dead right now. She would be with him, smiling at him, holding him and kissing him.

            Cursing, Jim fought the wave of nausea that threatened to take over him. Every time he thought about Alyson he felt like he was going to vomit.

            For the past three days he had been living a half-life. He hardly ate, didn't talk to anyone, and hadn't moved from the bed he and Alyson had once shared.

            BEN, Amelia, Morph and Sarah had tried to bring him out of his slum. But whenever they came to talk to him, Jim would ignore them and lock his door. They hadn't given up on talking to him yet, but he knew after a week or so they'd give up and maybe after a year or so… maybe then he could finally accept Alyson's death and grieve over her.

            Though he hadn't cried ever since he read the note, the tears burned his throat. He wanted to sob like a little boy. He wanted his mother to come and hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright. But Jim was a grown man and he couldn't simply tell himself everything was okay. Everything wasn't it. Everything was wrong. The woman he loved was dead and it was his fault.

            "Damn you Nathaniel." Jim said in a hoarse voice. He hadn't used his vocal cords in over three days and they hurt to be used again. Jim welcomed the pain.

            Jim raised a hand and rubbed his chin. He could feel his three-day beard and knew he looked like crap. He was still wearing the cloths that he had worn to Seymour's hospital room. He knew his hair was wild and unruly, as well as the fact that he probably had bags under his eyes. He couldn't seem to make himself care about his appearance.

            There was a sudden knock on his door and Jim shut his eyes, choosing to ignore it. He didn't feel like talking, he feared he'd never feel like talking again. What was the point?

            "Jim? Jim, I'm coming in." Jim was surprised to find that the voice was Delbert Doppler's. He hadn't seen the dog-man ever since the day at the hospital. Jim had figured Delbert had been the one person to get the fact that he didn't want to talk to anyone, but Jim guessed he was wrong.

            Jim didn't answer Delbert's question. Instead, he rolled away from the door and faced the curtain-pulled window. He hoped that if he ignored the dog-man long enough he would give up and leave Jim to wallow in self-loathing.

            But that wasn't the case. Jim heard his bedroom door creak open and listened as the footsteps came nearer to him. He pressed his face into the blankets and ignored the man that now stood at the foot of the bed.

            Delbert said nothing… he just stared at the wreck of a man before him. Jim's cloths were wrinkled horrible, like he had worn them for days, he hair was messy and that greasy look of uncleanness. He wasn't able to get a look at his face and Delbert was glad of that. He didn't want to see the helplessness and hatred that would be in the younger man's haunted blue eyes. He could tell just from Jim's posture on the bed that he was deep in depression and it would take quite a bit of work to bring him out of it.

            "Ah Jim." Delbert said helplessly. He wished he could say something comforting to the young man on the bed, but what could he say? He could only imagine what Jim had to be going through. Just thinking about losing Amelia or one of their children made him sick to his stomach. What was it like to actually lose the very thing you hold dear?

            Jim raised his head from the bed and Delbert winced. Jim's face looked worse then anything he had seen. His lower face was covered in a dark beard, three days in growth. His eyes were glassy from lack of sleep and there were heavy bags under them. Jim looked at if he had been recently used as a punching bag.

            "Just go away, Delbert." Jim said in a hoarse voice, "I don't feel like talking to you or with anyone. I don't feel like talking at all. I want to be left alone."

            "That's too bad, Jim." Delbert said and sat down on the bed next to him, "I came up here to tell you to stop with your self-pity act. I know your upset about Alyson, everyone is upset, but it wasn't your fault."

            Jim thought about Nathaniel's wife, Gina Rodriguez, and their little son, Jonathon, and how they died at his hands. Wasn't his fault? That was a laugh.

            "What do you know of it? There are things going on between Nathaniel and me that you would not comprehend." he said harshly. Jim was shamed to find that he wanted to take a swipe at Delbert. He wanted to make Delbert angry, wanted to fight him. He wanted a way to escape the grief that crushed his heart.

            "You won't let us comprehend, Jim." Delbert pointed out, "Even when you were younger, you never really told us what your missions were about. Not even Amelia, who trained you herself. You didn't want us to have a part in your burden. All you let us know was that you were 'getting the bad guys'."

            "I didn't want to cause any pain." Jim murmured.

            "Then why are you doing this? Don't you know what you're putting your mother through? Sarah's suffering from both the loss of her daughter-in-law and the withdrawal of her only son. I swear if Seymour wasn't here she'd have an emotional breakdown." Delbert said matter-of-factly.

            Tears burned the back of Jim's eyes but he did not let them fall. He hadn't meant to hurt his mother, but he hadn't wanted to comfort her either. She needed someone to lean on, to help get over the death of her daughter-in-law and Jim couldn't be the one to do that for he needed someone to lean on as well. Two broken people could not help each other fix themselves.

            "I can't help her heal, Delbert." Jim said with an edge in his voice, "I can't help anyone anymore."

            "I know. I'm not asking you to heal Sarah. I'm asking you to heal yourself. I'm asking you to stop hating your self for what has happened." Delbert placed a hand on Jim's shoulder.

            "I can't!" Jim thundered, jumping from the bed, "If I had been more careful, more cautious Alyson would be alive! I had a gut feeling that something was wrong even before Alyson left for Venkar! If I had just listened to those feelings inside me she could see be with me! If she hadn't been my wife Nathaniel wouldn't have gone after her. She'd be okay." Jim sunk to the floor, feeling utterly lost.

            Delbert knelt besides him, "You need to stop your depression, Jim. Do you think Alyson would want you to be so unhappy?"

            Jim's shoulders trembled, "I can't let her go, Delbert. I can't let her go. I can't accept her death. I don't want to let her. She can't leave my life. Even now, even knowing she's dead, part feels like there is something not right with it. It feels like it can't be true. She can't be de… gone."

            "You need closure, Jim. The man responsible for Alyson's death is still out there and your subconscious knows it. As long as Nathaniel is still out there and free, you'll never have peace." Delbert placed a hand on the trembling shoulders.

            "Are saying I should track down Nathaniel and extract revenge from him?" Jim said blankly.

            Delbert shook his head, "Not revenge, Jim, justice. Don't get revenge. Revenge won't ease the pain; it'll only make it worse."

            Jim wasn't so sure about that. In fact, the thought of revenge made him feel a lot better. The real thing would surely give him gratification wouldn't it? He could just imagine pounding Randolph Nathaniel into a pulp. The pirate would begging for his life while Jim choked him until he suffocated.

            "I'll make him pay." Jim swore softly, "I'll make him bleed."

            He stood and, with Delbert's eyes on him, he walked to the bathroom. Delbert stood and followed him with a bemused look upon his face. He watched as Jim reached for a razor and shaving cream.

            "What are you doing, Jim?" he questioned.

            "It is almost impossible to track Nathaniel down unless he wants to be tracked down or a pirate helps you to find him. I'm going back Zione to find just that pirate." Jim said, rubbing the cream on his face.

            Blinking, Delbert watched as Jim brought the razor to his face. He thought about the pirates, the worst kind of criminals, and wondered which one would be willing to help the very man who spent most of his adulthood hunting them down.

            "Which pirate is that, Jim?" Since Delbert rarely came to a question he couldn't find an answer to he was obsessed with finding, or asking, answers to the one he didn't understand. From the dangerous glint in Jim's eyes Delbert guess he had an answer. Something in Delbert's gut clenched. He didn't have a good feeling about this.

            Jim didn't look at the dog-man off to his side. He concentrated fully on shaving his face. He would have to take a bath, he was not to pleasant smelling, and brush his hair. He couldn't bring anyone else along to Zione, that would draw to much attention to himself and he didn't want that. Not if he was going to track down a pirate.

            "Jim? Hello? Earth to James Hawkins." Delbert frowned at the Spacer when Jim's eyes turned to him through the mirror, "What pirate?"

            "One who owes me a favour." Jim answered in monotone. He finished shaving and slapped the razor into the sink, not even bothering to wash it. He had a lot of work to do and he didn't have time for trivial things like cleaning.

            Delbert placed a hand on his chin and thought about that. What pirate owes Jim a favour? Better yet, what pirate did Jim converse with? Jim being a Spacer wasn't exactly friendly towards the pirates. Then it hit him. Delbert knew exactly what pirate Jim was talking about and it had his eyes widening.

            "No."

                        Sarah, with a weak sigh, switched the curtains on her window so the scene of the rain on Montresser turned into a sunny field filled with flowers. It wasn't the real weather of the planet to be sure, but it did lift her spirits a little.

            My spirits could use a good lifting, Sarah thought. She was worried about Jim and grieving over Alyson. On top of all that she had a business to run. That left her emotionally tired as well as psychically.

            And just this morning, Jim had walked out of his room, which he hadn't done for days, and promptly told Sarah that he was going to Zione and wouldn't be back for quite awhile. Even after she had begged, Jim refused to say why he was leaving. He wouldn't even eat something.

            "He's taking her death so hard." Sarah told herself. And she supposed Jim had every right to grieve over Alyson, but Jim was a strong man by nature. Once he got over his depression stage, Sarah knew he'd pull even further away from her, fearing he would hurt her like he thought he had with Alyson.

            Over the many years Jim had been a Spacer, he had drawn away from Sarah quite a few times, but it had never been this bad. When he had walked down those stairs Sarah had saw in his eyes a blank look. As if her son was no longer capable of feeling any emotions at all. She had been looking at a stranger with her son's face.

            What will happen when he comes back? Sarah wondered. Would he draw away from her again? Would he become the Jim she knew and love once more? Or would be just be that emotionless blob he had been coming down those stairs?

            "Oh, Alyson." Sarah whispered and leaned hard against the table. Tears welled up in her eyes. She would give anything to have her daughter-in-law back at the Benbow. She wanted her son to be happy, she wanted grandchildren!

            Sarah felt a cold take over her. She'd never have those things now. Alyson had been Jim's one and only and she was gone. All because of some selfish man with a grudge. She didn't understand exactly what went on between Nathaniel and her son, but she knew Alyson's death was because of their feud.

            All because of one man and his revenge, Sarah thought with gritted teeth. Amelia had said that something had gone wrong in the Raeford galaxy when Jim had been tracking Nathaniel down and an innocent had died, making Nathaniel crazed and out to get Jim in anyway he could. Amelia hadn't known the full details because Jim kept them to himself, but the Academy filled the cat-like woman in.

            Absently, Sarah looked down at the table in front of her. On it sat a tray with a piece of paper, filled with orders for her guests. Sarah had found that she hadn't been able to work more the fifteen minutes before needing a break. Her whole body just seemed to keep shutting down. She was so tired, but she had a job to do. She couldn't sleep yet, not until she knew Jim would be alright.

            Leaning down on her elbows, Sarah placed two fingers at the sides of her temples and began to rub. She was getting a horrible headache. She could feel it pounding behind her right eye. If she didn't get rest soon she would end up fainting from overwork.

            I'll just finish these orders and then I'll take a rest, Sarah told herself. She reached for the tray and looked over the note again, not really wanting to move. Finally, with a groan she pushed herself from the chair… only to be pushed back into it.

            She blinked in surprise as a steaming cup of tea was placed in front of her. She craned her neck and looked into the soft brown eyes of Seymour. Warmth flooded through her and she looked away.

            "You're way too exhausted to do any work." Seymour told her, "You need rest. I'll have BEN do these orders for you."

            Sarah was barely awake enough to feel insulted, "You cannot tell me what to do, Seymour. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a child."

            Seymour looked down at her then, a slight smile forming on his lips, before he said, "I've noticed that quite a bit."

            And then Sarah was blushing like a child and felt like one as well, "I'm off to bed, Seymour. I hope you plan to stay around a bit longer?"

            Seymour smirked, almost hiding the bags under his eyes, at the pretty blush spreading across Sarah's cheek, "I'll stay until you don't need me anymore, Sarah."

            Sarah turned before he could see her blush thicken and made her way to the steps. Seymour's words lay heavily with her and she suddenly feared she might need him forever.

            Seymour certainly was enjoyable, Sarah thought as she lay down on her bed. He was kind and funny, but what would he ever see in someone like her? Sarah snorted at herself. She was over forty and here she was thinking about Seymour like a young school girl. If she had feelings for the man, then she would go with them.

            Before she could think anymore about her feelings, Sarah promptly fell asleep and dreamed of Seymour.

            Seymour passed Sarah door's and smiled at it. Such a woman, he thought. Without her he would've gone insane in the last four day. With the guilt over Alyson's death and Jim's silence, he needed someone to share his pain with and Sarah was it. He just hoped she felt the same way about him.

            He then turned and walked to his own room. He wanted to sleep as well. He was exhausted and worried about Jim. He closed his eyes even before he slid onto the bed. He hoped Jim got his revenge and it could get over Alyson's passing. Seymour was doing his best to do so for he knew that Alyson would've wanted him to. She would've hated that he was suffering so much over her. She also would've told him to quit being stupid around Sarah and make a move.

            Half-asleep now, Seymour smiled. That was Alyson. She was always telling you to go with your emotions though she often didn't do the same with herself. She was some woman.

            Seymour, now completely asleep, turned over and whispered his daughter's name. He could almost see her now. Smiling at him, telling him about her latest find. He could see her locked in Jim's protective embrace, looking happy and content.

            I'll only remember the good times, Seymour promised himself as he slept. I won't remember her like that day on Zione. She wouldn't want that. But there was this dull ache in his heart as he dreamed about Alyson. Alyson in his dream told him to stop mourning and get on with life.

            Then Alyson disappeared and Sarah was in her place, wrapping her arms around and making the ache almost disappear completely. Sarah told him it was okay to mourn but he couldn't let it destroy him. He needed to be strong, for Alyson.

            Seymour promised he would try.

                        Delbert sat in his study. A warm fire burned from the wall and heated the room, though Delbert himself was cold. He couldn't stop thinking about Jim and the crazy scheme of his.

            "It'll never work." Delbert muttered to himself, "I should've convinced him to stay home. Going to Zione and seeing… seeing him is not a good idea."

            So lost in his thoughts that Delbert didn't even hear the door open and his wife step in. Amelia walked over to her husband and stood behind him. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

            Delbert jolted in surprised, but when Amelia wrapped her arms around his shoulder, he calmed. He raised his own arms and caught Amelia neck.

            Amelia sighed and leaned her cheek down on Delbert head, "You're thinking about Jim." She accused lightly, "Worrying about him."

            It didn't surprise Delbert that his wife knew him so well. In fact, it made him feel better that Amelia would always understand him.

            "I just wish he wouldn't do this. It's a stupid idea and that man is not trustworthy. I don't know what Jim's thinking." Delbert muttered unhappily.

            Amelia smiled softly, "Jim's thinking that he wants Randolph Nathaniel to pay and the only way to do it is to seek the help of a pirate." Delbert and Amelia lapsed into silence for a moment before Amelia spoke, "I always wondered how he got away that day on our ship."

            Delbert felt a smile tug across his lips, "Jim let him go, of course. Surely you knew that, Amelia? They were friends and Jim helps his friends."

            "I suspected Jim had, but I was never sure. Jim has a high sense of justice. I couldn't be sure if he overlooked it that one time." Amelia murmured.

            "When he was younger he did, but he wouldn't do it today. Those years at the Academy honed his sense of justice and now all the criminals better beware."

            "Which is why you shouldn't worry about Jim so much. He knows what he's doing. I happen to agree with this plan. A pirate may be a criminal but they take their word and debt very seriously. He'll help Jim, promise."

            "I certainly hope so, dear." Delbert said and dragged Amelia into his lap. Amelia gave a breathless laugh and leaned forward kiss him.

            Delbert had been surprised that after ten years of marriage his attraction to the former Spacer hadn't dimmed. He had always thought marriage killed the lust, but it wasn't the case with him and Amelia. No matter how many times he had her, Delbert couldn't get enough of Amelia. It pleased him that there was lust and love in his relationship with Amelia.

            Amelia broke away from him with a smile on her face, "You know," she drawled, "the children are a floor above, and they sleep like stone…" Seductively she toyed with one of his buttons.

            Delbert felt a genuine smile tugging at his lips. With Amelia's laughter in his ear, he dragged them both to the floor. Books and papers went flying as the two bodies wrestled on the floor for control.

            Yes, Delbert thought, bring Amelia lips back to his own, it was very good to have this kind of a relationship with his wife.

            Then he didn't think much at all.

                        The next day the sun barely peeked out of the dark clouds on Montresser, but for the first time in quite a while there was sun so nobody complained.

            Sarah Hawkins stood on the front porch of the Benbow in, taking in what sun there was. The light was so rare on Montresser even this measly bit of sun was enjoyed while it could enjoyed.

            It was warm, Sarah realized, thanks to the sun. It had to be a last 68 degrees now. Sure it wasn't very hot, but compared to the rainy days this was an oven.

            "Enjoying what little sun you have?" Seymour asked, joining Sarah on the porch. Sarah turned her head to look at him and smiled.

            "At least it's sun, Seymour. We never get skies like this on Montresser. This is a rare and wonderful occasion." Sarah said with mock-haughtiness.

            Seymour frowned slightly at the darkened clouds, "I believe that." he said with slight annoyance.

            "Oh stop it." Sarah said with a half-laugh and hit Seymour in the shoulder. Seymour caught Sarah's hand and they both suddenly stilled.

            Slowly, achingly slow, they moved towards one another. Sarah's eyes fluttered closed as Seymour leaned forward. Her belly knotted, but from fear but from pleasure and excitement. She leaned forward just a few inches…

            And it started raining…

            But Sarah didn't notice because by then she was kissing Seymour. With a growl deep in his throat, Seymour pressed his hands to the small of her back and pushed her closer. Sarah ran her hands through his silky hair and moaned against his mouth.

            The kiss was hot and wild, filled with the yearning of days. Sarah, taking full control of the kiss, backed Seymour against the wall and they slid to the floor. Seymour shifted his weight so she was beneath him and took the lead.

            No one had ever made Sarah fell like this. Not even Jim's father whom she had married. She felt young, powerful… like a witch casting a spell. Her body was hot lava pouring over a helpless man, yearning for the heat. She never wanted it to end…

            But she had to breathe.

            Seymour and Sarah broke apart. Not wanting him to think the kiss a mistake, Sarah leaned her head upon his shoulder and drew in a deep breath.

            "Wow." She muttered.

            "Wow is right." Seymour agreed, raising his one hand and tangling it in Sarah dark locks, "That was amazing."

            "Why thank you." Sarah drawled, shifted so she could look up at him, "Now what? I mean…"

            Seymour's shrug cut her off, "We'll take it one step at a time. How 'bout a date?" he said with a laugh in his voice, "I know we got the stages mixed up, but how 'bout it?"

            Sarah felt a smile tug her lips again as she said, "I don't know… this seems to be going a little fast… I'm not sure if I'm ready…"

            "If I kiss you will you change your mind?" Seymour asked.

            Sarah frowned and pretended to think hard about it, "I don't know. It would have to be a very good kiss-"

            Seymour cut her off by doing as he promised.

            "So," Sarah said breathlessly, "What time will you be picking me up?"

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            Lizzy: ***glares at Seymour*** Why the hell aren't you grieving over my Alyson!?

Seymour: Hey, you wrote it!

Lizzy: Oh right…

Seymour: Besides, Alyson's not dead. Why should I be sad?

Lizzy: How did you find that out?

Seymour: ***hides copy of Final Nail in the Coffin*** ah… I had a vision and saw her alive?

Lizzy: ***snorts*** Come 'er! ***Seymour runs away and Lizzy follows***

Not-Dead-Alyson: ***blinks*** ah, okay everyone watch out for chapter eight John Silver where my darling Jim meets his former friend/father-figure John Silver. How will they react? Lizzy, don't hurt Seymour! ***runs after Lizzy and Seymour***

                        Thankie ya'all for reading and putting up with my late posts. Promise to get more chapters up soon. And ElevnRanger please e-mail me! And if anyone likes X-Men Evolution or Buffy the Vampire Slayer check out my newest fic Eight Ways from Sunday! I update that more often since its chapters are shorter! Until then REVIEW ME!!!!

                                    "And remember! Stay fit, eat well… die anyway…"

                                                -Lizzy Rebel