A/N: Don't kill me for this… Please… Chapter 6

Sometimes I wonder who I am. I wear a mask for people, to hide behind. I fear their judgment and do not wish to hear my cry.

I see them in the eyes and all I can see is a reflection of myself, another mask in this ball that hides our thoughts and emotions.

Cowards are the humans, all of us, there is no exception, for that is our nature. We are pretenders walking side by side. We greet and laugh, we cry and talk but all in all we don't know the other, we don't even know ourselves.

Humans are like little Christmas presents underneath the tree. Waiting to be opened one day, yet all there is for now is the rattling and the guessing of the surprise inside.

Somehow I don't feel proud of what I am, for the more I think of me and the rest of the world, the more I come to realize that everyday in and everyday out I live a lie. A lie masked by others and me. A lie that is just… me…

~~~~~~~~°~~~~~~~~

Harry starred up at the face of Tom Riddle holding out his hand for him to reach. What was going on? He didn't understand.

"Let me help you up." Tom Riddle said waiting for Harry to reach back.

But the Gryffindor couldn't. He only could stare at the young face of the man who had so often in the past tried top kill him and hurt those around Harry. A sudden panic and anger rose within his body and Harry slapped the hand away glaring up in fury.

"Why should I?" he cried out and silenced immediately. He reached with his hand to his neck. Something was wrong with his voice; it was too high. It wasn't the way he was used to hear it. With wide eyes he starred down at himself and noticed the tightness of his shirt. He let his hand wander lower and came to a halt feeling an unfamiliar chest.

"You see, Harry, the reason why you parents died was because you can give birth to a pure blood heir if you marry Draco." Tom said with a painful expression. "Your parents opposed me, when I tried to kill you, in the knowledge that if Lucius ever found out that you were not a boy, you would become either the next successor to Slytherin or bear his children." He knelt down in front of Harry. "You father being of the line of Slytherin had been brought up with the ancient legend about our families, the curse that runs in all our bloods. You must understand this Harry, the Malfoy family has over the last thousand years always controlled the dark rising believing that those were the true teachings and believes of Slytherin. Every member of the Malfoy family was warned of ever opening the chamber, their line is the purest and it wouldn't do them any good if Salazar awakened and tried to control what they had tried to gain during the last centuries. They never make their own hands dirty, they let other gain the blame for their games of power."

Harry shivered unwillingly but seeing the truth in the words the other spoke. No, that was not it, she could sense and somehow she knew that Tom Riddle was speaking the truth.

"In other words Harry, the Malfoy family has always kept a close look on the other blood lines related to Slytherin and tried to control whoever opened the chamber and use him or her as their tool. You see, child, when you open the chamber some powers are transferred into the heir and some of the old wizard's memories as well. But for the body and the mind of the heir to adjust to all this, the magical defenses are lowered completely and the heir is left for the time of a year almost like a normal muggle. The magic that he can use is altogether nothing and that is when the Malfoys have always acted. They would capture the barely awakened heir and put him under various mind-controlling curses. In my case it was mostly the Imperio." He sighed heavily. "Lucius' grandfather caught me outside after Quidditch training and kept me under his control until I more or less died." He smiled briefly."  When I came back Lucius re-forced the spell on me once again." Tom's eyes were suddenly filled with pain that struck Harry as unnatural. No one should hold that much suffering in them. But before he could question or say anything of what he had been told, Tom continued to speak: "Your father knew about this and he tried, when I asked him to join our side, to undo the spell on me. But before I could warn him of the consequences of doing such, the second spell that had been put on me was activated. It was a trap for all those who tried to free the successor of Salazar's power. The spell ordered me to destroy James Potter and those closest to him in return. And so when I went to their house the only thing that burned in my mind was the message to kill all Potters…" Tom paused for a moment seeing Harry's horrified gaze. "Harry, even though you were able to defeat me then, the spell was still active and that was the reason why I did not truly die but came back and have been trying to get rid of you ever since. Yet when I transferred your blood two years ago into this new body, I gained the ability to see past the spell your parents had put on you and also it somehow lifted part of the second curse from me, meaning that I am no longer being controlled and manipulated to kill you. At least as long as Lucius doesn't order it directly to me…" The last he added in a whisper.

"I…" Harry's green eyes starred in disbelieve at the other. "I don't believe you." Her breath was coming in short gasps and her mind and thoughts were dazzling every way of thinking.

Sighing heavily once more Tom sat down on the ground next to Harry taking his hands of the girls shoulder. "I didn't expect you too." He extended again his hands towards Harry, this time holding his wand out. "Would you like to see if what I tell you is the truth?"

*~*~*~*~*

The castle was finally at silence after a long night of finding injured students and staff members and taking care of them. The prefects had gathered the remaining students into the Great Hall where they were currently sleeping they way they had done in third year. Hermione looked over to Ron who was glancing up at the ceiling in worry. After three long hours they had to give up on finding Harry and Professor McGonagall had assured them that he would surely be back in no time, and that Harry probably was somewhere in the infirmary and since it was well overfilled it might be possible that they had simply not seen him.

They obviously hadn't believed her. Especially not after Malfoy had asked them about four times if they had seen Potter. The blond had acted awfully strange all night long and even now Hermione could see him sitting on the other side of the room leaning against the wall unable to find rest like them. Maybe the boy wasn't as annoying as she always thought, maybe Draco Malfoy could prove to be the opposite of what she had always seen him and then again maybe she was just trying to come up with some good excuses for his behavior tonight.

"Ron, you don't think Harry is still somewhere in the castle maybe waiting for help, do you?" she whispered to him.

He shook his head as he moved his sleeping bag closer to her and turned to the side to face her. "You don't imagine that they told the search on everyone else off if there was still the possibility of students missing?" He messaged the bridge of his nose thoughtfully. "Then again, I'm not sure what to think."

They remained in silence for a while and she watched as her friend started to drift off to sleep as a sudden thought occurred to her. "Did you see Snape around anywhere?"

Ron opened sleepily an eyebrow. "What?"

"I didn't see Snape after the encounter in the hallway…" she pointed out slowly.

Ron was suddenly awake again and he sat abruptly up glancing down at her shocked. Farther behind Ron Hermione saw Malfoy turn to them, but his face remained hidden to her sight in the shadows of the dark room.

"You don't think You-know-who …" Ron didn't dare to continue.

Hermione tugged herself further into her sleeping bag. "I don't now, Ron. All I can say is that I don't like all this…I have a feeling that something's coming up and I believe we're not going to like it one bit…"

*~*~*~*~*

Turning at the end of the corridor Severus stumbled into someone. A scowl crossed his features as he recognized Peter Pettigrew crawling on the ground holding some dead animal in his arms.

"What are you filthy Gryffindor traitor doing here?" Severus snarled annoyed. He was sick of stalking around these halls without any sign of Potter anywhere. He was tiered from the lack of sleep and his nerves were on the verge to make him over boil due to the earlier encounter with Lucius.

The man looked fearful up at the dark haired man holding the dead animal to his chest as he stumbled back to his feet. "I'm… I'm feeding the Master's pet." He stuttered.

Glaring menacingly at the man Severus slid pass him ignoring him, then suddenly spun around and took three large steps towards Pettigrew. Towering over him he narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Where's the Lord?" he hissed in the tone he normally had reserved for whenever Longbottom had caused another disaster.

Peter flinched under the gaze of the other man nervously back hitting the wall with his elbow and letting the dead creature fall to the dirty ground. "I… I…"

"Well?" Severus hissed darkly.

"He's a floor below in his study." Peter spilled out. "He… He ordered to be left alone."

Severus turned around again, his robes billowing around him dramatically. "I shall see for myself." And he headed back downstairs.

*~*~*~*~*

Lowering her arm Harry could only stare at the spells hovering around Tom Riddle. The were countless waves of energy surrounding him, but what impressed Harry the most was the fact that there were normally invisible magical strings attached to Riddle's heart. It was the sign for someone standing under the influence of an Imperio, but unlike the ones he had been shown the year before, these strings were ripped slightly. Meaning that the spell was no longer a hundred percent functional. Voldemort had been speaking the truth.

The wand fell to the ground as Tom Riddle gathered to his feet and walked towards Harry stopping to pick his wand from the ground and tugging it back into his sleeve.

"It's not a nice sight, right?" Tom smiled weakly. "The first time I saw the amount of spells placed on me I thought that it was still a wonder I had a mind to think although not to act." Tom sighed walking over to a shelf and pulling out a dusted book. He blew the cover of dust of before flipping through the pages and he nodded Harry to come closer.

Somehow recovering from the sight she had just witnessed she made her way to the other young man as he turned and trusted the book into Harry's hands.

"This is the spell your parents used on you." He pointed at the pages marked by age. "The one on this side is the one that makes you turn again the way you were used to know yourself until now. And this one…" He turned the page. "It's the one that reverses it. You might want to learn them or you can rip the pages out and take them with you before you leave again."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "You were planning to let me go back."

"What? Where you thinking I let Lucius get a hold on another heir of Slytherin." Tom laughed annoyed. "Why would I want that, don't you think the world has enough to handle with me, would be bad to ruin Harry Potter's reputation by making him turn dark."

"Very funny." Harry growled ripping the pages of the book and tugging them into her pyjama's pocket to check out later.

Tom sighed and put the book back into its place. "Anyway, I think it would be better if you went back again. I'm sure they will notice your absence sooner or later and I certainly don't want Dumbledore coming here demanding you back." Tom made his way over to his cloak and put the hood over again. "Let's go, wouldn't be good to have anyone else notice your presence here."

"Wait."

Tom turned puzzled to her.

"Why did you tell me all this?" Harry asked frowning.

Tom shrugged. "I though someone should tell you about your family history…"

Crossing her arms Harry asked suspiciously: "Was that the only reason?"

Tom sighed again, Potter was causing him to do this way to often. "Fine, I'll tell you." He passed a hand over his face. "Actually it has to do with the fact that I want to try out how much I can go against Lucius plan without actually giving away that I'm interfering. After being over 50 years without real freedom of speech and action, I though it was about time that I did what I thought was right. And that involved telling you the truth."

"Okay…" Harry said slowly. "Just one more thing…"

Tom leaned his head to the side waiting.

"You're not expecting me to go back as a girl while I'm still in my mind a guy no matter what I should look like."

The Dark Lord laughed amused and took his wand out. "Of course not, but it might be painful, I mean it does change you for real. It's not a mere illusion."

Harry shrugged. "I don't care, that's who I am."

"If you say so." And again he chanted a spell on Harry and she could feel her body being forcefully changed into a form that was in her mind her own but that nature had not designed for her.

Harry was left panting on the ground as Tom approached him concerned. "You alright?"

"More or less…"

Suddenly the door was opened and they both stared up in surprise at Lucius Malfoy walked in with a couple of Death Eaters.

*~*~*~*~*

Severus lowered his mask to message tiredly his eyes. He stopped doing this as he heard voices around the corner where he stood. Glancing around he saw Lucius walk into Voldemort's study followed by a hand full of other Death Eaters. A cold shudder ran down his spine as he heard a crashing sound followed by Potter's voice crying out in pain. Closing his eyes and trying to remain calm he quickly made his way over stepping inside. Voldemort held Potter by the neck of his nightshirt and was pinning him to a shelf. Various books seemed to have fallen out and were currently lying around Voldemort and Potter.

He approached Lucius casually. "What's going on?" he glanced over at the blond resisting the need to aid Potter who was looking scared at them.

"I have not the slightest idea. But it seems our Lord somehow got his hand on Dumbledore's Golden Boy."  Answered the other plainly.

From the corner of his eyes Severus saw Lucius narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Then Voldemort let Potter fall to the ground and the boy crawled back away from him coming to a stop at the shelf behind him. Green eyes starred up at the Dark Lord. Confusion was visibly at them before they started to scan their surroundings and they made a stop on him widening in surprise. If it was possible, Potter seemed suddenly more afraid than before.

"My Lord." Lucius started and Voldemort turned his head to them. Red eyes glaring menacingly at them, Severus shuddered; the man was a walking killing machine. "Maybe you should leave Potter to someone else?" Lucius continued and Severus knew that he was asking for the boy to be handed over to him.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes dangerously; Severus caught something in them that was unusual before the man turned to glance down at the cowering figure of the Gryffindor at his feet.

"Yes… maybe you're right…" Voldemort said slowly. "I'm sure one of you would love to break him." He said, his voice hinting what he meant.

Severus heart froze still for a moment. They were suggesting to rape the boy and he could see that Potter had realized the same as he did because he tried to get away, but Voldemort got a hold of the back of his shirt and lifted him up from the ground walking towards Lucius. The boy was whimpering, struggling to get away.

Lucius smirked and held his arms up to receive the boy but instead Potter was pushed against Severus.

"Prove your loyalty to me Snape. Break him… Leave nothing but a mere shadow of what I see now!" he growled promising death with his eyes if Severus dared to oppose him. "There's a room through that door there. Have your fun and leave nothing of Harry Potter that can be gathered back into Dumbledore's little toy."

"My Lord!" Lucius protested. "Snape? I could-"

"I know what you could, but you see, I have been hearing that our little Potion Master here is supposedly betraying me. " A cold shudder ran down Severus back as Potter whimpered against him. "With this he can prove not only his faith in me but also break what is in my way." A feral smirk appeared on his face.

Severus held onto the shivering form against him and nodded slowly before dragging him out of there. His mind was struggling with finding a solution to this, but he was trapped. Damn it, he had told Dumbledore that this was not going to be a good idea to send him for the boy!

Voldemort nodded to the other Death Eater's but Lucius to leave. The door closed behind them leaving them alone.

"What were you thinking?" Lucius hit Tom's face sending him flying across the room.

The young man passed a hand over his lips spitting blood. "Potters tend to be uncontrollable, we had enough trouble with his father, we don't need this one around either." He hissed getting back up.

"So you gave him to Snape?" The blond asked angrily.

"So, he has no use anyway. It's not like we could use him to reproduce with your son!" he snapped.

"Never oppose me again." Lucius snapped back raising his wand and hitting Tom with a Cruciatus. "I'm not one of your stupid Death Eaters!"

Tom nodded submissively controlling the pain and trying hard not to cry out. "I understand." He whimpered, as the spell was broke off again.

Turning around Lucius walked out of the room slamming the door close behind him. Tom was left alone crying for his inability to have helped Harry more, and his own imprisonment by the dark.

*~*~*~*~*

Draco glanced away from Weasley as the boy settled back into his sleeping back. He had a horribly feeling. Something was going to happen, he could tell. Harry didn't simply disappear. If his father had anything to do with this then… What then? He laid his head on his knees tiredly. There was nothing he could do. He cursed annoyed under his breath.

Also he hadn't told Harry about Tom Riddle. The other didn't know about the curse that ran in their family and that meant that he was in a great risk considering that his father wanted him either dead or under his control.

To be true he had no idea why it seemed so important for his family to continue with the line of Slytherin, why would they want to bring back a Dark Wizard? Wasn't it enough with Riddle who had somehow managed to outwit death?

He turned back to glance discreetly over to Weasley and Granger. Maybe if he told them about their friendship with Harry he might get some information out of them, that was, if they knew anything he didn't know. He doubted that…

He was worried for the safety of his cousin, but he wouldn't break the promise of keeping their family relationship a secret for as long as possible.

He would simply have to trust in the adults to find Harry in one piece. Problem to this was that he didn't have the patience to remain quietly here doing absolutely nothing…

He sighed. This was going to be a long night.

*~*~*~*~*

His eyes were filled with fear. He was scared, and not only for himself. He looked up at his Professor's face marked by the sheer pressure of their situation. They stood opposed to one another in the middle of the room, after Snape had closed the door and let him go. There were two choices now. Harry was clear of that. One concluded in Snape throwing off his disguise as a spy and running off with Harry. Sadly this might compromise Tom's current position and Lucius Malfoy would see through Voldemort's lie and punish him severely. And later on who knew what he might do to Snape.

None of them moved. Snape just glared at him probably wondering the same thing Harry was. Trying to find a way out of this. Harry would have found the fact amusing that the man hadn't threatened to kill him yet for falling into the Dark Lord's hands, if the situation weren't this serious.

The second choice Harry saw was that he would have to give in and give himself to his Professor. This would not only assure Tom's safety, but would also place Snape as a loyal servant to his lord in front of the other Death Eaters. Humiliating as this choice was, it would provide less deaths in the long run. Harry was sure he had witnessed enough of those to last him a lifetime.

But then seeing the whole matter from another perspective, Harry realized, that no matter which choice he took, it would end with someone being hurt. Either him or Snape…

So gathering all his courage together Harry took a deep breath and stepped closer to the Potion Master. Dark eyes narrowed at him curiously. What would Harry choose? What would Snape choose?

Feeling his breathing accelerating slowly Harry reached up with trembling hands for the man's face. "I trust you." He whispered before rising to stand on the tip of his toes and pressed their lips tentatively together. The choice was made; Harry could no longer back out. Leaning back as he got no respond he saw the Potion Master starring at him with wide coal black eyes.

"Did I do something…?" Harry asked him softly.

" …No…" Snape replied slowly.

The word rolled off his tongue as Snape's gaze automatically fixed itself on him. Numerous voices echoed in his head in an abundance of shouts and hollers, some held reason while others didn't. Confusing and unnatural emotions stirred through both of them. Snape started to move closer and Harry became conscious of the change in his gaze. The calm and cold black darkened even more into a look that could be described almost as feral and untamed as his frame towered over Harry. For some unexplainable reason it caused Harry to tremble making his breathing come out tense and shaky.

"I just hope you are sure of the choice you're making…" Snape finished wanting to add 'for us' but unable to pronounce the words.

The lips stayed parted and before Harry knew it Snape had craned his head to meet his. Like a surge of thunder shocking through water, Harry felt every cell of his body absorbed of any coherent thoughts. He could barely breath. There was something stirring deep within him trying to awake. The feeling increased as the mouth against him opened parting his own lips with this action and his whole being seemed to be on fire as their tongues entwined.

Harry let out a quivering gasp as the mouth left his own and traveled along his earlobe.

The sound that the boy made accompanied by heavy breathing made Snape grasp Harry's arm and haul him against his body. There was something unnatural to this. He somehow could sense it. The moment the boy's lips had first mad contact with his there had been a wave of magic expanding from Harry into his own body. Sensations that were suddenly unbound, rules that no longer were important forgotten, sinking into a state of mind in which the only thing that was needed was the contact between him and that child.

Harry closed his eyes drowning in emotions that he couldn't control as fingertips ran over his face slowly wandering lower until there was a palm against his neck pushing the fabric of his shirt to the side while another hand wandered over his waist encircling him making this sudden desire almost impossible to bear. His heart was pounding madly and so loud that he would have sworn that Snape could hear it, if he had been able to think at all. Another sharp moan escaped him as the hand on his collarbone forced the shirt away causing buttons to get ripped off and fall to the ground. Snape's lips moved lower trailing a path down his face and his neck, lower and lower, and Harry found himself entwined in this urge to give his all to this man who was accelerating the contact between his nerves, the one whose hand was pushing his shirt further back until it gave into gravity, falling off him. He threw his head back wanting to give more access to the other as the mouth continued to move.

Desire raged through Snape's blood pumping through every vein and the fact that the boy was submitting to this drove him on. And it wasn't until he reached in between his tights that Snape's mind reeled him back into reality causing him to pull away flustered. He somehow managed to focus on the boy in his arms whose raged breathing was clouding his own thoughts again slowly. He watched at those green eyes opened still panting furiously and locked with his. Severus was overwhelmed by the frantically wild fury of emotions in them, it was a ferocity of chaotic desires that surged through Potter and streamed out of every pore into the air surrounding them. Drugging their minds and sucking them dry of every reason. Snape tried to speak but the burning heat didn't allow any coherent words to be formed, instead it lulled him back to that body that was waiting to be devoured by him.

Whispered words echoed through his mind as a low hissing voice spoke in his head forcing Harry to pronounce them out loud. Torn between his uncontrollable emotions and the magic tearing him from within, Harry somehow found the strength to mutter them. And with every word that escaped his panting lungs the desire rose to an intolerable level in which his mind suddenly stopped to work and his own needs trapped him. The sound of snakes lurking about him gliding over his skin, slithering their path burning Harry's skin, made him scream out. His eyes widened as they could only witness darkness around him, but the heavy weight on top of him assured Harry that he wasn't alone. The caress of hands marked their path over his stomach and he threw his head back again as a hand started to stroke him, throwing fuel into the fire that was consuming him. The hissing sounds from the snakes hypnotized him and Harry could no longer stop himself from chanting the words they spoke.

It was too much, all of this… the hunger for completion mixed with the pain of fingers that were stretching him, was drowning his sanity. And then suddenly there was a moment of emptiness and loss. Harry had become a shell. He was hanging in the air waiting for the moment to pass. And it did as he was filled. His face contorted in pain but as it slid out of him again and back inside, it made contact with something that made him loose his breath. And it happened again and again. Harry could hear himself pleading for more as magic wielded through him trying to break free. The energy was overflowing and he felt his entire body rip apart as ecstasy exploded in him leaving him drained and yet satisfied before he sank further into the darkness.

*~*~*~*~*

A hand rattled him awake. Opening his eyes, Harry found himself starring up at a dark ceiling in a dark room. He turned his face to look at whoever had woken him, his body was aching everywhere and it felt heavy. He didn't think he could move.

"Harry focus!" The blur of a person next to him ordered in a whisper as he placed Harry's glasses on their owner.

The world became suddenly clear and he locked eyes with a pale looking Dark Lord. Tensing immediately he tried to sit up but his body hurt too much that he fell back into the mattress.

"Listen Harry, you have to get out of here. I have arranged for an escape, but you must hurry." Tom said reaching out with his hands to Harry's arm and forcing him up.

The Gryffindor almost screamed in pain, his skin felt as though he had sunburn. "My body…" he croaked, his voice sounded dry as though he had been screaming for too long. Suddenly he remembered why. His face paled as he grabbed onto Tom to find a hold. "Oh god! Snape!" His green eyes glanced quickly throughout the room, but it was empty for exception of them and the bed in which he sat.

Tom shook him again by the shoulders and Harry's face filled again with pain. "Now is not the time for that! Lucius wants to get rid of you once you wake up. Harry you have to get out of here!" The Dark Lords' eyes were pleading. "He will be here in the morning and so will be the other Death Eaters."

"I…" Harry started but Tom laid a hand on his lips.

"Your clothing are over there." The other said. "I don't have much time, so listen. There is a loose brick on the wall next to the door. Push it and it will lead to a secret passageway. Follow to the end and you will end up down in the sewer. Continue all the way following the flow of the water and it will lead you to a small forest outside of the mansion. Keep going north, follow the North Star; it's the brightest on the sky, until you reach a clearing. I have left a portkey for your return there. It's a silver plate. You can't miss it." A brief smile crossed Tom's lips as he gently touched Harry's cheek with his hand. "I'm sorry for what happened Harry… I can't apologize enough… but-" Tom spun around and for the first time Harry noticed that there was a large snake in the shadow of the dark room at the door. It had lifted his upper body in the air as though it wanted to strike down on an enemy. "Someone's coming…" Tom whispered before turning back to Harry. "Good luck…" and with this he walked quickly to the door, the snake glancing with its yellow eyes back at Harry before both disappeared behind the door.

*~*~*~*~*

Harry hid behind a bush catching his breath, his lungs burned for air, his head ached from the pain of his scar; he couldn't walk because of what had happened, his clothing were shred, his arms and legs and probably face were covered with scratches. He sat down on the ground bringing his legs up to him and resting his head on them. He was tired, scared, cold and wet from the rain and the icy night wind. He wished he could simply collapse right were he was and forget about the world outside his mind, but he knew he couldn't. It would only be a matter of time before the Death Eaters noticed he had been released, or better yet, escaped. If that happened all off them would sooner or later force him out of his hiding. The only thing he could do was to get to the supposed portkey near the clearing, which would take him back to Hogwarts. He had to run; find the courage and non-remaining strength and run for it. But he couldn't, he ached, physically; the events of the night hadn't sunken in yet.

Suddenly he started to hear screams; orders; they were looking for him. Slowly he got back to his feet. His mind ordered him to run and yet his body was unable to oblige. He heard voices coming closer, the breaking of branches as they looked to find him. It was more animal instinct of danger that made him get up and run than his own thoughts.

It was getting darker somehow, but he couldn't use any magic, not if he wanted to remain another shadow in the forest. He stumbled as his left foot tangled up in the bushes and his ankle twisted badly. He let out a muffled cry. But there was no time to stop. Painfully he got back to his feet looking back and seeing the closer coming lights of the Lumos. He ran on biting his lower lip each time the pain flared from his ankle up his leg. He had no idea how long the way still was, no reasoning of time whatsoever.

He fell again, but this time his head hit something hard, something metal. He must have lost consciousness for a moment, for when he opened his eyes he could hear the Death Eaters a few feet away. Alarmed he looked for a way to escape. He noticed that his glasses had broken and that he could only open one eye. But that was all he needed. There was the blurry image of the portkey next to his head. With blood smeared fingers he reached for it, instantly feeling being sucked into it. And as he looked exhausted up, he knew he was safe… he was back in the entrance Hall of Hogwarts.

*~*~*~*~*

Opening slowly his eyes he focused on the concerned face of Professor McGonagall. He smiled wearily closing them again as he let himself fall back into the comforting darkness.

The next time he awoke there were Dumbledore and Snape there too, right behind McGonagall who sat next to him.

"Harry, how are you?" she asked, he hair was hanging around her shoulders and she looked tiered as thought she hadn't had a good night rest.

He closed his eyes again taking a deep breath. His head hurt as though it was about to explode.

"Fine." He managed to reply, no lie, considering what he had gone trough. At the memory his body tensed visibly and he rolled heavily to the side hiding his face in his hands and curling up in a fetal position.

"Harry, what happened?" Dumbledore laid a hand on his shoulder and Harry slapped it reflexively off. He starred shocked at his own action.

"I don't want to talk right now…" he looked ashamed away and hid under the covers as he pulled them over his head.

"Harry…"

"I don't want to talk." He snapped at McGonagall rather rudely back. His nerves were still on the edge from the escape. His body still seemed to be filled with adrenaline. He put his arms around himself at the though of how he had laid there under Snape. How the man's slightest care had left a fire where he had touched him. How he had given his body for that man's life, to protect him of the Death Eater's wrath. God, he had wanted it differently, not like this, not something forced. How foolish must this have seemed in Snape's eyes? The man who hated him to be ordered to… to…

"Harry."

Professor McGonagall's voice brought him out of his thought again. But he did not reply. He didn't have the strength to confess anything to anyone, even less to those who tried to protect him. It was already bad enough that Snape knew. He curled up more. He lacked the courage to confess, maybe he was indeed Slytherin as the Sorting Hat had intended, for he was sure that what his foolish action had caused, could not have come from a normal Gryffindor. And there was again another point. He was not normal, he was… he was… what exactly was he?

"Harry." The Gryffindor's Head of House tried again. "It is not good for you to eat everything up in you. Please Harry, tell us what happened so we can help you."

And that was the problem. He couldn't be helped; he had forced Snape to fuck him. Because that is what it must have been for the Potion Master… a fuck… with a man… a boy… his student… his hated student… with Harry Potter.

Suddenly he felt dirty. It was the sickening feeling of nausea and disgust with himself, for his stubbornness, his idiocy, his weakness… and for what Snape must feel for him right now. Surely the man hated him more than ever now.  Probably more than he would have hated his earlier self and Sirius Black together.

"Potter…" and there was the voice, no harm in it, but nothing else as well. "What happened?"

He chuckled as tears rolled down his eyes. He didn't know what to believe anymore. This emotional torture was worse than any Unforgivable Curse Voldemort could use. He let out a hysteric laugh; maybe it was a cry. Who cared? He threw the covers aside and sat abruptly up glaring hurtfully at his Potion Master, tears uncontrollable now, thankful that he had no glasses to see the man's face, merely a blur of dark colors.

"What do you want to hear?" he cried out closing his fingers around the sheets in frustration. "That Voldemort summoned me trough my dream? That he trapped me? That I was tortured? That I was able to flee trough the forest? How it felt to have a pack of Death Eaters after me?!!" he turned away. "Are you happy now??! Let me rest, I'm tired and I have classes tomorrow!!" With this he let himself fall back onto the mattress pulling the sheets back over him, hiding again. Curling up, he cried, not caring if others saw it, just hoping that sleep would take pity on him and let him succumb again to the darkness. He was barely aware as the professors left.

"Tom… Why did you have to tell me? … Why me? …" And sleep finally answered his prayer.

*~*~*~*~*

Severus Snape froze in his movement at the silent voice coming from the bed.

"Tom… Why did you have to tell me? … Why me? …"

The Potion Master frowned. Tom?

"Severus?" Minerva called from the door.

He shock his head, he would talk to the boy later, they had to talk…

~~~~~~~~°~~~~~~~~

I can feel the dense air around me, no longer can I dream, no longer can I tell what is real… Am I even awake? I turn in these endless and empty hallways of Hogwarts. The sound of my shoes against the stone is the only sound I can hear and it echoes loudly on and on.

There is no destiny, no path I really can follow. I'm trapped by strings on my body forcing me to move on. Unable to escape, unable to run or hide... My mind is clouded by memories I cannot place.

Again I turn as I reach the end of the corridor and continue my walk through this place. And slowly I can hear in rhythm to my steps the low hiss of a snake. It's trying to tell me something, but I'm too far and the strings hold me back like a puppeteer his doll. I'm no longer free I realize…

But why?

Once more the path ends and I turn. This time I stop and meet with a man, tall and clothed in dark colors. His back is turned to me and as I try to ask who he is, I see his face turn slowly to me. Green eyes like mine, hair black… like mine… but he's tall… so unlike me… And when I lower my eyes I see in his hands the cords that lead to me…

I'm trapped…

His doll…

No longer on my own…

He has awakened.

END PART I

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A/N: So, did you enjoy it this far? As said before, Part 2 will be a little darker on the mood… I'll try to post it soon.