Remy stared at the ceiling above him. That's what he had been doing mostly. When was it last he saw her? Days, weeks, months, years even? Her image was almost a blur to him, but no, he must keep her picture in his head. The way those white bangs fell neatly around her cheeks, the way her brunette hair fly when the wind passes by it, and her eyes……… not every girl had what she had……… No he can't forget about her, he couldn't. Turning his body to his side, he glanced at the floor by the side of his bed. On it, in black ink, was a written word. Amour. Such a tiny word with little meaning to some people. But they're wrong, they don't know how hard it is to leave the person you love behind and instead follow someone who uses you for business.
"Love sucks ass………," he thought to himself. "It jus' gives y' pain n' misery……… "
Rogue.
Damn it, that name repeats over and over in his head, but he isn't tired of it. Sometimes he even wonders what her real name might be, maybe something like Anna? Or even Christy? Who knows, but to him Rogue fitted her. His runaway girl. Remy slowly traced the word "Amour" with his finger, the word curves and curls at the end of every letter. He grabbed the permanent marker on the desk that was by the side of the bed and added "= Rogue" ……… He read the sentence over and over again until he actually founded a rhythm for it. Amour = Rogue, Amour = Rogue
But hey what is love anyway?
Pfftt, what is he doing laying on his ass for? There's other girls out there for him, someone that is probably even prettier than her……… What a lie, yeah sure there's probably even prettier girls than her, but no one is like her, no one shares the same pain as her. No one had that utterly cute accent as her either, okay maybe some……… but no one talked like her, no one made him feel this special or this heartbroken.
Someone knocked on the door. Remy stared at it, not wanting to go get it. Knock, knock, knock. Why won't this person get a clue, he didn't want to see anyone right now. Knock, knock, knock. Remy threw his pillow over his head and tried to pretend he didn't hear anything. Knock, knock, KNOCK! The person was getting impatient, he knew, but he didn't want to open the door or did he feel like it. This time he didn't have to hear the horrible annoying sound of the knocking, instead someone had kicked the door open and it went flying inside, to plopped right in front of the bedside, hiding the words "Amour = Rogue." Remy looked under his pillow and found him self gazing at his father, Jean-Luc. His eyes to be filled with anger and curiosity.
"Remy why didn' y' open de door? Did y' not heard me?" he asked, his voice was soft but had anger to it too.
Remy shrugged his shoulders and turned away from his father's gaze. "Dun' kno' Dad, my legs hurtin' y' kno'. Can't stand up probably these days" he lied. His father's left eyebrow rose as he gaze down at his pathetic son. Remy hair was uncombed for days, he reeked of sweat and somewhat tears, he had worn the same black t-shirt for three days already, and his face was filled with sadness. "Dis isn' like y' at all Remy, c'mon get up. We got business to talk 'bout" his father slowly grabbed Remy's arm and pulled him up from bed. Remy didn't try to fight it, his father was stronger than he was, there was no point of a competition. Slowly he sat up from bed and looked at his father.
Great……… business, Remy hated business, he wasn't Jean-Luc's property and he was treated like one.
Jean-Luc looked at Remy and shook his head. "Remy y' okay?" he asked in a sort of father tone. Remy nodded his head slowly. Yep I'm fine, jus' feel like total shit rig't now Dad. His father sat down next to him, leaning on his shoulder a little as he patted Remy on the hand. "Look, if y' goin' through something, I want y' to talk wit' y' brother or at least May. If y' trust me enough, talk to me okay?" he said softly as he gave Remy a pat on the shoulders and stood up. "If y' want to kno' what y' new mission is, I'll be at my office oui?"
"Qui………" Remy muttered as he watched his father walk out the door. Jean-Luc idea wasn't half-bad, maybe talking to Collin might help him. What was he thinking? Collin would laugh at him for going so soft. Remy gazed around his room a bit. The bed was undone, clothes and magazines were everywhere around the room, the closet door hung open which showed stack of clothes that was stuffed behind it, dust was behind his T.V. The trashcan was flipped over which made all the trash went with it. He even spotted a spider web at his desk. This is a mess………, he thought and rubbed his eyes. His was tired again and decided to clean this mess up later. He laid his head down against his pillow. Even his pillow reeked of odor. Taking a deep breath he looked at the ceiling. Which tile was he on………? Whatever, he's going to have to start again. Looking at the left ceiling he slowly started to count the tiles that filled his ceiling.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.…….. He'll clean up the mess, eventually……… Yeah, eventually.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Rogue, like wait up!" a voice called to her. Rogue turned around and found her self-smiling at her friend, Kitty Pryde. "Hey Kitty." Kitty caught up to Rogue and took a deep breath of air. "Phew, Rogue you like walk so fast. I thought we were riding with Scott………" Rogue glared at where Scott car was parked, right in front of the Institute. Jean and him were making out, it was a good thing Logan wasn't there or else they'll have another day with him in the Danger Room. Rogue glared at them thoughtfully, would she ever get a kiss like that? Who was she kidding, she couldn't even touch anyone……… Even a tiny little hug might hurt them. All of a sudden Kitty's face was in front of her, blocking her view.
"Like Rogue, what are you looking at? I've been calling your name five times already." Kitty smiled as she looked at where Rogue had her eyes on. "Ohhh……… still have a thing for Scott?"
The brunette quickly shook her head. "No way! Ah'm over him!" Kitty gave her a look that says "Uh huh". "Well I'm like gonna go ahead and go to the concert with them, you still coming?" she asked as she took out a lip-gloss from her pocket and started to draw it across her lips. It sweet scent filled the air. "Nah, Ah feel lahke walking around. Tell them go ahead without meh." Rogue said quietly. The valley girl nodded her head and waved good-bye to Rogue as she ran to Scott and Jean. Rogue took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her bangs. It would've been nice if she went……… She took off her gloves and wiggled it a little. It was summer and the clothes she was wearing didn't fit the season. Her head was filled with sweat while her hands were slippery and wet.
Walking towards the Institute, Rogue opened the front door and walked upstairs. Her boots clanked against the wooden stairway. Turning the knob to her room, she closed the door behind her and started to slid on the ground. Her back was against the door and her head was on her knees.
"Gawd, Ah'm so tired……… or maybe its somethin' else?" she muttered as she place her palm on her forehead.
Dipping her hands into her pockets Rogue took out a card, not just any ordinary one, but a special one. The markings on it was the Queen of Hearts. She dreamily gazed at it as she felt its sides. How long has it been since she held these cards………? Years probably. Her heart ached as she remembered that day when Remy kidnapped her. She was first terrified, but somehow, deep in her heart she was a little nervous being around him. At the end of their trip, he gave her a card. His little special queen, he said. He also mentioned that this was the most special one out of all his decks and now he gave it to her, that must mean that she's special?
"Heh who would think Ah'm special………? And besides, Remy has other girls tah flirt wit' maybe he jus' playin' 'round and gave meh this card because he was sorry for meh……… sorry about me bein' so pathetic" She thought to herself.
Her eyes slowly watered as her heart raced, god she misses him. Sometimes she even spends hours just maybe imagining what he looks like now. Is he sexier? Or maybe he has longer hair and a fitter body? Still it didn't matter to her, as long he kept his red black eyes, she would be happy. His eyes were the most amazing thing she had seen, it sometimes can manipulate her too. Maybe when he gets back, he can manipulate himself and fall in love with her? Heh, what dumb question to be asking……… He'll never be back, besides if he is, he wouldn't give a crap about her, right? Rogue's eyes caught her guitar by her bed, it was the one that she had bought for herself when she was fifteen. Standing up, she walked towards it and held it. Her hands itched between the strings as she strummed it. Coming down back and forth she finally founded a rhythm. How did that song go again?
"I'm so tired of being here,
suppressed by all my childish fears,
and if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone." She began slowly.
"These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and i've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me.
You used to captivate me,
by your resonating light,
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind,
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
but though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me,
me, me....." Rogue ended the song with a last strum against her guitar, it felt good to play again………
That song was the one that she Rogue wrote a few days after Remy had kidnapped her. She wondered if she showed it to him, would he like it? Can her words in her songs bring out her feelings about him? Rogue angrily blinked away the tears as she placed her guitar back where she got it. Taking a deep breath she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. His face still haunts her during the night……… it would stay there until morning and never leave. Rogue really wanted to take out her memories of him and turn back to the way she used to be. Quiet, loner, mysterious.
BAM!
Kitty Pryde angrily stomped to her bed as she threw her purse there. Her arms were crossed and her face was filled was disgust.
"Somethin' wrong Kitty?" Rogue asked as she glared at the valley girl.
Kitty turned her gaze to Rogue and sighed, "Scott and Jean like left us! Now me and Piotr have to like wait until the next ten thousand year until Linkin Park comes back to New York and perform. GRRR I'm like so pissed off right now!" she threw her slippers off her feet and laid on the bed.
"Oh yeah, you're pissed………" Rogue mumbled to herself.
She walked over to Kitty and patted her on the shoulders, comforting her as possible as she can. "Ah think they'll come earlier than ten thousand years………," she gave Kitty a grim smile and sat down next to her. "Hey instead do you want tah come tah the movies wit' meh? Ah was plannin' ta see Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." Actually she never wanted to see it, but seeing how Kitty always have been begging to watch the thing, Rogue decided to play nice and take her there.
Suddenly the valley's girl face lit up as if she had just won ten million dollars. "Really?!" she asked as she glared at Rogue. Rogue nodded her head slowly. "Oh my god! THANK YOU THANK YOU! You are like the best person in the whole world!" Kitty exclaimed as she hugged Rogue. "Anyway like I'm gonna tell Piotr and being him along okay? I hope you don't mind."
Rogue shook her head no and smiled, it was nice to see Kitty smiling again. "No way, we can even bring Pyro and Kurt along."
This made Kitty exploded, she jumped for joy and rushed out the door. "I'll tell them right away!" she called over her shoulders as she closed the door behind her. Rogue sat there quietly as she laughed. Kitty was such a happy person……… sometimes she's jealous of her. The way she can make friends so easily and the way that she smiles to everyone and they'll smile back. Her smile was like a disease that spreads around. Piotr was lucky to have a girlfriend like her, someone to make him smile even if he didn't want to. They were so cute together……… Rogue pitied herself. Being jealous of someone wouldn't help her relation with anyone………
Clearing her mind, Rogue changed her clothes and brushed her hair. Her eyes caught her dark make-up and then turned to Kitty's make-up pile. It was like Kitty had a pyramid of color while Rogue had a pyramid of darkness. Slowly she reached for Kitty's lip gloss, maybe a change won't hurt……… She picked out a cupcake flavored chap stick and applied it to her lips. She grabbed her eyeliner and darkened her eyelashes. On her side of make-up Rogue picked out a light blue eye shadow. After she was finished she glanced at herself in the mirror. Wow did she ever looked different, but in a good way. She took black hair tie and tied her hair into a high ponytail. Letting her white bangs fall gently down her face. It was amusing to see that she sort of looked like Kitty's twin. She was wearing her dark purple halter top, long purple gloves that come up almost to her shoulders, and a knee length skirt covered with a white chain that hangs around her waist. Knee high boots are worn, and a light purple scarf protects her neck, and chest areas that protects anyone from being absorbed. She looked somehow fabulous and different.
Rogue smiled to herself and sighed. Maybe she really didn't want to go back to the way she was……… It was too lonely and now she had friends, friends that care about her. Even if Remy won't come back, she still had her future to look forward to……… stepping out of her room she walked downstairs into the living room. Life maybe wasn't as bad as she thought it was.
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Hey! I came back from all the piles of homeworks and friends and finally have time to start a new story! ROMY that is ^.^ the song above that Rogue sang is called "My Immortal" from Evanecence. Please R&R!!!!!!!
