Disclaimer: You're kidding, right? If I owned Inuyasha, would I be wasting my time doing this? Hmmm?

Sorry so long, etc. I know you all didn't open this page to listen to me grovel or apologize. A quick thank you to all those wonderful peeps that took the time to leave me a review! Maybe I will reward my reviewers at the end of the story by e-mailing them the last chappie a week before I post it, or something like that. Hehehe! That would be fun, huh?

Ok, ok, I'll shut up. On with the story.



WHAT LOVE ISN'T

Kagome climbed out of the well in the wellhouse of her family shrine, hoisting her supply depleted but still heavy pack over the side before her and hearing it drop heavily to the ground with a thud. Next came a leg toned by exercise and tanned by constant exposure to the sun, and then the girl herself. What was once an exhausting task was now second nature to her, and she did it without thought. She couldn't leap out of the well like Inuyasha, but then again, neither could he when he was in human form.

Inuyasha......... what a jerk! Three years they had been traveling together, finding jewel shards, fighting off demons and Naraku's incarnations, and still he couldn't get it through his thick skull that she had a life back home that she OCCASIONALLY had to attend to. After all, they were pretty sure that most if not all of the jewel shards were collected and in the possession of themselves, Naraku, and Koga who still had his two fragments imbedded in his legs. According to him, she was pretty useless for anything but detecting shards, and he was always having to "save her sorry butt," so why did he even care? According to him, it would be easier for him if she wasn't around! But every time she tried to go home for a few days, he did everything he could think of to stop her, from physically barring her path to goading her about her inferiority to Kikyo.

Kikyo. The bane of her existence. Kikyo was this, Kikyo was that......... Kikyo was an expert archer; Kikyo was elegant, beautiful, graceful; Kikyo was a powerful miko......... Kikyo had a fast grip on the heart of Inuyasha that just wouldn't let go.

Kagome often thought she should have just left when Kikyo was.........what? Reincarnated? Reanimated? What do you call a walking figure made of ashes and clay in the likeness of someone long dead, which holds her appearance and memories, but not her soul? But from what Kagome had been told, the living Kikyo had been kind, and dutiful. This wandering corpse was neither. She was angry and invidious; hell bound, and determined to take Inuyasha with her. And yet he still loved her, worshipped her. Treated her kindly and swore his allegiance to her. Breathed her name as if it were a prayer.

While Kagome, who cared for him, tended to him, put up with all his bad tempered fits, was always there when he needed her......... SHE was treated with contempt and intolerance. She was a "stupid bitch," or "Wench," or a "weak, useless human." So why, why, why did she care so much for him? Why did she love him so very dearly?

Because he protected her, took care of her, guarded her life. Because even if his words said otherwise, his eyes and actions betrayed a kind and caring heart. Because even though he could be a serious jerk, every now and again he let her see a glimpse of a softer, more caring side of his nature. Because he was constantly putting himself in harm's way to protect her and their friends from danger. Because he was brave, courageous, and let's face it ~ really hot.

But no! She couldn't soften now. She always did that. He would be a jerk, and she would soften and feel bad for their arguments and go back anyway. Maybe her always forgiving him was the trouble with their relationship. After all, Kikyo was a vindictive bitch to him, and he treated her like a queen. But then, she also had something above Kagome that Kagome just couldn't compete with, and that Inuyasha couldn't seem to get past. Kikyo was dead.

Kagome looked around her to find herself in her own bedroom. She had been so busy with her mental tirade that she couldn't even remember going there, but here she was. Sighing heavily, she dumped her oversized yellow travel- abused bag onto the bed and began to search inside for her textbooks.

Several minutes later, she had upended the bag onto the bed and emptied the contents only to find that she had, in fact, left her math book in the Feudal Era. And since she had a major calculus test to study for, she was going to have to go back and get it.

Crossly, she descended the stairs and strode through the kitchen where her brother was sitting at the table in front of a glass of milk and a plate of freshly baked cookies. He had his math book open, and was working some problems in long division with the occasional help from their perpetually cheerful mother.

Sota looked up from his studies, "Hi, Sis! Mom made cookies; the kind with chocolate chunks! Want one?"

"Sure, thanks. I have to go back real quick because I left my math book. I'll take an extra one for Shippo."

"Honey, are you ok? You seemed really preoccupied when you walked into the house." Kagome's mom embraced her.

"I'm ok, Mom. Just the same old thing. I needed to come home, and Inuyasha didn't want me to."

"Sweetheart, I'm sure it's only because he misses you when you're gone."

"Thanks, Mom, I don't think so. I'm just the only one who can sense the jewel shards. In his opinion, that's all I'm good for."

Mrs. Higurashi would have protested further, but by that time, Kagome had vanished out the door.

************************************

"YOU JERK!" Shippo yelled from on top of Inuyasha's head, yanking on his ears for emphasis. "You made Kagome sad again! I can smell her tears."

"Get off me, RUNT!" Inuyasha took a furious swipe at his tormenter and flung him from his head off into the distance.

"Judging by the depth of the hole you left and the expression on your face, I'd say you compared her to Kikyo again, didn't you?" Miroku stepped out from the grove of bushes behind them.

"Keh! You liar! You were spying again!"

"I prefer to call it supervising. And you need all the supervising you can get." The monk sighed, "I don't know why I keep telling you this, because it never seems to get through your thick skull, but she might not leave so often if you were nicer to her."

"I'm nice!" the hanyou hated being scolded over something he was already beating himself up over.

"Oh, comparing her to Kikyo is nice? Yelling at her is nice? Calling her rude names and telling her she's worthless is nice?"

"Keh!" Inuyasha folded his arms and looked away.

"Why don't you just tell her the real reason you don't want her to go? Admit to her that you love her and that you hate it when she's not near. It would work much better, believe me!"

"Hey! Who said I ............ I do not! I mean........."

Inuyasha was still sputtering futile denials when the sound of a soft voice broke in. It was tinged with sadness, but clear and calm. "Don't be absurd Miroku. You're very sweet for trying to support me, but you're wrong. And no matter how much you want it to be true, you can't force Inuyasha to feel what he doesn't feel." Kagome looked from one to the other's startled expressions, both wondering what she was doing back there so soon. Ignoring their stares, she continued on, "I'm sure Inuyasha feels some responsibility for my safety, and so is anxious when I go home where he can't protect me. After all, I can sense the shards, so he needs me. Or rather, he needs my ability so he can get what he wants. But you can't mistake that for love. I've learned that the hard way." She looked away and blinked rapidly to stall the tears invariably pooling in her eyes. She would not give him the satisfaction of calling her weak. "Love isn't cruel or mean or disparaging. It doesn't demean you or constantly compare you unfavorably to someone else or make you feel weak and inferior or useless and ugly. And it doesn't make you feel like a tool to be exploited and then disposed of when your usefulness is no longer needed or desired. Love doesn't leave you wondering why you bother taking your next breath when another could do everything so much better than you can."

She paused again when she felt her voice begin to quaver; a sure sign that it was about to crack. Having once read that looking up would stop tears, and turned her gaze skyward. Waiting till her voice steadied, she finally continued, "You see, I'm lucky. I've had lots of love in my life. My Mom and brother and Jii-san love me. My friends and Hojo love me. Shippo and my sweet sister, Sango love me. Even you, Miroku, in your own perverted way, at least make me feel worth looking at and groping." Seeing Miroku's leer as he edged his way toward her she added hotly, "THAT WAS NOT AN INVITATION!"

"Just trying to help!" muttered the monk, who would probably have received serious physical punishment from an angry hanyou if said half-demon hadn't been too busy being stung by Kagome's speech.

"Kag...gome..." Inuyasha tried to speak.

Kagome shot an injured glare in his direction, "Save it, Inuyasha. Don't make it worse. You said enough earlier! Honestly, I don't know why I am needed here anyway. Most likely all the shards have been gathered, and even if we don't have them, we know where they are." She was tempted to add that thanks to his beloved Kikyo, the majority of the shards were in the possession of the very one they needed to defeat, but decided to skip it. He knew. What was the point? "You wouldn't want my sorry, useless butt around to be in the way or have to worry about saving when Naraku attacks anyway, right?"

"Kagome, no-o-oo! I mean, yes! I mean..." Inuyasha tried again. Damn his . . . what? Lack of . . . was it vocabulary? Or ability to put the right words together? Why could he never just come out and say what he wanted to say to this girl? No one else seemed to affect him like that. . . except maybe Kikyo. But he knew what he wanted to say to Kikyo; his deep-seated guilt just wouldn't let him say it.

Kagome sighed. "Skip it. I have to get my math book at Kaede's hut."

Inuyasha felt a small wave of relief when she said that. That bought him a little time. She might cool down a little while she walked to the hut. And Kaede was probably cooking something good for the evening meal, and would probably get the miko to stay to eat. By the time she was ready to leave again, maybe Inuyasha would have found th right words to apologize and keep her from being so angry with him that she never wanted to come back.

But just then, as his luck would have it, a small furry flying missile launched itself at Kagome's neck, "Kagomaaaaaay! I was just bringing this to Inuyasha so he could take it to you. Kaede said it was probably something you would need." And sure enough, clutched in his tiny paws was Introduction to Calculus.

Trying to hide the tears from the little kit, she smiled gently," Thanks, Shippo! That was very thoughtful of you." She presented him with the cookie she had brought for him.

His face lit momentarily at the treat, but quickly darkened when he smelled his beloved Kagome's tears. "What's wrong Kagome? Was Inuyasha being a jerk again? I'll take car of him for you! I'll stick him to the ground and leave him there while it rains!"

Kagome smiled at the thought, but said, "No, thank you Shippo. I just had something in my eye. I'm fine." Looking up, along with the others, she noticed that the sky did indeed look ominous. "I guess I'd better get going so I can study, and you all had better get inside." She quickly hugged Shippo, and whispered, "You be good, ok?" before setting him gently on the rim of the well.

Before anyone could say anything more, she was gone.