"Imagine there's no heaven,
It isn't hard to do."
~~~~~@~~~~~
The sky was gray overhead, casting the world into a haze of shadow. It gave everything a misty, dream-like quality as Subaru dusted himself and rose from his kneeling position. He slowly walked away from the gravestone of his sister, his twin, and the other half of his soul. Before him stood a shadow, a darkness. It was the chill specter of death in human form, and the other half of his heart.
Subaru stood with a stiffened spine as Seishirou walked past with a bouquet of flowers. A blood red rose surrounded by sakura. He didn't have to turn to see that the flowers were placed on her empty grave.
"How dare you?" he hissed the question in a choked whisper.
"She was my friend after all." Seishirou sounded patiently amused, so much like the figure that haunted Subaru's memories.
Subaru whirled around, glaring. "I think the world would agree that killing someone negates ties of friendship."
Seishirou glanced over his sunglasses, his lips upturned in a smirk at Subaru's show of temper. "Maybe, but when have you seen me overly concerned with what the world thinks?"
It was true. Even when pretending to be nothing more than a simple vet, Sakurazuka Seishirou had shrugged off the opinions of others. He had used jokes and a teasing manner to show it before, but now he allowed his cold indifference to surface, a fact which chilled Subaru to the bone.
Subaru turned and walked from the grounds, wary but unsurprised to hear the footfalls behind him. Only the strongest sense of propriety kept him from turning around and attempting to kill the older man. Respect for the graves of the dead held him back, though only just.
"Why are you really here, Seishirou-san?" His voice was weary, tried, and somehow resigned. He didn't turn around to look, he just spoke.
The distinctive scraping click and small hiss of a lighter sounded.
"Are you here to torment me?" Subaru's question lacked any real emotion, but his eyes betrayed the turmoil he actually felt. The question in his mind was not what he had asked, but was, Are you here to kill me?
Seishirou simply smiled around his cigarette.
"You only wish I was, Subaru-kun." He met Subaru's eyes in a clear and steady gaze, then raised a hand as if in a parting gesture. Sakura petals began to fall around them both like rain and Seishirou's smile became a more serious expression. "Then again, you only wish I was actually here."
Fading, fading, until all that was left of the assassin was the lingering smell of cigarettes, sakura blossoms, and death. Then even that was gone.
Illusion, or hallucination? Am I going insane, or is he stalking me and tormenting me?
He really didn't want to know. He had stopped trusting his own judgment and felt completely insane at times. With shaky hands Subaru pulled out his own cigarette. Within a moment or two he was feeling the slight burn tickle his throat as he inhaled. For a moment he imagined Hokuto's shocked expression if she knew he had started smoking, but he dismissed the thought. If she were around to look shocked he never would have started smoking in the first place.
His nerves finally calmed and he started walking again. The dreamlike feeling haunted his steps for a few more paces, then the sun burned brightly and everything came into a new focus. The whole world snapped back to reality for him, flooding his senses with a new clarity he hadn't realized had been missing until that moment.
"You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then."
~~~~~@~~~~~
Kaburagi Mitsuki stumbled home with her arms full of books and groceries, wishing she could just collapse as soon as she walked into her tiny apartment. That wasn't what she had to look forward to though, so she shoved her wishes aside to run through (again) everything she had to finish that night before work tomorrow. Papers to grade, exams to write, her own homework to do, her own exams to prepare for, while trying to squeeze in time to eat. She was still a student teacher; she couldn't go lax on the students and herself by cutting everyone's work load since she was following someone else's teaching plan.
The homework for the students had increased anyway, because half the class were slipping, no thanks to the presence of the "beautiful, young Kaburagi-sensei" every day. She was seriously thinking of specializing in elementary school education because the looks the teenage boys gave her were getting to her--a lot. It had been a long time since the unfortunate "incident" that drove her into an unexplainable coma, but her soul still carried the scars.
I just have to get over it, move on with my life. I can do this! She thought to herself.
With new determination she lifted her head high and almost smiled, until she realized too late that she wasn't paying attention and ran directly into someone who apparently wasn't paying attention too. The young man's cigarette was knocked from his hand. Thankfully it landed far from the books, papers, and groceries that had fallen and scattered across the sidewalk.
The two of them exchanged a dance of apologies as they scrambled to pick up the disaster. She winced as the previously organized papers were put back in a stack at random. It would be more work for her tonight to put them back in order, but it was better than losing them entirely or having a rude passer-by step on a paper. Soon all was back together and she was being helped back to her feet. She put on her usual smile to thank whoever it was she had stumbled into, but the words stuck in her throat.
"S-Sumeragi-san!" The last time she had seen him she had referred to him as Subaru-kun, but that had been in the landscape of her mind where she had replayed her childhood with him over and over. Years had passed while she stayed away from him, and now she wouldn't dream of being so informal.
It took him slightly longer to place her face, but when he did, a small smile danced on his lips. "Mitsuki-chan, this is a surprise. I didn't think I'd see you again."
She blushed, bowing her head more to avoid meeting his eyes than out of true respect...though that was there also. "Thank you very much," she said hurriedly, reaching for the stack of papers he held out to her. "I have to hurry home, so I can't spend time talking, but--"
"Let me walk you home?"
Mitsuki couldn't believe her ears. She shouldn't say yes, but found herself unable to say no. There were a thousand reasons for her to not say yes, but she found herself smiling and nodding and accepting it when he helped her carry her groceries and started walking by her side. She felt a thrill go through her with the realization of her childhood dreams on the verge of being met. For a few moments she allowed herself to just feel a warm glow of possibility, pretending her dreams might come true.
"Don't you know there's not place on this earth
Where you can run to escape the pain of a broken heart"
~~~~~@~~~~~
Why not?
That was the extent of the thought process that decided him. She had once had a crush on him, so she wouldn't reject him. He knew a few things about her, so she wasn't a total stranger. They could talk about childhood, maybe about school. Then he winced to think of that and decided he wouldn't take that avenue. They couldn't talk about their last meeting without bringing up something painful either.
Still, maybe it was fate that they met once again.
Or maybe he'd tell himself that in hopes of finding a way to stop being so lonely. Even if just for a while, he wanted to be with someone. He couldn't stand the thought of going home to the reminders of his cold and empty life. No, he didn't want to be alone.
And he saw that reflected in her eyes as well.
She unlocked and opened the door to her apartment without a word, but the small smile she gave him was all the invitation he needed to walk in behind her place the groceries on the counter. Her kitchen was a small corner of the main room, separated by the counter right by the door. The apartment was small, smaller than anywhere Subaru had lived, but he could guess that she still paid a small fortune to live here. Space was such a premium in the city, especially in such a nice neighborhood and in such a well maintained building.
"Convenient, isn't it?" she said wryly.
He blinked in confusion a moment before he watched her put all her books and papers down on the counter so she could take off her shoes. "Ah, I see."
"That's one thing about living in such a small space, everything is close at hand." She smiled as if this were something wonderful. Subaru smiled in return, caught up in the feeling of sharing a smile with someone. "If you'd like to stay for a while I can fix us supper. We could catch up."
Subaru pushed away the hollow loneliness that welled up in him. He looked her in the eyes, saying, "I'd like that."
In my life, all I wanted
Was the keeping of someone like you
As it turns out, deeper within me
Love was twisted and pointed at you
~~~~~@~~~~~
Getting the flame to the exact tip of the cigarette was still a challenge at times. A mere minor annoyance, but a reminder of something that he could almost forget the rest of the time. It was easiest when he didn't think about it.
Today, Sakurazuka Seishirou was thinking about it.
The day had been full of reminders. And, by some coincidence, the night seemed like it would be as well. He looked at the couple through the window. They had walked down the street like old friends, but when they had reached the small apartment the awkwardness had asserted itself. Nervous laughs were exchanged as they cooked in the tiny kitchen.
His cold eyes took it all in as he decided what to do about this. It was amusing to see them together, but there was more to it.
Much more to it.
It isn't time yet, he thought coldly. He did not want a confrontation with Subaru today. That would come in the future.
So, as long as Subaru was there, he was in the way.
As Seishirou finished his cigarette he decided to watch and wait. This could prove to be entertaining at least. He sat back, making himself comfortable. There was no hurry. Subaru couldn't stay in the girl's house forever.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The songs used are not mine either.
Notes: Many thanks are given to Xandra for beta reading this fic. If this shows a marked improvement in quality over my other stories, it is all due to her. Many thanks are also due Aishuu for introducing me to Tokyo Babylon in the first place. Thank you both, from the bottom of my heart.
