Chapter 10
"I'm sorry Greg."
Grissom repeated, but Greg went on as if he wasn't even there, letting years of pain out. Grissom felt his pain and was enraged. How could anyone do this to somebody so good-natured? Greg was curled up in a ball, and Grissom had to wonder if he would ever be the same again.
"I had to say those things."
Greg still didn't say anything.
"We were worried that if you kept suppressing you would...explode."
"In your professional opinion."
Greg blurted out bitterly, though afterwards looked like he regretted saying it.
"Greg, I've seen a lot of cases where the murderers have been the victims of child abuse- 50% of prisoners were abused as a child. The anger builds up inside until they have to vent it somehow. I've seen people go insane for the same reasons; I didn't want that to happen to you."
"Oh, so just because my parents were sadistic freaks that makes me a murderer?!"
"No I'm just saying that because you were abused constantly throughout your childhood, have been blown up twice, nearly murdered by your own sister who then committed suicide in a burst of depression...."
Grissom stopped when he realised what his list was doing to Greg, who now had his head in hands, tears starting up again from the tactless onslaught of memories Grissom had thrown at him. Gil sighed.
"Greg, what you have had to suffer in 27 years- nobody should have to go through, but you can't just act like none of it happened and hope the nightmares will go away."
Grissom touched his shoulder but Greg jerked away from him.
"Please...could you just....leave me alone?"
Greg asked quietly.
"Of course."
And with that Grissom left.
*********************************************************************
The next morning Greg got up early and made himself coffee. Grissom's house wasn't quite how he'd expected it to be. It wasn't as...dark- in fact it was a nice house with quite a bright atmosphere. It was certainly as organised as he'd thought though; no clutter anywhere, not like his apartment had been. Grissom came down and glanced at the coffee.
"Thanks."
He said sarcastically, as he moved to make himself one.
"Sorry."
Greg said quickly and Grissom glanced at him.
"Are you ok?"
"Yep. Yes. Fine. Just....um, how are you?"
Gil stared at him. He was noticeably on edge, although trying not to show it.
"I'm fine."
Gil replied. He had a feeling that Greg knew he wasn't fooling anybody when he smiled slightly and said:
"Great."
Grissom frowned.
"Greg, you know I didn't mean those things I said to you, right?"
Greg nodded.
"It was just the only way I could think of to get you to open up...."
Again Greg nodded.
"Then what is it?"
Greg opened his mouth, but quickly shut it again and stared at his coffee mug.
"I-It's just..."
Greg fidgeted.
"You reminded me of my father last night."
A chill ran up Grissom's spine at the revelation.
"I mean I know you're...I just can't..."
"It's ok Greg, I understand. I'm truly sorry I had to do what I did. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do."
There was an uncomfortable silence as neither knew what to say. Finally Greg broke it, hating the awkward atmosphere that had arisen.
"Um, so work starts in half an hour so we'd best get going, huh."
"You can take a few days off Greg."
"No, I don't want to. I can't hang around your house all day moping."
Grissom looked him in the eye.
"Are you sure?"
Greg nodded, and Grissom decided that at least at work he could watch over the young lab tech.
*********************************************************************
"Greg!"
Nick said in surprise. Warrick turned around along with everybody else in the vicinity who had heard Nick's announcement.
"Grissom made you come into work?!"
Warrick said incredulously. Greg looked at the increasing crowd of people surrounding him nervously.
"No, I wanted to come into work."
Grissom came towards the crowd and most of the bystanders leapt back to work, to Grissom's slight amusement. The only ones in front of him now were the CSI's and Archie. Archie put a hand on his shoulder in concern.
"Are you sure you're ok Greg? I don't mind covering for you."
"Thanks Archie but I couldn't. I've got standards to keep up you know."
Greg teased lightly and Archie raised his eyebrows in mock indignation.
"Oh really?"
They laughed and nearly carried on talking but Grissom coughed and they took the hint.
"I'll talk to you later Greg, it's good to see you back."
Archie smiled and left, while Grissom motioned the others into his office.
"Here are tonight's case files, Nick you're with Catherine, Warrick with me and Sara with Greg."
"I'm going out in the field?!"
Greg asked with such enthusiasm the other CSI's smiled.
"Greg, we'd been planning to let you out in the field for a while, well, before recent events shall we say. And about that- I think I speak for everyone here when I say if you ever need anything, we're here."
The others nodded in agreement. Greg smiled and Catherine had to restrain the grin she felt coming on. She didn't know what Grissom had done it, but he had definitely something; the sparkle in Greg's eyes had found its way home.
"Thanks."
He said genuinely, and on that note the CSI's made for the door.
"There's...one more thing."
They turned back to face Greg.
"It's Rachel's funeral next week, I want you all to come."
At their surprised looks he explained.
"For support. And also because...well if you don't come I'll be the only one there, I guess you guys were the closest she ever came to having friends, even though you only visited her a few times."
"Sure."
They mutually replied, except for Grissom, who spoke up.
"Does that include me?"
Greg paused at the unexpected question.
"I hear you visited Rach the most out of anybody. Of course you can come; Rachel would have wanted you there."
"What about you?"
The others watched the exchange with curiosity, as Greg shifted slightly. He thought about his answer carefully.
"..I want you to come as well..."
He decided, although there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice that the CSI's couldn't help but notice. Grissom just nodded. As the others made for the door Catherine moved over to Grissom. Nick and Warrick stood in the doorway.
"You guys coming?"
"We'll be right there, just give us a minute."
Catherine replied, and they left. At first Catherine just looked at him, as if she had already asked a question and was awaiting the answer. As he didn't, she prompted him.
"So you gonna tell me what you did?"
Grissom gave her an innocent look, but she wasn't fooled, so he gave in.
"I just had a talk with him."
"A talk? That's it?"
Catherine said with obvious disbelief.
"Well, I was trying to provoke him into letting out his emotions."
"You deliberately upset him."
Catherine stated almost angrily, but not quite. Gil shrugged.
"It worked."
Catherine frowned slightly
"Well I guess I can't argue with that. There must have been a better way though. Did you see how he acted towards you? He's even more scared of you than he was before!"
"Catherine believe me, I couldn't think of any other way. It wasn't easy, but I thought it was in Greg's best interests."
Catherine sighed.
"You're right Gil, though to be honest I'm not sure I could have done it."
There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment as each reflected.
"Do you think he will ever be the same again Cath? I couldn't sleep thinking about it. What if I've just made it worse?"
Catherine put a hand on his shoulder.
"Gil, he was happier today than he has been in a while. He'll get through this."
Grissom nodded, and they left the office.
THE END
Krazy- You finally finished it. Took you long enough. Sparky- You are never happy are you? Krazy- Nope, but you love me really. Sparky- And you didn't kill Greg Krazy- Course not, what do you take me for, a mad woman? Second thoughts, don't answer that. Sparky- Oh well, that's all folks, R&R.
"I'm sorry Greg."
Grissom repeated, but Greg went on as if he wasn't even there, letting years of pain out. Grissom felt his pain and was enraged. How could anyone do this to somebody so good-natured? Greg was curled up in a ball, and Grissom had to wonder if he would ever be the same again.
"I had to say those things."
Greg still didn't say anything.
"We were worried that if you kept suppressing you would...explode."
"In your professional opinion."
Greg blurted out bitterly, though afterwards looked like he regretted saying it.
"Greg, I've seen a lot of cases where the murderers have been the victims of child abuse- 50% of prisoners were abused as a child. The anger builds up inside until they have to vent it somehow. I've seen people go insane for the same reasons; I didn't want that to happen to you."
"Oh, so just because my parents were sadistic freaks that makes me a murderer?!"
"No I'm just saying that because you were abused constantly throughout your childhood, have been blown up twice, nearly murdered by your own sister who then committed suicide in a burst of depression...."
Grissom stopped when he realised what his list was doing to Greg, who now had his head in hands, tears starting up again from the tactless onslaught of memories Grissom had thrown at him. Gil sighed.
"Greg, what you have had to suffer in 27 years- nobody should have to go through, but you can't just act like none of it happened and hope the nightmares will go away."
Grissom touched his shoulder but Greg jerked away from him.
"Please...could you just....leave me alone?"
Greg asked quietly.
"Of course."
And with that Grissom left.
*********************************************************************
The next morning Greg got up early and made himself coffee. Grissom's house wasn't quite how he'd expected it to be. It wasn't as...dark- in fact it was a nice house with quite a bright atmosphere. It was certainly as organised as he'd thought though; no clutter anywhere, not like his apartment had been. Grissom came down and glanced at the coffee.
"Thanks."
He said sarcastically, as he moved to make himself one.
"Sorry."
Greg said quickly and Grissom glanced at him.
"Are you ok?"
"Yep. Yes. Fine. Just....um, how are you?"
Gil stared at him. He was noticeably on edge, although trying not to show it.
"I'm fine."
Gil replied. He had a feeling that Greg knew he wasn't fooling anybody when he smiled slightly and said:
"Great."
Grissom frowned.
"Greg, you know I didn't mean those things I said to you, right?"
Greg nodded.
"It was just the only way I could think of to get you to open up...."
Again Greg nodded.
"Then what is it?"
Greg opened his mouth, but quickly shut it again and stared at his coffee mug.
"I-It's just..."
Greg fidgeted.
"You reminded me of my father last night."
A chill ran up Grissom's spine at the revelation.
"I mean I know you're...I just can't..."
"It's ok Greg, I understand. I'm truly sorry I had to do what I did. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do."
There was an uncomfortable silence as neither knew what to say. Finally Greg broke it, hating the awkward atmosphere that had arisen.
"Um, so work starts in half an hour so we'd best get going, huh."
"You can take a few days off Greg."
"No, I don't want to. I can't hang around your house all day moping."
Grissom looked him in the eye.
"Are you sure?"
Greg nodded, and Grissom decided that at least at work he could watch over the young lab tech.
*********************************************************************
"Greg!"
Nick said in surprise. Warrick turned around along with everybody else in the vicinity who had heard Nick's announcement.
"Grissom made you come into work?!"
Warrick said incredulously. Greg looked at the increasing crowd of people surrounding him nervously.
"No, I wanted to come into work."
Grissom came towards the crowd and most of the bystanders leapt back to work, to Grissom's slight amusement. The only ones in front of him now were the CSI's and Archie. Archie put a hand on his shoulder in concern.
"Are you sure you're ok Greg? I don't mind covering for you."
"Thanks Archie but I couldn't. I've got standards to keep up you know."
Greg teased lightly and Archie raised his eyebrows in mock indignation.
"Oh really?"
They laughed and nearly carried on talking but Grissom coughed and they took the hint.
"I'll talk to you later Greg, it's good to see you back."
Archie smiled and left, while Grissom motioned the others into his office.
"Here are tonight's case files, Nick you're with Catherine, Warrick with me and Sara with Greg."
"I'm going out in the field?!"
Greg asked with such enthusiasm the other CSI's smiled.
"Greg, we'd been planning to let you out in the field for a while, well, before recent events shall we say. And about that- I think I speak for everyone here when I say if you ever need anything, we're here."
The others nodded in agreement. Greg smiled and Catherine had to restrain the grin she felt coming on. She didn't know what Grissom had done it, but he had definitely something; the sparkle in Greg's eyes had found its way home.
"Thanks."
He said genuinely, and on that note the CSI's made for the door.
"There's...one more thing."
They turned back to face Greg.
"It's Rachel's funeral next week, I want you all to come."
At their surprised looks he explained.
"For support. And also because...well if you don't come I'll be the only one there, I guess you guys were the closest she ever came to having friends, even though you only visited her a few times."
"Sure."
They mutually replied, except for Grissom, who spoke up.
"Does that include me?"
Greg paused at the unexpected question.
"I hear you visited Rach the most out of anybody. Of course you can come; Rachel would have wanted you there."
"What about you?"
The others watched the exchange with curiosity, as Greg shifted slightly. He thought about his answer carefully.
"..I want you to come as well..."
He decided, although there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice that the CSI's couldn't help but notice. Grissom just nodded. As the others made for the door Catherine moved over to Grissom. Nick and Warrick stood in the doorway.
"You guys coming?"
"We'll be right there, just give us a minute."
Catherine replied, and they left. At first Catherine just looked at him, as if she had already asked a question and was awaiting the answer. As he didn't, she prompted him.
"So you gonna tell me what you did?"
Grissom gave her an innocent look, but she wasn't fooled, so he gave in.
"I just had a talk with him."
"A talk? That's it?"
Catherine said with obvious disbelief.
"Well, I was trying to provoke him into letting out his emotions."
"You deliberately upset him."
Catherine stated almost angrily, but not quite. Gil shrugged.
"It worked."
Catherine frowned slightly
"Well I guess I can't argue with that. There must have been a better way though. Did you see how he acted towards you? He's even more scared of you than he was before!"
"Catherine believe me, I couldn't think of any other way. It wasn't easy, but I thought it was in Greg's best interests."
Catherine sighed.
"You're right Gil, though to be honest I'm not sure I could have done it."
There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment as each reflected.
"Do you think he will ever be the same again Cath? I couldn't sleep thinking about it. What if I've just made it worse?"
Catherine put a hand on his shoulder.
"Gil, he was happier today than he has been in a while. He'll get through this."
Grissom nodded, and they left the office.
THE END
Krazy- You finally finished it. Took you long enough. Sparky- You are never happy are you? Krazy- Nope, but you love me really. Sparky- And you didn't kill Greg Krazy- Course not, what do you take me for, a mad woman? Second thoughts, don't answer that. Sparky- Oh well, that's all folks, R&R.
