Romeo and Julie - Chapter 19
Disclaimer - Sue and you will get nothing
Notes - First, I am not sure if I like this chapter. It is a little, iffy in my book. Tell me what you think in your reviews. Second, remember that the Portman family calls their daughter 'Dean' and Dean something else, which will be revealed later in the story. So if Dean calls Joanna Dean, it is because of that. But I have mainly called Joanna Joanna so that it don't get confusing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lester Averman walked down the hallway of the Eden Hall dorms. It was quiet, far to quiet to be the dorm of a high school, especially a boys dorm of a high school. The few other times that he had been in these Dorms, there was always music playing and people thumping around. This morning it as different, it felt almost as though people were scared to make any noise.
There were a group of freshmen in the corner whispering, and occasionally they would look down the hall. When Averman passed them, they followed him closely with his eyes, and when he knocked on the door to Portman and Fulton's room, they began whispering and gesturing again. Averman shrugged their behaviour off as nothing, because this was not the first time that some one had stared at him before.
"Whoa" he muttered as he entered the room. It looked like a bomb had hit it. Fulton was gong through the remains, looking for anything that could be saved, and looked up at his friend as he entered the room. "Did you guys play rock star and not invite me?"
"Huh?"
"If you are going to trash a place, don't make it your own room." Averman replied.
Fulton shook his head. "Don't joke about this man"
"Ok" Was the only reply Averman gave. He knew that sometimes when things went bad, really bad in Dean's life, he would go a bit loco and trash the room. It looked like this was what was happening now. "Where is Portman"
"Showering" Fulton replied, picking up a waste paper basket and throwing some of the junk that was laying on the floor into it. "What do you want him for?"
"Practicing Shakespeare." Averman replied, holding up his playbook. "We haven't even looked at the scene that we share."
The door to the bathroom opened, and Dean exited, he looked at Averman, wondering what the hall the other guy was doing there until he realised that he had told him to drop by so that they could work on a few things. "Hey Averman"
"Portman" he nodded. "Is this a bad time to do some practice?"
"No, its cool, just let me grab a shirt" Dean replied, throwing a shirt on quickly and picking up his book. When he reached for it, Averman took a look at his hands, his hands that he had only just cleaned and put new bandages on.
"What happened to your hands Man?" Averman asked. Portman looked down at them and shrugged.
"A mirror" He replied quickly. "It's a long story"
"Would have to be" Averman smiled. Portman turned and looked to Fulton, who was still throwing things into the bin.
"Fulton, leave the cleaning, I said I would do it."
"OK man." Fulton sighed, dropping the bin to the floor and looking around. If he was not cleaning, then he had nothing that was really keeping him in the room. "I am going to the library"
"Bye Fulton" Averman replied, waving as Fulton left but never taking his eyes off of Dean's bandaged hands.
"Its just a cut Averman." Dean told him. "You don't have to stare at me"
"You really put your hand through a mirror?" Averman asked, amazed. He would not put it past him to do something like that, but it was amazing to think that he actually had punched a mirror. Averman had never met anyone who was that aggressive off of the ice as well as on it.
"You've never been angry?" Dean asked, pulling out a desk chair and sitting in it. Averman sat in the other one, turning so that he could face the other boy. "You have never wanted to smash something with your bare hands, just to see if it makes you feel better"
Averman nodded. "You are an interesting guy Portman. Because right now, you are making so much sense"
"I don't know, I guess I just needed to feel powerful" Dean muttered, flipping open his book. He hadn't really thought about why he had hit the mirror, only that as the glass broke around him, and dug into his hand, he felt just a little better about it all. Just a little, but not all that much. "Lets practice"
They read through the scene a few times and began to learn the section, they were getting good at it to, before Averman paused and stared at his hand again. The bandage was beginning to turn red with blood. "Your hand is bleeding"
Portman glanced at his hand and cursed. He stood and moved to the bathroom that was just off to the side of where he was standing. He was sure that they had one more set of bandages in there. He had seen them that morning when he had fixed his hand.
"Talking didn't help did it?" Averman called after him.
"What?" Portman stuck his head around the side of the doorway to look at him. Averman stood from where he was sitting and made his way to the bathroom door, leaning against the doorframe.
"Talking. You spoke to people about what ever it is you are going through, and it didn't help" He confirmed softly.
"I still slammed my hand into a mirror, so of course it didn't work" Dean chuckled bitterly.
"Talking is better then violence, any grade school guidance officer could tell you that, but what most guidance officers forget to tell you is that who you talk to is most important." Averman told him. Portman looked at him, confused. "You need a third party"
"Third party?" Portman asked, looking up from where he was washing off his hand.
"Some one who doesn't know what you are going through." Averman clarified for him. "Why do you think everyone you have spoken to about it so far didn't make you feel any better"
Portman thought for a few moments before realising it. "Because they know to much"
"Exactly. Fulton, Beck, Ken. Any of the ducks, they all know to much. They know you, they know Julie, and they know the situation, or at least they think they know. They already have opinions. They are biased. You need an independent third party to give you an unbiased and completely honest opinion." Averman told him casually.
Portman chuckled and echoed Averman's earlier words. "You are an interesting guy Averman, because right now, you are making a lot of sense."
As he bandaged his hand, he wondered who he would be able to talk to about all of this, who would be able to act as an unbiased third party. None of the Ducks would be able to do it, or any of his non Duck friends.
"Do you trust your mom?" Averman asked him. Portman looked at him, wondering when he had learnt to read minds.
"Sure I trust her" Portman told him.
"Do you trust her with what ever is going on in your life?" Averman asked. It was the next question, and really, it was the most important. "Or your Dad. Parents usually give the best advice."
Portman laughed hollowly. "You haven't met my parents"
Sure, Dean loved his parents, but there were some things that he knew he would never be able to share with them. This situation was something that he knew he would not be able to share.
"Your sister" Averman suggested. "Do you trust her?"
"I cant go to my sister about advice on my love life" Dean told him.
"Why not?" he asked quickly.
"It would be odd"
"I thought you and your sis were close" Averman replied.
"We are, way close" Portman admitted. "But there are just some things I don't think I would be able to talk to her about"
"Portman, think about it, you are lucky to have a sister that you get along with. My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were growing up, and I really regret it. There are things I wish I could have shared with her, and I know that she really wishes she could have been there for me." Averman explained. Dean had to admit that he did have a point. "If you cant trust your little sister, who can you trust?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dean's hands quickly punched the numbers onto to phone. "Hello, Portman Residence."
"Deanie, its me" he smiled. Maybe Averman was right, just hearing his little sister Joanna's voice made him feel better.
The voice on the other end of the line sighed. "I am sorry, I don't know any one named me"
"You know who I am." Dean replied. He could already tell that his little sister was no so happy with him. So he had not called in a little while, and obviously, she was not happy about it. "Your big brother"
"Big brother? Oh, you mean the prep who is to busy to talk to his sister." Joanna replied scathingly. Dean rolled his eyes, she could get a little melodramatic sometimes, but that was one of the things that made her a cool kid to hang out with.
"I am not to busy" Dean informed her, and then realised what the other half of the insult had been. "And I am not a prep"
"Sure you are, preppy" Joanna replied. Dean smirked to himself, imagining his little sister nonchalantly shrugging to dismiss the thought. "You forgot all about me"
Dean was hurt by the accusation. "I didn't forget all about you"
"Sure you did" She sighed. "You haven't called"
"I am sorry" He replied, leaning against the wall beside the Dorm payphones and sliding down it so that he was sitting on the floor, his feet stretched out in front of him. His bandaged hands holding the phone to his ear.
"Yeah, you better be sorry" Joanna muttered. Dean smiled a little. He could tell that by now, Joanna would have the long phone cord wrapped a few times around her. It was something that she always did when she was on the phone. Something that their mother used to always bitch at her for.
"Are the parentals around?" Dean asked.
"Dad got called into work, and mom is out grocery shopping." She replied. In the back ground, Dean could hear her opening the refrigerator, and he could practically see her dark expression as she dug through the contents. Knowing their mom, and the fact that it was shopping day, she probably had a bottle of mustard and some cabbage to choose from. "I hope she bring home something good, because we seriously have zip in this house to eat."
"I miss you Joanna." Dean mumbled. "And Muttley"
Joanna Portman almost dropped the phone. "Dean, what's wrong, we only use our real names when we are in trouble" she was suddenly scared. "Are you ok?"
"I am…" Dean began, and then took a breath. He knew he could trust her, but he was unsure if he could trust himself to explain what was going on. "I can tell you anything, right. And you wont go tell mom"
"Oh shit, they are expelling you!" Joanna laughed.
"No, I am not expelled" Dean smirked. If only it was that simple.
"Then this has something to do with a girl" She mused.
"Maybe" Dean sighed. It seemed that even with the distance, they could read each other like books.
Joanna's mind jumped to the next conclusion. "You got some preppy chick pregnant right?"
"No, its Julie" Dean replied.
"You got Julie pregnant" Joanna asked, surprised. "Julie, from your team, Julie"
"Jo, be serious, she is not pregnant. At least not with my kid anyway" Dean muttered. He didn't want to think about it, about Julie with Matt. It was a bitter spot for them.
"And that is a problem is it?" Joanna asked, jumping onto the kitchen counter. "Dean, are you in love"
Dean rolled his eyes. He could tell that by now, Joanna had worked out that that was what it was. That all of this was about a girl. "Tell mom and I will tell her who really put the scratch in her car last summer"
"Dean, you wouldn't" Joanna replied, appalled. "Dean, I would hate you forever and you need me as your friend" She paused for a second, knowing that if she fought with Dean now, she would never be able to get to the bottom of all this And there was a part of her that desperately wanted to know. "So, what is going on with Julie?"
"I like her, maybe even love her." Dean admitted softly.
"And she is with another guy?" Joanna filled in the blanks.
"Matt Goddard" Dean replied through clenched teeth.
"Matt Goddard" Joanna repeated. "What type of name is Matt Goddard anyway. He sounds like a vacuum cleaner salesman"
Dean laughed. Joanna always knew what to say to make him feel better. "I knew I could count on you kiddo"
"Yeah, I am good at insulting people" She smiled. He could feel her smile through the phone line, and suddenly, he sensed that the smile had turned into a grin. An evil grin. "You should hear the new ammunition I have to use on you, Romeo"
"Romeo?" Dean questioned. "Ah shit, how did you find out about that"
"The school called" Joanna told him. Dean groaned. Damn nosy school and their stupid phoning home policy. "Were you ever going to tell us about it?"
"The school called to tell you about the play?" he asked. It was surprising that the school would call about an English assignment.
Joanna smiled. "And the fact that you got a teacher fired"
"Crap, what did the rents have to say about that?" he asked. "Was dad pissed?"
"No, but he did the disappointed noise"
"Oh, the disappointed noise" Dean smirked. It was a noise that his father used to make, it was some where between a groan and a tisk. They both hated it.
"Yeah, I felt bad for you, and I wasn't even involved in the firing." Joanna smiled. It was one noise that could make them both feel 2 inches tall. "What did you do?"
Dean smiled triumphantly again, as he always did when some one mentioned how Old Man Walsh had been fired. "Long story, I will tell you over the Christmas turkey"
"You should really stay out of trouble, or dad is going to pull you out of Eden Hall" Joanna threatened on their fathers behalf.
"No he wont, he will send you here to look after me" Dean countered.
"Man, that would be cool, keep getting in trouble" Joanna smiled. It had been hard on her when Dean had been given the scholarship, and then when he decided not to take it because Bombay wasn't going to be there, she had been happy. Then he decided to go anyway, and she had cried for three days.
"You would hate it here" Dean said softly. Joanna sighed. "It's a prep school, and you would have no friends, you don't fit in"
"And you do?" She snapped.
"I don't, but at least I have the Ducks" Dean replied.
"So, I would have the ducks to" Joanna replied. "Or at least you and Fulton"
"You would hate it here" he repeated. He wanted to add 'just like I do' to the end of the sentence. "Plus, dad wouldn't send you here, he would do the math and realise that it is just not efficient price wise. Double plus, Eden Hall doesn't even have a baseball team Dean"
"Damn hockey school" Joanna growled. Like a lot of things, she got over it quickly. "But anyway, tell me the situation on Julie?"
"I really like her"
Joanna laughed. "Have you injured yourself yet?"
"What?"
"Injured yourself" Joanna repeated slowly, punctuating each word. "When you liked that blonde two summers ago, you walked into a brick wall. The summer before that you fell down a set of stairs when you were teaching me to blade and that dog walker went by. And don't get me started on last summer, when you hit yourself in the privates because you were to busy watching what Chloe Hannah as she served us at the steakhouse. Have you injured yourself yet?"
"Yeah, cut my hand open" he admitted, looking down at one of his bandaged hands.
"It must be love then" Joanna grinned. "That is the only explanation to your behaviour."
"Could you be serious?"
"I am serious" was her reply. "What else happened with her. Have you kissed her yet?"
"Yeah, a few times" he replied. It was amazing, he had no idea it would be this easy to talk to Joanna about this. He had thought it would be odd, but just hearing her voice was making him just tell the story.
"Did she kiss you back?" Joanna asked him.
"Yeah"
"Was she dating this other guy when you kissed her?" She asked. Then, she took on a tone of false outrage. "Are you the other man?"
Dean laughed at his sisters exclamation. "No, she started with him after I kissed her."
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
And here is was, time to swallow his pride and ask her for help. "I was hoping you would know"
"My advice" She began seriously. "Go beat the shit out of him. Make him bleed"
"Thanks, but I don't want her to hate me. She really likes him" Dean sighed. He felt like telling her that he wanted to go beat the shit through him, but it would not solve anything.
"How do you know?"
"They slept together" he muttered.
"What?" Joanna almost dropped the phone. "How do you know that?"
"I saw her leaving his bedroom last night" Dean replied softly. There were others in the room, using other phones, and he didn't want stories to make their way around the school about Julie and Matt, it would be two painful for him to hear the gossip. It would be to painful for him to see Julie in pain because of the Eden Hall grapevine.
"That means nothing." Joanna scoffed. "Last summer when Fulton visited here in Chicago, you saw me leaving his room in the middle of the night, you didn't automatically suspect us of doing anything"
"That was different, you and Fult are friends. You say so yourself, Fulton is the brother that you wanted, but you got stuck with me instead." Dean explained.
"So how do you know that Julie and Matt the vacuum salesman are not just friends" Joanna laughed. "Maybe he is trying to sell her a dust buster"
"You didn't see them" He replied, trying not to cause himself any pain by saying it outright. "They were very…
"Very what" she asked.
"I cant talk to you about this." he sighed. "You are my little sister"
"I am 15" Joanna replied casually, and once again, Dean could imagine her shrug. "I am old enough to be doing it, so I am old enough to talk about it"
Rage filled Dean's body. "You better bloody not be having sex, young lady, or I will hunt down who ever it is and kill him with my bare hands."
"What, so it is ok for you to be 16 and having sex, but it is not ok for me to be 15 and having sex" Joanna exclaimed, this time, her outrage was not fake this time.
Dean went to yell his reply into the receiver, and then looked at the other people at the phone bay. Where he was sitting on the floor, he turned his back to them, and whispered. "I am not having sex"
"Doesn't mean you cant" Joanna replied. "And it doesn't mean that you haven't before, you dirty great hypocrite"
"Are you having sex with anyone?"
"I thought this was about you and Julie" Joanna tried to change the subject.
"Answer the question Joanna Lee." he whispered dangerously.
"Why, so you can pretend to be the protective big brother?" she asked him.
"Are you?" he growled.
"Only with Fulton" Joanna replied sarcastically.
"So that's a no" he sighed and relief.
"Can we get back to your problems please?" She asked, this time successfully changing the subject. "She may not be sleeping with this guy, you don't know for sure"
"And how do I find out for sure" Dean asked.
"Ask her" She replied simply.
Dean was amazed at the suggestion. She had said it as though it was as simple as that, as though it was as easy as asking her to pass the salt at dinner. "I cant ask her"
Joanna smirked. "Fine, then go crazy thinking about Matt lips on her skin, his hands"
"Shut up" Dean snapped.
Joanna only smiled and continued. "Sliding down her back, her fingers wrapping around…"
"Shut up or I hang up" he warned.
"Fine" Joanna shrugged. "But until you know for sure, it will drive you crazy"
"But I cant ask her" Dean replied. He was just amazed that Joanna would think that it was all so simple. "I told her I didn't care"
"And why would you do something like that, you great oaf" Joanna practically yelled back.
Dean had to yell back. "Because it was what she wanted to hear"
"Dean William Portman. Have you learnt nothing from me and mom over the years" Joanna sighed, rolling her eyes. Dean cold tell that she was rolling her eyes at him. It was a family trait, and when they both did it, it was like looking into a mirror. "When a girl asks 'Does my ass look big in this?' you say"
"No" he replied.
"Good boy" Joanna smiled, if she had of been in arms distance of him, she would have patted him on the head like a dog, Dean was sure of it. "And when a chick says 'go away' she really means"
"Go away" Dean tried.
"No, she means stick around, because I am not quite sure what I want at the moment, but when I work it out, you will be the first to know" Joanna explained.
Dean sighed. "So, this means that she has worked out what she wanted?"
"It means that you are a bonehead" Joanna snapped. "You stepped back, and she thought she had lost an option"
'That is not what is going on" Dean replied quickly. "I told her to work out what she wanted, then come to me"
Joanna thought for a few seconds. "When did you tell her that"
"A few days ago"
"And you expect her to be able to make a decision between you and Matt Hoover of Hoover vacuums in just a few days. She probably needs time" she replied.
"Then why did she sleep with him" Dean asked softly.
"Because she probably didn't" Was her reply. She sighed, Joanna honestly thought that she had covered that already. "You don't know for sure that she did till you ask her"
"And how do I ask her? Oh wise and powerful Yoda" he asked sarcastically.
"I don't know, just walk up, ask her if she slept with him" She replied nonchalantly, ignoring her brothers sarcasm.
"I am not going to do that" he replied.
Joanna shrugged. "Then don't"
"I wont" He told her firmly.
"Fine" She snapped.
"Fine" He snapped back.
There was a heavy silence between the two of them. Joanna wondered if he was going to hang up on her. It would not be the first time that he had done so. "Dean, all I am saying is that you will not know for sure until you ask her. And don't just trust some one else on this. Hear it from her."
"It is just so…" Dean tried to explain it. He held the phone between his shoulder and ear, and pulled at a loose thread of one of the bandages absently. "I hate it"
"This injury?" Joanna asked softly. "Self inflicted?"
"Yeah"
Every other time that he had hurt himself over a girl. The walking into walls, the falling down stairs, that was all accidental. Joanna had never thought that Dean would purposely hurt himself over some girl. Julie would have to be a fantastic girl for Dean to be this far gone with her. "Dean, seriously, if this girl means that much to you, just talk to her again"
"I cant" Dean admitted brokenly. "I have been avoiding her all day. As soon as I look at her, I know I am going to do something stupid"
"Then give yourself some time" Joanna replied.
"How long?" Dean whispered sadly.
"How long do you need?"
Dean could not help but smile to himself. He didn't remember Joanna being like this. Being so easy to talk to, and so intelligent. She seemed to always know what to say to make him feel better. "When did you get so smart Joanna?"
"When you moved away and became a prep" She laughed.
"I am not a prep!"
"Keep telling yourself that." Joanna dismissed. "You are going to graduate your preppy school and go to preppy college, get a preppy job, meet a preppy girl and have preppy children"
"I am not a prep. I am the same Dean Portman" he assured her.
"Only in love" His sister teased. "Are you coming home for Christmas?"
"Yeah"
Joanna grinned, her brother was coming home, now she just had to ask about the brother that she had adopted the summer before. "Bringing Fulton?"
Dean laughed at the enthusiasm in his sisters voice. Every one in the family loved Fulton, it was usually the joke around the dinner table that they were disowning Dean and adopting Fulton. Dean shrugged. "He might go to his girlfriends"
"Fulton has a girlfriend, how sweet" Joanna smiled. She was glad Fulton had met some one, he deserved it. "Send him my love then"
"Will do" Dean smiled.
Joanna grinned. "Send Adam Banks my love as well"
"You have never even met Adam" Dean replied.
"Doesn't mean he is not my soul mate" Joanna smiled dreamily. She was only joking around, she had picked the first name that she remembered from the ducks, but she loved it when Dean would get protective of her.
"Please be joking" he groaned.
"Ok. Adam is not my soul mate." Joanna admitted. "That hot Latino Mendoza, now that is a man that I could…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence" Dean groaned. He could tell that she was joking. It was just something that Joanna did to annoy him. Joanna has actually never met any of the Ducks. Only Fulton, who was brought home for visits.
"When do I get to meet your friends?"
"When, umm, never" Dean replied, pretending he was thinking about it.
Joanna couldn't help but smile. "To bad, I will meet them in two months"
"Two months?" He was confused, why on earth would she be visiting the Ducks in two months, unless. Oh no, not that, anything but that.
"Sure, you think Mom and Dad would let you make your acting debut without us there, we are going to be in Minnesota, front row centre."
"Fuck no" he groaned, that had been what he had been dreading. His parents and sister coming to the play. "Can you talk them out of it?"
"Why? this is going to be fun" Joanna smiled. It was good to tease him.
"Fun?" he groaned.
"Sure"
"I will give you a hundred bucks if you get them to stay home" Dean bribed. "Two hundred"
Joanna smiled. This was to much fun. "And miss the opportunity of seeing my two favourite boys in the world prancing around in tights"
"Tights" he exclaimed. He had never thought of what they would be wearing on stage. Would Meredith really make them wear tights?
"Sure, most Shakespeare is presented in tights"
"Shit. I hate this" he groaned. "I really hate this"
"Dean, it will all be ok" she told him softly. "Everything"
"Thanks Joanna" It had been good to talk to her. Averman had been right about it all. It was amazing to think that Averman could be right about anything.
Dean looked at the others in the room and admitted. "I do miss you sometimes"
"I miss you to" Joanna grinned.
The recorded voice broke into their conversation. "Time almost up, please insert another quarter"
"Shit, Joanna, I don't have any more cash" He told her, standing from his spot on the floor.
"That's cool, I have to get to baseball training anyway" she smiled.
Dean checked his watch, with was 10 to 4, and his extra hockey practice started at 4 o'clock, so he would have to get going, as much as he didn't want to go to practice, because that meant that Julie would be there. "Yeah, I have to go to Hockey soon to"
"Ok, well, don't be a stranger, call me again" Joanna ordered playfully.
"I will, thanks for the advice" He smiled. "I love you Joanna."
"I love you to big bro"
Dean smiled as the dial tone rang in his ear. He was glad that he did that, taking to her had made everything, well, not better, but at least manageable. He didn't realise that he missed his sister. Or his whole family, as much as he did.
Turning to go to practice, he stopped, stuck, with no place to go. Standing right behind him, was the one person he had tried to ignore.
"Hi Dean" Julie whispered, looking at her feet.
"Hi"
And neither of them moved.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Shout outs
Pixie13 - Reviewing in class, I am proud of you!
Kayla - Yeah, poor misguided Portman. He thinks that they did it, but we all know that he didn't. Destruct and Self destruct is actually what I do, so that it where I got the idea for it. Things get thrown and then the tears start. It seems like such a Portman thing. Should he be going to hospital? No, he can be ok. Big tough bloke. And the cuts weren't that bad. Yeah, CSI was good, it is my favourite show.
Bloody Raine - Yeah, Julie is playing games with him, whether he knows it or not. Poor Portman.
Cake Eaters Girly 99 - Poor Dean. Everyone is saying that. The Cleavers. I am glad I got that right, I live in Australian, so I am guessing one most of these Americanisms.
Duck Hockey - Don't worry, he wont spread it around.
Snorts90 - Thank you for your review, I am glad you liked last chapter, I liked it to. I just hope that this one is satisfying.
Amy77 - Don't run around screaming, you might hurt yourself. And do cry. It will all work out.
Erin - Thank you for your review.
Melanie - Yeah, Fulton really is a big Teddy. Thank you for the review.
Disclaimer - Sue and you will get nothing
Notes - First, I am not sure if I like this chapter. It is a little, iffy in my book. Tell me what you think in your reviews. Second, remember that the Portman family calls their daughter 'Dean' and Dean something else, which will be revealed later in the story. So if Dean calls Joanna Dean, it is because of that. But I have mainly called Joanna Joanna so that it don't get confusing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lester Averman walked down the hallway of the Eden Hall dorms. It was quiet, far to quiet to be the dorm of a high school, especially a boys dorm of a high school. The few other times that he had been in these Dorms, there was always music playing and people thumping around. This morning it as different, it felt almost as though people were scared to make any noise.
There were a group of freshmen in the corner whispering, and occasionally they would look down the hall. When Averman passed them, they followed him closely with his eyes, and when he knocked on the door to Portman and Fulton's room, they began whispering and gesturing again. Averman shrugged their behaviour off as nothing, because this was not the first time that some one had stared at him before.
"Whoa" he muttered as he entered the room. It looked like a bomb had hit it. Fulton was gong through the remains, looking for anything that could be saved, and looked up at his friend as he entered the room. "Did you guys play rock star and not invite me?"
"Huh?"
"If you are going to trash a place, don't make it your own room." Averman replied.
Fulton shook his head. "Don't joke about this man"
"Ok" Was the only reply Averman gave. He knew that sometimes when things went bad, really bad in Dean's life, he would go a bit loco and trash the room. It looked like this was what was happening now. "Where is Portman"
"Showering" Fulton replied, picking up a waste paper basket and throwing some of the junk that was laying on the floor into it. "What do you want him for?"
"Practicing Shakespeare." Averman replied, holding up his playbook. "We haven't even looked at the scene that we share."
The door to the bathroom opened, and Dean exited, he looked at Averman, wondering what the hall the other guy was doing there until he realised that he had told him to drop by so that they could work on a few things. "Hey Averman"
"Portman" he nodded. "Is this a bad time to do some practice?"
"No, its cool, just let me grab a shirt" Dean replied, throwing a shirt on quickly and picking up his book. When he reached for it, Averman took a look at his hands, his hands that he had only just cleaned and put new bandages on.
"What happened to your hands Man?" Averman asked. Portman looked down at them and shrugged.
"A mirror" He replied quickly. "It's a long story"
"Would have to be" Averman smiled. Portman turned and looked to Fulton, who was still throwing things into the bin.
"Fulton, leave the cleaning, I said I would do it."
"OK man." Fulton sighed, dropping the bin to the floor and looking around. If he was not cleaning, then he had nothing that was really keeping him in the room. "I am going to the library"
"Bye Fulton" Averman replied, waving as Fulton left but never taking his eyes off of Dean's bandaged hands.
"Its just a cut Averman." Dean told him. "You don't have to stare at me"
"You really put your hand through a mirror?" Averman asked, amazed. He would not put it past him to do something like that, but it was amazing to think that he actually had punched a mirror. Averman had never met anyone who was that aggressive off of the ice as well as on it.
"You've never been angry?" Dean asked, pulling out a desk chair and sitting in it. Averman sat in the other one, turning so that he could face the other boy. "You have never wanted to smash something with your bare hands, just to see if it makes you feel better"
Averman nodded. "You are an interesting guy Portman. Because right now, you are making so much sense"
"I don't know, I guess I just needed to feel powerful" Dean muttered, flipping open his book. He hadn't really thought about why he had hit the mirror, only that as the glass broke around him, and dug into his hand, he felt just a little better about it all. Just a little, but not all that much. "Lets practice"
They read through the scene a few times and began to learn the section, they were getting good at it to, before Averman paused and stared at his hand again. The bandage was beginning to turn red with blood. "Your hand is bleeding"
Portman glanced at his hand and cursed. He stood and moved to the bathroom that was just off to the side of where he was standing. He was sure that they had one more set of bandages in there. He had seen them that morning when he had fixed his hand.
"Talking didn't help did it?" Averman called after him.
"What?" Portman stuck his head around the side of the doorway to look at him. Averman stood from where he was sitting and made his way to the bathroom door, leaning against the doorframe.
"Talking. You spoke to people about what ever it is you are going through, and it didn't help" He confirmed softly.
"I still slammed my hand into a mirror, so of course it didn't work" Dean chuckled bitterly.
"Talking is better then violence, any grade school guidance officer could tell you that, but what most guidance officers forget to tell you is that who you talk to is most important." Averman told him. Portman looked at him, confused. "You need a third party"
"Third party?" Portman asked, looking up from where he was washing off his hand.
"Some one who doesn't know what you are going through." Averman clarified for him. "Why do you think everyone you have spoken to about it so far didn't make you feel any better"
Portman thought for a few moments before realising it. "Because they know to much"
"Exactly. Fulton, Beck, Ken. Any of the ducks, they all know to much. They know you, they know Julie, and they know the situation, or at least they think they know. They already have opinions. They are biased. You need an independent third party to give you an unbiased and completely honest opinion." Averman told him casually.
Portman chuckled and echoed Averman's earlier words. "You are an interesting guy Averman, because right now, you are making a lot of sense."
As he bandaged his hand, he wondered who he would be able to talk to about all of this, who would be able to act as an unbiased third party. None of the Ducks would be able to do it, or any of his non Duck friends.
"Do you trust your mom?" Averman asked him. Portman looked at him, wondering when he had learnt to read minds.
"Sure I trust her" Portman told him.
"Do you trust her with what ever is going on in your life?" Averman asked. It was the next question, and really, it was the most important. "Or your Dad. Parents usually give the best advice."
Portman laughed hollowly. "You haven't met my parents"
Sure, Dean loved his parents, but there were some things that he knew he would never be able to share with them. This situation was something that he knew he would not be able to share.
"Your sister" Averman suggested. "Do you trust her?"
"I cant go to my sister about advice on my love life" Dean told him.
"Why not?" he asked quickly.
"It would be odd"
"I thought you and your sis were close" Averman replied.
"We are, way close" Portman admitted. "But there are just some things I don't think I would be able to talk to her about"
"Portman, think about it, you are lucky to have a sister that you get along with. My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were growing up, and I really regret it. There are things I wish I could have shared with her, and I know that she really wishes she could have been there for me." Averman explained. Dean had to admit that he did have a point. "If you cant trust your little sister, who can you trust?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dean's hands quickly punched the numbers onto to phone. "Hello, Portman Residence."
"Deanie, its me" he smiled. Maybe Averman was right, just hearing his little sister Joanna's voice made him feel better.
The voice on the other end of the line sighed. "I am sorry, I don't know any one named me"
"You know who I am." Dean replied. He could already tell that his little sister was no so happy with him. So he had not called in a little while, and obviously, she was not happy about it. "Your big brother"
"Big brother? Oh, you mean the prep who is to busy to talk to his sister." Joanna replied scathingly. Dean rolled his eyes, she could get a little melodramatic sometimes, but that was one of the things that made her a cool kid to hang out with.
"I am not to busy" Dean informed her, and then realised what the other half of the insult had been. "And I am not a prep"
"Sure you are, preppy" Joanna replied. Dean smirked to himself, imagining his little sister nonchalantly shrugging to dismiss the thought. "You forgot all about me"
Dean was hurt by the accusation. "I didn't forget all about you"
"Sure you did" She sighed. "You haven't called"
"I am sorry" He replied, leaning against the wall beside the Dorm payphones and sliding down it so that he was sitting on the floor, his feet stretched out in front of him. His bandaged hands holding the phone to his ear.
"Yeah, you better be sorry" Joanna muttered. Dean smiled a little. He could tell that by now, Joanna would have the long phone cord wrapped a few times around her. It was something that she always did when she was on the phone. Something that their mother used to always bitch at her for.
"Are the parentals around?" Dean asked.
"Dad got called into work, and mom is out grocery shopping." She replied. In the back ground, Dean could hear her opening the refrigerator, and he could practically see her dark expression as she dug through the contents. Knowing their mom, and the fact that it was shopping day, she probably had a bottle of mustard and some cabbage to choose from. "I hope she bring home something good, because we seriously have zip in this house to eat."
"I miss you Joanna." Dean mumbled. "And Muttley"
Joanna Portman almost dropped the phone. "Dean, what's wrong, we only use our real names when we are in trouble" she was suddenly scared. "Are you ok?"
"I am…" Dean began, and then took a breath. He knew he could trust her, but he was unsure if he could trust himself to explain what was going on. "I can tell you anything, right. And you wont go tell mom"
"Oh shit, they are expelling you!" Joanna laughed.
"No, I am not expelled" Dean smirked. If only it was that simple.
"Then this has something to do with a girl" She mused.
"Maybe" Dean sighed. It seemed that even with the distance, they could read each other like books.
Joanna's mind jumped to the next conclusion. "You got some preppy chick pregnant right?"
"No, its Julie" Dean replied.
"You got Julie pregnant" Joanna asked, surprised. "Julie, from your team, Julie"
"Jo, be serious, she is not pregnant. At least not with my kid anyway" Dean muttered. He didn't want to think about it, about Julie with Matt. It was a bitter spot for them.
"And that is a problem is it?" Joanna asked, jumping onto the kitchen counter. "Dean, are you in love"
Dean rolled his eyes. He could tell that by now, Joanna had worked out that that was what it was. That all of this was about a girl. "Tell mom and I will tell her who really put the scratch in her car last summer"
"Dean, you wouldn't" Joanna replied, appalled. "Dean, I would hate you forever and you need me as your friend" She paused for a second, knowing that if she fought with Dean now, she would never be able to get to the bottom of all this And there was a part of her that desperately wanted to know. "So, what is going on with Julie?"
"I like her, maybe even love her." Dean admitted softly.
"And she is with another guy?" Joanna filled in the blanks.
"Matt Goddard" Dean replied through clenched teeth.
"Matt Goddard" Joanna repeated. "What type of name is Matt Goddard anyway. He sounds like a vacuum cleaner salesman"
Dean laughed. Joanna always knew what to say to make him feel better. "I knew I could count on you kiddo"
"Yeah, I am good at insulting people" She smiled. He could feel her smile through the phone line, and suddenly, he sensed that the smile had turned into a grin. An evil grin. "You should hear the new ammunition I have to use on you, Romeo"
"Romeo?" Dean questioned. "Ah shit, how did you find out about that"
"The school called" Joanna told him. Dean groaned. Damn nosy school and their stupid phoning home policy. "Were you ever going to tell us about it?"
"The school called to tell you about the play?" he asked. It was surprising that the school would call about an English assignment.
Joanna smiled. "And the fact that you got a teacher fired"
"Crap, what did the rents have to say about that?" he asked. "Was dad pissed?"
"No, but he did the disappointed noise"
"Oh, the disappointed noise" Dean smirked. It was a noise that his father used to make, it was some where between a groan and a tisk. They both hated it.
"Yeah, I felt bad for you, and I wasn't even involved in the firing." Joanna smiled. It was one noise that could make them both feel 2 inches tall. "What did you do?"
Dean smiled triumphantly again, as he always did when some one mentioned how Old Man Walsh had been fired. "Long story, I will tell you over the Christmas turkey"
"You should really stay out of trouble, or dad is going to pull you out of Eden Hall" Joanna threatened on their fathers behalf.
"No he wont, he will send you here to look after me" Dean countered.
"Man, that would be cool, keep getting in trouble" Joanna smiled. It had been hard on her when Dean had been given the scholarship, and then when he decided not to take it because Bombay wasn't going to be there, she had been happy. Then he decided to go anyway, and she had cried for three days.
"You would hate it here" Dean said softly. Joanna sighed. "It's a prep school, and you would have no friends, you don't fit in"
"And you do?" She snapped.
"I don't, but at least I have the Ducks" Dean replied.
"So, I would have the ducks to" Joanna replied. "Or at least you and Fulton"
"You would hate it here" he repeated. He wanted to add 'just like I do' to the end of the sentence. "Plus, dad wouldn't send you here, he would do the math and realise that it is just not efficient price wise. Double plus, Eden Hall doesn't even have a baseball team Dean"
"Damn hockey school" Joanna growled. Like a lot of things, she got over it quickly. "But anyway, tell me the situation on Julie?"
"I really like her"
Joanna laughed. "Have you injured yourself yet?"
"What?"
"Injured yourself" Joanna repeated slowly, punctuating each word. "When you liked that blonde two summers ago, you walked into a brick wall. The summer before that you fell down a set of stairs when you were teaching me to blade and that dog walker went by. And don't get me started on last summer, when you hit yourself in the privates because you were to busy watching what Chloe Hannah as she served us at the steakhouse. Have you injured yourself yet?"
"Yeah, cut my hand open" he admitted, looking down at one of his bandaged hands.
"It must be love then" Joanna grinned. "That is the only explanation to your behaviour."
"Could you be serious?"
"I am serious" was her reply. "What else happened with her. Have you kissed her yet?"
"Yeah, a few times" he replied. It was amazing, he had no idea it would be this easy to talk to Joanna about this. He had thought it would be odd, but just hearing her voice was making him just tell the story.
"Did she kiss you back?" Joanna asked him.
"Yeah"
"Was she dating this other guy when you kissed her?" She asked. Then, she took on a tone of false outrage. "Are you the other man?"
Dean laughed at his sisters exclamation. "No, she started with him after I kissed her."
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
And here is was, time to swallow his pride and ask her for help. "I was hoping you would know"
"My advice" She began seriously. "Go beat the shit out of him. Make him bleed"
"Thanks, but I don't want her to hate me. She really likes him" Dean sighed. He felt like telling her that he wanted to go beat the shit through him, but it would not solve anything.
"How do you know?"
"They slept together" he muttered.
"What?" Joanna almost dropped the phone. "How do you know that?"
"I saw her leaving his bedroom last night" Dean replied softly. There were others in the room, using other phones, and he didn't want stories to make their way around the school about Julie and Matt, it would be two painful for him to hear the gossip. It would be to painful for him to see Julie in pain because of the Eden Hall grapevine.
"That means nothing." Joanna scoffed. "Last summer when Fulton visited here in Chicago, you saw me leaving his room in the middle of the night, you didn't automatically suspect us of doing anything"
"That was different, you and Fult are friends. You say so yourself, Fulton is the brother that you wanted, but you got stuck with me instead." Dean explained.
"So how do you know that Julie and Matt the vacuum salesman are not just friends" Joanna laughed. "Maybe he is trying to sell her a dust buster"
"You didn't see them" He replied, trying not to cause himself any pain by saying it outright. "They were very…
"Very what" she asked.
"I cant talk to you about this." he sighed. "You are my little sister"
"I am 15" Joanna replied casually, and once again, Dean could imagine her shrug. "I am old enough to be doing it, so I am old enough to talk about it"
Rage filled Dean's body. "You better bloody not be having sex, young lady, or I will hunt down who ever it is and kill him with my bare hands."
"What, so it is ok for you to be 16 and having sex, but it is not ok for me to be 15 and having sex" Joanna exclaimed, this time, her outrage was not fake this time.
Dean went to yell his reply into the receiver, and then looked at the other people at the phone bay. Where he was sitting on the floor, he turned his back to them, and whispered. "I am not having sex"
"Doesn't mean you cant" Joanna replied. "And it doesn't mean that you haven't before, you dirty great hypocrite"
"Are you having sex with anyone?"
"I thought this was about you and Julie" Joanna tried to change the subject.
"Answer the question Joanna Lee." he whispered dangerously.
"Why, so you can pretend to be the protective big brother?" she asked him.
"Are you?" he growled.
"Only with Fulton" Joanna replied sarcastically.
"So that's a no" he sighed and relief.
"Can we get back to your problems please?" She asked, this time successfully changing the subject. "She may not be sleeping with this guy, you don't know for sure"
"And how do I find out for sure" Dean asked.
"Ask her" She replied simply.
Dean was amazed at the suggestion. She had said it as though it was as simple as that, as though it was as easy as asking her to pass the salt at dinner. "I cant ask her"
Joanna smirked. "Fine, then go crazy thinking about Matt lips on her skin, his hands"
"Shut up" Dean snapped.
Joanna only smiled and continued. "Sliding down her back, her fingers wrapping around…"
"Shut up or I hang up" he warned.
"Fine" Joanna shrugged. "But until you know for sure, it will drive you crazy"
"But I cant ask her" Dean replied. He was just amazed that Joanna would think that it was all so simple. "I told her I didn't care"
"And why would you do something like that, you great oaf" Joanna practically yelled back.
Dean had to yell back. "Because it was what she wanted to hear"
"Dean William Portman. Have you learnt nothing from me and mom over the years" Joanna sighed, rolling her eyes. Dean cold tell that she was rolling her eyes at him. It was a family trait, and when they both did it, it was like looking into a mirror. "When a girl asks 'Does my ass look big in this?' you say"
"No" he replied.
"Good boy" Joanna smiled, if she had of been in arms distance of him, she would have patted him on the head like a dog, Dean was sure of it. "And when a chick says 'go away' she really means"
"Go away" Dean tried.
"No, she means stick around, because I am not quite sure what I want at the moment, but when I work it out, you will be the first to know" Joanna explained.
Dean sighed. "So, this means that she has worked out what she wanted?"
"It means that you are a bonehead" Joanna snapped. "You stepped back, and she thought she had lost an option"
'That is not what is going on" Dean replied quickly. "I told her to work out what she wanted, then come to me"
Joanna thought for a few seconds. "When did you tell her that"
"A few days ago"
"And you expect her to be able to make a decision between you and Matt Hoover of Hoover vacuums in just a few days. She probably needs time" she replied.
"Then why did she sleep with him" Dean asked softly.
"Because she probably didn't" Was her reply. She sighed, Joanna honestly thought that she had covered that already. "You don't know for sure that she did till you ask her"
"And how do I ask her? Oh wise and powerful Yoda" he asked sarcastically.
"I don't know, just walk up, ask her if she slept with him" She replied nonchalantly, ignoring her brothers sarcasm.
"I am not going to do that" he replied.
Joanna shrugged. "Then don't"
"I wont" He told her firmly.
"Fine" She snapped.
"Fine" He snapped back.
There was a heavy silence between the two of them. Joanna wondered if he was going to hang up on her. It would not be the first time that he had done so. "Dean, all I am saying is that you will not know for sure until you ask her. And don't just trust some one else on this. Hear it from her."
"It is just so…" Dean tried to explain it. He held the phone between his shoulder and ear, and pulled at a loose thread of one of the bandages absently. "I hate it"
"This injury?" Joanna asked softly. "Self inflicted?"
"Yeah"
Every other time that he had hurt himself over a girl. The walking into walls, the falling down stairs, that was all accidental. Joanna had never thought that Dean would purposely hurt himself over some girl. Julie would have to be a fantastic girl for Dean to be this far gone with her. "Dean, seriously, if this girl means that much to you, just talk to her again"
"I cant" Dean admitted brokenly. "I have been avoiding her all day. As soon as I look at her, I know I am going to do something stupid"
"Then give yourself some time" Joanna replied.
"How long?" Dean whispered sadly.
"How long do you need?"
Dean could not help but smile to himself. He didn't remember Joanna being like this. Being so easy to talk to, and so intelligent. She seemed to always know what to say to make him feel better. "When did you get so smart Joanna?"
"When you moved away and became a prep" She laughed.
"I am not a prep!"
"Keep telling yourself that." Joanna dismissed. "You are going to graduate your preppy school and go to preppy college, get a preppy job, meet a preppy girl and have preppy children"
"I am not a prep. I am the same Dean Portman" he assured her.
"Only in love" His sister teased. "Are you coming home for Christmas?"
"Yeah"
Joanna grinned, her brother was coming home, now she just had to ask about the brother that she had adopted the summer before. "Bringing Fulton?"
Dean laughed at the enthusiasm in his sisters voice. Every one in the family loved Fulton, it was usually the joke around the dinner table that they were disowning Dean and adopting Fulton. Dean shrugged. "He might go to his girlfriends"
"Fulton has a girlfriend, how sweet" Joanna smiled. She was glad Fulton had met some one, he deserved it. "Send him my love then"
"Will do" Dean smiled.
Joanna grinned. "Send Adam Banks my love as well"
"You have never even met Adam" Dean replied.
"Doesn't mean he is not my soul mate" Joanna smiled dreamily. She was only joking around, she had picked the first name that she remembered from the ducks, but she loved it when Dean would get protective of her.
"Please be joking" he groaned.
"Ok. Adam is not my soul mate." Joanna admitted. "That hot Latino Mendoza, now that is a man that I could…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence" Dean groaned. He could tell that she was joking. It was just something that Joanna did to annoy him. Joanna has actually never met any of the Ducks. Only Fulton, who was brought home for visits.
"When do I get to meet your friends?"
"When, umm, never" Dean replied, pretending he was thinking about it.
Joanna couldn't help but smile. "To bad, I will meet them in two months"
"Two months?" He was confused, why on earth would she be visiting the Ducks in two months, unless. Oh no, not that, anything but that.
"Sure, you think Mom and Dad would let you make your acting debut without us there, we are going to be in Minnesota, front row centre."
"Fuck no" he groaned, that had been what he had been dreading. His parents and sister coming to the play. "Can you talk them out of it?"
"Why? this is going to be fun" Joanna smiled. It was good to tease him.
"Fun?" he groaned.
"Sure"
"I will give you a hundred bucks if you get them to stay home" Dean bribed. "Two hundred"
Joanna smiled. This was to much fun. "And miss the opportunity of seeing my two favourite boys in the world prancing around in tights"
"Tights" he exclaimed. He had never thought of what they would be wearing on stage. Would Meredith really make them wear tights?
"Sure, most Shakespeare is presented in tights"
"Shit. I hate this" he groaned. "I really hate this"
"Dean, it will all be ok" she told him softly. "Everything"
"Thanks Joanna" It had been good to talk to her. Averman had been right about it all. It was amazing to think that Averman could be right about anything.
Dean looked at the others in the room and admitted. "I do miss you sometimes"
"I miss you to" Joanna grinned.
The recorded voice broke into their conversation. "Time almost up, please insert another quarter"
"Shit, Joanna, I don't have any more cash" He told her, standing from his spot on the floor.
"That's cool, I have to get to baseball training anyway" she smiled.
Dean checked his watch, with was 10 to 4, and his extra hockey practice started at 4 o'clock, so he would have to get going, as much as he didn't want to go to practice, because that meant that Julie would be there. "Yeah, I have to go to Hockey soon to"
"Ok, well, don't be a stranger, call me again" Joanna ordered playfully.
"I will, thanks for the advice" He smiled. "I love you Joanna."
"I love you to big bro"
Dean smiled as the dial tone rang in his ear. He was glad that he did that, taking to her had made everything, well, not better, but at least manageable. He didn't realise that he missed his sister. Or his whole family, as much as he did.
Turning to go to practice, he stopped, stuck, with no place to go. Standing right behind him, was the one person he had tried to ignore.
"Hi Dean" Julie whispered, looking at her feet.
"Hi"
And neither of them moved.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Shout outs
Pixie13 - Reviewing in class, I am proud of you!
Kayla - Yeah, poor misguided Portman. He thinks that they did it, but we all know that he didn't. Destruct and Self destruct is actually what I do, so that it where I got the idea for it. Things get thrown and then the tears start. It seems like such a Portman thing. Should he be going to hospital? No, he can be ok. Big tough bloke. And the cuts weren't that bad. Yeah, CSI was good, it is my favourite show.
Bloody Raine - Yeah, Julie is playing games with him, whether he knows it or not. Poor Portman.
Cake Eaters Girly 99 - Poor Dean. Everyone is saying that. The Cleavers. I am glad I got that right, I live in Australian, so I am guessing one most of these Americanisms.
Duck Hockey - Don't worry, he wont spread it around.
Snorts90 - Thank you for your review, I am glad you liked last chapter, I liked it to. I just hope that this one is satisfying.
Amy77 - Don't run around screaming, you might hurt yourself. And do cry. It will all work out.
Erin - Thank you for your review.
Melanie - Yeah, Fulton really is a big Teddy. Thank you for the review.
