Living Deceptions
Ok, I got a kinda long chapter coming your way now. Well, it's longer than the rest of the chapters. Please don't let this put you off, it had to be longer. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!
NOTE!!!
Please forgive the lack of punctuation in the conversation points. It's just that there're on a chat room, and you don't normally bother with punctuation.
Chapter 4
Clarice sat and looked at her screen. Well, this was the first formal beginning to a conversation she had seen.
"Hi." She replied simply. There was a time lapse of 2 minutes where neither of them typed. She broke the silence. "ASL?" She asked. 'Doctor' was good at typing, he delivered a quick reply.
"Clarice, please. A little less of the informalities, I barely know you." The screen said. She was slightly taken aback by this. He typed properly, in full sentences, rather than the slang version. It was easier to understand. Maybe he was new to the chat rooms!
"Are you new to this chat room thing? Because I certainly am."
"As a matter of fact, yes I am. Are you looking for love, or someone to have some fun with?" Her eyes opened wide at this. Yep, he's a typical guy. The normal guy on a chat room, nothing special, or sincere. She considered telling him to piss off, but, here, she wasn't Clarice Starling. She could be any body. She could be as bad as she wanted. Not as if this guy knew who she was, or where she lived.
"Yeah, I'm looking for some fun. You think you got what it takes big boy?" She giggled to herself, knowing that she would never say these things to anyone in real life. She waited anxiously for a reply.
"Hmmm…. That is a very tempting offer Clarice…. But I'm afraid I don't wish to be taking advantage of you. You're obviously not your usual self" -----A/N- Ok, he is SERIOUSLY dropping hints. But she just ain't biting the line!!!!---
"I am my usual self, believe me. You don't know me…. Besides, that wasn't an offer, it was a question…… but….. if your ashamed to answer it…….." She typed, getting slightly giddy and almost laughing at herself. It felt good to be able to talk like this to someone she didn't know and to get away with it.
"Tut tut Clarice. I would almost class your frankness as been rude, but seen as you are a friend, I won't take offence or call you rude." It wasn't normal for a guy to be like this on a sexy chat room like this. She'd only been online for 15 minutes and she'd figured that out. Why was this guy been so hard to tempt?
"What happens to me if you call me rude huh? What would be my punishment? Smack my bum and send me to bed?"
"Hmmm…… I'm sure I could punish you better than that, Clarice."
"Oh yeah? And what could you do that would mean so much to me?" She waited in anticipation for an answer.
"I could take away the silence that I gave you."
She froze, the only thing moving was the text cursor, slowly blinking. She felt her heart rate rise. She was suddenly more acutely aware of her surroundings. She felt a cold sweat begin to form on her brow, her mouth opened slightly, her brain trying to make sense of what had just been said. Suddenly, like a jigsaw with the last piece in place, everything that had been said made sense. For a second, her mind was paralysed. She sat, mouth gaping, breathing in short, quick breaths. Then her mind raced. The name DOCTOR, the mention of the dislike of RUDENESS, the FORMALITY of the whole conversation, the mentioning of SILENCE. The answer was dangling in front o her, but she didn't want to see it, it was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to say it. He spoke first.
"Would you like me to break your silence, Clarice? Would you like the screaming of the lambs to bring back your sleepless nights and restless days?"
She sat there. Her breath becoming painfully quick and short. She stared at the computer screen, hoping to find some hidden answer. Her hand covered her mouth in one sudden movement. For a short while, she had had the 'upper hand' on the conversation, making the wittier comments. But now, he had full control. She had to gain some of it back.
"What do you want?" She finally typed.
"No Clarice, it's more of a question of what you want. You wanted some fun, didn't you? But, I expect that your yearning of fun had somewhat diminished, so lets see what else you wanted. What else did you want Clarice?" She struggled to think, she didn't know what he wanted to hear.
"I don't know."
"Well let me remind you. You wanted to know how you were to be punished. Are you sure that you are worthy of punishment, Clarice?"
"No." She lied. Really, she was worthy of his punishment. She had done everything in her power to put him back in prison, she had helped the with the investigations with the FBI from home, she had tried a number of times to hit him when they had met, she never thanked him for the dress (which she had hung, unworn in her wardrobe) and when he offered her compassion and love, she had refused him.
"You believe that you are innocent, don't you Clarice? That you wouldn't deserve any sort of punishment, from anyone….." Suddenly, her fear was replaced by anger. How dare he try to tell her what she was feeling, from typed conversation!
"You don't have a bloody clue what I feel. Goddamn it, you say you know, but you don't. How could you, you can't hear my voice, or see my face!"
"Are you sure of that Clarice?" She stopped in mid type. (***is that a word?!?*** ) She looked out of the slightly open window onto the dimly lit street. Could he be there? Watching? NO!!! He has to be on a computer, linked up to a phone line to be on the internet. But the Johnson's across the street have the internet, and there're away on holiday, could he be there?
"Stop trying to fuck with my head, DOCTOR!!!" She typed, banging her fingers on the keys.
"Clarice, that language is unnecessary."
"Don't try to tell me what is 'unnecessary.' You come in here, telling me what I think. YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE. I am not innocent., and I deserve for you to punishment me in some extremely painful way. I am guilty of everything. I've been trying so hard to trace you, to find where you are then capture you, and you're right. It was so that the FBI would take me back. But I couldn't find you, because I'm not smart like you." She typed, as tears began to fill her eyes.
"Clarice, you are very smart. One of the smartest people I know."
"THAT IS A LIE!! If I am so smart, how come I try so hard to find you and I can't, but you find me as soon as you like? I I'm so smart, why do I believe it when you tell me that you're someone that you're not, that things will get better with time when they won't. If I'm so smart, how come after all this time I can't help falling for you!" Automatically she hit the ENTER key, and it was done. She had just told Hannibal Lecter that she was falling for him. He didn't reply. Neither did she. She got up and went to the kitchen. Unsteadily she poured herself a glass of water. She sat, contemplating what she had just done. The ping noise that indicated that he had replied hit her ears. She slowly walked back over and looked at the screen without sitting down.
"Clarice?"
That was all he had put. He was making sure she was ok.
"Clarice? Are you there?" The tears in her eyes blurred her vision, so she couldn't fully see where the EXIT CHATROOM button was. Instead ok looking for it, she simply pulled the plug on the computer, the screen falling black. She covered her face with her hands and crouched to the floor, curling up in a foetal position, and then, she cried like she had never cried before.
----------!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! What will happen next? Wait for the next chapters to find out! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!---------------
Ok, I got a kinda long chapter coming your way now. Well, it's longer than the rest of the chapters. Please don't let this put you off, it had to be longer. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!
NOTE!!!
Please forgive the lack of punctuation in the conversation points. It's just that there're on a chat room, and you don't normally bother with punctuation.
Chapter 4
Clarice sat and looked at her screen. Well, this was the first formal beginning to a conversation she had seen.
"Hi." She replied simply. There was a time lapse of 2 minutes where neither of them typed. She broke the silence. "ASL?" She asked. 'Doctor' was good at typing, he delivered a quick reply.
"Clarice, please. A little less of the informalities, I barely know you." The screen said. She was slightly taken aback by this. He typed properly, in full sentences, rather than the slang version. It was easier to understand. Maybe he was new to the chat rooms!
"Are you new to this chat room thing? Because I certainly am."
"As a matter of fact, yes I am. Are you looking for love, or someone to have some fun with?" Her eyes opened wide at this. Yep, he's a typical guy. The normal guy on a chat room, nothing special, or sincere. She considered telling him to piss off, but, here, she wasn't Clarice Starling. She could be any body. She could be as bad as she wanted. Not as if this guy knew who she was, or where she lived.
"Yeah, I'm looking for some fun. You think you got what it takes big boy?" She giggled to herself, knowing that she would never say these things to anyone in real life. She waited anxiously for a reply.
"Hmmm…. That is a very tempting offer Clarice…. But I'm afraid I don't wish to be taking advantage of you. You're obviously not your usual self" -----A/N- Ok, he is SERIOUSLY dropping hints. But she just ain't biting the line!!!!---
"I am my usual self, believe me. You don't know me…. Besides, that wasn't an offer, it was a question…… but….. if your ashamed to answer it…….." She typed, getting slightly giddy and almost laughing at herself. It felt good to be able to talk like this to someone she didn't know and to get away with it.
"Tut tut Clarice. I would almost class your frankness as been rude, but seen as you are a friend, I won't take offence or call you rude." It wasn't normal for a guy to be like this on a sexy chat room like this. She'd only been online for 15 minutes and she'd figured that out. Why was this guy been so hard to tempt?
"What happens to me if you call me rude huh? What would be my punishment? Smack my bum and send me to bed?"
"Hmmm…… I'm sure I could punish you better than that, Clarice."
"Oh yeah? And what could you do that would mean so much to me?" She waited in anticipation for an answer.
"I could take away the silence that I gave you."
She froze, the only thing moving was the text cursor, slowly blinking. She felt her heart rate rise. She was suddenly more acutely aware of her surroundings. She felt a cold sweat begin to form on her brow, her mouth opened slightly, her brain trying to make sense of what had just been said. Suddenly, like a jigsaw with the last piece in place, everything that had been said made sense. For a second, her mind was paralysed. She sat, mouth gaping, breathing in short, quick breaths. Then her mind raced. The name DOCTOR, the mention of the dislike of RUDENESS, the FORMALITY of the whole conversation, the mentioning of SILENCE. The answer was dangling in front o her, but she didn't want to see it, it was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to say it. He spoke first.
"Would you like me to break your silence, Clarice? Would you like the screaming of the lambs to bring back your sleepless nights and restless days?"
She sat there. Her breath becoming painfully quick and short. She stared at the computer screen, hoping to find some hidden answer. Her hand covered her mouth in one sudden movement. For a short while, she had had the 'upper hand' on the conversation, making the wittier comments. But now, he had full control. She had to gain some of it back.
"What do you want?" She finally typed.
"No Clarice, it's more of a question of what you want. You wanted some fun, didn't you? But, I expect that your yearning of fun had somewhat diminished, so lets see what else you wanted. What else did you want Clarice?" She struggled to think, she didn't know what he wanted to hear.
"I don't know."
"Well let me remind you. You wanted to know how you were to be punished. Are you sure that you are worthy of punishment, Clarice?"
"No." She lied. Really, she was worthy of his punishment. She had done everything in her power to put him back in prison, she had helped the with the investigations with the FBI from home, she had tried a number of times to hit him when they had met, she never thanked him for the dress (which she had hung, unworn in her wardrobe) and when he offered her compassion and love, she had refused him.
"You believe that you are innocent, don't you Clarice? That you wouldn't deserve any sort of punishment, from anyone….." Suddenly, her fear was replaced by anger. How dare he try to tell her what she was feeling, from typed conversation!
"You don't have a bloody clue what I feel. Goddamn it, you say you know, but you don't. How could you, you can't hear my voice, or see my face!"
"Are you sure of that Clarice?" She stopped in mid type. (***is that a word?!?*** ) She looked out of the slightly open window onto the dimly lit street. Could he be there? Watching? NO!!! He has to be on a computer, linked up to a phone line to be on the internet. But the Johnson's across the street have the internet, and there're away on holiday, could he be there?
"Stop trying to fuck with my head, DOCTOR!!!" She typed, banging her fingers on the keys.
"Clarice, that language is unnecessary."
"Don't try to tell me what is 'unnecessary.' You come in here, telling me what I think. YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE. I am not innocent., and I deserve for you to punishment me in some extremely painful way. I am guilty of everything. I've been trying so hard to trace you, to find where you are then capture you, and you're right. It was so that the FBI would take me back. But I couldn't find you, because I'm not smart like you." She typed, as tears began to fill her eyes.
"Clarice, you are very smart. One of the smartest people I know."
"THAT IS A LIE!! If I am so smart, how come I try so hard to find you and I can't, but you find me as soon as you like? I I'm so smart, why do I believe it when you tell me that you're someone that you're not, that things will get better with time when they won't. If I'm so smart, how come after all this time I can't help falling for you!" Automatically she hit the ENTER key, and it was done. She had just told Hannibal Lecter that she was falling for him. He didn't reply. Neither did she. She got up and went to the kitchen. Unsteadily she poured herself a glass of water. She sat, contemplating what she had just done. The ping noise that indicated that he had replied hit her ears. She slowly walked back over and looked at the screen without sitting down.
"Clarice?"
That was all he had put. He was making sure she was ok.
"Clarice? Are you there?" The tears in her eyes blurred her vision, so she couldn't fully see where the EXIT CHATROOM button was. Instead ok looking for it, she simply pulled the plug on the computer, the screen falling black. She covered her face with her hands and crouched to the floor, curling up in a foetal position, and then, she cried like she had never cried before.
----------!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! What will happen next? Wait for the next chapters to find out! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!---------------
