Spoilers: "Lawyers, Guns, and Money," "The One That Got Away" (for any high
school comments), and was "Touchdown" the one where the admiral decided to
bring Imes back? Summary: Consider this a prequel to "Close Quarters" in
order to explain why Harm and Mac seem to be buddy-buddy again all of a
sudden. And if you have any connections to TPTB, tell them they need to
look up "continuity" in the dictionary--and not just to fit into my
timeline! Note: This comes after "Following (et al) the Shifting Sands."
Despite my characterization of Mac in this series so far, I do admire all
that she has done with her life--it's her decisions about men that I have
problems with. She comes off a lot better in this chapter, though.
******
0507 EST Mac's Apartment Georgetown
Sarah MacKenzie came to the sudden realization that she was awake. And just as quickly as that fact dawned on her, the source of her state of agitation came back, too. She'd been dreaming about Harm's first day back at JAG and all of the worst-case scenarios that resulted from them being in the same building together again. It was going to be rough, if their few intense confrontations since their return from Paraguay were any indication. She groaned and pulled the covers back up around her, but her mind was wide awake now despite her desire to slip back to dreamland--and preferably one that was Rabb-free.
Yesterday morning, Admiral Chegwidden had stunned Mac and Sturgis with the news that Harm would be coming back to JAG. He'd mentioned it in passing, just as off-handedly as he had announced his intention to replace Harm with Carolyn Imes the week before. In order to keep up the façade that nothing Harmon Rabb did could affect her anymore, she'd pushed any concerns about his imminent return to the back of her mind. at least until her subconscious decided to have a field day while she slept.
Finally giving up on the prospect of falling back to sleep, Mac pushed the covers back and sat up. She hated that Harmon Rabb was influencing her like this, even in his absence, and it made her even more pissed off that he was completely oblivious to the fact. How many times had she repeated to herself and others that this was not high school when the subject of Harm came up? Normal teenagers, not hard-working adults, were the ones preoccupied with their exaggerated crushes and heart-wrenching rejections.
She stopped at the entry to the kitchen as a thought occurred to her: since neither she nor Harm had lived a typical high school student's life, maybe they were doomed to go through that phase, however delayed it may be in its coming. It was an interesting theory anyway.
Now standing in front of her coffee maker, she tried to remember exactly what her dream had been about as she prepared the machine to brew her first dose of caffeine for the day. She remembered that she and Harm were at JAG, and they were arguing in the middle of the bullpen with all of their coworkers watching. While the liquid began brewing, she fought to remember anything more specific as the smell of fresh coffee further awakened her.
With a sigh, she gave up trying to recall anything else. All she knew was the reality of the situation before her--Harm was coming back and they would have to act civilly toward each other, regardless of how either of them felt about the current circumstances.
Sure, and they'd just magically forget everything that had happened in Paraguay and all of the hurtful words they'd exchanged since. She sighed again as she poured her coffee and thought about how much of the angst in the situation she was ultimately responsible for. She'd be realizing that more and more lately as the strain in her friendship with Harm pulled itself to its breaking point.
Mac knew that she needed to try to talk to him one more time before they had to face each other at work. She may not remember any of the words exchanged in her dream, but the emotional impression they had left told her this was something she had to do if she wanted to avoid this dream becoming a reality and creating a scene at JAG Headquarters.
Luckily, she had a light day at work ahead of her to debate how to approach Harm without setting off another heated argument. But that's all the time she had left because he would be back at work the following morning.
2028 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
When Mac got off work, she debated going straight over to Harm's apartment, but decided she'd rather change out of her uniform first. Once out of uniform, she realized that she needed to finish up some of the paperwork that she brought home before she forgot about it. When she finally filed everything back into her briefcase, her stomach was growling, so she thought she would throw together some dinner before she left. Then she spilled sauce on her jeans, and while she was changing, she discovered the pile of clothes that needed to be ironed beside the laundry basket.
She knew she was procrastinating, but she was dreading this exact moment. She knew after agonizing over the entire debacle all day that she had the most fault in this whole mess, but she wasn't good at asking for anyone's forgiveness. With the way Harm had been acting lately, she didn't know if a heartfelt apology would even begin placate his bruised pride.
Mac knocked on the door and waited for him to come answer it. His reaction when he saw her on the other side would help her decide how to best proceed.
He didn't answer, so she knocked again, louder this time. Still nothing.
She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and dialed, listening to it ring through the earpiece a split second before his phone rang on the other side of the door. She didn't drive all the way out here just to turn around if he just hadn't heard her knock. Right before the machine picked up, she pressed 'end,' sighing in frustration.
He wasn't home. What was she going to do now? It was late enough right now, thanks to her procrastination, and both of them had to be at work in the morning. A late night exchange of words between two tired adults who were already wary of each other could lead to nothing but disaster if she waited around for him.
She must have stared at the door for ten minutes before she finally pulled his spare key from the bottom of her purse. The apartment was dark as she pushed the door open, and she paused as she turned on a light and waited for her eyes to adjust.
Now that she was inside, she didn't really want to get caught intruding if he came back early and didn't want her there. She made her way over to his desk and pulled out one of the blank legal pads he kept there. Taking a seat on one of the kitchen barstools, she started writing.
'Harm--I know I should have said this a long time ago, but thank you for coming to my rescue. I owe you my life yet again. I won't make any excuses for how I've treated you since then; I'll just say I'm sorry.'
She re-read the double-spaced lines she'd written, found them acceptable, then added a few more.
'I've missed my best friend. It will be good to have you back at work.'
Mac studied what she'd written, and then finally satisfied that it summed up everything that she needed to say, she signed it "Mac." This had been easier than she'd thought, but mostly because Harm wasn't there to antagonize a situation where they both needed to tread carefully.
It took her a little longer to decide where to leave the note so Harm would be sure to see it that night. Finally, she decided to leave the legal pad propped on his pillow. She clicked on the bedside lamp and stood back, reading the note one last time.
She clicked off the light in the main room as she stood in the doorway and looked back toward the lonely light she'd left on in the bedroom. Wherever Harm had gone, he didn't need to come back to a dark apartment, regardless of whether or not her visit had done any good otherwise. She'd find out at work tomorrow whether or not a few sincere words could possibly begin to repair everything she'd undone when she'd ignored Harm's plea for her to turn down the assignment that had changed their lives.
******
Written November 12-14, 2003
******
0507 EST Mac's Apartment Georgetown
Sarah MacKenzie came to the sudden realization that she was awake. And just as quickly as that fact dawned on her, the source of her state of agitation came back, too. She'd been dreaming about Harm's first day back at JAG and all of the worst-case scenarios that resulted from them being in the same building together again. It was going to be rough, if their few intense confrontations since their return from Paraguay were any indication. She groaned and pulled the covers back up around her, but her mind was wide awake now despite her desire to slip back to dreamland--and preferably one that was Rabb-free.
Yesterday morning, Admiral Chegwidden had stunned Mac and Sturgis with the news that Harm would be coming back to JAG. He'd mentioned it in passing, just as off-handedly as he had announced his intention to replace Harm with Carolyn Imes the week before. In order to keep up the façade that nothing Harmon Rabb did could affect her anymore, she'd pushed any concerns about his imminent return to the back of her mind. at least until her subconscious decided to have a field day while she slept.
Finally giving up on the prospect of falling back to sleep, Mac pushed the covers back and sat up. She hated that Harmon Rabb was influencing her like this, even in his absence, and it made her even more pissed off that he was completely oblivious to the fact. How many times had she repeated to herself and others that this was not high school when the subject of Harm came up? Normal teenagers, not hard-working adults, were the ones preoccupied with their exaggerated crushes and heart-wrenching rejections.
She stopped at the entry to the kitchen as a thought occurred to her: since neither she nor Harm had lived a typical high school student's life, maybe they were doomed to go through that phase, however delayed it may be in its coming. It was an interesting theory anyway.
Now standing in front of her coffee maker, she tried to remember exactly what her dream had been about as she prepared the machine to brew her first dose of caffeine for the day. She remembered that she and Harm were at JAG, and they were arguing in the middle of the bullpen with all of their coworkers watching. While the liquid began brewing, she fought to remember anything more specific as the smell of fresh coffee further awakened her.
With a sigh, she gave up trying to recall anything else. All she knew was the reality of the situation before her--Harm was coming back and they would have to act civilly toward each other, regardless of how either of them felt about the current circumstances.
Sure, and they'd just magically forget everything that had happened in Paraguay and all of the hurtful words they'd exchanged since. She sighed again as she poured her coffee and thought about how much of the angst in the situation she was ultimately responsible for. She'd be realizing that more and more lately as the strain in her friendship with Harm pulled itself to its breaking point.
Mac knew that she needed to try to talk to him one more time before they had to face each other at work. She may not remember any of the words exchanged in her dream, but the emotional impression they had left told her this was something she had to do if she wanted to avoid this dream becoming a reality and creating a scene at JAG Headquarters.
Luckily, she had a light day at work ahead of her to debate how to approach Harm without setting off another heated argument. But that's all the time she had left because he would be back at work the following morning.
2028 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
When Mac got off work, she debated going straight over to Harm's apartment, but decided she'd rather change out of her uniform first. Once out of uniform, she realized that she needed to finish up some of the paperwork that she brought home before she forgot about it. When she finally filed everything back into her briefcase, her stomach was growling, so she thought she would throw together some dinner before she left. Then she spilled sauce on her jeans, and while she was changing, she discovered the pile of clothes that needed to be ironed beside the laundry basket.
She knew she was procrastinating, but she was dreading this exact moment. She knew after agonizing over the entire debacle all day that she had the most fault in this whole mess, but she wasn't good at asking for anyone's forgiveness. With the way Harm had been acting lately, she didn't know if a heartfelt apology would even begin placate his bruised pride.
Mac knocked on the door and waited for him to come answer it. His reaction when he saw her on the other side would help her decide how to best proceed.
He didn't answer, so she knocked again, louder this time. Still nothing.
She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and dialed, listening to it ring through the earpiece a split second before his phone rang on the other side of the door. She didn't drive all the way out here just to turn around if he just hadn't heard her knock. Right before the machine picked up, she pressed 'end,' sighing in frustration.
He wasn't home. What was she going to do now? It was late enough right now, thanks to her procrastination, and both of them had to be at work in the morning. A late night exchange of words between two tired adults who were already wary of each other could lead to nothing but disaster if she waited around for him.
She must have stared at the door for ten minutes before she finally pulled his spare key from the bottom of her purse. The apartment was dark as she pushed the door open, and she paused as she turned on a light and waited for her eyes to adjust.
Now that she was inside, she didn't really want to get caught intruding if he came back early and didn't want her there. She made her way over to his desk and pulled out one of the blank legal pads he kept there. Taking a seat on one of the kitchen barstools, she started writing.
'Harm--I know I should have said this a long time ago, but thank you for coming to my rescue. I owe you my life yet again. I won't make any excuses for how I've treated you since then; I'll just say I'm sorry.'
She re-read the double-spaced lines she'd written, found them acceptable, then added a few more.
'I've missed my best friend. It will be good to have you back at work.'
Mac studied what she'd written, and then finally satisfied that it summed up everything that she needed to say, she signed it "Mac." This had been easier than she'd thought, but mostly because Harm wasn't there to antagonize a situation where they both needed to tread carefully.
It took her a little longer to decide where to leave the note so Harm would be sure to see it that night. Finally, she decided to leave the legal pad propped on his pillow. She clicked on the bedside lamp and stood back, reading the note one last time.
She clicked off the light in the main room as she stood in the doorway and looked back toward the lonely light she'd left on in the bedroom. Wherever Harm had gone, he didn't need to come back to a dark apartment, regardless of whether or not her visit had done any good otherwise. She'd find out at work tomorrow whether or not a few sincere words could possibly begin to repair everything she'd undone when she'd ignored Harm's plea for her to turn down the assignment that had changed their lives.
******
Written November 12-14, 2003
