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Edit 6-19-05 Fixed chapter.


The Heartbreaks of Love

By: Satin Elegance formly known asYukimaru

Chapter Five: Reliving the Past

It had pained him greatly to leave her. Seeing her break down in tears broke his heart. All his life he had wanted to become a great swordsman and training with the great Seijuro Hiko could finally fulfill that wish. He had and would of chose Kaoru over it, yet she would just look at him with a tearful smile and told him to go.

The day he had to depart from his beloved Kaoru was a day they spent together. The had made love the night before he left, him being her first and her being his. It was such a wonderful experience for them both. It was a night of longing and passion. A night where they would make sure their love was eternal. They had put in all their emotions and love in that one night. When they were tired and exhausted, both just laid in each other's arms falling into a light dreamless sleep.

In the morning, they had breakfast together talking about all the things they could do together until his train would leave at nine in the evening.

"So what do you want to do, Kenshin?" A younger sixteen year old Kaoru asked as she ate her breakfast.

"Well, I'm not sure...but we could continue what we were doing last night." Kenshin had a glint in his violet eyes.

"Mou, Kenshin! You're leaving today and all you can thing about is having...doing that!" The ebony haired teen pouted although the idea didn't seem so bad.

"Besides...there will be plently of time for that later...I mean, aren't you tired from last night?" She held in a blush recalling last night's events.

The fiery haired swordsman just smiled. "No, not really." He said his smile widening.

"Mou, Kenshin...I've never known you to be such a pervert!" Kaoru got up and washed her dishes.

Kenshin didn't comment on that. He just watched Kaoru. When she finished, she walked to the bedroom door with a small grin.

"I'll be waiting in the bedroom for you!" She turned around and gave him a wink before dashing into the bedroom.

He jumped up and using his great speed raced to the bedroom leaving his forgotten breakfast on the table.

They both decided to skip lunch. They were too...erm...busy to be hungry. Both Kenshin and Kaoru were laying on the bed unclothed but in each other's arms. Kaoru had her head rested on his chest listening to the rhythm of his steady heartbeat. Kenshin was just staring at the ceiling while playing with a lock of her silky raven hair.

"I wish you could come with me, Kaoru." Kenshin said breaking the silence.

"And I wish I could go..." She whispered back as her hand lovingly stroked his chest.

"Then why don't you! I told you once before, Kaoru. I want you always to be with me." He said his voice full of emotion.

"You know why Kenshin. My Uncle would never allow it. I have everything here for me...but I would rather give all that up for you." Tears started to form in her eyes as her voice became shaky.

"The only thing that is keeping me here is the promise I made my parents. The promise I made to myself that day when they died."

Kenshin felt something wet on his bare chest. He looked down and saw Kaoru in tears. At the sight of them, he felt his heart clench with pain. He hated to see her cry. It always reminded him of when he first met her. She was so sad and he could almost feel her pain as he came near her.

He tightened his arm that was around her waist and brought her closer to him. "No more tears, my love." He said lifting her chin up with his hand. He rolled on top of her and wiped the rest of her tears away. Her sapphire eyes just stared into his violet ones as he did this.

Kaoru then felt something poke as her thigh as he dried her tears. She could not explain how he made her feel with his touches and his kisses. She pulled him down to her crushing her lips to his.

"Kenshin...I want you...I want you in me." She said breathlessly in between heated kisses. He was more than glad to comply to her wishes.

Kenshin stood in the shower. He felt the hot streams of water comfort his sore, tense muscles. In the bedroom was Kaoru peacefully sleeping. It was already five. 'How time passes by.' He thought as he closed his eyes. Kenshin sighed painfully as the thought of leaving his raven haired angel.

The red haired swordsman closed his eyes as he let the water run down his body. He failed to notice the raven haired person walk up behind him. He slightly tensed as he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind. Instantly, he ralaxed as he felt her hands travel up to his shoulders. He groaned in delight as she worked on his shoulders releasing the tension there. He always did love her talented hands. He was too into her massage that he failed to notice one hand travel down his back and squeeze his backside. That jolted his awake as she tried to hold in her laughter.

Growling, he turned around and claimed her lips with his own. When they broke apart, he found Kaoru smiling.

"You know we can't be doing this all day. I feel like we're being a pair of sex crazed teenagers." Her voice held amusement in it.

"And that is a bad thing why...?" He asked crushing her naked body against his.

"Mou, Kenshiin. I wanted at least to go out to dinner before you left." She pouted cutely.

"Maa, maa, Kaoru. Don't worry. We'll go to dinner." He paused with a smirk on his lips.

Kenshin's hands cupped her very fine bottom lifting her up. On pure instinct, Kaoru wrapped her legs around his waist as well as her arms around his neck. She glared at Kenshin but he still had a smirk on his face.

"After we have a little fun, of course." He said as he entered her once again.

Kaoru was finally able to drag Kenshin out of his apartment. Since the restaurant wasn't too far away they decided to walk instead of driving. They walked hand in hand with smiles on their faces and laughter in the air as they talked.

"Oh, look! There it is." Kaoru said excitedly.

It was a small isolated American restaurant. The restaurant had been the place that they went to on their first real date. Kenshin had come to learn that Kaoru was a big fan of American food and he heard that this particular restaurant was the best in the city so he took her there. He could remember her face clearlyas they walked into the building.

"Wow, this placebrings back so many memories, doesn't it Kenshin?" She said with a small smile as they walked into the restaurant.

"Yes, it does." The violet eyes man smiled back as he wrapped an arm around her petite form.

The dinner was quite nice. Although Kaoru always smiled throughout the whole thing, Kenshin knew she was faking it to hide what she was feeling inside. He knew that behind that smile she was hiding her true feelings about this whole thing. She was trying so hard to be strong for him and he had to admire him for that. Because of that, it made him all the more in love with her.

After paying, they decided to go straight to the train station. Since everything was already in Kyoto, Kenshin didn't have to worry about anything. It was already eight thirty when they had reached the train station. Both felt a feeling of fear as they neared the place they would part.

Kaoru felt like her smile was falling slowly with each step they took. Like it was slowly hitting her that she would not be able to see her beloved Kenshin for a couple of years. Inside, she felt this dreading feeling like something was going to happen when if he left. Something bad. She shook her head ridding all of these negative thoughts. She reassured herself that nothing was going to happen.

"Kaoru...I want to say something to you." Kenshin stopped suddenly and turned to Kaoru as they stood beside the train.

She just looked at his with expectant eyes. She knew if she would say something she would break down in tears. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. Kenshin just stared at her thinking carefully about how to say what he felt.

"You know I would do anything to be with you. I would stay with you if you wanted me to. You mean more to me than going to Kyoto. But it is your wish and you told me to go so I will." Kenshin paused as he brought his hand up to her cheek.

"I want you to remember me even when I'm gone." He continued his other hand reaching into his pocket.

Kaoru could only watch unable to say anything. She could already feel the tears brimming up in her eyes. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering. Kenshin brought out his hand from his pocket and opened it. There laying in his palm was a beautiful white gold ring with one large sapphire accented by two diamonds one on each side. Kaoru's eyes widened.

"Kenshin...that's your grandmother's ring." She said softly staring at the beautiful piece of jewelry.

"I know...that's why I want to give it to you. My mom told me that I should give it to the one that I love with all my heart and soul. That's you Kaoru." He said his voice and eyes full of emotion.

She couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks as she heard his words. Kenshin lifted up her right hand and placed it on her ring ringer. Just like he thought it would be, it was a perfect fit.

"I knew it would fit perfectly on you." He smiled and pulled Kaoru into an embrace lifting her off the floor.

"All aboard! The train for Kyoto is leaving in five minutes!" The heard a man said walking down the train's side.

Kaoru's grip tightened after she heard that. He pulled back just slightly and kissed her with all the emotions he had in him. She responded in the same way.

"I love you Kaoru. Always and forever." He whispered holding her close to him.

"I love you too..." Tears made their way down her cheeks as she said that.

He pulled away and wiped her tears with a sad smile on his face. His eyes roamed Kaoru's face and body as if they were trying to taking in all of her so he could remember every single inch of her. Kaoru did the same as the tears just continued to fall.

"Take this ring, my Kaoru-chan. May it always remind you of me. I will never forget you either, dearest. Sayonara." He whispered as he held the hand in which the ring was on.

They kissed once last time before breaking apart. Kaoru watched with tearful eyes as he walked onto the train.

"Good-bye, my love." She whispered as the train started and sped away.

As soon as Kenshin got to Kyoto, he went to the nearest bar. He could already feel himself missing his raven haired angel. He longed for her touch, her kiss, her taste. The fiery haired man ordered the strongest drink as he sat down.

As soon as he got the glass, he drowned down the contents wincing at the strong taste of the alcohol traveling down his throat. He called for another one and failed to noticed the woman beside him.

After the second drink, he turned over to the dark haired woman. She had black hair that was tied at the nape of her neck but had her front layers framing her face. Kenshin had to admit she was very beautiful. But it was not like Kaoru's innocent yet sexy, beautiful. No, it was the dangerous kind of beautiful, thelook but can't touch beautiful. Her skin was pale and her eyes were a dark, almost black, brown.

She turned to look at him with a smile as she watched him finish another glass. She had instantly noticed him when she walked in. His fiery red mane of hair attracted her immediately.

"Something must be wrong, if you're drinking all of that." Her voice was soft and professional like she had done this many times before.

"Something did. I had to leave the love of my life back in Tokyo." Kenshin answered as he started to feel the affects of the liquor.

So she had competition. The dark haired woman slightly frowned but it then changed into a smile. Nevertheless, I will make him mine and forget about that slut in Tokyo. She thought already envious of the girl she did not even know.

"I'm Yukishiro Tomoe." She said looking into Kenshin's violet eyes.

"Himura Kenshin." Was the answer.

"Well, Kenshin...How about you tell me about this girl while I buy you another drink..." She stated calling the bartender.

And so he did. He told her mostly everything about their relationship. Tomoe had to hold in the hatred she felt for this girl who had his heart. She was so jealous of the love they shared. But either way, she thought with a smirk, she would make Kenshin hers.

When Kenshin got drunk enough, Tomoe decided to take him to his apartment. Calling a taxi, she helped him inside the yellow car. Kenshin had mumbled the address and they were off to his apartment. They got there and Tomoe paid taking Kenshin out of the taxi. She was thankful he could still walk. He just sluggishly followed her up to his apartment. When they got there, she used the key he had given her while they were in the taxi and opened the door. She hurriedly got him to bed leaving all of his clothes but taking off his shoes. Tomoe decided it would be best to stay so she found herself falling asleep on the couch.

Kenshin woke up with a huge headache. He could hardly remember what happened when he arrived in Kyoto. He could even remember how he got home. He was silently thankful that no unknown woman was in the bed with him. Everything was such a blur after he met that Tomoe woman.

The door opened and his violet eyes saw the slightly blurred figure of Tomoe walking in with a mug that had steam rising from the liquid contents inside.

"Here, some hot tea to ease your headache. You had a lot to drink last night." She said handing him the cup as he muttered a 'thank you'.

After the soothing liquid made its way down his sore, parched throat, Kenshin found himself able to finally talk. "You stayed here all night?" His voice was a bit rough so he took another sip of the warm tea.

She nodded and took a seat on the bed next to him. Tomoe watched him carefully as he continued to drink the tea. Kenshin got slightly uncomfortable with the silence so he decided to speak.

"What time is it?" He asked resting the mug in his lap.

"It's already once in the afternoon." She said calmly still looking at him with her dark brown eyes.

Kenshin's eyes widened visibly. One already! He needed to check his mail. For sure he would receive Kaoru's letter today. Tomoe watched with slightly narrowed eyes as she watched him panic.

"I need to go get Kaoru's letter." He said about to get up but Tomoe stood and stopped him.

"Let me get it for you. You need to rest." She said with a small, soft smile as she pushed him back on the bed.

He was shocked but let her go. Kenshin watched as she left the room quietly. He began to notice the difference between the two, Kaoru and Tomoe. Tomoe was more quiet and graceful with a reserved kind of feel to her. Kaoru, on the other hand, was friendly and outspoken yet she can sometimes be a klutz but that made her charm all the more irresistible especially to him. As soon as she was out the door, Tomoe's eyes narrowed dangerously. A plan sprung into her head as she reached the mailbox located outside his apartment door. Inside, she found only one letter. She stared...err...glared at it for a while. Kamiya Kaoru. She could feel her hatred for this girl grow immensely.

Taking it back into the apartment, she dropped it into her purse. Smiling to herself about her handiwork, Tomoe walked back into the bedroom to find Kenshin staring as a picture of Kaoru. She glared at this picture before clearing her throat causing him to look up at her. She noticed the sadness yet undying love swimming in his beautiful lavender eyes. Tomoe always yearned to have someone love her like that. She idly wondered what was so special about that little girl in the picture. And that's what Kaoru was to Tomoe. A little girl in the way of the man she wanted. Kenshin. Going back to Kenshin, she noticed he was looking at her expectantly.

"There was nothing there." She said with an indifferent voice.

"Are you sure?" She just nodded while sitting on the bed once again.

"That's odd. Kaoru said she'd send one everyday." Kenshin said sighing.

"Maybe it will come tomorrow." Tomoe said thinking about how she would make sure thatKaoru's letters would never make it to Kenshin's hands.

And that's how it all started. Everyday Tomoe would always be there to take the letters Kaoru would send to Kenshin in hoped that he would forget about her. And just the same, she would make sure his letters never got to that annoying little girl in Tokyo.

Slowly, Kenshin went into a small state of depression. It wasjust exactly how she wanted it. And alwaysTomoe was there for him. They soon got closer and closer. Yet whenever he was with Tomoe, he felt something tugging at his heart in silent protest to their advancing. He had found himself getting to be cold and indifferent due to the training and the lack of Kaoru's cheerfulness in his life.

Soon enough, they moved in together in Kenshin's apartment. He had grown to love Tomoe yet it was not the same way he had loved Kaoru. He could never love anyone more than he loved Kaoru and no one would ever take her place in his heart.

Over the years, many things had happened. He had excelled in his swordsmanship almost mastering the famous sword's style, Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, completely. He also received his well-known cross shaped scar from trying to protect Tomoe from some thugs that threatened her. Yet every so often he would think and have dreams of when he was truly happy with his raven haired angel.


Kenshin sat on his bed alone in his apartment. Tomoe had gone out with her friends for the night so she wouldn't be home until later on that night. But that wasn't what was bothering him. The fact that he had seen his beloved Kaoru after all these long, lonely years had been bothering him all day.

He had to admit she had grown into a beautiful young woman. And for those few moments that he held her in his arms and smelled her enticing scent of jasmine, he was once more truly happy. Just holding her brought back so many comforting memories that he couldn't believe he hadalmost forgot. With Tomoe, he never felt this way. The only feeling he got from her wasthat he felt like he wasn't alone anymore. She filled in that empty space in his heart that wanted nothing else but to feel that love again that he felt for Kaoru. But it didn't even fill in half of that void.

Going back to his encounter with Kaoru, what she had shocked him. She had said he never tried to contact her but he was more than sure that he did. All those letters he sent to her over those ten long years. It was him that never got anything from her. She acted as if he never tried to contact her over the years. She made it seem as if she was the one that tried to contact him. But if she did, where was the proof?

Kenshin sighed and got up. It was just too much for him. He headed over to the closet and tried to get the box with all his things that reminded him of Kaoru. Accidentally, one box that was on top of it fell and opened spilling all of it's contents all over the floor. Kenshin's violet eyes widened. On the floor was tons of envelopes with stamps. Picking some up, he looked at them carefully. Most of them had his name in the center of the envelope and Kaoru's name on the upper left corner but then some had the opposite. He recognized these as the ones he mailed to Kaoru.

Kenshin peered at the box. It belonged to Tomoe, for sure. His eyes narrowed and the once dark lavender color turned a shade lighter having an amber hue to it. Angrily, he looked at all the shipping dates of the letters. They all dated all the way to ten years ago. At the bottom of the box he saw one letter laying there. Suddenly, he felt the urge to open it. Before he knew it he had it opened as if something was possessing to do so. He read it.

Kenshin,

I miss you so much. As soon as you left I found myself home weeping my eyes out until I could not cry anymore. I just missed you so much. You eyes, your hair, your touch, your smile, your kiss, and the way you make me feel when I am with you. It hurts so much but I will be strong for you. Write me back when you get this. I love you a lot...more than you'll ever know.

Love always,

Kaoru Kamiya

P.S. Did I say I love you? Well, I know I did but...I love you and I miss you!

Kenshin noticed some of the ink from the pen was smeared and faded as if it got wet and the water washed some of the ink away. His eyes widened as he realized it was her tears that must of caused this. Kenshin felt his heart constrict with an unexplainable pain. Why would Tomoe do this? Hide all of Kaoru's letters? He couldn't understand what kind of person would do such a thing. After everything he had done for her. This is what she did to him.

He picked up another letter which dated seven years ago. He opened it and read it...

Kenshin,

I don't know why I'm till writing to you. It's been two years and no answer but I guess I will hope this will get to you somehow.

I'm already starting my senior year in high school. Misao and I are really excited. You remember Misao right? Well, she's going out with some guy from college named Aoshi Shinomori. He's way old for her...but I guess not really because look at us. We're about five years apart. Compared to our age difference theirs seems like nothing..

Uhm...what else? I miss you a lot. I've been trying to think of reasons why you haven't replyed back for two years but they all seem like something you wouldn't do. But I will keep sending these letters until you do write back. I wish I could go over there but right now I can't afford a train ticket and I know my Uncle won't pay so I will just have to wait patiently.

Wow, it's already midnight.I have to go to sleep. School's tomorrow you know. Wish me luck! Don't worry about the boys. There's no one else but you. That's how it will always be. Love you lots! Ciao. (Misao taught me that.)

Love always,

Kaoru Kamiya

Kenshin almost crumpled the paper in his fist. All this time she had been sending him all of these letters yet Tomoe hid them from him. He trusted her. He brought himself to think that he could learn to love her and he almost thought he did. Kenshin looked back down at the letters and found the last one that was send which was four years ago.

Kenshin,

This is the last letter I will send. I'm sure you have your own reasons for not replying but I'm tired of wasting my time. It's been already six years and I want to move on. But remember you will always have a place in my heart. I wish you the best in your life. May you be happy. Good-bye Kenshin.

Kaoru.

Violet eyes closed as he felt a single tear fall down his cheek. She moved on and so did he. He thought she didn't even care and forgot about him but she must have felt the same. Slowly his eyes opened. They were not longer their usual shade of a soft, gentle violet but they had darkened into a cold, dangerous amber.

I'm going to have a little talk with Tomoe later... He thought as his eyes narrowed.


Author's Note:

(1/6/04) Well...there you go. The fifth chapter of The Heartbreaks of Love. I tried to keep this as PG-13 as I could. I really did want to put in a lemon but...I thought it was better that I shouldn't. Maybe if some people want it I'll revise it and add a small lemon to it. But if not I think it will stay this way. Thank you to my reviewers. I hoped you liked this chapter. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get it out but I have school starting again tomorrow and I had to get ready for it so I didn't have a lot of time to finish typing it out. It was a really long chapter. I'll try to get the next chapter up sometime this weekend so stay tuned for it.

Answers to the Reviews:

Serenity Blossom: Thank you for your review. I'm glad you like my story. Keep reading and reviewing!

Orchidaceae: I'm happy you like this pairing. I know what you mean about not finding many Aoshi/Kaoru pairings. Other than KxK, it is my favorite pairing. There will be more KxK encounters I want to satisfy my Kenshin and Kaoru fans out there so yes. Well, I want to make him go after her. And most probably he will but I'll see what I'll think of so you just have to wait and see. ! Thank you for your review. Please keep on reading.