INT. HOTEL JEANNE D'ARC - EARLY EVENING
Sydney is sitting on the bed in a small hotel room. It's sparse but clean and cozy. She's already wearing the trademark blue uniform of the Paris police force. (Sark wore one when he and Syd went on their mission in Paris.) All she's missing is the hat. She yells toward the bathroom:
SYDNEY
Come on, Vaughn, even I don't take this long to get ready.
We hear him on the other side of the door.
VAUGHN
That doesn't mean anything. You're like the Mary Poppins of quick changing spies. All you have to do is spin around and the old outfit flies off while the new one is sucked on.
Syd smiles.
SYDNEY
You only wish that were true.
VAUGHN
Did we really have to dye my hair?
SYDNEY
We didn't dye it. We just frosted the tips.
VAUGHN
Same difference. (beat) And since when do I have to get all dressed up to go on a mission? I've never had to do it before.
SYDNEY
And look how many times you've been made.
VAUGHN
Alright. I'll give you that one.
We hear a zipper unzip. No, not like that!
VAUGHN
Aw, hell no. I thought this wasn't supposed to be a gay pool hall.
SYDNEY
What are you talking about?
VAUGHN
I am (grunt) going to (grunt) kill your father.
He grunts one last time for emphasis.
SYDNEY
Why?
VAUGHN
I knew I didn't like the look on his face when he handed me this stupid garment bag.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, what the hell... Oh my.
He's finally stepped out of the bathroom. His hair is particularly spiked and the tips are lightly frosted. He's shaved his stubble to form a goatee. He's barefoot and he has on a tight but not skintight long-sleeved collared button-up black shirt. But the source of his complaints is the pair of leather pants he's wearing. They're also not skintight but they're tight enough. Syd raises an eyebrow and covers her mouth with her hand to stifle the laughter. He sighs and fidgets a bit.
VAUGHN
See what I mean.
She recovers slightly.
SYDNEY
I like the goatee.
Vaughn rolls his eyes.
VAUGHN
Syd...
She's still barely holding on.
SYDNEY
And the hair looks good.
He puts his hands on his hips. That's it. With that one gesture she's laughing.
VAUGHN
I'm so glad my pain amuses you.
SYDNEY
Oh please, they're just leather pants, you big baby. I've worn them dozens of times on missions. They're like new jeans you just have to break them in.
Vaughn starts walking around. He's still fidgeting.
VAUGHN
They are nothing like jeans. Jeans are comfortable and they breathe nicely. But these... My legs are already sweating and I think I'm starting to chafe.
SYDNEY
Are you wearing underwear cause sometimes it's better...
He gives her a look.
SYDNEY
I'm just trying to help. (beat) What about if you do some stretches? That always helps me.
VAUGHN
Fine.
He awkwardly gets down on the floor and starts stretching like a hockey player. Syd's watching him and she gets an idea.
SYDNEY
Maybe that's the best way to look at this.
Vaughn looks up at her.
VAUGHN
What?
SYDNEY
You played on hockey teams for years, right? Did you ever get nervous before a game?
VAUGHN
Always.
SYDNEY
How did you cope?
VAUGHN
You mean other than throwing up?
SYDNEY
You threw up?
VAUGHN
I didn't do it every game but when things would get really bad that always helped.
SYDNEY
Anything else?
VAUGHN
I had a coach that would play this song to get us loosened up.
SYDNEY
Yeah? Which one?
VAUGHN
It's called "Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter. They play it all the time at the Kings' games. It's the one where you just keep yelling 'Hey!'
SYDNEY
I like that song. Use it.
VAUGHN
I'll try. (beat) What about you? Do you have any pre-game rituals?
SYDNEY
I use music too. I like to pick a song that seems to work for whatever role I'm playing and strut in to the beat.
VAUGHN
So that's where the strutting comes from.
SYDNEY
Well, I don't usually strut so that helps me focus. (beat) Are the pants feeling better?
He stops stretching and starts walking around with a little less fidgeting.
VAUGHN
A little. I'm still sweating though.
SYDNEY
Just don't take them off then. You'll never get them back on.
He raises an eyebrow.
VAUGHN
Then you better make sure you get me out of there before Madame Gagne has her way with me or else you'll be escorting one agent sans pants back to the van.
Syd gets serious.
SYDNEY
Oh, don't worry. I'll be there right on schedule.
Vaughn smiles.
VAUGHN
Jealous, Miss Bristow?
She gives him a look.
SYDNEY
Oh, just shut up, Pool Boy.
Vaughn starts to laugh and then stops when he realizes what she just called him.
VAUGHN
Pool Boy? Don't tell me...
She smiles wickedly.
SYDNEY
Oh yeah.
VAUGHN
I knew your father hated me. I just never knew how much until today.
SYDNEY
I told you he doesn't hate you. Actually you should be grateful that he's paying attention to you at all. I'd be more concerned if he were completely ignoring you.
VAUGHN
Somehow that thought is of little comfort.
He's still fidgeting.
SYDNEY
Look, you can't fidget like that once you go in there.
He keeps doing it.
VAUGHN
I can't help it. They're uncomfortable.
SYDNEY
To you, yes. But Luc likes to wear them because he thinks they make him look good. So stop fighting it and just relax. Let the clothes work for you. Let them guide your movements and keep you in character.
Vaughn is still fidgeting a little.
VAUGHN
Ohhh, words of wisdom from Zen and the Art of Disguise by Sydney Bristow.
Syd looks at him and she can tell that it's more than just the pants. He's protesting a bit too much.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, stop it.
Her tone halts his constant movements and he looks at her.
SYDNEY
It's okay to be nervous. I still get butterflies before I go in. It's part of the fun. You don't have to hide it with me. In fact it's better that you don't. If you try to suppress it, it'll only get away from you and trip you up. You have to learn to work through it.
He's obviously frustrated and starts moving around again.
VAUGHN
That's what I'm trying to do with my apparently lame attempts at humor.
SYDNEY
No, what you're doing is avoiding the issue. I thought you promised me that you weren't going to shut me out anymore.
He stops and looks at her.
VAUGHN
I did.
SYDNEY
And?
VAUGHN
Syd, I've seen you do this a hundred times and you always make it look easy.
SYDNEY
That's because I've been doing it for over a decade.
VAUGHN
Exactly. I don't have that kind of experience.
SYDNEY
You make it sound like you've never gone undercover before.
VAUGHN
Not this deep I haven't. And I've never been the point guy on an op like this.
SYDNEY
But you've been on them with me.
VAUGHN
That's the problem. You were always there. This time...
SYDNEY
I'll still be there. So will Weiss and my dad.
She walks over and opens the case sitting on the bed. She takes out a small silver pinky ring with a raised cross on it.
SYDNEY
Here. The ring is an omni-directional mike that will allow us to hear everything.
She hands it to him and he puts it on. Then she takes out a glasses case and opens it to reveal a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.
SYDNEY
These are a camera so we'll be able to keep an eye on you.
Vaughn turns the glasses over in his hands.
VAUGHN
Really? The frame looks way too thin.
SYDNEY
One of Marshall's new toys.
Vaughn shakes his head.
VAUGHN
I swear I still don't know how he's going to be the first in our age group to have kids.
Sydney laughs. While he tries on the glasses she takes out one final item. It's tiny and clear.
SYDNEY
You think that was cool, check this out. It's a new transparent earpiece that practically disappears when you put it in.
Vaughn slips it into his ear and turns so Syd can see if she can tell he's wearing it.
SYDNEY
Wow, Marshall wasn't kidding. I can barely see it.
VAUGHN
Miracle Ear for spies.
He says the quip with only a fraction of his usual enthusiasm.
SYDNEY
I keep telling you. Just relax. You'll do fine. And if anything goes wrong we're just around the block.
He looks down and plays with the ring and then adjusts the glasses. He looks at her.
VAUGHN
Thanks.
Syd smiles.
SYDNEY
How many times were you there for me when I needed you?
VAUGHN
Still, I appreciate it.
He absently reaches up and rubs his neck. He's tense. Syd sighs.
SYDNEY
Come here.
She kneels on the bed and motions for him to sit on the edge in front of her.
SYDNEY
We've got a few minutes so let me give you a massage to loosen you up.
VAUGHN
That's okay. I'll be fine.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, look at you. You're a wreck. You can't go in there like this. They'll make you before you've got both feet in the door.
He relents and sits down. She starts working the knots out of his neck and shoulders.
SYDNEY
Now just focus on breathing in and out. In and out. In and out.
She continues to repeat that phrase and his chest begins to rise and fall to the rhythm of her words. It's obviously working cause his eyes drift close and his head starts to drop.
VAUGHN
Mmmm, that feels great.
His voice is low and comes out in almost a groan. Syd looks down at him. She's suddenly aware of how close she is too him. Now she's nervous.
SYDNEY
No talking. Just breathe.
He starts to roll his head around as she works the kinks out.
VAUGHN
Mmmm, Syd, right there.
She swallows hard.
SYDNEY
What did I say about talking?
He starts to lean his head and back toward her to increase the pressure.
VAUGHN
Sorry. It's just I forgot how good you were with your hands, how strong they were.
He's really close now and while he was speaking his head drifted back and when she looks down their faces are inches from each other. She licks her lips and he slowly opens his heavy eyelids as he smiles. Suddenly she stops and gets off the bed. He turns toward her in confusion, now completely awake. Her arms are crossed defensively. Her tone is forced.
SYDNEY
Well, I think that should be good.
She's obviously bothered by what's just happened. He instantly feels bad.
VAUGHN
Syd, I'm so sorry. I...
SYDNEY
No, it's okay. I shouldn't have suggested it.
He just looks at her intently.
VAUGHN
Then why did you?
SYDNEY
I just thought it would help you relax and take your mind off the mission.
He smiles ruefully.
VAUGHN
Well, it worked.
She smiles slightly.
SYDNEY
Maybe a little too well.
He nods. There's a knock on the door. From the other side we hear Weiss.
WEISS
Are you two done in there? It's time to go.
Vaughn looks at Syd nervously before he takes off for the bathroom. He closes the door behind him just as Syd opens it for Weiss and her dad. Weiss dressed in the same uniform that she is but Jack is dressed in a black turtleneck, slacks, and a long coat like he was in ATY. They both come in and look toward the bathroom where they can hear Vaughn throwing up. Weiss nods.
WEISS
Well, that's a good sign.
Jack just looks at him.
WEISS
Old hockey tradition.
Jack nods.
JACK
Yes, well he better eat something before he leaves. He's going to be expected to drink and we wouldn't want him to be inebriated after his first sip.
SYDNEY
I'll tell him. Just give us one more minute. I'll meet you out back at the van.
At this point Vaughn walks out of the bathroom drying off his face with a towel. They all look at him with concern. He waves them off.
VAUGHN
I'm okay. Honestly. I needed to do that.
Jack just considers him for a moment. Weiss pipes in:
WEISS
We're going to the van to get into position.
VAUGHN
I'll head out in about 20 minutes then.
Jack and Weiss leave. They face each other. Vaughn does look a little better.
SYDNEY
My dad said you should eat some pastries. We don't want Madame Gagne to get you drunk and take advantage of you too easily.
Vaughn smiles.
VAUGHN
Is that last part his or yours?
Syd returns his smile coyly.
SYDNEY
What do you think?
She steps back and looks him over. He humors her and even does a complete turn so she can see the back. She laughs lightly. Then she unbuttons one of the buttons on the top of his shirt to expose more of his chest. After that smoothes some wrinkles from the shoulders of his shirt, running her hands along them and down his arms where she adjusts the cuffs. He just watches her intently. While she's doing this she says:
SYDNEY
Remember, the keys are confidence and relaxation.
Satisfied she steps back and looks at him one more time.
SYDNEY
And I'm right here if you need me.
He smiles softly.
VAUGHN
I know. My guardian angel.
She smiles and then quickly leans forward and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
SYDNEY
Good luck and be careful.
VAUGHN
You too.
She smiles shyly, looks down, and tucks her hair behind her ear before she picks her cap off the bed and leaves.
CUT TO:
Sydney is sitting on the bed in a small hotel room. It's sparse but clean and cozy. She's already wearing the trademark blue uniform of the Paris police force. (Sark wore one when he and Syd went on their mission in Paris.) All she's missing is the hat. She yells toward the bathroom:
SYDNEY
Come on, Vaughn, even I don't take this long to get ready.
We hear him on the other side of the door.
VAUGHN
That doesn't mean anything. You're like the Mary Poppins of quick changing spies. All you have to do is spin around and the old outfit flies off while the new one is sucked on.
Syd smiles.
SYDNEY
You only wish that were true.
VAUGHN
Did we really have to dye my hair?
SYDNEY
We didn't dye it. We just frosted the tips.
VAUGHN
Same difference. (beat) And since when do I have to get all dressed up to go on a mission? I've never had to do it before.
SYDNEY
And look how many times you've been made.
VAUGHN
Alright. I'll give you that one.
We hear a zipper unzip. No, not like that!
VAUGHN
Aw, hell no. I thought this wasn't supposed to be a gay pool hall.
SYDNEY
What are you talking about?
VAUGHN
I am (grunt) going to (grunt) kill your father.
He grunts one last time for emphasis.
SYDNEY
Why?
VAUGHN
I knew I didn't like the look on his face when he handed me this stupid garment bag.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, what the hell... Oh my.
He's finally stepped out of the bathroom. His hair is particularly spiked and the tips are lightly frosted. He's shaved his stubble to form a goatee. He's barefoot and he has on a tight but not skintight long-sleeved collared button-up black shirt. But the source of his complaints is the pair of leather pants he's wearing. They're also not skintight but they're tight enough. Syd raises an eyebrow and covers her mouth with her hand to stifle the laughter. He sighs and fidgets a bit.
VAUGHN
See what I mean.
She recovers slightly.
SYDNEY
I like the goatee.
Vaughn rolls his eyes.
VAUGHN
Syd...
She's still barely holding on.
SYDNEY
And the hair looks good.
He puts his hands on his hips. That's it. With that one gesture she's laughing.
VAUGHN
I'm so glad my pain amuses you.
SYDNEY
Oh please, they're just leather pants, you big baby. I've worn them dozens of times on missions. They're like new jeans you just have to break them in.
Vaughn starts walking around. He's still fidgeting.
VAUGHN
They are nothing like jeans. Jeans are comfortable and they breathe nicely. But these... My legs are already sweating and I think I'm starting to chafe.
SYDNEY
Are you wearing underwear cause sometimes it's better...
He gives her a look.
SYDNEY
I'm just trying to help. (beat) What about if you do some stretches? That always helps me.
VAUGHN
Fine.
He awkwardly gets down on the floor and starts stretching like a hockey player. Syd's watching him and she gets an idea.
SYDNEY
Maybe that's the best way to look at this.
Vaughn looks up at her.
VAUGHN
What?
SYDNEY
You played on hockey teams for years, right? Did you ever get nervous before a game?
VAUGHN
Always.
SYDNEY
How did you cope?
VAUGHN
You mean other than throwing up?
SYDNEY
You threw up?
VAUGHN
I didn't do it every game but when things would get really bad that always helped.
SYDNEY
Anything else?
VAUGHN
I had a coach that would play this song to get us loosened up.
SYDNEY
Yeah? Which one?
VAUGHN
It's called "Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter. They play it all the time at the Kings' games. It's the one where you just keep yelling 'Hey!'
SYDNEY
I like that song. Use it.
VAUGHN
I'll try. (beat) What about you? Do you have any pre-game rituals?
SYDNEY
I use music too. I like to pick a song that seems to work for whatever role I'm playing and strut in to the beat.
VAUGHN
So that's where the strutting comes from.
SYDNEY
Well, I don't usually strut so that helps me focus. (beat) Are the pants feeling better?
He stops stretching and starts walking around with a little less fidgeting.
VAUGHN
A little. I'm still sweating though.
SYDNEY
Just don't take them off then. You'll never get them back on.
He raises an eyebrow.
VAUGHN
Then you better make sure you get me out of there before Madame Gagne has her way with me or else you'll be escorting one agent sans pants back to the van.
Syd gets serious.
SYDNEY
Oh, don't worry. I'll be there right on schedule.
Vaughn smiles.
VAUGHN
Jealous, Miss Bristow?
She gives him a look.
SYDNEY
Oh, just shut up, Pool Boy.
Vaughn starts to laugh and then stops when he realizes what she just called him.
VAUGHN
Pool Boy? Don't tell me...
She smiles wickedly.
SYDNEY
Oh yeah.
VAUGHN
I knew your father hated me. I just never knew how much until today.
SYDNEY
I told you he doesn't hate you. Actually you should be grateful that he's paying attention to you at all. I'd be more concerned if he were completely ignoring you.
VAUGHN
Somehow that thought is of little comfort.
He's still fidgeting.
SYDNEY
Look, you can't fidget like that once you go in there.
He keeps doing it.
VAUGHN
I can't help it. They're uncomfortable.
SYDNEY
To you, yes. But Luc likes to wear them because he thinks they make him look good. So stop fighting it and just relax. Let the clothes work for you. Let them guide your movements and keep you in character.
Vaughn is still fidgeting a little.
VAUGHN
Ohhh, words of wisdom from Zen and the Art of Disguise by Sydney Bristow.
Syd looks at him and she can tell that it's more than just the pants. He's protesting a bit too much.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, stop it.
Her tone halts his constant movements and he looks at her.
SYDNEY
It's okay to be nervous. I still get butterflies before I go in. It's part of the fun. You don't have to hide it with me. In fact it's better that you don't. If you try to suppress it, it'll only get away from you and trip you up. You have to learn to work through it.
He's obviously frustrated and starts moving around again.
VAUGHN
That's what I'm trying to do with my apparently lame attempts at humor.
SYDNEY
No, what you're doing is avoiding the issue. I thought you promised me that you weren't going to shut me out anymore.
He stops and looks at her.
VAUGHN
I did.
SYDNEY
And?
VAUGHN
Syd, I've seen you do this a hundred times and you always make it look easy.
SYDNEY
That's because I've been doing it for over a decade.
VAUGHN
Exactly. I don't have that kind of experience.
SYDNEY
You make it sound like you've never gone undercover before.
VAUGHN
Not this deep I haven't. And I've never been the point guy on an op like this.
SYDNEY
But you've been on them with me.
VAUGHN
That's the problem. You were always there. This time...
SYDNEY
I'll still be there. So will Weiss and my dad.
She walks over and opens the case sitting on the bed. She takes out a small silver pinky ring with a raised cross on it.
SYDNEY
Here. The ring is an omni-directional mike that will allow us to hear everything.
She hands it to him and he puts it on. Then she takes out a glasses case and opens it to reveal a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.
SYDNEY
These are a camera so we'll be able to keep an eye on you.
Vaughn turns the glasses over in his hands.
VAUGHN
Really? The frame looks way too thin.
SYDNEY
One of Marshall's new toys.
Vaughn shakes his head.
VAUGHN
I swear I still don't know how he's going to be the first in our age group to have kids.
Sydney laughs. While he tries on the glasses she takes out one final item. It's tiny and clear.
SYDNEY
You think that was cool, check this out. It's a new transparent earpiece that practically disappears when you put it in.
Vaughn slips it into his ear and turns so Syd can see if she can tell he's wearing it.
SYDNEY
Wow, Marshall wasn't kidding. I can barely see it.
VAUGHN
Miracle Ear for spies.
He says the quip with only a fraction of his usual enthusiasm.
SYDNEY
I keep telling you. Just relax. You'll do fine. And if anything goes wrong we're just around the block.
He looks down and plays with the ring and then adjusts the glasses. He looks at her.
VAUGHN
Thanks.
Syd smiles.
SYDNEY
How many times were you there for me when I needed you?
VAUGHN
Still, I appreciate it.
He absently reaches up and rubs his neck. He's tense. Syd sighs.
SYDNEY
Come here.
She kneels on the bed and motions for him to sit on the edge in front of her.
SYDNEY
We've got a few minutes so let me give you a massage to loosen you up.
VAUGHN
That's okay. I'll be fine.
SYDNEY
Vaughn, look at you. You're a wreck. You can't go in there like this. They'll make you before you've got both feet in the door.
He relents and sits down. She starts working the knots out of his neck and shoulders.
SYDNEY
Now just focus on breathing in and out. In and out. In and out.
She continues to repeat that phrase and his chest begins to rise and fall to the rhythm of her words. It's obviously working cause his eyes drift close and his head starts to drop.
VAUGHN
Mmmm, that feels great.
His voice is low and comes out in almost a groan. Syd looks down at him. She's suddenly aware of how close she is too him. Now she's nervous.
SYDNEY
No talking. Just breathe.
He starts to roll his head around as she works the kinks out.
VAUGHN
Mmmm, Syd, right there.
She swallows hard.
SYDNEY
What did I say about talking?
He starts to lean his head and back toward her to increase the pressure.
VAUGHN
Sorry. It's just I forgot how good you were with your hands, how strong they were.
He's really close now and while he was speaking his head drifted back and when she looks down their faces are inches from each other. She licks her lips and he slowly opens his heavy eyelids as he smiles. Suddenly she stops and gets off the bed. He turns toward her in confusion, now completely awake. Her arms are crossed defensively. Her tone is forced.
SYDNEY
Well, I think that should be good.
She's obviously bothered by what's just happened. He instantly feels bad.
VAUGHN
Syd, I'm so sorry. I...
SYDNEY
No, it's okay. I shouldn't have suggested it.
He just looks at her intently.
VAUGHN
Then why did you?
SYDNEY
I just thought it would help you relax and take your mind off the mission.
He smiles ruefully.
VAUGHN
Well, it worked.
She smiles slightly.
SYDNEY
Maybe a little too well.
He nods. There's a knock on the door. From the other side we hear Weiss.
WEISS
Are you two done in there? It's time to go.
Vaughn looks at Syd nervously before he takes off for the bathroom. He closes the door behind him just as Syd opens it for Weiss and her dad. Weiss dressed in the same uniform that she is but Jack is dressed in a black turtleneck, slacks, and a long coat like he was in ATY. They both come in and look toward the bathroom where they can hear Vaughn throwing up. Weiss nods.
WEISS
Well, that's a good sign.
Jack just looks at him.
WEISS
Old hockey tradition.
Jack nods.
JACK
Yes, well he better eat something before he leaves. He's going to be expected to drink and we wouldn't want him to be inebriated after his first sip.
SYDNEY
I'll tell him. Just give us one more minute. I'll meet you out back at the van.
At this point Vaughn walks out of the bathroom drying off his face with a towel. They all look at him with concern. He waves them off.
VAUGHN
I'm okay. Honestly. I needed to do that.
Jack just considers him for a moment. Weiss pipes in:
WEISS
We're going to the van to get into position.
VAUGHN
I'll head out in about 20 minutes then.
Jack and Weiss leave. They face each other. Vaughn does look a little better.
SYDNEY
My dad said you should eat some pastries. We don't want Madame Gagne to get you drunk and take advantage of you too easily.
Vaughn smiles.
VAUGHN
Is that last part his or yours?
Syd returns his smile coyly.
SYDNEY
What do you think?
She steps back and looks him over. He humors her and even does a complete turn so she can see the back. She laughs lightly. Then she unbuttons one of the buttons on the top of his shirt to expose more of his chest. After that smoothes some wrinkles from the shoulders of his shirt, running her hands along them and down his arms where she adjusts the cuffs. He just watches her intently. While she's doing this she says:
SYDNEY
Remember, the keys are confidence and relaxation.
Satisfied she steps back and looks at him one more time.
SYDNEY
And I'm right here if you need me.
He smiles softly.
VAUGHN
I know. My guardian angel.
She smiles and then quickly leans forward and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
SYDNEY
Good luck and be careful.
VAUGHN
You too.
She smiles shyly, looks down, and tucks her hair behind her ear before she picks her cap off the bed and leaves.
CUT TO:
