*Chapter Four*

Eomer

He is trembling in my arms but I am not prepared to let go. He must see how things are now. He is not stupid, he never was. His body stiffens, then relaxes into me. Two frail arms encircle me and I can barely feel them. His head rests against mine, his cheek is wet. If I turn I can kiss him, show him properly how I feel.

And now there are voices from the stairwell. I curse and Grima stares at me in surprise.

"My lords, the party from Gondor are on their way! They are near the gates."

I stride into my room and open my door.

"Make sure the gates are open. Arrange for food and drink to be brought to the Hall, I will down to greet them."

Going back to Grima, I find him cleaning his face, his breath still hitching.

"The visitors are here. You must make yourself ready and go down to the Great Hall. I will bring them in. Ensure that there is enough food and drink."

"Why have they come at night?"

"Grima, I do not know. Please, help me here."

I went and stood outside the Great Hall, hoping that Grima's lists and provisions were correct, that our visitors, nay friends, could be well looked after.

They entered the main gate and a burst of light shone out - Grima had placed more logs of the fire and was frantically placing cups about the table. Why was no one helping him? I hid my fury as my guests dismounted and climbed the stone steps.

Gandalf the White, Aragorn-King of Gondor, Arwen Evenstar, quite possibly the fairest elf that ever lived, Eowyn and Faramir the most beloved to me, saving one other. The dwarf and Elf - the dwarves name was Gimli - what was the Elf called?



I stood racking my brains seeking his name as Gandalf approached and I gave him a hearty embrace. There was much laughter at our meeting; it had been a time since we had been together; Eowyn and Faramir's wedding in fact, it had too long.

"Do we have to give up our weapons this time? I do not think Legolas can be parted from his bow!"

Legolas! Thank you Gimli!

"Of course not, I am sure he will glad to receive lessons from us," I remark and get a round of laughter and a non-too subtle dig in the ribs from my beloved sister. We enter the Hall but Gandalf has already made his way in and is stood over Grima, it seems. He passes his hand over Grima's eyes and Grima is terrified.

Grima

I make my way down to the Hall. This meeting has only been partially planned; they have arrived much earlier than expected. No one can be bothered to move they merely stare with complete indifference. I hope Eomer can give them a few more minutes before they enter.

One has as I bend over the table, setting things out.

"Grima, son of Galmond. You have returned to your former self, it seems."

The white wizard is in front of me. Sheer terror overtakes me and he steps back and raises his hand. He will grip my head, force me down, I was never in Rohan, I am back in Isenguard and he can force me to him in my mouth until I choke...

"No," I manage and my head is full of screams but my speech is a whisper.

"You do not see clearly, it seems," he replies and it is Gandalf, and I am in Rohan. He passes his hands over my vision and everything flows, swims before me.

Eomer is walking towards me with someone else, I cannot make out whom, and Gandalf is guiding me to a seat.

"Let him rest, he has been through too much it seems. He is very weak."

A drink is pressed into my hand and someone helps me drink it. I wish for sleep, just sleep but my vision is clearing now. Was that tapestry across from me so blue before? Why can't I breathe? It is Eomer and Aragorn who are beside me and they each take an arm, ready to guide me upstairs. There are two ladies across from me and their looks could not be more different. One is an Elf, whose eyes are full of compassion and concern. The other is Eowyn, whose very glance wishes me dead.

Eomer.

We carry him between us up the stairs to his chamber. His breath comes in short gasps as we lie him down and he cannot seem to calm down.

"There are medicines in my pack which I can bring. They may help him to sleep."

With that Aragorn disappears and I try to calm him, to get him breathe slower. Both eyes are blue now but they seem full of fear - his look all the time he has been here.

"You planned things well whilst I was away, Grima," I manage, "Now you should rest, re-gather your strength."

I had seen his condition and yet I had set him jobs. What was I thinking? He needed time...But then, what had Gandalf done to him?

"I thought he'd come back, I would be hurt."

"They are all back, Grima. You are safe here."

"I thought I was back in Isenguard. I thought he would make me do that again. I cannot do that. Please my lord..."

His voice rises in panic and his hands clutch at my robe. I am confused as to what he means and his begging breaks me. I hold him to me repeating my words to reassure him and Aragorn returns. He makes up a draught that we get Grima to drink and Aragorn goes back to see to the others. I envy him his calm; nothing seems to disrupt him and I wonder if I could ever rule with the same serenity. The draught seems to be working as Grima slums against but one phrase follows him to his sleep that chills me.

"All the pain came back."

I give him a few more minutes but he doesn't stir and wearily I make my way downstairs. They are deep in conversation by the fire, save for Eowyn who glares at me. Aragorn notices the look and glances at me. You'll have trouble there, he tells me and I concur. It has been a long week.

We go to our chambers and I visit Grima who is in the same position as I left him. The sleeping draught has worked well it seems.

"He suffered many tortures and abuses at Isenguard," was all Gandalf would tell us. Was that a sign of satisfaction I saw on my sister's face? It looked so ugly.

"He done more to rid MiddleEarth of evil than you know," he continued, looking directly at me.

When Grima is better, I must discuss this with him. Or would it be better to let him forget? Would I be doing more harm re-living the past? Or should he tell and air out all that has happened, to rid him of those memories that poison his mind? I am at a loss and Gandalf takes me to one side.

"His body is improving slowly but it has many months since he had decent lodgings and at his age it will take longer to recover. His mind is troubled too much by the past and he needs rest and company to get through this."

"What did you do?"

"A healing spell, a powerful one. He is exhausted though but he will take rest now that his many hurts are gone."

"Could you rid him of those memories, cause him to forget?"

Gandalf held up a hand.

"I cannot and should not do that Eomer. He needs to know what he has experienced and survived. He cannot live half a life, no- none can."

His stare was intense. I knew a statement when it applied to me as well.

"He will come through this period the stronger for it, providing he can rest now, with kinder company than he has known."

"What happened to him at Isenguard, Gandalf?"

"He was used and cast aside as well you know. Surely his scars are clear to you Eomer?"

A long pause.

"Saruman's corruption by power was worse than I knew."

Grima's sleep was deep and dreamless as far as I could tell for I watched awhile as he slept. My mind stirred with my thoughts about him, the plans for Rohan and Gondor, how things would be between my sister and me. Her coldness, nay hatred for Grima was there still vibrant and strong. She would see my taking him in as a betrayal after what Saruman had done through him to my uncle.

He had been besotted with her as I was with him, and the memory of that caused no little pain. I had accepted that as I had tried to squash my feelings and concentrate of my work, my duties, trying the pleasures of the flesh with many a willing maiden in my youth. Then the War had overtaken all else, watching my sister hurt in more ways than one, my country men killed, my uncle...

I leaned against the cool stone and pressed my forehead to it. So much loss. So much loneliness. So much to make and re-build. Again I cursed Saruman and Sauron.

I wandered back to my room, leaving the door ajar; I doubted whether I would sleep much that night. Grima would have no doubt made a list; numbered the tasks to be done in a methodical way...

Drifting now, in spite of everything, my mind wandered back to the camp and my explorations by the fire. He needed to put on weight, yet he seemed exotic to my touch, not the typical brawny build of Rohan, but the spare, bird-like frame, those blue eyes staring at the stars as he held his breath. My palm had moved gently over his hardness and his breath had been released in a long, shuddering sigh. Then he had moved, going to the fire, biting his lip and looking upset. He had told me to go back to sleep and ...

Had he thought me asleep? Was that it? And I would have to wait awhile before asking him; it would not do to rouse him, upset him in this state. He had looked guilty...He wasn't guilty...

A soft voice woke me from his room. Arwen had brought him some food and drink and was talking softly to him as he tried to apologise for the previous night.

"I was just thanking Grima for his arrangements," she stated as she turned to smile back at him. His breath grew laboured as he tried to sit up and I helped him.

"You should have something to eat, you did not have much yesterday. You need to rest." I sat down at one side of him as he drank and Arwen rose.

"I will come back and see you later Grima, I am sure the King would not mind that." She touched his hand briefly before she departed and he looked up at her with such a besotted expression that I felt envious. Would that he would look at me... I exhaled slowly and he paused in his drinking.

"What ails you, my lord?"

How could I explain? I smiled at him. "Nothing for you to worry about. Gandalf's spell should have helped the aches and pains you had, but he says you need a lot of rest."

"The plans, you wanted me to..."

"We will carry on with them. We discussed most of your plans last night and Rohan and Gondor will carry them out. You are to get well."

Before I knew it, I was caressing his face. "Do not worry."

Arwen's drink had helped him sleep and others who I appointed to nurse him reported back to me. I would be busy organising and going around Rohan. I could only trust to them now.

To my great surprise, Eowyn took up a tray of food to him in the evening and was gone a while. She returned smiling slightly, the first time since she had seen Grima. She had seen the change in him and I could relax.