Kurt

Kurt's Journal:

Rogue's not the person I thought she was.

She's more like Mystique than I ever could be. And I look like her. Well I look like she did.

But Rogue's like her in spirit.

And to think I once thought of killing Toad when he once said the very same thing. Who knew the slimy worm was so perceptive?

Well he got my so-called sister right on the nose. Note to self, next time he has thoughts about a person, pay attention. He's got an uncanny knack of seeing things as they are.

Unlike me. I've always tried to see the good in people, with one or two exceptions. I thought if I tried hard enough sooner or later I'd break through Rogue's shell and we'd be a real family. I knew she was afraid of hurting people so that was why I ignored her insults and her attempts to shut me out. I just pressed on and kept trying so I could break through and find the real person inside that tough Goth exterior.

You know what I found? An even tougher, nastier person on the inside. Maybe part of it is my fault. She kept telling me we weren't really a family. Maybe I should have listened. At least she didn't lie to me. I think. I don't know anymore.

I don't know anything anymore. I could never dream that the Professor would be so heartless as to give Mystique away without even consulting me first. I never dreamed that some of my own teammates would be celebrating another teammate killing someone. I don't know if the dream of humans and mutants getting along will ever come true when the world is turning against us.

And I never knew Rogue. I knew she was in pain and troubled, but I tried to save her. I don't know if she can be saved from her pain.

I don't even know if I want to save her anymore.

I was raised to forgive people. Taught to turn the other cheek. But I don't know if I can ever forgive her for what she's done.

Or what she's become.