Yeah I know Kitty got the flu first in 'Sins of the Son' but I thought it would be more fun if Kurt infected her first. And now on with the madness and angst!

Fatherhood is Never Easy

"Wow that was a long one," Lance sighed as the Misfits teleported to the Xavier mansion later that evening, still wearing their uniforms.

"Yeah destroying Cobra bases is fun but exhausting work," Shipwreck agreed as he walked with them.

"I'm almost too tired to go bug the X-Geeks," Pietro yawned. "Almost!"

"KURT YOU ARE SO DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" Kitty could be heard screaming.

"Kitty! Stop! How was I supposed to know what happened? I thought it was all a dream!" Kurt screamed as he ran by. "I said I was sorry!"

"SORRY MY BUTT! STAND STILL AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!" Kitty screamed as she ran by swinging a baseball bat. Her pajamas were torn and muddy and there were branches in her wet hair. She swung the bat and Kurt teleported away just in time. "COME BACK HERE!"

"Okay what happened to Kitty and why is she chasing Kurt with a baseball bat?" Pietro asked.

"Let's just say the Half Pint had a bad day," Logan groaned. "Along with a lot of us."

"Ooh this ought to be good!" Pietro cackled as he ran off.

"Got his second wind I see," Althea remarked. "So what did happen?"

"Well you know how both Kurt and Kitty have the flu?" Logan asked. "It seems the Elf was doing a little sleep teleporting and Kitty accidentally came along for the ride."

"So where did they go?" Shipwreck asked.

Hank walked in sighing. "Well as far as I can figure out between Kitty's screaming and the phone calls from people complaining they ended up at Bayville High in the middle of a class."

"Ouch…" Lance winced.

"Downtown at rush hour," Hank continued. "A funeral, the park, the bank and quite a few back yards. Including one where there was a child's birthday party."

"Oh man…" Todd groaned. "Here come the lawsuits!"

"Actually the one with the birthday party the children quite enjoyed it," Hank said. "However the clown that was entertaining ended up with an anxiety attack and ended up at the hospital."

"Man leave this place for one day and stuff happens!" Todd laughed.

"Yeah well compared to what happened with the Professor," Scott sighed as he, Jean and Ororo walked in.

"What happened?" Fred asked.

"Why don't all of you talk about it in the kitchen?" Ororo sighed. "We'd like to talk to Shipwreck alone."

"Why don't you just tell us all now?" Todd asked.

"Come on," Scott sighed as he escorted them to the kitchen. "We just need to get something to eat first."

"Yeah nothing like being locked in a dungeon to increase your appetite," Jean sighed.

"Say what?" Todd asked before they turned the corner.

Shipwreck looked at the other adults. "Okay what the hell happened to you guys today?"

"It all started last night," Ororo explained. "When the Professor got a call from his son."

"His what?" Shipwreck blinked.

"It's a long story," Ororo told him the whole story of what happened in Scotland.

"And he has the gall to call me a bad father!" Shipwreck harrumphed.

"He didn't know he had a son!" Ororo told him.

"The kid's a mutant like him," Shipwreck looked at her. "How could he not know?"

"The Professor doesn't go looking for specific mutants unless he's looking for someone," Ororo said. "Even if he did do you have any idea how many thousands of mutants there are right now? Besides his ex-wife deliberately kept the knowledge he had a son from him."

"Oh I get it now," Shipwreck said. "And I thought Mara was a bitter little shrew."

"I must admit that was my first reaction as well," Xavier sighed as he wheeled up to them. "I'm sorry to burden you with all this but as much as I hate to admit it, I could use your advice right now."

"You don't have anything to explain," Shipwreck said. "I could write a book on ex-wives! Okay here's how you get her back, the first thing you do is get a good lawyer. Then you get some toilet paper, a few photographs, her home phone number, the directory for the entire state of Wisconsin…"

"Not with dealing with my ex-wife you maniac!" Xavier snapped. "I need advice about my son!"

"You do?" Shipwreck blinked. "Why me?"

"Because out of all of us you are the only one who is actually experienced at being a parent," Hank said. "As frightening as that is you are the expert here."

"You did give me some good advice about Evan a while back," Ororo admitted.

"All right I guess I could give it a go," Shipwreck shrugged. "But first we need to get your credit card."

"Why my credit card?" Xavier asked.

"Well we need cash if we're going to a bar, aren't we?" Shipwreck asked. "Think of it as a neutral setting to discuss child rearing techniques!"

"Shipwreck I do not need you to get drunk!" Xavier protested as he pushed his chair. "Look we'll go to the bar but we are not, repeat, not going to drink! Got it?"

Three hours later….

"How the hell do you talk me into these things?" Xavier muttered as he sat at the booth. He was staring at his fifth drink and he was slightly tipsy. "I'm the one with the telepathic powers. I'm the one who can make people do things if they want to. And yet it's you who are always the one who gets me drunk! How is that possible? How do you do that?"

"It's a gift!" Shipwreck said proudly as he finished his twelfth beer. "I think everyone has some special talent. Some special gift. Mine is the ability to get anyone drunk at any time at any place…at anywhere!"

"Yeah well at least you know how to use it," Xavier said bitterly. "Which is more than what I seem to be doing lately!"

"Aw don't be too hard on yourself," Shipwreck said as he started his next beer.

"It's true!" Xavier said. "Just take a look at my track record lately! My students are outcasts. Despite all my efforts mutants are hated more than ever. Rogue and Kurt won't even speak to each other. And god knows Kitty's a mess!"

"Well that you couldn't do anything about," Shipwreck interrupted him.

"And worse of all is I couldn't even save my own son," Xavier groaned. "I may have made things even worse!"

"Yeah well maybe if that bitch of an ex-wife had told you that you had a kid in the first place none of this would have happened!" Shipwreck snapped.

"You have a point there…" Xavier said fuzzily.

"You're damn right I have a point! You…Wait…You had this kid after you were paralyzed right?" Shipwreck looked at Xavier.

"Apparently yes," Xavier said dryly.

"You mean you're not…" Shipwreck indicated. "You know? Dead from the waist down?"

"Do you always have to be so crass?" Xavier snapped.

"I'm just asking," Shipwreck huffed.

"Well not that it's any of your business, which it isn't!" Xavier snapped. "I can function without my legs thank you very much!"

"Wouldn't know it the way you close yourself off to the world," Shipwreck said.

"Can we talk about something else please?" Xavier asked angrily. "What were we talking about anyway?"

"Your ex-wife and how she snowed you," Shipwreck reminded him.

"Oh yeah. I can't believe she was so bitter towards me that she actually believed that David would be better off without a father than me as one!" Xavier groaned. "Of course needless to say our divorce was far from amicable."

"Yeah what was the reason? Something about you spending too much time at work?" Shipwreck asked.

"Exactly," Xavier sighed. "My research into mutations was just beginning. There was so much to do and to put together. Gabrielle wanted me to spend more time fitting in with her circle of friends and 'being normal' than working on my research."

"I gotcha," Shipwreck nodded. "Couldn't take the stress huh? Ashamed of the work you did?"

"Well she wasn't exactly proud of it," Xavier sighed. "Now that I think about it she saw my own mutant abilities as even more of a handicap than my legs. My legs were an accident of war, but my mutation was something from birth. She thought I was too obsessed."

"Well maybe she wasn't that far off base either," Shipwreck downed his beer.

"Whose side are you on?" Xavier asked.

"Face facts, you both screwed up your marriage," Shipwreck said. "Maybe if I paid more time and attention to Mara she wouldn't have run off with some jerk."

"I can't believe I actually asked you to counsel me," Xavier groaned.

"Yeah well whatever the reason she still should have told you about the kid," Shipwreck said. "A boy needs his father. Even an absent one is better than none at all. Maybe the kid wouldn't have hated you so much and somehow ended up with a split personality if he knew you. Then again this is you we're talking about…"

"Ha, ha, ha…" Xavier said sarcastically. "Very funny. So what do I do now, oh wise one?"

"About what?" Shipwreck asked blearily.

"About my son you nitwit!" Xavier snapped.

"Oh that…" Shipwreck took another sip of beer. "Well it's not like you don't have some experience being a dad. What with watching the kids and all."

"I just feel like a failure," Xavier sighed. "And the looks Scott and Jean gave me…"

"So they found out that you're human and you ain't perfect! Big deal. They were gonna learn that anyway," Shipwreck waved. "The point is you can't give up hope on your kid. Or the others."

"Perhaps you're right," Xavier sighed. "Maybe I have been a little too…absorbed in things. But with everything going on…Shipwreck? Shipwreck? Are you listening to me? WAKE UP YOU DRUNK!"

Shipwreck then fell face flat on the table, snoring peacefully. "Oh god I'm worse off than I thought!" Xavier groaned.