Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story idea.
A/N: I know some of you might be expecting the fairy tale to trot along toward happily-ever-after, but real life almost never works out perfectly. I'm going to try to wrap this up by Chapter 50, though, and I can almost definitely guarantee an ending that Java Junkies will like.
As always, a big thank you goes to Jade-Tessier for doing such a wonderful job editing and reassuring me that you guys will like what I've written down. If you don't like it, she tells me that she'll beat on you until you do like it. So I guess everyone wins here, huh? ;-) Please review.
~~
Lorelai blinked a few times and felt the world around her turning dark and fuzzy. Luke was in front of her, down on one knee, holding a ring out to her. It wasn't fancy or intricate like Max's. It was simple and classic like Luke, himself. How he was able to afford what looked to be at least a one-carat diamond in a traditional platinum Tiffany setting she had no idea. All she knew was that her breathing wouldn't slow down and her hands had begun to shake. Before her, Luke was starting to look nervous. Behind him, the people who had been in the diner when he'd dropped to one knee and said, "How 'bout it?" were beginning to whisper among themselves. Lorelai had no idea how long she'd stood there, frozen to the spot before she began to sputter incredulously, "What are you….Why….When did….I have to go!"
And with that, Lorelai made for the door as if she were being chased by a pack of wild dogs. Luke watched her go, still on one knee, feeling the heat of embarrassment flood his face. She had rejected him. He had always suspected that he wanted her more than she wanted him and now his worst nightmare was being realized. When it really mattered, she didn't want him at all.
As he rose shakily to his feet and stared dumbfounded at the glass door and her swiftly retreating figure, he heard the rustle of people behind him. Without turning he growled, "Everybody out! We're closed!" Then, unable to meet anyone's eyes, he stormed upstairs and slammed the door to his apartment.
About thirty minutes later, Rob knocked on the door to say that everyone was gone and that they were all locked up for the day. If that had been his only communication with the outside world, it would have been fine with him, but no. His phone hadn't stopped ringing since he'd arrived upstairs. After hanging up on Miss Patty, he turned his ringer off and put the volume on his answering machine on mute.
He stared at the four dim walls of his old apartment and helplessly set the velvet box on his kitchen table. Good thing he hadn't rented the space out to anyone. Good thing he hadn't turned it back into an office. Good thing he'd maintained his perspective on things. He laughed gruffly and caught his breath at the ache in his chest. He never would have thought that a broken heart really hurt this much.
~~
Lorelai practically ran to her house and slammed the door behind her, locking it. Her breathing had not slowed down and she was almost hysterical. Rory. She had to talk to Rory.
As she picked up the handset and hit the speed dial she frantically tried to brush away the tears that were starting to fall. Cursing when she got Rory's voice mail, she threw the phone onto the couch and stormed past Lulu upstairs to her bed. No sooner had she buried herself under the covers than the phone rang and she picked up the one on her nightstand and, thinking Rory must have seen a missed call on her cell, answered, "Thank God, I'm having the biggest crisis of my life here!"
"Lorelai, what on earth is the matter with you?" was Emily's prim, but concerned, reply.
Lorelai scrunched her face up and tried to make her voice as normal as possible, "My, uh…my…dry cleaning," she lied, hoping her voice didn't belie her current anguish. "It…it's gone."
"Your dry cleaning? Well, call the company," answered Emily in that no-nonsense way of hers. "Places like this cannot simply steal your clothes and get away with it. You know, Lorelai, you must take a firm hand with all employees, including dry cleaners. They have to know that when they deal with you, you mean business."
Lorelai sniffled into her sheets and said, "Okay. You're right. I know."
"Wait just a moment, young lady," cried Emily with suspicion. "Did you just say that I was right?"
Lorelai stared at the ceiling and tried to think of the right answer. "No?" she tried, wondering what would be the quickest way off the phone.
"You most certainly did. Now, do you want to tell me what is going on?" At Lorelai's silence Emily said, "I am a very patient woman, Lorelai, and I know where you live. You can either tell me now or wait for me to arrive."
"Luke proposed," Lorelai blurted out with a sob. "He proposed and I…I said no…or, I didn't say anything, I just left. I think I've made a terrible mistake, but I just couldn't say yes," she finished with the release of a fresh set of tears. "What am I going to do?"
Lorelai rolled over and was immediately greeted by Luke's nightstand. The one where he'd thrown his keys the night before. On the floor was a pile of laundry, on top a plaid shirt. In the corner were his sneakers. On a chair, a baseball bat.
"What happened? Things were going so well, weren't they? Did he do something? Did he say something? Lorelai, talk to me," demanded Emily.
"No, he's been great," Lorelai explained haltingly. "I just…couldn't say yes."
"But, why?" Emily pressed.
"I don't know," Lorelai answered lamely. "We've only been together for a few months. And, he's not sure he ever wants to have kids and I'm not sure I want to be done having kids."
"And for that you said no? Lorelai, the length of time you spend together prior to an engagement is completely subjective. Your father and I knew each other less than a year. Still, we knew it was what we wanted. And as far as children go, that's something that can be worked out. It's not something to ruin a relationship over."
"Thanks, Mom," Lorelai whimpered. "I feel much better now."
"Oh, Lorelai," sighed Emily. "I'm truly sorry about all this. Only you can know when it feels right. If you said no, then you must have meant no. What were you thinking at the time?"
"I was thinking that I wish he'd get off the floor and just talk to me. I was thinking that I didn't need a big production. I was thinking that I don't want Kirk for a ring-bearer. I was thinking that, for that matter, I don't want a husband just yet. Oh, God, have I led him on? Have I made him think I want all those things only to pull the rug out from under him? Am I an awful person? How can I ever face him again? What am I going to do? Why did he have to propose?" she finished, wailing her last question.
"You have to ask him those things," responded Emily, dryly. "Look, if it helps, your father and I both thought you'd say yes. You've been so happy the last few months and you clearly adore each other."
Lorelai's eyes snapped open and she said sharply, "What do you mean you both thought I'd say yes. Did you know this was coming? Did you know he was going to do this?"
"Well," Emily hedged, wishing she'd kept her mouth shut. "Luke might have mentioned it to your father."
"Might have mentioned it? Might have mentioned it?!" she shrieked. "And you didn't tell me?"
"Well, that would have ruined the surprise, now, wouldn't it?" reasoned Emily sensibly.
"Are you kidding me? I feel like such an idiot. Everybody knew except stupid Lorelai. Did Rory know?"
"Not that I know of. Not unless Luke told her," Emily said quietly.
"Bastard!" she spat. "I can't believe he went behind my back like this!"
"Asking for your hand in marriage is hardly going behind your back," admonished Emily.
"He actually asked you for my hand?" cried Lorelai, incredulous.
"Lorelai there is no need to be dramatic. He wasn't asking. Your father pulled him aside at Thanksgiving and asked him what his intentions were," Emily confessed. "Luke was very candid. Your father respected that and gave him his blessing."
"Wonderful! I'm so sorry to have thrown a wrench into all your plans."
"Lorelai, stop it," ordered Emily. "You are angry with Luke and taking it out on me. Don't shoot the messenger. Now, did you just a moment ago tell me that you didn't even say anything at all? You just left him?"
Lorelai sniffled again and thought about the scene at the diner. "Yeah. I just left without saying anything. God, he must hate me," she cried softly.
"Don't be silly. Luke worships you. Just explain the situation."
"Situation?" scoffed Lorelai. "You mean explain to him that I'm not sure why I don't want to marry him? Yeah, I think that'll go over well."
"Your sarcasm is unnecessary, Lorelai. What I'm saying is that by not giving him an answer you can still make things right. First, though, you have to figure out what you want."
"What I want," repeated Lorelai.
"Do you know?" asked Emily gently.
Lorelai quietly thought about this. Did she know what she wanted? Up until the moment when he'd dropped to one knee she'd been ready to spit nails she'd been so jealous of Lux or Lax for whatever the hell her name was. Then, with one movement and a question she'd become paralyzed with fear.
~~
Luke sagged into his couch, took another sip of beer, and stared at the ceiling. This was why he'd been an uber-monk for all those years. It wasn't worth it to invest in a relationship. All that happened was that you ended up getting kicked in the head. He sighed and finished the bottle in two gulps. The alcohol helped deaden the pain, but it also made him dwell on the past three months.
Three months. He couldn't believe it had been three months. He had spent maybe three nights in this apartment in the last three months and he'd never been happier. He got up to get another beer from the fridge and noticed that it was his last one. He'd have to get more soon. As he twisted off the cap he glanced outside and noticed that it had gotten dark.
He heard his answering machine click again and wished people would stop calling and leaving messages. He wanted to wallow in peace and quiet. He wanted, if he told the truth, to go to sleep. In sleep he could forget that he'd just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. He could forget that this morning he'd woken up in Lorelai's bed, kissed her goodbye, and gone to work without a care in the world. He could forget the look on her face when he'd asked her to marry him. The look of shock and fear and misery all combined into one horrified expression. Horrified. That was a good word for what she'd been. Horrified at the thought of marrying him.
He finished the last beer and left the empty on the counter along with the others. He was sober enough to know that he couldn't drive anywhere, but he was definitely too drunk to walk anywhere, either. What he needed was someone to get him some beer…and maybe some scotch. Richard had been so keen on this idea, Luke thought he could drown his sorrows in his ex-almost-future-father-in-law's drink of choice. Who, though? Who could he get to drive him to the liquor store? One name came to him. Luke hoped he'd be home.
~~
Lorelai staggered through the darkened streets to the diner and banged on the door. She could see that it was closed but that had never stopped her before. She banged harder and louder until it became obvious that Luke was either ignoring her or he wasn't there. As she crept away in the dark she was almost grateful that she'd missed him. She still had no idea what she'd say; she just wanted to make sure he was okay. He wasn't home, though.
As she trudged home her cell phone chirped. Her shoulders sagged when she saw Sookie's number.
"Hey," she answered. "You heard?"
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," replied Sookie. "Are you okay?"
"No," said Lorelai shortly. "I'm not okay. I just broke the heart of the man I love and I have no idea why. What is the matter with me, Sook?"
"Nothing, honey, you're fine, honestly," soothed Sookie.
Lorelai snorted. "I think if that were the case I'd have an engagement ring on my finger right now."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"You mean you haven't already heard about it in detail?"
"Well, yeah," Sookie admitted, "but I thought you might want to talk about it."
"Okay," Lorelai sighed. "I go into the diner after dropping Rory off at school. I see this walking Barbie doll with her hand on his arm at the counter. He introduces us and it turns out they grew up together. She lives in New York and is actually pretty nice. At the time though I was ready to rip her head off and force-feed it to him, though."
"A little jealous?" interrupted Sookie.
"You might say that," allowed Lorelai. "So, after she left, I was giving Luke a hard time about it and all of a sudden he pulls out this ring and is actually asking me to marry him in front of the entire diner."
"That doesn't sound like Luke," observed Sookie. "He's such a private guy. To do something like that in front of half the town just…."
"I know!" Lorelai interrupted. "That's what I thought. So immediately I'm taken aback. And the next thing I notice is Kirk standing next to Miss Patty posing as a ring-bearer. I look back and now Luke is on his knees in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I love a good scene as much as the next girl, but it was too much! Especially since I still feel like we need to talk about the kid issue. He seems pretty dead set on not having any and I just don't want to give up on it yet, you know?"
"I know, honey. So that's when you left?"
"Yeah. That's when I left. I couldn't take all those eyes staring at me. I couldn't say what he wanted to hear in front of all those people and on top of that, I'm still not convinced it's the right thing to do."
"You need to talk to him."
"I know. I was just at the diner, but he's not there."
"I know, he's here," said Sookie helpfully.
"What?! Has he been listening to your half of this conversation? Tell me he hasn't! Tell me!" Lorelai demanded.
"Of course not!" cried Sookie, indignant. "He called Jackson about an hour ago asking for a ride to the liquor store. I told Jackson to pick him up and bring him here. I thought it would be good to get him out of his place and away from phone – you know Miss Patty's probably called at least a dozen times."
"I'm on my way over."
"He's had quite a few drinks," cautioned Sookie. "Maybe you should wait until morning. Or late afternoon since he'll probably have a heck of a hangover."
"Now," said Lorelai, firmly. "I need to see him now."
