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What Is To Be

-Eighth-

By Annie

2003-09-15

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"The Twilight Gathering is THE event in upper-class demon world," Cordelia stated, fluttering about the vampire and Slayer like some overly hype butterfly.

Angel gave her a look to just take it down a few notches, but she didn't seem to notice.

"She's right," he then said to Buffy. "There'll be a lot of people there with links to someone or something who just might know something useful, IF the people in question don't know anything themselves. We'll need to be prepared for some rough hours of hardcore digging."

"And it's hosted?" Buffy asked and Cordelia made a small jump with excitement as she answered before Angel could even open his mouth:

"By Gary Forte! At his amazing flat! It's huge, seriously. I saw pictures of it in Vanity Fair and it was like... three stories, white and black marble, pleather furniture - 'cause that's supposed to be so in right now or something - and oriental rugs as far as your eyes can..."

"Cordelia, PLEASE," Angel stopped her and she swallowed the last words before she gave him an annoyed glare.

"Could you let me be happy for two seconds?" she muttered, her mood level sinking ten notches in one single moment.

"Hey," he said, making her meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, all right? Be happy, just... take it elsewhere."

She shrugged, her smile growing on again and she turned her head in search for a willing victim; finding it in Susannah, rushing over to her flailing the hand which was holding a blue and black invitation.

"You have a good hand with her," Buffy commended and Angel smirked at that, his eyes had followed the dark-haired as she left his side, but now he turned them back on the blonde still before him.

"I try," he then replied, continuing: "About this ball... I think it might be a good idea if we went."

"Duh!" she smiled, gesturing to Cordelia. "I think it's obvious now that she'll set this building on fire if you for some reason said we shouldn't."

"No, that's not what I mean," he said hesitantly. "I mean that you and I should go. Together. As a couple."

Cordelia, though six feet away, quieted down considerably at this revelation. Her head turning to Angel and her eyes looking rather shocked. Buffy had no way of not noticing this, though she didn't show it as her eyebrows rose with the very surprise she herself felt.

"What?" she then asked.

"Giles called me," Angel began to explain. "Seems he took that plea of yours this morning, for some of his expertise, very seriously and he managed to come up with - Gary Forte. Seems Mr. Forte is a Changer, he changes his appearance to suit his means."

"A demon?" Buffy asked and Angel nodded.

"He's built himself an empire to seduce the eye of the mortal world, but every coin has two sides and this one is pretty dark. He is obsessed with the future, anything and everything that has to do with what is to come... His hobby, of course, includes..."

"Prophecies," Buffy filled in.

"Yes. I think we might have to get ready to go further than simple asking around," Angel stated.

"You mean we might need to break and enter, say, his study?" she asked and he merely had an expression on his face saying how right she was. "How convenient then, that this party is held at his flat... But I still don't understand why you'd wanna go with me."

"It's hard to understand why anyone would like to escort you to a ball?" he wondered, a trace of tease in his voice and she smiled.

"You know what I mean," she answered.

"If we're going to get into that room without being detected we'll need to use every skill in the book," he said, voice sober. "Our senses will be our primary tool in order to get us passed eventual guards. There might even be traps, I have no idea and we don't have the time to figure it all out."

"Wait, when is it?" she cut in.

"Tomorrow night," he replied and her eyes grew.

"Are you crazy?" she asked and he shook his head.

"We can do it. We have to! We're running out of time, Buffy. We can't afford leaving any possible solution behind. I need you to do this with me, and if we arrive together it'll be less of a risk that anyone thinks any more of it if they see us walking down a hallway together," he now said.

She really wished she had some argument to come with that would change his mind. Especially since she looked to the side just in time to see Susannah disappear up the stairs, the Slayer having a gut feeling to who's room the brunette was headed. But Buffy knew that Angel was right, and so she grumbled slightly before she answered him:

"Of course I'll go with you."

He smiled his thanks, turning his head and seeing Cordelia walk out through the doors of the garden.

"Excuse me," he said and Buffy watched him go after her.

It was almost strange to think of them together, but on the other hand their care for one another seemed close to palpable and Buffy knew they had been through a lot. It was inevitable that feelings arose, impossible to ignore no matter how hard they might be to interpret in the beginning.

She turned her head and looked at the stairs. She wanted to go up there and stop whatever Susannah was saying to him. She knew that she had lost this round.

She didn't know why she was still uncertain what he felt for her - he had almost kissed her before. At least she thought he had. Perhaps again it had all been in her head... She had to struggle with her insecurity all the time as of late. It was as though the closer she felt she got to him, the more nervous she was that it was all just one wrong move away from falling apart.

And she couldn't let it, not again.

***

Spike turned his head when Susannah entered the room. He returned her smile and watched her pull up a chair to sit down next to the side of the bed. She reached out and took the same hand Buffy had held in hers just a few minutes earlier, in a gentle grip before she said.

"Hey."

"Hey," he replied. "You okay?" he then asked and she shook her head slowly.

"That's supposed to be my question, silly," she said and he smirked.

"What - this? It's just a scratch. Promise," he assured and she looked at him with a warmth in her gaze not difficult to read before she sighed.

"I thought you were done for. I was so angry with Angel," she said and Spike shook his head.

"Don't be mad at him, 's not his fault, love."

"I never thought he should train you, you know that. And now look where it brought you. God, I knew this was gonna happen," she grumbled and he squeezed her hand.

"Then be upset with ME," he said. "Or better yet - don't be. I just can't be anyone else than who I am, and I refuse to sit back and watch everyone else do all the sodding work. Especially after the sort of life - or un- life - I lead. I'm not someone passive, pet. I need to be able to join in."

"Even if it gets you killed?" she asked and he shook his head.

"It hasn't so far," he disagreed. "And look at it from my point of view for a second. If Angel HADN'T trained me, I'd be dead for sure."

She seemed to ease off at that, her face softening and then she smiled.

"Fine, I won't complain anymore," she said and he returned her smile. "Did you hear about the big 'happening' or whatever tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night?" he repeated. "Yeah, I think I saw this blur of a human come running in here to jump on the spot, mumbling and screeching about something like it," he then added and Susannah laughed.

"Well, yeah. It's a ball. You know, you in a suit - me in a gown..." she then mumbled tryingly, looking just slightly embarrassed and he didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to tell her that if he was going, there was only one woman he could even consider escorting.

"It sounds nice," he nodded. "It's just..."

"Angel asked Buffy," Susannah said as he trailed off in search for the right words and something dreadfully cold clasped his heart, growing colder still as Susannah added: "She accepted, naturally."

Susannah could see his expression change, his complexion as well; she could see how he looked like she had just stabbed him a fresh wound in his side and she felt so bad for him. But she also knew that she could make it better, if he would just give her one chance.

"I just thought that you might like to... go with me," she said, putting her other hand over his as well, having him look at her again.

"Get all posh for you?" he asked, a real smile showing on his lips and her mind jubilated at the sight of it.

Half the win was already hers, it seemed.

"Yeah, and have me get beautiful for you," she then said and he smiled ever warmer at that before he squeezed her hand again.

"You're always that to me," he stated and she looked at him for a moment, feeling her heart flutter with hope. "You have a good soul, it can't help but shine through," he added and the hope was slightly quenched at that rather friendly sentence.

"Neither can yours," she said and he smiled again.

"Thank you," he replied, voice soft and she wondered for the billionth time what kind of an idiot this Buffy was who hadn't loved him from the second she laid eyes on him.

He would have been different back then, certainly, but could he really have been THAT different?

"So..." Susannah said, getting to her feet. "It's a date, then?" she added and he looked up at her before he nodded once more.

"That it is," he agreed and she left the room with a blossom of satisfaction in her chest.

Perhaps all was not lost quite yet after all.

***

It was dark where she was. It was pitch black and when she suddenly stumbled she drew a sharp breath in fear of falling without ever stopping, afraid of being swallowed by the night. She was lost, though she knew she had headed out in search of something. If she could only find it...

She stopped and listened as she thought she had heard a noise behind her.

There was only silence.

What was this place?

It smelled of earth and rock and age.

She carefully reached out a hand and soon it touched the rough surface of a stone wall.

A cavern.

Yes, she could smell water.

She had the most overwhelming notion that she had been there before...

Not much further. No, not much further now.

She steadied herself and began to move forward again, listening to the rhythmic thumping of her pulse in her ears and the slight scratch of her feet as she placed them tentatively on the ground with each new step.

The suddenness of light stinging her eyes made her freeze and raise one hand to shield her face from the unfamiliarity of it as her sight quickly adjusted. She squinted, lowering her arm again as she stared at the well in the cavern floor before her. The water in it glittered invitingly and she realized how incredibly thirsty she was.

She must have been walking for hours.

The light came from below the still surface and as she approached it a ray shot up and gently graced the ceiling. She furrowed her brow as she tilted her head back and looked at the spot on which it now rested. There was an "A" carved into the stone and around it glowed a white ring. It was as though the light imbedded itself into the carving of the latter, circling within its dents and crannies and making it shimmer.

She sunk to her knees, her eyes once more going to the water and her throat drying up even further at the thought of letting the liquid slide over her tongue. She had a moment of hesitation, feeling like she shouldn't give in to the need, but failing to stop herself. Bending forward she plunged her hands deep beneath the surface, letting the coolness of the water envelope her fingers before she cupped her palms and brought both of them as a bowl to her lips.

She drank greedily but deeply, her eyes closed and her mind filling with growing dizziness.

She didn't know where the sudden urge came from, but it overpowered her completely and before she had a chance to truly react she had thrown the last of the liquid away from her with a yell of disgust and as she opened her eyes they grew wide with that very emotion.

The well was glimmering red as the blood it now contained rippled from her movement. The coppery taste stuck to every single cell of her mouth and she stared in abhorrer as she scrambled backwards.

The light had been extinguished, but an eerie residue seemed to linger against the walls and she could still see her surroundings as she got to her feet.

She blinked and then raised her gaze to the ceiling again.

The "A" was smudged in a very strange way and the ring had turned black.

Suddenly the surface of the blood gave way for something. The darkened shape of something now bopped calmly on it and she eyed it in suspicion before it hit her. She recognized it and it wasn't a something at all - it was a someone.

She was by the edge in the next instant, reaching out her arms and grabbing the shoulder which was all that was really showing. Pulling the body forcefully to her and dragging it up, the legs still in the thick liquid as she rolled it over and stared down at the pale face of someone gone forever.

But he was there...

Oh, God, let him be okay. Let him live.

She was trembling as she bent over him and let her hands gently stroke his cheeks, his brow, his hair.

Open your eyes. Look at me. Spike...

He coughed and stirred slightly before he did as she pleaded and eased his eyes open. They looked at her in wonderment, disoriented for a second before he smiled and reached up one hand to slide it over her cheek.

"Buffy," he whispered and she returned the smile as the tears that had been building ran over.

"Spike," she said. "I have to tell you..."

But he shook his head, cutting her short before he caught his breath as his gaze grew pained and he got out:

"Watch out for the big, black bird."

Then his eyes closed as his head lolled to the side and she could feel his body growing warmer. Her eyes widened as he began to glow and then he burst into flames in her arms, turning into nothing but soft dust slipping through her fingers.

She bent her head and let the sobs rip through her.

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Hey! Hope all is well, all is with me. ;) Didn't think I'd get to update because I was having major problems accessing the site, but as you can see they worked out so - yay! :)

Special thanks to Winters1 (*smile* I am happy you're enjoying it in spite of Susannah, and well, all I can say is that I read your plea bright and clear, k?) ;) and wolf116 (woah, glad to in store so many thoughts about this chapter! :) Well, and other 'things' too of course. Hehe. It's so nice to read what parts you enjoyed, girl. It's always wonderful when you readers are detailed! Even if it's detail in one line it's wonderful! :) Thank you so much for sharing! And who wouldn't want Spike/James?! Some crazy person in diar need of hospitalization, I'd say! ;) Anyways, I'm happy you have something to agree on with your sister!) :).

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well!!!

A.M.L, Annie.