Song Fic: I Try by Macy Gray
Disclaimer: McG and Josh Schwartz own the O.C., I just wish I did.
A/N: Well, I got a little burst of inspiration and decided to make this song-fic longer. This might be the last chapter, or maybe not...Tell me what you guys think!
Ryan walked down the hall with Luke and a few of his water-polo buddies. Ever since Ryan had become friends with Luke, Luke's friends had wanted in on the friendship. At the end of the hall, Ryan and Luke separated from Brad, Michael, and Danny. They had physics while Ryan and Luke had history.
"So, how are you?" Luke asked.
Normally, when the Cohens would ask him questions like this, Ryan would become very defensive. But Luke asked questions in a way that was non- threatening. Ryan felt like he could talk to Luke without fear of punishment or major concern.
"Okay," Ryan said.
Luke didn't push. That was the thing. He was just not the obtrusive kind of person that Sandy or Kirsten was.
"Actually, I'm really confused," Ryan admitted. "I don't know what to do about Marissa. One minute, we are together and things are fine, and the next second I am pushing her away."
Luke nodded his head. "Suffering from a little schizophrenia, huh?"
Ryan cracked a smile. "Guess so. But what do you think I should do?"
Before Luke could answer, Marissa and Summer came over to them.
"Hey guys," Marissa said, taking Ryan's hand. He didn't squeeze back.
"Coop, we're late for class," Summer warned, grabbing her friend by the other hand.
Marissa smiled at Luke and Ryan before being pulled away by Summer.
Ryan smiled a little, hoping he at least looked happy and carefree to Marissa. Because he sure as hell knew that he couldn't resist her much longer.
*And I may smile and seem all right when you leave* *But my smiles are just a front* *Just a front, hey*
Marissa hurried to catch up with Summer who, as usual, was walking at an extremely rapid pace.
"I just don't get it," she said. "Half the time I feel like Ryan still loves me and wants me. But then he acts all cold and calm and cool. Like just now, he smiled at me, like he didn't need a thing in the world. Me, included."
Summer shook her head. Was Coop that naïve? "Coop, why can't you see? Ryan is pretending he's okay without you. But I bet he's tearing up inside."
Marissa looked at Summer. "Why?" she asked softly.
Summer sighed. "Honey, Ryan loves you. But he thinks that he will hurt you if you are together. And he definitely thinks that he has already hurt you. So he's trying to resist his feelings for your benefit. Or at least what he thinks is for your benefit."
A light bulb went off in Marissa's head.
"How the hell do you know these things?" Marissa asked in surprise. It seemed so simple now that she understood it.
"Coop, I've been playing these games with guys for years," Summer reminded her friend.
But the difference with me is that I never had true feelings for any of those guys, Summer thought.
The gang was loaded down with homework that night, so no plans were made. And definitely no secret sneak-ins.
Ryan, being the exceptional student that he was, finished his homework early. But he was tired. And worn out from thinking so much. Seth was playing video games and being yelled at by Sandy. Sandy didn't understand why Seth hadn't finished his homework when Ryan had had two days' worth of homework to do, yet had already finished it.
He decided to go to bed early. But he couldn't shake the thoughts of Marissa from his mind. Why did she still want him? She deserved so much better. His heart ached with this thought, which he knew to be entirely untrue. So why was he doing this? His mind raced with her words from the other day, What are you afraid of? What was he afraid of? Commitment? Love? Dawn Atwood had destroyed his perceptions of love and trust. She had let him down, time after time. And then there were the Chino girls. The ones that he had one-night stands with. He hadn't loved any of them. But he had always associated sex with love. And he had learned to shake sex, and in turn love, off like it meant nothing.
Marissa was different.
Ryan fell asleep with the image of Marissa burning in his mind.
*I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you*
Ryan woke up. He jumped out of bed and looked at the clock. 11 AM, it read.
Shit.
He ran into the kitchen in the main house, where Seth was groggily eating a Pop-Tart.
"Man, what are you doing? We're like, really late for school!" Ryan demanded to know.
Seth laughed. "Chillax, man, don't you remember? Today is some professional day for the teachers. So we have no school."
Ryan stared, dumbfounded at Seth.
"Come on Ryan, don't tell me you don't mark these kinds of days on your calendar," Seth joked, thinking that Ryan was speechless because of this.
"Chillax?" Ryan started, "what the hell is that?"
"Chill and relax," Seth replied matter-of-factly. "Don't tell me you've never heard that saying before?"
"God, no," Ryan rolled his eyes. "And please don't let me ever hear it again."
"Okay," Seth muttered. "By the way, Summer and Marissa are coming over. They want to tan here today."
Ryan's eyes lit up. "Sweet."
"Totally."
Ryan grabbed a Pop-Tart and ran to the pool house to get ready. Of course, this just meant making his bed, putting all of his books in his backpack, and throwing on a wife beater and a swimsuit.
The doorbell rang as Ryan poured himself a glass of orange juice and took a Flintstones vitamin. They were corny, and he knew it, but hey, they couldn't hurt him.
He opened the door and found Summer and Marissa standing there.
Summer pushed past Ryan and walked into the kitchen. Marissa and Ryan followed her.
"Eww. Whose Flintstones vitamins are these?" Summer asked disdainfully. "Seth's actually," Ryan said. "I found them out here and I didn't have a chance to put them away."
"I heard that," Seth yelled from upstairs. "And Summer, they're Ryan's."
"Whatever," Summer said. "Come on Coop, we're wasting precious tanning minutes."
"You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute," Marissa said, and she and Ryan were left alone in the kitchen.
Marissa took a step towards Ryan, smelling his Old Spice cologne. Mm.
"Hey," she said softly.
"Hey yourself," Ryan said. Was it just him, or had it gotten hotter in the kitchen? He was beginning to sweat.
*And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'"
Marissa took another step towards Ryan.
"How are you feeling?" It was a lame question, seeing as how Ryan had been in school the day before, but Marissa didn't care.
"I'm better now," Ryan replied, hoping she understood.
Marissa took another step towards Ryan. The two were so close they were practically touching. Ryan didn't know if he could take it anymore. The sexual tension between them was accelerating.
Now Marissa was face to face with Ryan. She stared into his eyes, and he leaned in impulsively, hoping to catch her unaware. But Marissa was one step ahead of him. She skipped out to the pool just as he was about to kiss her.
"If you really want me, you'll have to come and get me!" Marissa shouted from outside.
Ryan smiled, and a sigh of relief escaped from his mouth.
She still loved him, wanted him.
What a tease.
Ryan turned and ran after her. He wasn't going to let her get away this time.
Disclaimer: McG and Josh Schwartz own the O.C., I just wish I did.
A/N: Well, I got a little burst of inspiration and decided to make this song-fic longer. This might be the last chapter, or maybe not...Tell me what you guys think!
Ryan walked down the hall with Luke and a few of his water-polo buddies. Ever since Ryan had become friends with Luke, Luke's friends had wanted in on the friendship. At the end of the hall, Ryan and Luke separated from Brad, Michael, and Danny. They had physics while Ryan and Luke had history.
"So, how are you?" Luke asked.
Normally, when the Cohens would ask him questions like this, Ryan would become very defensive. But Luke asked questions in a way that was non- threatening. Ryan felt like he could talk to Luke without fear of punishment or major concern.
"Okay," Ryan said.
Luke didn't push. That was the thing. He was just not the obtrusive kind of person that Sandy or Kirsten was.
"Actually, I'm really confused," Ryan admitted. "I don't know what to do about Marissa. One minute, we are together and things are fine, and the next second I am pushing her away."
Luke nodded his head. "Suffering from a little schizophrenia, huh?"
Ryan cracked a smile. "Guess so. But what do you think I should do?"
Before Luke could answer, Marissa and Summer came over to them.
"Hey guys," Marissa said, taking Ryan's hand. He didn't squeeze back.
"Coop, we're late for class," Summer warned, grabbing her friend by the other hand.
Marissa smiled at Luke and Ryan before being pulled away by Summer.
Ryan smiled a little, hoping he at least looked happy and carefree to Marissa. Because he sure as hell knew that he couldn't resist her much longer.
*And I may smile and seem all right when you leave* *But my smiles are just a front* *Just a front, hey*
Marissa hurried to catch up with Summer who, as usual, was walking at an extremely rapid pace.
"I just don't get it," she said. "Half the time I feel like Ryan still loves me and wants me. But then he acts all cold and calm and cool. Like just now, he smiled at me, like he didn't need a thing in the world. Me, included."
Summer shook her head. Was Coop that naïve? "Coop, why can't you see? Ryan is pretending he's okay without you. But I bet he's tearing up inside."
Marissa looked at Summer. "Why?" she asked softly.
Summer sighed. "Honey, Ryan loves you. But he thinks that he will hurt you if you are together. And he definitely thinks that he has already hurt you. So he's trying to resist his feelings for your benefit. Or at least what he thinks is for your benefit."
A light bulb went off in Marissa's head.
"How the hell do you know these things?" Marissa asked in surprise. It seemed so simple now that she understood it.
"Coop, I've been playing these games with guys for years," Summer reminded her friend.
But the difference with me is that I never had true feelings for any of those guys, Summer thought.
The gang was loaded down with homework that night, so no plans were made. And definitely no secret sneak-ins.
Ryan, being the exceptional student that he was, finished his homework early. But he was tired. And worn out from thinking so much. Seth was playing video games and being yelled at by Sandy. Sandy didn't understand why Seth hadn't finished his homework when Ryan had had two days' worth of homework to do, yet had already finished it.
He decided to go to bed early. But he couldn't shake the thoughts of Marissa from his mind. Why did she still want him? She deserved so much better. His heart ached with this thought, which he knew to be entirely untrue. So why was he doing this? His mind raced with her words from the other day, What are you afraid of? What was he afraid of? Commitment? Love? Dawn Atwood had destroyed his perceptions of love and trust. She had let him down, time after time. And then there were the Chino girls. The ones that he had one-night stands with. He hadn't loved any of them. But he had always associated sex with love. And he had learned to shake sex, and in turn love, off like it meant nothing.
Marissa was different.
Ryan fell asleep with the image of Marissa burning in his mind.
*I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you*
Ryan woke up. He jumped out of bed and looked at the clock. 11 AM, it read.
Shit.
He ran into the kitchen in the main house, where Seth was groggily eating a Pop-Tart.
"Man, what are you doing? We're like, really late for school!" Ryan demanded to know.
Seth laughed. "Chillax, man, don't you remember? Today is some professional day for the teachers. So we have no school."
Ryan stared, dumbfounded at Seth.
"Come on Ryan, don't tell me you don't mark these kinds of days on your calendar," Seth joked, thinking that Ryan was speechless because of this.
"Chillax?" Ryan started, "what the hell is that?"
"Chill and relax," Seth replied matter-of-factly. "Don't tell me you've never heard that saying before?"
"God, no," Ryan rolled his eyes. "And please don't let me ever hear it again."
"Okay," Seth muttered. "By the way, Summer and Marissa are coming over. They want to tan here today."
Ryan's eyes lit up. "Sweet."
"Totally."
Ryan grabbed a Pop-Tart and ran to the pool house to get ready. Of course, this just meant making his bed, putting all of his books in his backpack, and throwing on a wife beater and a swimsuit.
The doorbell rang as Ryan poured himself a glass of orange juice and took a Flintstones vitamin. They were corny, and he knew it, but hey, they couldn't hurt him.
He opened the door and found Summer and Marissa standing there.
Summer pushed past Ryan and walked into the kitchen. Marissa and Ryan followed her.
"Eww. Whose Flintstones vitamins are these?" Summer asked disdainfully. "Seth's actually," Ryan said. "I found them out here and I didn't have a chance to put them away."
"I heard that," Seth yelled from upstairs. "And Summer, they're Ryan's."
"Whatever," Summer said. "Come on Coop, we're wasting precious tanning minutes."
"You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute," Marissa said, and she and Ryan were left alone in the kitchen.
Marissa took a step towards Ryan, smelling his Old Spice cologne. Mm.
"Hey," she said softly.
"Hey yourself," Ryan said. Was it just him, or had it gotten hotter in the kitchen? He was beginning to sweat.
*And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'"
Marissa took another step towards Ryan.
"How are you feeling?" It was a lame question, seeing as how Ryan had been in school the day before, but Marissa didn't care.
"I'm better now," Ryan replied, hoping she understood.
Marissa took another step towards Ryan. The two were so close they were practically touching. Ryan didn't know if he could take it anymore. The sexual tension between them was accelerating.
Now Marissa was face to face with Ryan. She stared into his eyes, and he leaned in impulsively, hoping to catch her unaware. But Marissa was one step ahead of him. She skipped out to the pool just as he was about to kiss her.
"If you really want me, you'll have to come and get me!" Marissa shouted from outside.
Ryan smiled, and a sigh of relief escaped from his mouth.
She still loved him, wanted him.
What a tease.
Ryan turned and ran after her. He wasn't going to let her get away this time.
