Author's Note: question from last chapter – "Is the bad guy Spanish, or was the 'henchman' Spanish?" Answer to both is no – I just had a really hard time of spelling the Italian form of 'sir' right. It was supposed to be "Signor", which is pronounced the same way as "senor" – just in Italian. I did go back and fix that. Bad me. Let me know what you all are thinking, because if I don't know, then I can't clear anything up.
A/N 2: okay, this one took me awhile. It was somewhat painful to write, and you probably won't be laughing so much at it, but this was all needed to set things up for the rest of the story. Pretty much the entire plot depends on this chapter. So read – hopefully everyone is true to character and all the emotions are believable.
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End of the chapter before the Interlude:
Jack left the room quickly and quietly, shutting the door behind him. Descending the stairs, he found Morgan, Ry, and Cat all standing waiting for him. "I'll be brief. I don't have much time to waste."
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Winn woke up sometime the next day with a pounding headache and a funny taste in her mouth. For a moment she had no idea where she was; her bed wasn't moving underneath her. Rolling over without opening her eyes, she reached for Jack. But he wasn't there. "Jack?" There was no answer but a whining and a scratching on the door. What is going on?
Winn opened her eyes and found herself in her bedroom at her grandfather's house. What? A thought fluttered through her mind that perhaps the past few years had been nothing more than a dream and she was supposed to leave this morning for Antigua to carry out some business for Grandfather. And then she would go to Jamaica for Elizabeth and Will's wedding. But . . . I thought I already did that. If only her mind was clear enough for her to think!
She was wondering if she had had too much to drink the night before when Cat came into the room with her two youngest children trailing after her. Wait, when did Cat have two more children? she thought as her sister went and opened the curtains to reveal that it was sometime past noon.
"Well, hello there. We thought you were never going to wake up, and that we were going to have to wait for Jack to come back to wake you with a kiss."
Jack . . . . Taking a look at Cat's children she remembered that their names were Adam and Ava, twins born a month before she had come back from England. After she was married to Jack. So where's Jack?
"Don't blame me for taking a page from your book, Winnie. You're the one who wanted to do this the hard way, love. I'd love to have you come with me, but it would be too much of a distraction, and that's something that neither of us can afford right now."
"Freddy? Are you alright?" Winn had this confused look in her eye. I think Jack may have gone a little overboard on the laudanum.
Cat took a few steps towards the bed, only to be shocked when Winn broke her silence with a flood of curses, all of them centering around her husband and what she found to be an ill-thought out plan.
It was nearly an hour later before anyone could engage Winn in rational conversation without having to endure her foul mouth. Both Cat and Morgan were somewhat shocked by Winn's vocabulary – Cat because she had never truly seen her sister-in-law enraged, Morgan because he expected at least a semblance of civility from his granddaughter. Only Ry stood nearby and watched her outbursts with some resemblance of equanimity. He had seen his sister truly mad once or twice before, and had frankly been expecting this since the night before.
"She's going to be furious, you know that, right?" he had asked his newest and last brother-in-law. (Cat had several younger brothers.)
Jack had only shrugged. "She didn't leave me with much of a choice. I can't take her with me to find the man who apparently wants her head, and no matter how much reassurance I give her, we both know this is a dangerous and perhaps foolhardy thing I'm setting out to do. I'll risk my own neck because I know that I'll do whatever it takes to come back for her – but I won't risk her neck, or allow her to do so." He shrugged again, grim humor lighting up his eyes – the smile of a man who was willing to take his humor where he could find it. "Besides, as she so astutely pointed out, it did seem that I owed her . . . and I usually try to pay my debts."
Cat had interrupted the conversation between the two men. Jack had explained matters and was trying to leave, but it wasn't working well. "I don't understand what this Greek has to do with anything. How exactly does a man named Stephanopoulos fit into this . . . situation?"
"He's the contact man. He has nothing to do with this at all, other than he knows where to find the man who's orchestrating it all." Jack held his hands away from his body in a gesture of confusion or supplication – it was hard to tell sometimes. "Look after Winnie for me? Don't let her leave the island. I don't want her haring off to find me. She'll find trouble instead and we already have more than enough of that commodity on our hands." He tipped his hat. "Now if you'll excuse me, my ship and my crew are awaiting my return. Tell Winnie to stay out of trouble and to remember my promise." And with that he had left.
And left us to deal with a mad Freddy. Not that he blamed the man. If someone had been threatening Cat, he would have done the same thing. Yes, but Cat would listen to reason. At least I think she would. He just wished there had been a way to leave his sister here without infuriating her first. By this time he was hoping that Sparrow would live simply so he could throttle the man. "Freddy, as much as I sympathize with your plight, will you please just shut your bloody trap?" Winn paused mid-rant to glare at her brother. "And don't suggest that I go off and do something considered rude in polite company. I do have children in the house, and I think that they've learned enough questionable vocabulary from you for today."
At this Winn had the grace to look abashed. "I'm sorry. It's just . . . I'm just so mad with Jack right now." Throwing her hands in the air she spun around and stalked to her window. Glaring out at the view before her, she said, "He tricked me, and now he's out there taking risks on my behalf, and I hate it. I hate not knowing whether he's all right or not. I hate knowing that if something happens to him, it'll be my fault because I am the cause of all this."
"Nonsense," Morgan scoffed at the idea. "Sparrow is doing exactly what I would have done had anyone ever threatened your grandmother." Ry smiled as Winn turned so he could see her roll her eyes. Apparently the idea that her husband was acting in a manner that Grandfather approved didn't lay any of her fears to rest. "It's a husband's duty to look out for his wife. If he doesn't, then he needs to be flogged until he learns his lesson."
Oh yes, that makes me feel ever so much better. Pirates. "Why is it that when a woman lets her man protect her she's being smart, but when a man accepts that same protection, he's labeled coward?" Winn quietly asked the room in general as she leaned her head against the glass. "It's just that he takes so many unnecessary risks when I'm not aboard. He's such a pirate, living off the thrill of escape and capture, giving chase, outsmarting his opponents, battling the sea itself to prove," she laughed humorlessly, "to prove that he's 'Captain Jack Sparrow,' and he's still a force to be reckoned with." But so am I, and that is the first thing he's going to learn when he gets back. It's going to take him weeks to earn his way back into my good graces. She weaved on her feet as another wave of sleepiness washed over her. The drugs must not be out of my system yet.
Turning to her family, she leaned against the wall. "Now, if you will all excuse me, I think I tired myself out. I'd like to take another nap." She watched as both Grandfather and Ry left, and fought the urge to roll her eyes as Cat came up to her. She knew her sister-in-law was only concerned for her health, but she was fine. Just drugged and furious with her husband. "I'm fine, Cat. Really, I am. I just need a nap."
"You've already slept most of the day away, Winn." Cat rested a cool palm against Winn's forehead.
"That's because my husband has no idea how little laudanum it takes to knock out someone my size."
"And perhaps because you just spent the last hour disparaging everything from his parents to his ship to the dirt under his fingernails?"
Winn reluctantly agreed, "That might have something to do with my current state, yes." She ducked out from under Cat's hand. "I'll be fine."
Sighing in defeat, Cat said, "Very well, go back to bed. But I'm coming back to wake you for dinner. You can't stave yourself simply because you're upset." Winn nodded tiredly, absently pressing a hand to her wounded arm. It was mostly healed by now, but it still hurt some. Cat noticed and kissed Winn on the top of the head as if the shorter woman were one of her children. "Sleep well."
Winn was trapped in her dream again, except things were different this time. She stood by watching as her dream self lectured the young Italian man, watched as time apparently slowed down as he threw off the men holding him and pulled a derringer out of his boot top. But as he raised his arm to fire, the figure that was her shimmered and turned into her husband. She tried to run across the deck to stop what was about to happen, but couldn't move, couldn't make a sound, couldn't even turn her head away from the scene that was unfolding before her. In stupefaction she watched the young man bring his arm up and fire, watched as the bullet hit her husband, watched him curl forward in pain, but she actually felt the pain. She felt the fire of the bullet wound as she instinctively hunched over to protect her injured belly. Then, before the fire of impact could diminish, it changed – became a ripping sort of pain. Finding she was able to make sound, she screamed, gripping her abdomen as the pain went on and on. She collapsed to the deck under its burden. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the pain stopped as cleanly as if it had never even existed. Releasing her stomach, she looked at her hands. They were covered in blood. Jack . . . . Getting to her knees, she looked around. Everyone had disappeared, everything but the body of her husband. No . . . .
She slowly got to her feet, slowly made her way across the deck. Jack was lying on the deck, his back to her, curled up as she had been earlier. She kneeled down beside him and turned his body towards her. His eyes were shut. She was unable to tell whether he was dead or alive. No. Not dead. Please.
"Mama?" Winn turned her head. There was a child standing behind her.
"Who are you?" This had never happened before.
"I don't want any more company."
"What?" This child . . . Winn couldn't tell if it was a he or a she, but it had dark hair and dark eyes. Or where they blue? She wasn't sure. Its skin was dusky, a shade darker than her own. It had a long strait nose and level brows. If she and Jack could have children, they would probably resemble the child before her. The child before her . . . .
"No . . . ." The pain, worse this time. She screamed, clutching her abdomen in desperation with hands that were still tinted red with blood. The child in her dream laid its hand over hers and the pain gradually went away.
"Don't lose this one. I don't want anymore company."
Winn . . . wake up Winn.
She could feel herself waking up and fought against it. She couldn't, not until she knew whom she was talking to. "Who are you? Please tell me."
"You know. Or perhaps you can guess." The hand holding hers squeezed gently. "Take care of this one. Your bird will be fine."
My bird? What? She looked around. Jack was gone, a bird stood in his place – a sparrow. She watched as it tilted her head to look at her. She could have sworn that if it could have, it would have smiled, but before she could process the thought it had flown away.
Winn. Wake up, Winn. It's time for dinner.
"Take care of yourself. Don't lose this one." The child let go of her. "Winn, dinner won't stay warm forever."
Winn gasped as she woke up, throwing herself forward in the bed, startling Cat into a small scream. Winn didn't care, she was too busy examining her hands, front and back. They were clean of any blood, to her great relief. She felt a pang in her stomach, then recognized it as the complaint of an empty belly. "Just a dream," she breathed.
"Winn! Are you all right? You nearly scared the life out of me!"
Looking up at her sister, Winn felt her newfound sense of relief flee from her mind. "Cat?"
Alarmed at the amount of anxiety in Winn's voice, Cat immediately put her minor scare behind her. "What is it, Winn? What's wrong? Were you having a nightmare?" She took a seat on the bed.
"Yes, but that's not what has me upset." Glancing back down at her hands to ensure they were clean she asked, "You won't share what I'm about to tell you with anybody, will you? Not even Ry?"
"No, of course not." This cannot be good. "What is it you want to ask me?"
Winn looked at the door – it was wide open. She got up to shut it, then leaning against it, she asked, "If . . . if I had a . . . a miscarriage very early on in a pregnancy, would . . . would I be able to tell it apart from a very heavy menstrual cycle?"
Oh God, please tell me that this is just some information gathering. Winn's had so much to deal with in her life, tell me she hasn't had to deal with this too, Cat prayed. Carefully she said, "Yes. That is possible. There are times when a woman's body knows when the life it is carrying is too fragile to survive long, so it gets rid of the child. Usually within the first six weeks or so." She watched as Winn's face went pale. She's going to faint.
She got up from the bed and immediately helped Winn over to an armchair. "Sit down, take some deep breaths."
Winn couldn't hear her over the ringing in her ears. "Don't lose this one . . . ." "I didn't know. My cycle has been so irregular since . . . since . . . . I didn't know." She looked up at Cat, trying to hold back tears. "I didn't know. I thought it was my body being it's usual unpredictable self. "I thought . . . I thought that it was just some bad cramps."
Asking in a quiet voice, Cat said, "You think you've had a miscarriage?" Winn nodded. "When?"
Gathering what was left of her emotional reserves, Winn said, "There was once, about three months after I got back from England. And then again about a month after Susan was born," she continued, naming Richard's youngest child. "And, perhaps another time, three months before Matthew was born." Matthew was Marcus and Grace's youngest.
"Oh, Winn." Cat wasn't sure what else to say. What did you say? She didn't even know what she would want people to say to her if she were in Winn's shoes. She had never lost a child before. Instead of speaking, she carefully wrapped her arms around her sister-in-law's rigid frame. For a moment, Winn resisted the embrace, but then she collapsed, sobbing, all her emotional strength gone. For one instant she was blindingly mad at Jack for leaving her here alone, for not being here to comfort her, but then she was glad he wasn't. She didn't want him to see her like this. Didn't want to face him until she could hold herself together to tell him.
She let Cat hold her, knew that she understood because she was a woman. Understood what kind of pain the loss of a child could bring. Maybe she had never experienced it, but she could imagine, better than one of Winn's brothers or even her husband could. "I didn't even know. Never knew that something was wrong."
After about a half an hour, Winn was exhausted. She had tears left to cry, but not enough strength left to shed them. She had used it all earlier, in her anger at being drugged and left alone. She regretted that now, she would have loved to keep crying until she fell into an exhausted sleep, one that would guarantee an absence of dreams. Turning her head so it was no longer buried in Cat's neck she said, "Cat?"
"What is it?"
"That's not all I had to ask you."
She felt Cat smooth her hair back out of her face. "I'm sure whatever else you wanted to ask me can wait."
"No, it can't." Sitting up, Winn brushed the tears from her face. "How do you know when you're pregnant?"
"You think you're pregnant?" How many more revelations could be packed into this day without Winn going mad? She had recently found out that she had an unknown enemy who most likely wanted her dead, that she had been marooned by her husband (even though it was with her family), and that she had possibly lost three children, although there was no way to be sure. How much more can she take before breaking?
"Yes. I've been tired, hungry and repulsed by food by turns, somewhat emotional – for me at least – and having the strangest dreams." She gave a tired laugh that was more an admission of defeat than of delight. "At least if I'm experiencing symptoms, I've made it farther than I ever have before. That's good, right? Good that my body didn't immediately reject the baby?"
"Yes, it's good, but it doesn't mean that it still couldn't. Your body has been severely injured, Winn. If you were anyone else, I would suggest copious amounts of bedrest for the next seven or eight months, But knowing you, it'd drive you crazy." Cat rubbed her face, "I will say that you need to rest. Take things easy; no running footraces, no piggyback rides or throwing the younger children up in the air, absolutely no practice swordfights, no lifting heavy objects, preferably a minimum of walking – but I'm not stupid –"
"You make it sound as if I'm not willing to protect the life of my own child, if I am indeed pregnant. I'll do what it takes to keep this child." She had never spent much time considering having children of her own, believing that she couldn't and that she was content being an aunt, but Winn was finding that the idea was strangely appealing. She wondered what Jack was going to think. He was such a free spirit, and if he had thought that marriage would have tied him down or slowed him down, she doubted she would have ever had to face a wedding ceremony. But a child . . . that was a rather large responsibility. Worry about that after you know for sure that you're pregnant and after Jack has come back. Until then it's rather pointless, and you have other things to be thinking about. She realized that Cat was talking to her.
" – know that you wouldn't purposely endanger the life of a child, but I also know that this isn't something that you've ever really thought about. When the doctors said that you would be unable to have children, you took their word as the absolute truth – I know you and I know how you think. You decided that you weren't ever going to have children, and that was that. I just want to make sure that you have all the information that you need right now."
"Right now I think I'm ready for another nap." She saw the sun was setting. "Or perhaps just to sleep through until tomorrow." Her stomach growled, tired of being ignored. "Make that I'm going to go to bed right I after I eat something."
"What sounds appetizing?" Cat understood that Winn's body was probably making all sorts of demands on her, and they were probably having a hard time making themselves understood. Winn was used to demanding things from her body, not to having to listen to what it wanted.
"Umm . . . fish? Yes, fish sounds really good – but not stewed. That would be awful." Cat hid a smile, understood all too well how cravings sometimes made no sense whatsoever. "And some bread with marmalade. And do we have any bananas? Those sound good."
"Anything to drink?"
"Milk."
Patting Winn's head, Cat got up. "Well, let me see what I can do about getting you some supper. Don't worry about coming downstairs, I'll make your excuses for you. Tell the men that you're feeling a tad bit under the weather from Jack's overenthusiastic plan to get you here peacefully."
"Thank you." As Cat turned to leave, Winn asked a bit desperately, "You won't tell anyone yet, will you? I want to be the one to break the news. About the pregnancy at least. I don't think anyone but Jack needs to know the rest." And I have no idea how I'm going to tell him. I wouldn't tell him . . . but . . . doesn't he have a right to know? I'm not sure that this is something I want to carry by myself. I'm not sure I can. Why did you have to leave me? she asked her absent husband. I need you here, but you're not. If she didn't stop thinking about this, she was going to start crying again.
"No, I won't tell anyone." Winn nodded her acknowledgement of the answer, but was relieved when Cat left. She had too much to think about and store away for company to be welcome anymore.
"Jack, I need you. You'd better come back soon, or I will hunt you down, and no one will be able to stop me," she whispered into the empty room. But she knew it was an empty threat – she had other concerns, ones that would keep her homebound for some time to come. There was a scratching on the door. Pigeon. Getting up from her chair, she let the dog into the room. Settling down by her floor to ceiling window, she absently hugged the dog to her as Pige took up her rightful place by her mistress. The dog whined, able to tell by some canine sense that Winn was unsettled. Speaking to the dog as much as to herself, Winn said, "He's coming back. I'm just watching for him." Waiting, watching, and praying – a woman's lot in life. One I hate but can't avoid. She rested a hand against her belly, over the part of her that possibly harbored new life. A life she felt so unqualified to watch over. Waiting. More waiting. But . . . perhaps . . . . Perhaps it'll be all right. Taking a deep breath she thought, It has to be all right. I'll make sure it's all right.
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Author's Thanks – first off, lilitaliandragon – so sorry for missing you in my last thanks! : ( I've been keeping track of reviews by list instead of printing off a hard copy. Maybe I need to start doing that again. Anyway, mucho thanks.
To the rest of my wonderful reviewers – you guys are great, and you keep me going. Thanks a bunch to; Elizabeth Moore, jigglykat, Rebel lady, PeleAmelika, Clover the Sea-Beast, Arwen Lune, jackfan2, Ginny-Star, completeopposites, ao_hoshi, TaraRose, Eledhwen, lilitaliandragon (see above), KawaiiRyu, bobo3
