Last Time: After Joanna agreed to sign my cartridge, here comes Jonathan! And wouldn't-ya-know-it? He throws my cartridge out the door and into the friggin' parking lot! Then, the cameraman shows me a *tape*

Misc. Notes: BTW, I named the chapter titles after verbal expressions so you could get an overall feel of the chapter.

~Mz/Chx

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Chapter 5: Suprise!

Jonathan: Um, do you have change for a dollar?

Skedar: . . .

:::::end tape:::::

Mz/Chx: . . . . .

Cameraman: So, you get it now.

Mz/Chx: Um. . .no. . .

Cameraman: You crackie! They're gonna 86 Joanna!

Mz/Chx: *crackie?* o__O . . .?

Cameraman: (runs a finger across his throat) kkkkcchhhh!

Mz/Chx: Oh my God! Gimmie that camera! I'm going in!

Cameraman: Uh, okay. (gives her the camera)

Mz/Chx: Thanks! (runs off)

Cameraman: Hey! What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Mz/Chx: I dunno. . .Uh, play with your cell-phone or something! (bangs on the cloaking device and turns invisible)

Cameraman: . . . . .

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(once again, she's back inside, looking for Joanna while two men are looking for her)

Mz/Chx: (still invisible) There she is! (the cloaking device runs out)

Bouncer #1: There she is!!

Bouncer #2: Let's get her!

(the bouncers eventually chase her down and capture her by her collar)

Mz/Chx: Uh. . .hello guys!

Bouncer #2: Don't you "hello guys" us!

Bouncer #1: Yeah!

Mz/Chx: Okay, I'm sorry but. . .Oh my God! Is that a 50 dollar bill on the ground?! (figets around)

Bouncer #1: Pfft! Right! Like were gonna fall for dat again!

Bouncer #2: Alright! A 50 dollar bill!

Bouncer #1: Were'd you get dat?!

Bouncer #2: Uh, on da grownd? (I know how to spell "ground" but I was emphasizing the "accent" of the bouncers)

Bouncer #1: Uh, how 'bout we split it?

Bouncer #2: Uh, how 'bout I keep it for myself?

Mz/Chx: . . . . .

(the dollar bill suddenly flies from the bouncer's hand and onto the ground)

Bouncer #1: (drops Mz/Chx and she lands on her bum again) Hey! Catch dat dollar!

(the bouncers trace the dollar to a cute little boy with crimson eyes and violet-blue hair)

Bouncer #2: Uh, excuse me Mr. Kafei, sir? But we was tracin' dis dollar bill and. . .

Kafei: Oh, you mean this one?

Bouncer #1: Yeah, and. . .Wait, how'd it get directly to youse?

Kafei: Dollar-snatcher, BUST!

Bouncer #1: Why you little-!!

Bouncer #2: Hey, hey! Wait till we's off-duty!

Kafei: Oh, by the way, aren't you supposed to be chasing that hottie over there?

Bouncers: (turn to Mz/Chx who was across the room and was stupidly standing there) Oh!

Mz/Chx: I should run now! (runs)

(the bouncers eventually chase her into the ladies room but they knew better than to go in. . .dumbasses. . .)

Bouncer #1: You go in. . .

Bouncer #2: I'm not going in you go in. . .

(the bouncers continue to argue)

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(meanwhile, in the HUGE ladies room, the toilets are occupied and there are nintendo stars fussing over the mirror)

Peach: Daisy, will you MOVE?

Daisy: You have on enough blush! It's my turn!

Pipsy: (the mouse from Diddy Kong racing) Please ladies, let's keep it civilized!

Mz/Chx: Oh boy. . .

(a toilet flushes and out of the stall comes. . .)

Mz/Chx: Miss Dark!

Joanna: (who is rather nervous) Oh, hello!

Mz/Chx: Before you sign my cartridge, I have something very important to show you!

Joanna: Oh, really?

(shows her the tape and 5 minutes later in a private room, Joanna is crying)

Mz/Chx: I'm sorry you had to see that, Joanna. I truly am.

Joanna: It's. . .it's okay, Miss Cheex.

(Jonathan bursts through the room)

Jonathan: Sweetheart, I was looking for---(sees Mz/Chx) Oh, it's YOU again.

Mz/Chx: Hi Jonathan! (cough-cough asshole cough-cough)

Joanna: (steps up to Jonathan and slaps him) !!

Mz/Chx: OOOOH! She slapped the muthafuckin' TASTE out yo mouf!

Jonathan: What was that for?!

Joanna: You were going to fucking kill me! That's what!

Jonathan: Oh, I was not. . .

Joanna: Oh really?!

(shows him the tape and 5 minutes later)

Joanna: (sobbing) How could you?! I loved you!

Mz/Chx: (instigating) Yeah, how could you!

Jonathan: Would you stay out of this?!?! Joanna, I will admit that I'm not exactly who you think I am.

Joanna: Well then who the HELL are you then, Jonathan?! Who the HELL ARE YOU?!

Jonathan: I'm (in Mr. Blonde's voice) A skedar. (he presses a button on his watch and changes into Mr. Blonde)

Mz/Chx: I knew it!

Joanna: Why are you here, Mr. Blonde?!

Jonathan, I mean. . .Mr. Blonde: I was. . .

Mz/Chx: (interrupts) Trying to blow you head off with Fly-by-Wire missles, and reaper bullets!

Mr. Blonde: I was going to GIVE them to her!

Mz/Chx: Exactly!

Mr. Blonde: No, I mean LITERALLY!

Mz/Chx: Say what?

Mr. Blonde: (sigh) You're such a dumb kid! When I said we were going to give them to her, I meant as a PEACE OFFERING from the Skedar Race!!

Joanna: Oh, well. . .Why'd you disguise yourself as my fiancee?

Mr. Blonde: We talked to Jonathan and he thought the whole surprise wasn't going to go well, so I tied him up. Don't worry, he's safe and sound in the Carrington Institute.

Joanna: Oh, um. . .Thank you.

Mz/chx: Oooooooohhhhhhh! So you kept trying to get rid of—yes! Anyways, before I feel any more dumb-founded, could you PLEASE autograph my cartridge, Miss Dark?

Joanna: Sure. (signs cartridge)

Mz/Chx: (squeals) Thank you! Um by the way. . .Where's Kafei?

Joanna: Um, don't worry about Kafei.

Mz/Chx: (sad) Ok. I guess I'll leave now.

Joanna: Why? We have a primiere to watch!

Mz/Chx: Really? Oh thank you Miss Dark!

~The End!

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Well, THAT was *u.n.e.x.p.e.c.t.e.d.* huh? How many of you really thought that Jonathan had betrayed the CI? Yeah, I see your hand up! Well, that's it for the Burgandy Carpet! Maybe I can get back to writing DDR now. Or better yet. . .

MzCheex@yahoo.com