Author's Note: please, please, please let me know if Jack is too OOC. It's hard to tell because 1) I've never made him this serious for so long, and 2) even I can't really see Captain Jack Sparrow settling down with a family. (Well, not the settling down part at least.) I think he may be OOC for the film, but I'm working with the guy from 'Inconvenient' who started as the guy from the film, but then kinda evolved. Please tell me if I'm writing Jack alright. Above all, I want my characters to be true to themselves.
A/N 2: I decided that I need a muse to pin my lack of speedy updatement on. (Remember the days of 'Inconvenient' when I used to update every day, and sometimes twice a day? *sigh*) Therefore, I officially appoint Marty the Flamingo to the post of muse since he's not showing up so much this fic, and I know that he had something of a loyal following. So, check out my future A/N's for fowl hijinks. : )
Author's Thanks and Baby News at the end.
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Last Time:
Jack's mind absolutely refused to process what his hand was telling him. There was already too much at stake without this . . . inconvenience. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not when they had all the complications they needed. Yet as Jack met Winn's eyes again, as he saw the fears buried there, he saw that it was.
Trying to hide her nervousness, Winn quickly wetted her lips, then whispered, "I'm pregnant Jack." Her voice came out small and tinny, and she thought she might faint as she waited for his reaction.
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"Don't get me wrong, Jack. I wouldn't mind having children with Elizabeth some day, just not now." Will's words from four years ago rang as clearly in Jack's head as they had then. He wanted children with Winn. He had seen how good she was with her nieces and nephews, had seen how content she was to have twelve children piled into her bed after an evening of telling stories. Jack wanted that for her, wanted to see her with that same soft maternal smile on her face as she watched his children. He didn't want a gaggle like Winn's brother's had, but one or two young Sparrowlings? That he wouldn't mind seeing. He had even considered talking to Winn about it, but she had seemed so certain that she couldn't have children that he hadn't wanted or known how to bring the subject up without hurting her or making her mad.
But now . . . despite how he felt about the subject under different circumstances, this had to be the worst time for this to happen. And what was the woman thinking that she had come out here while pregnant? Out of all the stupid things she had ever done (in his mind) this had to be her crowning achievement.
"Winnie . . . ." The sheer enormity of her news and what it meant for their current situation left Jack speechless. If he allowed himself to get angry over the incredible risk she was taking, he'd end up saying something he didn't intend, would end up hurting Winn more than a simple slap across the face could. So he let the protest trail off.
Oh, she had known it. Jack wasn't happy. He didn't want a child. How could she have thought otherwise? He was a pirate, and pirates, while they liked accumulating wealth, they weren't so sold on the idea of collecting families. And Jack – Jack in particular – cherished his freedom. A child was anything but freedom – it was, at the very least, sixteen years of obligation and responsibility. "I'm sorry. I didn't . . . . I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think it could happen."
Jack felt guilty. While he understood that his reaction hadn't been as supportive as it could have been, he knew that he was making her feel guilty when she had no reason to. It wasn't as if she had decided to get pregnant behind his back, and it wasn't as if she had come after him with blatant disregard for the child inside her. Jack knew her, knew she would never do something like that. If she had come after him, it was with the belief that the two of them together could make things right. But there were times when simple belief wasn't enough to survive on. This time though, this time it was going to have to be, because Jack was not about to lose the one thing he had never had before – the chance of having a family of his own.
I have to make this better. "Shh, love. That's not what I meant. I wasn't blaming you for anything. I can't blame you for anything without blaming myself as well. Unless you're plannin' on telling me that not only did you get pregnant but you made a cuckold of me at the same time."
All suggestion of tears left Winn's face at that comment. "Jack Sparrow! How dare you say something like that?! Only a child of yours could cause so much trouble! How dare you suggest that I slept with another man?! You arrogant, overbearing, blackhearted, mangy, pi–" Jack interrupted her with a kiss, glad to see that she was no longer about to cry or wallowing in guilt. At least if she was angry with him, she wouldn't be trying to apologize for something she had no control over and something that under any other circumstances would be a reason to rejoice. He sincerely hoped that Winn's reactions up until now had just a symptom of the stress she was feeling, because if he had to face months of this, he'd go mad, turn into on of those henpecked husbands he had always distained.
At first Winn fought against the kiss, wanting to continue yelling at her insensitive husband. Of all the things to say. First he called her a traitor, and then he called her old and fat, and then he accused her of sleeping with another man. But Jack was persistent and her struggles won her nothing more than having his arms wrap more firmly around her growing frame. Reluctantly she let go of her anger and started to relax into the embrace, each muscle of her neck, shoulders, and back starting to unknot for the first time in days. In weeks.
The kiss eventually stopped, but Jack didn't let her go and Winn didn't try to remove herself from him. As long as he held her, she could ignore all the danger piling up around them and focus only on the joy and safety the last four years had brought her . . . that her husband have given her without premeditation or a second thought. It was enough that they had both missed this, had dreamed of this. Had woken in the night because it wasn't there. And now that they had it, both were unwilling to break the moment until it became absolutely necessary.
It could have been minutes or hours later when Jack finally murmured into Winn's ear, "I know you didn't sleep with another man, Winnie. I just couldn't watch you apologize for something you should be proud of. Savvy?"
Winn nodded against his chest, having come to this conclusion on her own. She should have known that Jack was simply trying to lighten the conversation by riling her. It was something he did often, and it was evidence of her own mental stress that she hadn't figured that out as soon as the words had come out of his mouth. But she was so tired, had had so many emotional ups and downs in the past hour or so that she was finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than how good it felt to be able to lean against her husband and feel him support her. She would give anything to just be able to stay here in this position forever. "I'm so tired."
"Would you like to go to bed?" The question was quiet and free of any emotion besides masked concern.
Winn nodded again, speech suddenly too much of an effort. Her eyes slipped shut even as she felt herself being led across the room. When Jack would have removed her outer clothes, she murmured a protest, not wanting to be caught without the protective layers. He desisted, only to set her on the bed so he could remove her boots. Winn opened her eyes to watch him, shrugging slightly when he removed her right boot and discovered that she had managed to keep hold of her boot-knife. He shook his head, but slipped the knife into one of the many hiding places on his person. When he would have moved away from the bed to let her sleep in peace, she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and tugged him back to her. "Where do you think you're going?"
"To make a plan."
Winn shook her head. "You can do that just as well while holding me," she observed, scooting over on the bunk to make room for him. "I sleep better when you're with me. An annoying, but true fact of what is now my life." You. You're my life. You and this child.
It had been his intention to leave, but when Jack saw the tension in Winn's shoulders when he tried to move away, he gave up on it. If she needed to feel him near her then that was enough of a reason for him to do so. He would never admit it (except under extreme duress), but he wanted to stay physically close to Winn now that she was here as much as she wanted him to stay with her. "Okay, love."
Jack slipped off his boots and got onto the bed, Winn quickly scooting over to lean against his side. It was a common position for them – Jack often awoke to find Winn sound asleep with her head rested on his shoulder and one hand curled over his heart. And while he had nothing against this, he wanted to be able to hold Winn in his arms, rest his hands over the place their child was growing.
Gently, Jack turned Winn until her back was to him. Realizing what her husband wanted, Winn snuggled back against his chest. Half asleep already, Winn let the rhythm of Jack's heart and breath lull her to sleep. Before unconsciousness claimed her entirely, she murmured, "Wake me when it gets dark. We need to talk." She hoped the kiss pressed into the back of her head was an acknowledgement of her request and not simply an ill-at-ease father-to-be's attempt to humor an emotional woman.
Jack tried to plan, he really did. It was simply impossibly for him to focus his mind, not that he could blame himself.
First off, his wife – who he had come to need more than he thought was possible – had walking into a dangerous and most likely life-threatening situation. He understood that she needed him just as much as he needed her, it's just that he would have preferred if she had stayed several-miles-away-where-he-needed-her, rather than here-in-his-arms-where-he-needed-her. And while it was nice to be reassured of her unwitting dependence on him, the possibilities inherent to these new circumstances were enough to chill his veins.
Secondly (in the order that Winn had established), he had just been reminded that at this time four years ago, he had been worrying about what his new, reluctant bride was thinking. What she was planning. What she was afraid of. And now here he was, still wondering the same thing. No matter how much time had passed, he still was unable to tell what exactly was going on in her head – how she arrived at conclusions.
"I think you have the right to know that should you want it, she would be yours, totally and completely, once she got used to the idea . . . . What you do with the story I just told is entirely up to you. I would advise you to think about what I said though. Nothing with Winn is ever easy, mostly because I think she enjoys being difficult. She may make your life a misery, but it would at least never be dull."
As much as he hated to agree with the Turner lass over anything, he had to admit that Elizabeth had been right. Life with Winn was a constant struggle, a constant battle of wills, or matching wits, of sailing dangerous waters . . . and of peace. Before meeting Winn, Jack had never known that peace could be so tumultuous. Had never known that contentment could be so full of contention. True, there were times when the two would get along smoothly, where there would be an accord between them – but it was the knowledge within their out and out, full-blown arguments that made things worthwhile. The knowledge that no matter what happened, no matter how much fury was released, Winn wasn't going anywhere. That no matter how angry she was, she was committed to him, and to them, and to making a life together. When was the last time he had found that in a person? Never, not that he could remember.
It was that united commitment to the future that brought Jack to his third point. Winn was pregnant with his child. His. It was only in the past year or so that he had even thought about the possibility of having a child with Winn. The day he had caught up with her on her friend's ship, he hadn't been joking when he had asked Winn if it was enough for her to live out his wastrel life with him, but he had never considered whether it was enough for him.
Before he had spent time with Winn's, and he supposed his, nieces and nephews, he hadn't even liked children. They had been these short little half-people that would one day grow up to the point when they were a real person. But now he understood them, and possibly even enjoyed them at times. He by no means wanted enough children to man a small ship . . . but . . . he wanted. He wanted to see Winn grow round and serene with his child, wanted people to be able to look at her and see just what form their commitment to each other took. He wanted Winn to have the opportunity to be the ultimate aunt – a devoted mother. He wanted to leave more than outlandish tales and a list of charges against his name.
When did Winnie manage to change what I wanted out of life? How did she manage to change it? What about her did this? Careful not to wake her, Jack slipped his hand underneath her shirt and started to slowly rub the slight swell of Winn's belly. Was it her eyes? Her sharp tongue? Winn shifted and sighed quietly in her sleep, pillowing her injured cheek on one hand. With a twinge of guilt, the reformed bachelor thought, It was when she ignored Captain Jack Sparrow and made Jack express what he wanted.
Lifting his head from the pillow, Jack saw that the light in the cabin was fading. The day was drawing to a close with such subtly for a day that had contained so much news of import. Hours had passed and he was no closer to a plan than he had been that morning. So, barring a plan, what was the ultimate goal?
That was simple enough to answer. Take advantage of any opportune moments, see Winn to safety, then eliminate Gandolfi should it become feasible.
Even though she was being held in her husband's arms and the illusion of safety should have been the strongest here, Winn didn't sleep for long. Just long enough for her exhausted mind to refresh itself. She fought to sleep longer, fought to hold of the consciousness that would bring the awareness of danger in its wake, but to no avail. Sleep fled her like the teasing veils of a harem dancer.
Winn opened her eyes to find that the cabin was dark, that her face was inches from a bare wall, that her back was pressed firmly against her husband's chest, and that his hands had found their way under her clothes to rest against the bare skin of her abdomen. Sighing in contentment at the feel of his calloused hands against her skin, she closed her eyes again and focused on Jack's breath rate. She paused as he finished exhaling, then when he inhaled again, she did so as well. There was no way he could mistake her for being still asleep, but he said nothing, and Winn was nervous enough to wait for him to open their conversation.
They continued breathing in concert for some time before Winn finally became impatient and asked, "It's dark. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Are you awake?"
"Yes."
"Then why does it matter?"
Again they feel into silence, the sound of breathing filling the room.
"Where's Pige?"
Jack looked over his shoulder. The dog was in the same stance she had been in since entering the room. She was in the classic sphinx pose, her eyes fastened on the door. "She's guarding the door." Guarding her mistress.
"Mmm. . . ."
Again silence descended, Jack's hands still occupied with tracing patterns over her skin. Several minutes passed before he asked, "How long?"
"Cat and the midwife thought perhaps five months. Maybe a bit less. It's hard to judge, my circumstances being what they are." It suddenly occurred to Winn that with Jack at her back, she was shielded from anyone who came in the door. It was too much that Jack had placed them both in a position that he could guard her with his very body should the need arise. Winn felt tears come to her eyes as she rolled to wrap her arms around Jack's neck. What had she ever done to deserve this? What in her life gave her the right to such a complex yet generous man? She feared for her safety and the safety of her child, but why? Why when this man had claimed her as his own? She had seen what he did for the love of a ship . . . what would he do for the love of her? Why did she worry? In a hushed yet urgent voice, she whispered, "I trust you, Jack."
Jack knew by the tone of her voice that with that one confession, Winn was admitting a host of things – none of which, however, were that she was wrong to have come. She was admitting that she needed help and she trusted him to support her, that she felt vulnerable and she trusted him to protect her, that she was scared and she trusted him to comfort her, and that she was willingly placing their immediate future in his hands without a second thought. The moment they were out of this, she was going to demand he listen to her again, but for the time being she was going to let him do his job while she did the only one he couldn't do – the job of sustaining their child.
Wordlessly he freed a hand and gently tilted Winn's face up to his. He examined her face in the light of the dying sun – even in the shadows he could see the imprint of his palm on the skin there. It occurred to him that Winn was a bit paler than she normally was. Was that because she was sick, or had she simply been staying inside during his absence? Remorsefully he fitted his hand to the mark, watching Winn's eyes as he did so. "Are you feeling alright?"
She brought her own hand up to rest it over his, pressing her cheek into the palm of his hand. "I'm fine. We're fine." Even as Winn made those assurances, the memory of a dream and a child's plea rang in her ears, but she thrust all doubts and uncertainty away, determined to do her part in this. If she trusted Jack to find a way out of this for them, then he needed to be able to trust her – her health, her ability to keep their child safe, her support – just as much. They were partners and the failure of one, the mistrust of one, would be the failure of both.
Jack took her assurances even as she took the one in his eyes. Breaking the gaze, he let his eyes wander down to her belly. "What do you think it is?"
Winn shrugged one shoulder. "I don't know." This was the conversation she alternately wanted and dreaded. This was when she would find out whether or not he wanted a child. He had said things like she should be proud that she was pregnant, that he didn't blame her, and his hands had been incredibly active since then . . . . But she had seen the disbelief in his eyes, the quickly contained combination of anger and guilt. "What do you want it to be?"
His eyes lifted to hers and saw all her fears there. In the past years she had become a good deal more transparent to him, at least where her insecurities and joys were concerned. Now he saw that she feared what he was thinking about their elevating status as a couple. He remembered what the lack of an admission of love had earned him – an errant wife and a side trip halfway across the Atlantic. It might take him awhile, but Jack Sparrow did eventually learn from his mistakes, and letting Winn's uncertainties get the better of her was one he didn't intend on repeating. Burying the hand on her face in her hair, Jack whispered, "I want a little girl who is every bit as headstrong and courageous as her mother. I want to worry about what she's getting up to next and what danger she's courting along the way. I want a dark-haired fury whom I can hand over to you when she's throwing a tantrum so you know how I've felt often enough in the past." Winn pinched him for that one, but her eyes were soft and clearing.
"You want this child?"
Jack pretended to think about it, then drawled with a self-satisfied smirk, "Well . . . it seems as if it may be a little late to return it . . . ." He drew Winn close to him, preparing to kiss her, when they were interrupted by a knock on the door. For a moment they both froze, but then Winn started giggling quietly and Jack started cursing quietly under his breath. Being interrupted in the wooing of his wife was one thing aboard his own ship, but it was intolerable when they were supposed to be two prisoners left in isolation. "And will be what passes for our evening meal."
Winn moved to sit up on the bed, but Jack rolled over on top of her. She tried to protest as the door swung open, but Jack simply whispered, "It was your idea to encourage Gandolfi's erroneous thoughts, remember?" And having said that, he bent his head enough that it looked as if he had paused in the midst of kissing her. He turned his head and watched as one man entered the room, a medium sized tray in his hands. His partner guarded the door, and both men froze as Pige got to her feet and started to growl threateningly. Jack saw that the man at the door was going for his pistol, so he snapped in his 'pirate captain voice,' "Heel, beast." Pige did come over to the bed, allowing the other man to set his burden on the table, but she never stopped growling and never took her eyes off the men.
The two left as sternly as they had come, although as the door shut again, the sound of Italian and course laughter drifted through the gap. Winn blushed at the words, and turned her head when Jack tried to kiss her. Seeing that this was as far as he was going to get in the near future, Jack simply gave her a quick buss before asking, "What were they saying?"
"Exactly what you wanted them to." Winn pushed on his shoulders. "Get up. I'm hungry."
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A/N 3: just wanted to run some baby names past y'all. I really don't want to choose a name that will make the child sound like a Mary Sue. There's no reason to think that Jack and Winn's child would be one when their parents aren't. No boy names in this list since I'm fairly certain that it's nigh impossible to get a Sue-ish name for a guy, but I could be wrong. Feel free to send in suggestions.
It's the girl names that have me in a tizzy. I simply won't stand for a Sue name for a baby girl. It won't happen. There will be no bouncing baby daughter named 'Pearl' or 'Onyx' or 'Liberty.' I'm going to try to avoid clichés like those. Tell me what you think of this list I've compiled. The most liked one might be the one I choose. I don't know.
Names: Alisandra, Bianca, Caitrianne, Diamantina, Eldreonna, Fallon, Galiana, Ileana, Josiane, Kiera, Marieileen, Natalie, Ophelia, Philantha, Riley, Seraphina. Theophila, or Vivienne.
So? What do you think?
Author Thanks: I seriously think that I have some of the best reviewers on this site. Love you all.
VagrantCandy
Mooney
pirate-miss
bobo3
TaraRose
Clover the Sea-Beast – I hope you're feeling better. I'm not sure what to give a sick sea beast to make her feel better, but here's a lovely bouquet of kelp, sea cucumbers, and anemones. : )
Eledhwen
SuzzieQue
lilitaliandragon
EstelWolfe – ok, so I may have been exaggerating the amount of mental distress that the end of chapter 17 was causing me. Normally I'm like, "ok, really want to read the next installment – hurry up." But no, there I was at church, messing around during practice (I run powerpoint) and all of a sudden they heard me on the stage (from my cage in the back of the room) doing my best impression of some who can't breathe. I swear, that your ending had a physical impact on my nervous system. So, perhaps where I wrote 'demoralized' I should have used 'very anxiously awaiting.' Yes. I have been known to make exaggerated use of hyperbole. *nods* Can't believe you're reading this, but glad you are. New reviewer, Woot! You can . . . you can rock my nonexistent PotC calendar, that I would have, should I be able to locate one in time for Christmas. : ) Look forward to further thoughts from you.
Alej
Tierra – so glad to hear from you again! Just the other day I was thinking I should e-mail you and let you know this was up, except I couldn't remember whether or not I saved your e-mail address. I think I did, but I need to double check. Hope all is going well for you and yours. Feel free to drop me a line about anything – love hearing from you. (BTW – here's your 'whoop, whoop!') ; )
jackfan2 – I'm soo sorry to have agitated you to such an extent. It's just that I needed that to happen for later in the fic. (Next chapter should everyone behave according to plan – which they don't always do.) Please don't be too upset with me or Jack. : ( (Didn't think you were serious when you said you'd pass along comments, and found it less likely that anything would speedily come of it. Now I think I know how people feel when they ask me to read and review. But I'm not sure.) What was the first part of your fic again? I think I need to read that before I read your half – otherwise I will be hopelessly lost, because believe it or not, I am a rather ditzy type of person. You know Dory from "Finding Nemo"? I could be her understudy if I could remember any of her lines. I just come out sounding smart on paper.
Kerry – hey! New reviewer! Seriously, I love my reviewers, but it's the new ones that make my day. I am running short of things that people can rock though. Gimme a minute . . . you . . . can rock . . . my . . . Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer snow globe that is actually a X-mas present for someone else, so please don't break it. ; ) Hope to hear from you again. Glad you liked 'Inconvenient' and that you're enjoying this installment of the saga.
