The True story of Goldielocks and the Three Bears.
I know you've heard the story of Goldielocks and the three bears. Your grandma or grandpa may have told it to you. Well they didn't tell you the whole story- you were too young for that. You may still be. But since you took the time to read this, I'll tell it to you. Be warned though- it's not what you think it to be.
Once upon a time (they all start this way), there was a girl named Penelope Davon Sanders. She would not go by any shortening of her name. She was 16, besides, she thought it was quite childish to shorten your name. You must address her as Penelope Davon Sanders at all times. She would bite your head off if you tried otherwise (i.e.a young boy in 3rd grade had once called her Penny-and lets just say-he's still in rehab). There was one exception,though. Her mother called her "Goldielocks".
Since I have much typing to do, I'll call her Penelope, in hopes she'll never read this fine peice of literiture.
Well, Penelope had a long walk home from school. She would often cut through the woods to save time, but she would often get lost-way lost. This time she had gone twenty minutes in the wrong direction, and had stumbled upon a little cottage. Penelope went in. She was a very nosey girl, and it didn't seem that dangerous...
Once inside the little cottage, Penelope saw three plates of spagetti (yes, spagetti) on a table in what seemed to be the kitchen. She suddenly relised she was starving. As she rushed over to the first plate, penelope stopped dead in her tracks. The BIGGEST cockroch she had ever seen was just sitting there, on top of the first plate of spagetti.
"EWW!" Penelope Shreiked. "This spegetti has olives in it! I hate Olives!"
Of all things, olives.
Then Penelope walked over to the second plate. She picked up the fork and kind of stirred the spagetti up, finding not olives, but pickles.
"GROSS!" echoed Penelope's voice throughout the cottage. " I hate pickles, too!"
Almost losing hope, Penelope walks over to the third and final plate. Finding no problems with this plate of spagetti, she sits down and eats it all.
This kind of thing goes on taking Penelope to termite eaten chairs, and beds with fish stuck in between the matresses. She does find a comfortable bed though, and falls asleep instantly.
While this is happening, the owners return to the little cottage in the woods. Three huge Bears (well, 2 huge bears and a medeium sized one) crawled into the house. Of course bears can't talk, but you knew that.
"GRRRR!" Said the first and largest bear. He surely smelt the strong human sent lurking around the home. Quickly, all tree bears galloped upstairs.
What they found, when they got there, was a girl in a bed. Their bed. Boy was that big bear hungry. He dashed to the bedside hoping to get a nice large dinner, but his awful breath woke Penelope up.
"Ahhhh!" Penelope scremed in her girly voice. It stunned the bear long enough for her to get a head start. She ran to the window, threw up the sash, and jumped. She got away all right, but not without sacrifice. The bear had gotten both her sweater and jeans. penelope ran home in her underwear.
(***Corny, I know, But I have a ton of time! Oh- if any poor creature out there really is named Penelope Davon Sanders- I'm terably sorry***)
I know you've heard the story of Goldielocks and the three bears. Your grandma or grandpa may have told it to you. Well they didn't tell you the whole story- you were too young for that. You may still be. But since you took the time to read this, I'll tell it to you. Be warned though- it's not what you think it to be.
Once upon a time (they all start this way), there was a girl named Penelope Davon Sanders. She would not go by any shortening of her name. She was 16, besides, she thought it was quite childish to shorten your name. You must address her as Penelope Davon Sanders at all times. She would bite your head off if you tried otherwise (i.e.a young boy in 3rd grade had once called her Penny-and lets just say-he's still in rehab). There was one exception,though. Her mother called her "Goldielocks".
Since I have much typing to do, I'll call her Penelope, in hopes she'll never read this fine peice of literiture.
Well, Penelope had a long walk home from school. She would often cut through the woods to save time, but she would often get lost-way lost. This time she had gone twenty minutes in the wrong direction, and had stumbled upon a little cottage. Penelope went in. She was a very nosey girl, and it didn't seem that dangerous...
Once inside the little cottage, Penelope saw three plates of spagetti (yes, spagetti) on a table in what seemed to be the kitchen. She suddenly relised she was starving. As she rushed over to the first plate, penelope stopped dead in her tracks. The BIGGEST cockroch she had ever seen was just sitting there, on top of the first plate of spagetti.
"EWW!" Penelope Shreiked. "This spegetti has olives in it! I hate Olives!"
Of all things, olives.
Then Penelope walked over to the second plate. She picked up the fork and kind of stirred the spagetti up, finding not olives, but pickles.
"GROSS!" echoed Penelope's voice throughout the cottage. " I hate pickles, too!"
Almost losing hope, Penelope walks over to the third and final plate. Finding no problems with this plate of spagetti, she sits down and eats it all.
This kind of thing goes on taking Penelope to termite eaten chairs, and beds with fish stuck in between the matresses. She does find a comfortable bed though, and falls asleep instantly.
While this is happening, the owners return to the little cottage in the woods. Three huge Bears (well, 2 huge bears and a medeium sized one) crawled into the house. Of course bears can't talk, but you knew that.
"GRRRR!" Said the first and largest bear. He surely smelt the strong human sent lurking around the home. Quickly, all tree bears galloped upstairs.
What they found, when they got there, was a girl in a bed. Their bed. Boy was that big bear hungry. He dashed to the bedside hoping to get a nice large dinner, but his awful breath woke Penelope up.
"Ahhhh!" Penelope scremed in her girly voice. It stunned the bear long enough for her to get a head start. She ran to the window, threw up the sash, and jumped. She got away all right, but not without sacrifice. The bear had gotten both her sweater and jeans. penelope ran home in her underwear.
(***Corny, I know, But I have a ton of time! Oh- if any poor creature out there really is named Penelope Davon Sanders- I'm terably sorry***)
