Yami's Diary
Chapter 3
By Birdie
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they belong to their original artist, or whichever company that brought them from the original artist. Don't sue.
*Day 5*
Hello, it's me, Yami. I'm continuing to write my diary, just in case I'm to be freed from my damned cage. Yes, that Bakura has outsmarted me and locked me up in a cage made out of reed. Locking the Pharaoh up is a crime worth death; I shall remind him.
When I am free, that is.
If I am going to be freed.
Damn it! Let me out! I feel like a cricket in this cage!!!!
Even worse, I have to share this cage with a skeleton that has not finished moulding yet. Yuck. It's fluids drip everywhere, and the smell is completely unavoidable; it gets into your clothes and everywhere. Absolutely disgusting. I don't know how Bakura can stand it.
Bakura lives in this room inside a tomb at Valley of the Kings. It is wet, smelly and very cramp. Well, it is only cramped because of all the gold objects he has. That tomb-robber has stolen a LOT of gold (no surprises *there*, seeing he has a gold fetish. See chapter 2 for details. Bakura is very strange). There is so many gold objects that if you move even the slightest, something sharp will poke you. How convenient.
As I look around in my cage, I realised it is pitch black. Bakura is sleeping at the moment, so he had shut his lamp. It is so very dark.
Dark......
I couldn't help but sigh. Dark, or Dark Magician is my boyfriend. No, cross that out. Dark is my *soulmate*. He is everything to me, and if anything happens to him, they will face my wrath!!!
.........of course, I can't wrath anyone right now, as I am stuck in a reed cage. BUT WHEN I'M OUT!!! BE PREPARE TO BE--
"MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
What the heck was that?! Oh, it's okay. It's only Bakura, he laughs in sleep. He also says things like "give me the One Ring...." and "Mmmmmmmm....gold...." and "my precioussssss...." while he dreams. I don't understand it, but it's best not to understand Bakura.
Good Ra, I can't believe how cold it is. It must be cold enough to chill wine! Why in my days, we had the boiling hot sun that felt like it was going to cook us any moment! Now look at the temperature nowadays! And in *my* days, we never shut ourselves in a room with no windows or doors!! That was my days for you!!!
Wait, it still *is* my days......ah crap.
I can't believe it. I get shut in a reed cage for a day, and I start talking like my vizier. Good Ra, that's scary.
*Day 6*
It is morning, and Bakura has gone to steal more things. Today, I implored him to keep the lamp on. Okay, I *begged* him. But it's not very nice seeing the Pharaoh beg a tomb-robbed, so I didn't write that. Wait, already did. Okay, I'll just cross that out.
There we go, nice and perfect.
Have to admit, it's very tranquil without Bakura...when he's around, he prances around the room declaring how smart he is. He then shoves all his gold objects in a corner, and jumps on top, and makes a gold angel (like snow angel, but with gold). When he's truly bored, he sits and does his hair. He lives a simple life, but at least there's a lot of things he can do, and the activities are fun.
*My Life* on the other hand, couldn't be more boring. My vizier chases me around the palace 24/7, asking me when I'm going to die so he can build my death tomb. Then you can take over my kingdom, you mean? My vizier is evil and spoilt. My father, the Pharaoh before me, let him do everything he wanted and rule over him. Now vizier thinks he can do that to me. Yeah right, FAT CHANCE.
I swear, the only keeping thing keeping me from getting away from it all (running away, killing vizier, committing suicide. You name it, I've planned it. But no action. Yet) is the thought of Dark. What would he do without me? Dark cannot leave the palace, because it was where he err...appeared (Duel Monsters are not born, nor are they made. They just appear), and he cannot leave the place in which he was assigned to guard. A Duel monster is sent into this world with a mission: to guard a place or a person. Dark has to protect the palace.
Hope nothing bad has happened to Dark. There IS a chance of something hurting him (why am I think about my vizier as I'm writing this...? *suspicious look*), or maybe Maira has attacked. Maira is the Queen of Persia, and she wants to attack Cairo, and maybe Egypt as a whole. I can't leave my brain-dead ministers in charge, because they're either be too scared, too inexperienced or too stupid to do anything.
I can't leave Dark in charge either. I can't bare to think what will happen if he's hurt (VAZIER!!! *more suspicious looks*).
Right, that does it, I'm going back to Cairo to get all this sorted.
......but first, I need a Master Plan to get out of this cage......
*Day Seven*
Ha! I have a master plan! I'm so smart! No one will ever think of anything so smart in a million years before one after my existence! Seriously, why didn't I thought of this sooner? It was like, THERE IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I DIDN'T SEE IT!! Why was I so stupid? Well, I'm smarter now. Maybe the smartest in the entire tomb. The entire city. The entire COUNTRY.
Okay, enough boasting, let me tell you about it.
The plan is (seriously, it rocks), well, basically, Bakura has a girlfriend, the Change of Heart card, right? Well, I thought (go me!), that if I could get her to change Bakura, well, less evil, so he does what I say, then he'll let me go.
Smart, isn't it? ^_^V
Now, to put it to action......
*Day Eight*
Success! I am the greatest genius in the whole entire world!!! I have Bakura under the thumb, LITERALLY.
Basically, I persuaded Bakura to get Change of Hearts to keep me company. First, he refused, but when I used the "a spoonful of sugar, a cup of honey and the barrel of whining" trick, he agreed if it shut me up.
With Change of Heart in my power, it was easy.
As soon as Bakura closed the door, I leaned in to her. "Hey," I said. "You like him, no?"
At first, she ignored me.
So, I tried again. "You want him, don't you? You want him in your power, under you control. You want him doing what you say."
She perked up a little, flipping her hair backwards. I smiled, knowing she was at least listening to me. "It can be easily achieved, you know?" I told her.
How? She seemed to say.
"Give him a change of heart!" I told her, softly, slowly.
She was shocked, her mouth and eyes widened. No! Master Bakura said I was never to use that on him! she cried out silently.
"That's because he's never tried it!" I continued. "Once he's tried it, he won't say no. Ever again."
She looked uncertain. Poor Change of Heart had no idea what to do.
Then, I used the same quote I used to get Dark into bed. "You know," I muttered, half to her, half to an imaginary crowd. "It wouldn't really matter if you did it, because if you get into trouble, I'll get the blame."
That did it. For Dark, he realised he could sleep with me without getting strange looks. For Change, she knew that Master Bakura could not blame her for making him a complete and utter idiot.
So, she went along and did it.
It worked like a dream.
"Bakura!" I called from this awful cage. "Get me out!!"
He nodded, smiling in an unevil way. "Yes, Yami!" he beams, letting me down. I finally got out and stretched my legs. I plan to get out my the cover of nightfall, with Bakura and Change. I need Bakura to fulfil my mission...and Change of Hearts can just tag along.
Suddenly, I could see those two making out behind me.
"HEY! REMEMBER YOU'RE IN PULIC, OKAY?!"
*Day Nine*
Something's backfired in my plan: instead of getting Bakura to listen to me, I have to drag him and Change through the desert to get to the Nile, where we catch the boat. He only listens to Change.
AND TALK ABOUT TEENAGE HORMONES!! ALL THOSE TWO WANT TO DO IS SCREW LIKE BUNNIES!!! I had to stop them every 10 minutes to stop them making out, and ever 5 minutes to stop that dodgy look in their eyes.
In the middle of the desert, there was this man who looked like a girl. He had a key. He said he could see into people's minds. If you pay him a penny, he can go into your mind and dig something out.
I paid him two pennies: one for me, one for Bakura.
I was first. He took the key and shoved it into my head. We closed our eyes and concentrated one our energy.
"What do you see?" I asked him.
He hesitated. "I see lots of doors," he replied. "And it rooms. Most of them are filled with books, other ones are filled with puzzle pieces. I see you are a man who likes logic and knowledge." He stopped. "I see also...The Dark Magician in your mind. He stands in a room, all to himself. And he smiles at you."
"Dark will always be with me." I whispered dreamily.
"You like him, don't you?"
"Of course. He's my soul-mate."
He smiled, taking the key out. Then he inserted it into Bakura's head. They both closed their eyes. The man frowned as if he was seeing something disturbing.
"What is in his head?!" I asked, excited.
There was a pause. Then, "I see...hair gel."
I blinked. "Oh." A paused. "What does that mean then?"
"I have no idea..." he took the key out. "And frankly, I rather not know."
He bid me a happy life, and rushed off in the other direction as fast as he could.
*Day Ten*
I can't wait to get Bakura out of my sights. And Change. I'm on the boat from Valley of the Kings to Cairo, and there are always strange noises coming out of those two's rooms. And it's completely unavoidable, no matter where you go. -_-;;
Yes...very weird noises... can't explain them, though. But it's disturbing, and I know it's from them.
*Day Thirteen*
The trip took longer than I thought, because we were attacked by hippopotamuses, who kept on "head-butting" the boat. It rocked us and nearly overturned us.
"What the hell is happening?!" I shouted, annoyed. "What are those hippos doing?!"
Bakura crawled out of his room, realising something was thumping the bed more than he did. He went to the side and looked down.
"Ah, Yami..."
"What?"
"They're trying to hump this boat." He said simply.
What has happened to this world?! Has everyone gone sex-obsessed!?
~*~
Back in Cairo, and something's changed. There are guards running around, looking for something. I didn't remember ordering guards around the town, or has Maira attacked so soon?
I walked up to them. "What are you looking for?" I asked them.
They saw me, and instantly grabbed me by the arms. "Pharaoh, you're under arrest!!"
I stared at them. "WHAT?! You can't arrest me!! I'm the pharaoh, for Ra's sake!!!!"
But they didn't listen, and they dragged me all the way to the palace.
They carried me to the Great Hall, and I saw my vizier was sitting on my throne!! He had my crown on!! And by his side was my Dark Magician!!!
Dark...oh good Ra, is that a black eye? I stared at him, transfixed. And his lips, they seem swollen and bitten. There were bruises on his neck, and he looked so pale he was almost a shade of green.
"What?" my vizier asked, unchanged. He grabbed Dark and kissed him full on the mouth. My heart stopped. I could see Dark's eyes filled with tears, and he seemed to be in pain or distress. I was expecting him to pull away and slap my vizier.
But to my horror, he didn't. He kissed back.
To Be Continued...
