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What Is To Be

-Twenty-Eighth-

By Annie

2004-01-07

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Buffy woke up the following morning from her body shaking with frost. She was so cold that she could barely get herself to sit up. She could see her breath as it formed a small cloud before her and she frowned. What was this?

Grabbing one of the blankets she wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it closed tight before she even attempted getting to her feet. As she rose, Spike stirred and then she heard his harsh intake of breath as he sat up.

"What's going on?" he asked and she turned her head to him.

He brushed his hands quickly up and down his arms, trying to regain some heat in his icy limbs, and his curls were an untamed mess on top of his head, his eyes still heavy with sleep and his whole appearance quite adorable.

"Where's a camera when you need it," was all the reply he got from the now smirking Slayer before she crossed the floor to the door and disappeared through it.

He blinked, confused, then sighed and began to collect the blankets that were left; pulling them around him the best he could before he rose as well. The windows were all covered with a thin layer of white frost and he squinted as he put one hand against one of the pains and created an opening big enough to peek out through.

He stared at the sight which met him, his mouth falling agape; then he straightened his back and turned to the sound of Buffy reentering the room. She stopped at the sight of his expression.

"You okay?" she asked, putting the clothes she had gotten for herself, from where they still were kept in her "own" room, down on the bed.

"Look outside," he encouraged and she raised her eyebrows before she did as he said, walking up to the window and gazing out on a completely altered world.

"Snow?" she said and Spike nodded. "But it's the middle of May," she disagreed and he nodded again. "Great," she grumbled, throwing the blanket off and walking back up to the bed, grabbing the first pair of the two sweatpants she had gotten and pulling them on; proceeding with the second one she then pulled on two sweaters and a sweat shirt.

Spike watched her with a small smile playing on his lips and once she had finished, as she pulled her hair out from under the hem of the sweaters and then turned to him, he asked:

"Warmer now?"

She returned his smile, then had hers die away as she replied:

"No. But I'd better be - we've got work to do."

"And the white wonderland out there?" Spike wondered.

"What should I do?" she asked. "Call Mother Nature and ask her what she's on? She'd just say mister sir Alliende slipped her something last night and she can't remember a thing." Spike smirked at that. "Get dressed, honey," she added. "Group meeting in ten minutes."

***

The discussion had been on for nearly half an hour. The subject was the past six days and everybody spoke their minds freely. The only one who was keeping quiet and keenly listening was Willow, who had only heard the prophecy in broad, bold strokes last night - all the interesting details had been left out.

"I think we shouldn't rush into anything," Fred said, looking around at the others before she suddenly got a trace of insecurity in her gaze and she added: "Unless, of course, we really have to... since it's the last day and all."

Gunn smiled comfortingly, taking her hand, and she smiled as well before she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I think my girl's right," Gunn spoke up. "What do we know for sure? That Buffy and Angel have to find some well in some cave somewhere, and then what? All we have to go on so far are hunches and something a demon scribbled down hundreds of years ago."

"That's not what I said," Fred disagreed silently. "I'm sure the prophecy is as authentic as it gets and Alliande wasn't just 'a demon' - he was a prophet. He saw the future as it was."

"But Forte said that this 'prophecy' had been talked of amongst his people for a really long time, like some kind of folklore. And this BEFORE Alliende chose to grab a piece of parchment and a goose pen and write it all down," Gunn countered and Fred sighed, having nothing to say to that.

"There's a very real demon just up the stairs," Buffy stated in her stead and Gunn looked at the former as she added: "In case you've forgotten just how real the prophecy is, perhaps you should go upstairs and have a look."

He shook his head, turning his gaze out of the Slayer's and she nodded.

"Good. We all have to remember that this isn't something about to happen - it's happening. Right now. Whether we want it to or not. Satoch expects to break free today. He expects us to fail because he sees himself as invincible now that his time's finally arrived. We're gonna prove to him just how wrong he is. Gunn," she said and the man once again looked at her, "you're right. Hunches and instincts are about all that we're left with. But trust me - mine's yet to fail me. Angel and I are heading out in one hour. We'll see where our instincts take us."

At that they broke for breakfast.

Cordelia nodded to Fred's question if she should make some coffee for the whole gang and then walked up to Buffy, who now had her arms wrapped tightly around Spike's waist and her head leaned against his chest - trying to get access to his body heat, as well as he was wishing to borrow some of hers.

"I can't tell you how much I dislike not even knowing around when we can expect this whole shablam to start," Cordelia muttered and Buffy nodded, then frowned.

"You look really good this morning," she remarked and Cordelia shrugged.

"Yeah... I FEEL really good, actually," she answered and at Buffy's quizzical expression the dark haired smiled sheepishly. "I guess my body's used to the cold," she added and Buffy returned her smile.

"I actually feel better too," Angel stated as he joined them, leaning against the table and crossing his arms over his chest. "The heat's not so overwhelming. Slept like a baby straight through the night for the first time since this illness came over me. Or whatever it is."

"Well, that's... good. Right?" Buffy wondered and Spike smiled.

"Of course it is," he cut in.

"I just wish I knew how I'm gonna stand this cold once we're out of here," she grumbled unhappily. "Nobody told me it was a bring-clothes-for-EVERY- occasion trip."

Spike laughed at that, having her move her head and look up at him.

"We'll find something for you to wear," Angel assured.

"I'll bring out my winter clothes," Cordelia offered and Buffy gave them both a grateful smile.

***

"You nervous?"

Angel turned around and faced Cordelia, who was leaning against the doorpost of his bedroom - where he was going through some of his older belongings and trying to gather his thoughts. He could see the burning need to have what was left to say between them said; it was all over her. In her loosely crossed arms over her chest, in her tight jaw and in her questioning gaze. But most of all it was in the echo of her beating heart, and he wished that he could reach out and place one hand over it; have it vibrate through him.

"No," he then answered her question and she smiled a little before it turned into a frown and she stepped into the room.

"Didn't think so," she tried at keeping the conversation light.

It failed.

He watched her face so intently that she had to look away. Her mind couldn't understand that in less than an hour he was walking out of her life forever. That he'd be gone and there seemed to be nothing she could do about it. She felt helpless in a way she never had before, and she couldn't even touch him.

"I remember the first time we met," she mumbled, still not looking at him and fighting back her tears as they came to a glistening layer over her eyes. "I remember thinking 'There goes the handsomest man I've ever seen'... And then you turned out to be nice and friendly and funny and... completely in love with somebody else."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked with the trace of a smirk on his mouth and she raised her eyebrows, turning her gaze in his. "I wasn't exactly your average scouting material," he elaborated and at that she smiled brightly.

"You had some excess baggage, sure," she agreed and he mirrored her smile. "And yeah, at first it was a bit freaky... Even when we teamed up here it was a bit odd to not see you as just the regular Joe. I mean, between the times you suited up in that... other form. But I know you... now. Now I know you. And I know Angelus has never really mattered when it comes to who you are. He's no side to YOU, he's only a representation of that demon you have to carry around with you. So I don't even have to take him into account, summing you up...Your worth lies in you and you alone. The man that you are. I-..."

He cut her off by stepping up to her and pulling her close to him. She was rigid at first, surprised by his action and anticipating the pain to overcome her as before. Only it didn't. For another few seconds she couldn't understand why, and then she connected the scarce dots and concluded that even with nothing but the fabric of the clothes they were in separating their skin from contact with the other, it obviously was enough.

She relaxed.

Leaning her head against his shoulder her hands slid up his back and she pressed herself closer to him. At the feel of him, the scent of him, and the churning knowledge that he was about to disappear, she couldn't hold back her sorrow any longer. Her sobs were soft, but they ripped at him as he could feel her shoulders shake gently from them.

"Please," he mumbled. "Please, don't do that."

"I can't take this," she whispered, looking up at him as the trails down her cheeks slowly began to freeze.

He put up a hand, pausing his movement right above her skin and having the water thaw and then just as slowly start to dry up. He smiled a little, then brought his hand to her temple and carefully touched her hair before placing the hand back at her left hip.

"There's so much I want you to know," he murmured and she nodded a little.

"Me too," she stated. "Angel, I'm..."

A knock on the doorframe interrupted her and she was about to chew whoever it was' head off right before her eyes landed in Buffy's and she saw the expression in them. They looked not all too unhappy and Cordelia immediately had her craving-of-good-news drenched antennas stand on alert.

"I'm sorry," Buffy apologized as the two before her let each other go reluctantly. "But there came a messenger from Forte just now," she added, stepping through the doorway and bringing one hand out from behind her back, as she finished: "He had this for you."

She reached out her arm toward Angel and revealed the object placed in the middle of her palm - a bottle of nearly the exact same size and shape as the bottle of Ritha, only this one carried no etchings or markings what so ever and it was made of silver.

Angel took it with clear hesitation as he eyed it, then looked at Buffy questioningly.

"What is it?" he asked and she smiled a half smile before replying:

"The note from Forte - and it was short, by the way - said that it's the counter pool to the other bottle. He never realized it until today, when... Well, open it and you'll see."

Angel put a hand up and cautiously pulled the small top off the mouth of the item. Cordelia drew a breath as there was a thin, but undoubtedly visible, ray of bright, white light stretching itself all the way up to the ceiling.

"The note said it started glowing about two hours ago," Buffy stated, continuing: "And then that it stopped, seemingly collecting the light inside instead... He's heard of it, but didn't know it was in his possession. He thought the bottle in question was supposed to look exactly like the other one. Anyway, I know what it's for," she finished and both Angel and Cordelia observed her skeptically, which made her smile again. "We're not supposed to feel out the right moment for you to drink," she picked up her thread again, her eyes in Angel's. "We're supposed to fill this bottle with the blood, and bring it back here. We're supposed to face this, all of us together. And that's the only way of beating it."

***

Spike corrected the borrowed hat Buffy had on her head and she looked up at him with a smile as she pulled her borrowed gloves on. In fact, pretty much everything she was wearing was borrowed from Cordelia. They were all warmer now, having been awake for a few hours and having been on their feet moving around as much as they possibly could during that time. But the world outside promised cold and so Buffy was thankful for all the warmth she could store before having to face it.

The greatest warmth, of course, came from the adored man standing before her.

He seemed slightly nervous. Frightened.

"I'm coming back," she said gently and he glanced up to meet her gaze. "You know that, right?" she added and he smiled.

"Of course," he replied, though he didn't convince her and she pushed away her own fluttering fear from her heart before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him.

"I love you," she whispered and felt how his arms slipped around her as well. "I wouldn't miss our first date for anything in this world, you know that. Not even some bloody demon with delusions of grandeur."

His face nestled into the side of her throat and he held her tighter at that, but she knew he was smiling.

"You'd better come back to me," he then murmured and she swallowed her tears bravely before pulling back and meeting his worried eyes.

"Tell me you love me," she mumbled and he put up one hand by her cheek, brushing his fingers over it softly before he smiled a little again.

"I love you," he then complied, voice as low as hers and then their lips met carefully before they deepened the kiss, unwilling to ever break it again.

Cordelia looked from them to Angel as he pulled on his black coat and then met her gaze. She smiled tryingly and he returned it.

"We all rely on you now," she said, voice soft and he nodded. "I guess you're used to that, though," she added and his eyes turned warmer.

"We'll be back soon," he replied and she swallowed before nodding, forcing on another smile.

"Promise?" she asked and he clenched his jaws together, then nodded as well.

"I promise," he said and she stepped up to him, slipping her arms up and around his neck before she moved even nearer and closed her eyes.

"In case anything happens..." Wesley said tentatively and Angel felt Cordelia's grip tighten. "What should we do?"

"It won't come to that," Buffy replied with conviction; the kiss broken and she slowly let her love go before stepping away from him, her gaze in Wesley's. "Just sit tight, we'll be back before you know it," she added, looking at Spike who held her eyes in his with intensity.

She pushed away the small shiver of displeasure down her spine at the prospect of what she might be about to face, what demons might be waiting for them out there. Then she smiled one of those bright smiles which she knew that man of hers adored seeing on her before she turned and headed for the door.

"Be careful," Willow called after her and she looked back at her with reassurance not to fret.

The determination to get the mission over and done with, so that she truly could be back at the hotel as soon as possible, took over easily and she welcomed it.

Angel watched Buffy go, then looked at Cordelia.

She smiled a small smile again, and he held her gaze for another moment before he turned and followed in Buffy's footsteps.

Cordelia's heart was heavy with anxiety and when she glanced at Spike she knew he understood her perfectly as the door of the Hyperion closed behind the Slayer and vampire.

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Gosh, I didn't expect these chapters to be so late! Really, you MUST believe me! Life and life alone has gotten in the way this time. Also, it's always like this when there's only a few chapters left of a story. I really distaste saying good-bye to it! I apologize time and again for the sucker that I am, the idiot and schmuck, and ardently beg your forgiveness! The next chapter will be up on Tuesday. I know this for a fact, unless the world actually ends before then or all the computers in this country for some inexplicable reason stops working.

Big, huge, warm, special thanks to blackeyedgurl (Aw. *smile* Oh no! I hope you're better now! *sending very healthy vibes from here!*) :), wolf116 (hey, cool that you liked, and I'm glad you're enjoying where I'm taking the plot! Hah! So funny about the DVD, and I know - it's a mesmerizer, isn't it? I adore Intervention! So funny! But the whole Out Of My Mind episode is funny too! And naturally Fool For Love... Ah, heck, I could go on for ten pages.) ;), Winters1 (SORRY, I know this wasn't soon enough. But I hope you still liked and next chapter, I promise I'll do better time-wise for next chapter!) :), Anna (good to see you again. Heheh. Sorry 'bout driving you crazy and I'd say there should be about two or three more chapters. And Fred and Gunn are very much a couple, I'm sorry I've had them participate so little in this story!) :), darklover (thanks and sorry this was late!) :), lilmamaday (SO great to read your review, girl. Thanks a lot! You had me smiling very widely. Okay, I admit it, I was jumping up and down on my chair! ;) Thanks for wonderful comments and I'm so happy that you like it! So sorry that this is SOOO late and please, please, please tell me there has been no withdrawal pertaining my tardiness! *quiver!*) ;) and timeends (thank you!) ;)

To all, I luv ya, I luv ya, I luv ya and I would never not submit a chapter intentionally. Curse these ten hour shifts at work! (though not all through 'cause I need the money!!!) :)

Take care and I hope to hear from you as we round this journey up together!

All My Love, Annie.