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What Is To Be

-Twenty-Ninth-

By Annie

2003-01-11

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The blanket of snow was close to blinding white as it reflected the bright sun in the sky and covered everything as far as their eyes could see. Buffy pulled the jacket she was in tighter around her before she began to wade out into the glittering dunes. Stopping after only a few paces she turned to her companion, who was looking at something right before his feet and seemed quite taken by it.

"What?" she asked and he looked up, then moved his arms and pulled his coat off. "What are you doing?" she added as he let it fall around his feet.

"I can't... explain it," he answered and then he began to move forward, towards her.

She furrowed her brow questioningly, watching him as he got closer and then her eyes widened when he made his way passed her. The snow melted an inch or so before him and in its wake it was gone completely, creating a perfect path for her to follow in.

"What the...?" she murmured, then tentatively stepped out of the heap of cold she was in and began to walk behind him instead.

As the fascination of what was going on with him began to wear off she started to pay attention to the world around her. The stillness was what hit her the most. Everything was cushioned. There was no noise, no wind, no shouts or laughter, no traffic, no life. Just an ivory wave of silence. And everything was so clean, so sparkly. It was as though Mother Nature had put on her most precious gown and decided to show it off in all its splendor. And there was nothing for anyone to do but thoroughly admire it.

Buffy suddenly smiled to herself at a memory from another time when she had been walking through a snow covered land with the vampire before her. Then they had been holding hands and known nothing of what their true fate would be. God, so much had changed since then. And still she loved him, she cared for him, and felt happy to walk through the magical change of the country with him. Happy that he was there with her, and that she didn't have to go in search of the Hellmouth on her own.

"You know, it feels a bit like old times," she said and he stopped, turning his head to look at her over his shoulder.

"It does," he then agreed, smirking. "I'm glad you're here."

She smiled back.

"I'm glad you're here too," she replied and his smirk widened, then he looked ahead again and started up their walking. "So... you and Cordy? I mean, you looked like you're actually making progress when I came knocking earlier..."

"'Came knocking'?" he interrupted sarcastically. "I'd say you barged in at the most inappropriate moment. Literally."

"Said I was sorry," she pointed out and he gave her another glance before he laughed softly.

"I don't know if I wanna discuss Cordelia with you, Buff," he then admitted and she smiled.

"Fine, I'll hear it all from her then, I've gotten everything from that source so far," she teased and he stopped again, turning to face her. "What?" she asked, innocently. "Girls talk with each other, unlike MEN. AND vampires, it seems."

"I talk," he countered. "It's just... strange. I see you with Will and... it's great. I'm happy for you. Both of you! Still... it's strange. Part of me will always love you, you know that."

"And part of me will always love you," she agreed. "But you being happy for me now means everything to me. I'm happy for you. It's strange, yes, I have to agree that it's a bit weird seeing you with Cordelia; knowing that you met her around the same time as you met me... But it's... fate. Can't tamper with that."

He suddenly looked regretfully sad and she felt a growing lump in her throat as she remembered.

"Angel..." she tried, but he shook his head.

"If I get into this with you I'll go crazy. It's enough seeing what it's doing to her. I know what I have to do, Buffy. I can't rationalize my way out of it, can't change it, can't even TRY to tamper with it. Let's leave it at that."

She was about to say something, but then let his words sink in and kept her mouth shut.

"Did you tell her?" she asked instead, and he sighed.

"As fate would have it, there wasn't time," he grumbled and she reached out a hand to place it on his arm.

"You will," she said.

"No," he disagreed. "I HAVE to. She has to know."

After another moment he turned around and began walking once more. She wasn't late to follow. They continued their journey passed blocks of buildings, onto the vastness of the beach. The ocean closest to shore was covered with ice, but farther out it was billowing in steel-gray.

They had been going for nearly fifteen minutes when Buffy asked:

"Do you have any idea where we're headed?"

There was a slight pause and then he answered:

"Not really. But trusting my 'instincts' I'd say we're on the right track."

"Right," she nodded. "What if our instincts malfunction? What if magic gets into the game and sends us on a wild goose chase?"

"Does anyone use that expression these days?" he asked and she gave him a shove in the back before replying:

"I'm serious! What if we're completely...?" her eyes landing on something glowing in the quilt of white, not far ahead, cut her sentence short.

"We're not," Angel simply said before he held up the silver bottle, which he had kept in his hand ever since they started walking. "It's been leading the way."

***

"Hey," Spike said, standing in the doorway of Willow's room and having the Wicca look up from the page in the book she was currently studying.

"Hi," she replied with a smile.

"I'm not disturbing you, I hope," he said as he entered the room and she shook her head, putting the book down on her lap and watching him as he came to sit to the side of her on the edge of the bed.

"Interrupting," she then admonished and he smirked before she continued: "but not disturbing."

"So... what do you think?" he asked with a gesture to the book, which happened to be Wesley's very detailed journal on the prophecy.

"About Wesley's handwriting?" she quipped and the blonde laughed, shaking his head. "About the contents?" she therefore wondered and receiving a nod, she sighed. "I'm not sure. It's so dark and depressing all of it. Hasn't anything good happened over the last six months that can at least give me one speck of belief that we'll be able to beat this one?"

Spike smiled at that, then he replied:

"Buffy came. Sent from heaven with the choirs singing their hallelujah's. And then you came, accompanied by nothing less."

She smiled a small smile back, looking a little taken by that statement.

"I think I'm starting to understand how you could have such an affect on Buffy when you did," she remarked wryly and he smirked.

"I had my ways," he replied. "But you can't blame it all on me. She was weak after the whole death-going-to-Heaven thing, and on top of that she did kiss me first."

Willow's eyes suddenly kindled with real interest and she leaned forward a little.

"She did?" she then inquired and Spike cocked an eyebrow. "I've never heard the story of when hate couldn't separate the two of you anymore," she explained. "I mean, for a year she's been... absent. And before then... Well, you were around and I couldn't exactly go 'Oh, and by the way, Buffy. What ACTUALLY happened between the two of you?' while she was dealing with you and the souled bit of you and, before then there was the way you just left her and she wouldn't even mention you, so that wasn't a good time either and... Would you just tell me? Please?"

He simply looked at her for the most grueling five seconds and then he smiled.

"You sure you wanna know?" he asked and she nodded, trying not to look too eager. "Do you think she'd mind if I told you?" he then stopped himself and Willow blinked, then answered truthfully:

"No. I really don't."

He drew a small breath.

"Well, I guess it all really started with this dream I had. Let's just say it woke me up to one or two truths..."

***

Angel and Buffy stopped at either side of the hole from where the glow had been coming. It was still there, glistening around the edges and straight down seemed to be the source of the light because it was nearly hurtful to try and look into the brightness of the gape. The opening was a little less than a yard in diameter and Buffy looked up at the vamp, who held her gaze and then nodded.

They knew what they had to do.

Question was if it really was such a good idea.

Guess we'll see, Buffy thought as she took a small step closer to the edge.

Suddenly there was something pulling at her, feeling as though a thousand small arms were wrapping tightly around her and dragging her forward and before she knew it - she was falling.

She couldn't hear Angel's voice, but knew he called her name. Then she hit the ground. It wasn't painful, though she could feel the impact and the hardness of rock beneath her. She even noticed how her head got thrust into the ground mercilessly and when she opened her eyes the first thought that came to her was that she shouldn't be able to.

That she should be dead, or at least in a coma. That her brain shouldn't be functioning after a hit like that. Only it was, and since the second thing her eyes took in - apart from the fact of her being in a cave that looked much too familiar - was a well in the cave floor from which a beam of light was stretching into the ceiling, she didn't think more of the fact that she shouldn't be alive.

She slowly sat up, feeling her heart racing with adrenaline in her chest and then remembering...

"Angel."

She looked around, her eyes landing on his form merely a few feet away and she got on her hands and knees, crawling over to him. Right before she reached him he made a small noise and rolled over on his back.

"Am I dead?" he murmured as she was at his side and when he opened his eyes she smiled widely. "'Cause it sure feels like it," he filled in before sitting up with a painful grimace. "What is this place?"

"My dream," she replied matter-of-factly. "It's weirding me out seeing it like this, but this is exactly what it looked like. God, I'm thirsty..."

Her eyes widened slightly at that statement.

She really was thirsty.

She didn't think she ever had been so thirsty.

It felt like her throat was digging to get out through her neck and she put a hand up by it as she leaned forward, fighting for air.

"Buffy?" Angel asked, obviously growing worried.

"I need... have to..." she tried to reply, but started coughing instead.

Suddenly her gaze fell on the glittering water in the well.

Yes.

Just a little drink.

A mouthful; she knew it would be enough.

She began dragging herself toward it, disregarding Angel's repetitive questioning of what she was doing.

Just a little drink.

She reached the water's edge and felt her heart leap with joy and triumph. Soon the clawing pain would be nothing but a memory...

A memory...

She stared into the blank surface. She could feel the coolness of what lie just beneath it. Could taste it slipping over her tongue. And then she heard it. The memory. Of her sister's voice in her dream, as it whispered:

"It's poison to you."

Buffy pulled herself back, startled. Crawling backwards she then stopped nearly ten feet from the well and drew a shaky breath.

A trap.

Her thirst was already evaporating, the pain was already being soothed out.

"You okay?" Angel asked to her left and she turned her head to him, then smiled weakly.

"Yeah," she answered him. "Now I am."

Angel nodded, then turned his eyes on the well again. Buffy did the same. They both rose to their feet as there began to be slow ripples on the surface of it. Buffy came up to join at Angel's side and they both took a step closer, watching as something dark began to mix with the clearness of the liquid; the light from below being shut out.

"Is that...?" Angel asked and Buffy, practically holding her breath, nodded slowly.

"Yup... 'The Heavens shall cry tears of blood'," she then mumbled as the blood was pushing the water away, taking its rightful place as possessor of the well.

The process was quick and soon thick crimson was all there was to be seen.

Angel brought out the bottle from one pocket and opened the lid. The thin ray of light inside was still present and the silence surrounding them seemed to bid the task to be ceremonial and filled with awe at what they were doing.

Buffy swallowed, not sure why, but her senses were all on attention as she watched Angel walk up to the edge and carefully get down on one knee. He glanced at the object in his hand before he gripped it tighter and then brought it toward the slowly moving waves. He paused for a moment, then brought his hand into the liquid. When he brought it back up the light was smothered in the bottle, just as in the well, and he put the top back on firmly as he rose to both feet, turning toward the Slayer with a rather relieved expression.

She knew precisely how he felt.

"Okay," she nodded. "Let's go."

He turned toward the opening through which they had come, and then they both turned their eyes in the other's.

"How do we get out of here?" Angel was the one who voiced their mutual concern and Buffy was about to offer a reply when there was a very distant sound which cut her off.

Angel had heard it too.

They turned their heads to the large crack in the far wall, seemingly serving as an entrance and Buffy recognized it to be the place through which she had come in her dream. So, she could only deduce that beyond that crack lay vast, un-chartered territory of passageways, more caves and Hellmouth.

And that sound... a scratching noise... she had heard it before.

It had been following her in her dreams, but it had never shown itself.

She swallowed now, looking at Angel again and seeing the questions in his eyes. She clenched her jaws together, then reached back and grabbed the stake she had tucked there. Bringing it out she said:

"Get ready."

Angel stared at her, then at the weapon, before he brought one hand up behind his neck and grabbed the sword which he had hanging in its sheath on his back. Pulling it out the slow sound of metal against metal was all that was heard.

The stillness told of something not being right, Buffy could feel it in the air all around them.

And then there was the loud cry of something not even close to human.

This time it sounded close.

Very close.

***

Willow turned her head and looked out the dirty glass of the one window in her bedroom. Spike stopped talking, his smile fading as he saw the expression on the Wicca's face.

"Did you hear that?" she asked and he frowned, shaking his head a little as she moved to sit straighter, seemingly still listening.

There was a small sliver of chilled goose-bumps down his spine as he was able to interpret her behavior and he took a breath as he realized that something was terribly wrong.

"It's Buffy, isn't it?" he asked, his voice breaking as Willow's eyes began to grow black. "Willow..." he tried to reach her, but she got off the bed in the next instant with a sharp breath and he felt his heart begin to race with fear at what she was seeing.

"No," she whispered. "Oh, no."

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Hey all! A promise is for once a promise actually fulfilled, and I hope you liked this chapter. The fact that the Spuffiness will be bagged for the upcoming few chapters is something I hope most of you are okay with. This story is one of those that also incorporate a deeper story line than just the former vampire's and the Slayer's relationship, and I really hope most of you are enjoying that as well! Thanks for all the positivity!

Special thanks to winters1 (Hehe, I'm glad you liked it! And hey, thank YOU for all your great reviews! I wish I could get out there more, but most of the time, there is no time! Anyways, I'm glad that you're glad!) ;), wolf116 (Aw, really? Cool. :) Haha, you think, huh? Well, all I know is that I detest S4! The story line is very cool, with the whole military trying to butt in deal, but I cannot STAND Riley, as said before. Well, in a way I must agree that S5 is the best season, but in another way it's not... I think you know in what ways.) :), lilmamaday (oh, dear! Well, at least this chapter was a lot quicker, right?) :P and timeends (Well, I really do hope that you can overlook the lack of Buffy and Spike and everything! ;) No, but really, I know that sometimes that's really all you wanna read and I get the feeling, but this story really deals with a lot more than just bringing them together, so as I stated in the first paragraph I hope that you're liking that aspect of it as well!) :)

Thank you ALL and I'll see you soon!

A.M.L, Annie.