CLOUD'S LETHAL HAIRDO-FINAL FANTASY SEVEN

Cloud: look at this!

(Everyone looks)

Tifa: what is it this time?

Cloud: it's a new hair gel! It says "make your spikes spikier!"

Red XIII: more hair products? Gee, I'm not surprised if you've used up all
our savings on 'em

Cloud: ........... I'm gonna go and try it out (runs into bathroom. There is a
lot of loud thumps and cursing. Soon cloud comes out again with bleeding
fingers)

Everyone apart from cloud: .........

Cloud: uh...well it does what it says on the bottle-

(Suddenly armed men run in)

1st man: this is a hold-up!(points gun at Aeris)

Aeris: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

(Cloud draws sword and runs towards the group of men. As he does so he
trips over and his hair collides with the man's chest and the man dies)

Other men: quick leg it! (They run off)

Cait Sith: that was um, interesting ....

Sephiroth: oh my darling Aeris! Are you ok?

Aeris: RIGHT, THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GONNA DIE!! CLOUD, GIMME YOU'RE SWORD!!!!

(Cloud hands it over)

(Aeris starts chasing Sephiroth round the room. Sephiroth crashes into
cloud and dies)
Aeris: cloud...you killed him...THAT WAS MY JOB!! I HATE YOU!! (Raises sword
and tries to stab
Cloud. He head buts Aeris and she dies)

Tifa: CLOUD!! Wash that stuff out of your hair-NOW!!

Cloud: no! My hair looks good like this!

Tifa: o-k we're gonna have to do this the hard way-Cid, Barret, Vincent!

(Cid, Barret and Vincent drag cloud into the bathroom- kicking and
screaming his lungs out)

Cloud: noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(A few minutes later cloud comes out of the bathroom, hair completely blood
red)

Tifa: let me check if you washed that stuff out ( feels cloud's head. She
loses so much blood that she dies)

Red XII: oh man

Cait Sith: Yuffie is so lucky she's not here-

Red XIII: hey Cloud you don't look so good .......

Cloud: (points at Cait Sith) oooh look a comfy chair!

Cait Sith: oh no...

(Cloud sits on Cait Sith)

Red XIII: all this killing must of drove him insane.....

(Cait Sith dies)

(Yuffie enters)

Yuffie: hey evero- what's all this red stuff on the floor?

(Cloud advances on red)

Red XIII: it's a long story but I won't be around long enough to tell
you...(Red XIII dies)

Yuffie: cloud, what the hell is going on?!

Cloud: well you are the last one guess I'll have to kill you as well (he
laughs evilly)

Yuffie: cloud don't you dare-(Yuffie dies)

Cloud: (looks in mirror) mirror mirror I'm not dead
Why the hell is my so red?