One Big Battle Coming Up
The mutants and Joes looked in horror as Lorna and Lucas tore into the soldiers from the compound. Several were killed instantly. "That boy of yours certainly didn't inherit his temper from you!" Roadblock told Xavier, who had been monitoring things from the sidelines in his hoverchair.
"Lucas, why are you doing this?" Xavier asked.
"Because it's fun," Lucas laughed. "And it will teach these cretins a lesson!"
"Be grateful we're not going after your humans," Lorna told him as she calmly tied up some soldiers with their own weapons and flung them into a wall. "For now."
"As much as I'd love to see them get trashed we can't let you do that!" Rogue flew up to them.
"Try it sister!" Lorna growled.
"Allow me!" Lucas grinned as he sent a telekinetic blast at Rogue. "Now the real fun begins…"
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"This was a bad idea!" Scatty groaned as the second group of mutants fought in the back of the compound. "I should have went with Caliban and Thornn!"
"Why didn't you go with them then?" Joanna spat.
"Because those mutants work with humans," Scatty told her. "Humans that are in the army! Sorry but two bad experiences are enough for me!"
"Well it's going to be worse if we don't get out of here!" Andrew told her as he pummeled a guard.
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(Red Witch walks out and sees several characters lying around playing cards.)
RW: Hey what are you guys doing?
Sabertooth: We're on strike!
Mystique: You hardly used us at all in this fic!
RW: Look that's just the way it's going for now okay? And what about you? Don't you guys have a big scene coming up?
(Magneto and Lucas are playing darts.)
Magneto: Not that big.
Lucas: Yeah especially the way you've been writing us lately! The action scenes are way too short!
RW: I've told you I have trouble writing action sequences! And it's at the end of the fic! I'm kind of drained!
Magneto: Yes you're focusing on all the other fics you want to write instead of paying attention to this one!
RW: Look will you two just get back out there and fight huh?
Lucas: Make us.
Magneto: I'd like to see you try.
RW: Two words: Broadway Musicals…
Lucas: Oh look at the time! Seems I'm late for my big battle scene!
Magneto: Yeah I'd better get going too…
RW: The things I gotta do to keep my muses from revolting on me. Sorry for the delay folks. But….(Todd walks in.) Now what?
Todd: Uh Red, the scene kind of caught on fire…
RW: Oh for the love of…
Todd: But I can tell you what happened! First Summers sends off a laser blast! ZZAPP! But Polaris creates a shield and then sends a whole bunch of spears at him! WHOOSH!
RW: Unbelievable…Where does she get the spears in the first place?
Todd: She made 'em out of the weapons, duh! Then Tabitha tries to use her time bombs to blow them out of the sky! KABOOM! But it doesn't work! Then the Joes try to fire their lasers! RATTATATTATATATT! KAPOW! But that don't work! And Legion sets off a huge fireball that goes KABLOWW! (He is now hopping around acting it out.)
RW: (Looks at the readers) This is what I have to deal with folks.
Todd: The X-Men and Joes team up with the Misfits outside to try to fight 'em! Pow! Kablam! Whap! Zap! Lighting flashes! Bullets roar! Walls explode! LIGHTNING, FIRE, FLOODS! SMOG! IT'S A CATASTROPHE I TELL YA! A CATASTROPHE!
RW: It certainly is…Let me take a wild guess, you ate some butterflies recently didn't you?
Todd: AND THEN THE VAMPIRES FROM OUTER SPACE ATTACK! THEIR COFFIN SHAPED SPACESHIPS ARE SUCKING THE LIFEFORCE OUT OF THE PLANET!
RW: Okay that's going a little too far!
Todd: THEN A FLYING GODZILLA APPEARS AND STARTS TO EAT THE VAMPIRES! CHOMP! CHOMP!
RW: Okay I need some tranquilizers out here now please!
Todd: AND THEN THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION COMES TO THE RESCUE RIDING FLYING MOTORCYCLES! VROOM! VROOM! BUT THEN ATTLIA THE HUN AND DRACULA STAGE A COUNTER ATTACK…
RW: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF 'EM? HANK HAD HOW MANY? WHERE IS MY MALLET?
(It turns out Todd is swinging it around.)
Todd: POW! POW! POW!
RW: GIVE ME BACK MY MALLET YOU LOON!
(She starts chasing him around. Todd is laughing maniacally.)
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Scott: Hello. Due to the author's imagination going out of control…again, We will have to cut out this exciting scene. Figures. I had a few good shots in it too. You the loyal readers will have to settle for this…whatever it is. Apparently at the last minute Xavier and Jean double-team Lucas at the last second with their psychic powers, but then he and Lorna fly off. Seems they were some kind of distraction while Magneto…
Jean: Oh it figures she'd cut out my scene!
Scott: Jean not now. Let's just get through this and…
Jean: No! I am not gonna drop it! She just can't leave things hanging like that! It doesn't make any sense!
Lance: Since when does anything RW writes make sense? Relax. It's only fanfiction. Enjoy the ride.
Jean: Easy for you to say since you have nearly all the great lines!
Lance: Hey! You had some pretty good scenes in this too glory hog!
Jean: One or two! You and the Misfits hog the spotlight all the time!
Scott: Here we go again…Quick let's get back to the story! Please! Before this fic gets even more out of control than it is now!
(Red Witch chases Todd with an even bigger mallet.)
Lance: Kind of late for that…
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"Well all that's left now is the mopping up of these guys," Roadblock remarked as the remaining soldiers from the compound tried one last stand after Lorna and Lucas had been driven away.
Suddenly several SHEILD helicopters appeared. "THIS IS SHEILD!" Fury's voice could be heard. "DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND SURRENDER!"
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Pietro: Oh yeah there's an easy out!
RW: SHUT UP! (Waves the mallet around.) YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME? HUH? DO YA?
Pietro: Hey guys are you sure Beast ate all those tranquilizers?
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"Well here we are again," Fury said. "All of you right in the middle of things."
"Yeah and as usual we're cleaning up your mess," Logan remarked. "Great! Could you bring in even more helicopters Fury?"
"Hey those aren't ours," Fury said.
"They're not ours either," Roadblock commented. "THOSE ARE NEWS COPTERS!"
"Oh great just what we need at the end of a battle," Low Light remarked. Dozens of news vans were coming up towards them.
"Where the hell did all these reporters come from?" Fury spat.
"Hey look at all the news helicopters," Fred pointed to the sky.
"We already said that Blob," Pietro groaned.
"Great! There's no way we can cover this up!" Fury groaned.
"Well this is another fun mess," Todd grumbled.
"That is the understatement of the year," Fury snapped.
"Oh yeah," Bobby pointed. "Look at that!"
They saw Lance carrying out Angelica. She was wearing only a lab coat. "Hey Lance found a looker!" Todd pointed.
"It's not what you think!" Lance shouted.
Kitty was starting to fume. "Yeah Lance, right!" She was dragging along Dr. Gombell who was tied up and looked very beaten.
"I knew I should have stayed in bed today…" Dr. Gombell groaned.
I know how you feel pal! Coming up…more stuff. Once I get my imagination under control!
