Rating: Shonen-Ai

Normalcy

Standard disclaimers apply.

Notes: Ryo's POV

By Dementia_12


It had been about three months since the intimate part of our 'relationship' was officially severed.

It was my doing. In my heart, I know the words I had said at the time were harsh and hasty yet I felt a sense of rightness in them. This break was right. I was right. This was what it should be like - the road to normalcy would only begin by breaking the masquerade of affection Dee and I have fooled ourselves into.

After my parents were murdered, I persevered with the dream of a happy family of my own one day. Nothing could bring the McLain family of once upon a time back together again but I wanted to do my best in building a new family life when I became old enough. A wife, two kids, maybe a pet if no one had allergies…that had been one of my enduring goals and I was almost there.

All that was missing was the perfect partner, the perfect spouse - my wife.

Life went on steadily for me and it appeared that Dee eventually found his track as well. Our partnership had tentatively solidified into the well-oiled, sexless machine I had first expected it to be when I had arrived at the 27th precinct, in what seems so long ago.

Mentally, I was a bit ill-prepared for when it started. "It" being the cavalcade of attractive people that would surface in front of Dee's desk at the end of a day. It wasn't everyday of course but when the criminals of New York slowed down enough to let us get off work at a decent hour, Dee never left the precinct by himself.

The gossips of the department were all over our 'separation'. In every piece of news related to Dee, they would make sure I would hear it. Their waspish voices seemed to carry over the din and pierce my eardrums.

According to their dubiously credible sources, Dee had reverted to his old ways. I didn't think of just how… promiscuous his behaviour may have been in the past. Though his taste in his companions couldn't be faulted. Each person that waited for him with zealous eyes was uniquely captivating and with Dee by their side, the ever-changing pairs were passionately luminous. I often felt my eyes sting from their brightness.

Otherwise, I was unfazed. All of us were happier with this turn of events. Even if Bikky made poorly-disguised inquiries about Dee, even if Carol quietly advised him to invite a certain someone to dinner sometime, this was better. Much better.

Much more normal.

I mean, so what if my eyes intermittently stray to him at work? Does that prickling in my eyes in the middle of the night signify anything, other than perhaps my eyes are a bit dry? If my hands should involuntarily close into fists, my throat become parched, my vision blurry, my heart thumping crazily every single time Dee smiles coyly at someone who isn't me…that hardly means I made a mistake.

Maybe this is what normal feels like.

And when I overhear Dee whisper to Ted and Drake that he thinks he might be falling in love with another man several months later…and I feel like I've lost something precious that I never really allowed myself to have…

…that's normal, right?



~Owari~