Chapter A special Promise
Warning~ rape, slash, yada yada yada don't flame me about the m/m
Disclaimer~ I don't own it.
Thank you to ~ My beta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MiStReSsduEnVy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And
Response
IMPORTANT NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was very discouraged to find this review in my review box thingy
English rules aside, the most grevious error in your fiction is that of characterization. You have made Commodore Norrington into the villain. He is not. Norrington is an honorable, decent man who stepped aside so that the woman he loved might marry the man she loved - despite the fact no one besides Will and Elizabeth would have held it against him. Norrington would never kidnap and torture the man that, as an officer of the Navy, he is sworn to protect. Nor would he see that man raped. Ever.
Unless you explain Norrington's sudden shift in character (cranial wound, demonic possession, I leave it to you), your fic will always remain in the rubbish heap - no matter how you repair your grammar.
This review has been brought to you by the Norrington Defense League.
Now I am a reasonable person I really am but I have to wonder does anyone eles find this review odd? I mean is it not my right as a writer to change and sift attitudes of the Characters? In the movie Will was not gay yet in my story he is. So I think it mean and also chilish to send this to me. If Norrington is evil and you don't like it just don't read my story there is nooo need to send this to me. I also laughed at this and maybe others will too. So I hope you all have read this and understand that reviews like this are not appreciated nor acceptable. I take Constructive criticism but this review right there was trash.
NOW TO PPL WHO REVIEWS Are DECENT
nati ~ Beef? As in cow? @_@ er odd review but thank you.
Lissa14~ Thanks and for future reference I take forever to update.
Jack Scarlett~ Thank you for reviewing. ( I would not throw the softball at him some odd person might review you and tell you to be nice to him......)
Karasu Mouri~ I have to say you're my favorite reviewer. I enjoy getting helpful criticism it is useful. Now I understand what your saying about the woman doctor but she wasn't really a doctor but more of ~_~ cant think of the name for it at the moment. But most women did not become doctors but many had family remedies and in colonies out side of England and major parts doctors were not always around so Women who are taught family things and common things like setting broken things were most common. I do have one beta but the more the merrier for my biggest problem is that in being dyslexic I do have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. So two is better and if the offer is still up I would gladly take it. Alex ~ Hey thanks for the review but no need to be rude. If my grammar bothers you that much don't bother reading my story. But thank you for your advice.
Anonymous~ Thanks and I will try and work on my story.
AND HERE ARE THE PPL WHO I WILL GIVE LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES TO MMMMWAAAAA
Pervy Elf-Fancier yamiyugis-girl Vidalark Greenleaf's Daughter, normal human being, Karen The Great and Mighty Froggy Morten sammy-mackie Elizabeth Swan Gwendellen Snape Ice Queen Serenity Grey Elven-Eyes -Joce Lissa14 Jessyka Chibi-Tomi Sh'arra Rie LittleDragonQueen Curious Dream Weaver Severa Snape melie Nieni Woodland FireDragon1187 Dragon Mage 13 Montey
Looking up into Jacks eyes and he gave me a look of utter horror mixed with
anger. How could have I forgotten I was not talking to just anyone; I was
talking to Jack who was my friend and at one time was my lover. "Jack I am
sorry. Thank you for helping me and I do accept your offer."?
Jack looked up at me as if I had just asked him to marry me. Then that
usual smirk that seemed to hang around his lips appeared and Jack replied.
'Of course ye come in wi me. I had no intention of leaving ye behind. I
would have dragged you kicking and screaming to my ship whether you wanted
to or not."
Then I started to laugh a sound that was foreign to me. I had not laughed in
so long. This is what I needed. A comical pirate and the wide open sea was all I needed.
Jack insisted that we had to leave early so I just took my bearings and left. We didn't head right for the sea but in fact stopped at numerous tailoring shops. Jack insisted that I needed new clothes and that I needed them right now. In the end I got many loose white tunics and one maroon tunic that Jack insisted upon. He bought me many pairs of pants as well as a black cloak. Jack was ready to go boot shopping but thankfully he said we didn't have enough time for we had to pick
up someone at the treasure trove.
When we reached the port I looked and saw the Pearl, it's flags waving at me
as if to say hello. I stepped on board and received many hearty hellos. Gibbs
was even so bold as to come up to me and whisper. I told ye lass's were
unlucky!" ? I chuckled at seeing that the old man was as drunk as always. Cotton said hello as best he could but was interrupted by Jack who started to tell me about the person who we were going to pick up.
"He is an old friend from Singapore. Apparently an unknown Pirate has started to go after other pirate ships and so we are going to tip off the British and then use them to scare the pirate out into the open. Then three pirate ships are going to blow them to bits and pieces."
While he had been talking Jacks hand started to feel its way down my back
and when it went to cup my bum I moved so it looked as if I wanted to talk to
Cotton. Jack was to smart to fall for it. He took my hand and brought me to
his cabin. It was filled with windows and was very, very spacious. I sat
down in his comfortable chair because I knew it would irritate him. Jack
gave me a quick glare and then grinned evilly. Instead of commanding me to lift myself off his chair he (or something like that..) just turned around and sat down
right on my lap. A blush appeared on my face. All I could think was what
was he doing? Then Jack spoke to me with his most seductive voice. "Now
mister Turner you may think that you no longer love me but I promise you
this: I will make you mine!"
After that Jack swept to give me a kiss. I attempted to turn my head but Jack still
pecked my cheek. He got up, walked away and when he opened the door of his
cabin he winked at me and told me that my cabin was next to his. I can't
help but think he planned this.
Its been an hour since Jack told me that he would make me his. I have
thought over everything we had done and yet I still don't know whether or
not I wish to be his. Of course our love for each other was great at one
time but now what would Jack want from me. I am not worth anything
even to a pirate.
"Will? Will? Where are you Will?" The slurred voice was no other than Mr.
Gibbs. I walked out of the cabin and smiled at the sight Gibbs made. He had
Jack slung over his shoulder and looked like a hunch back. His hat was
color filled and tipped to the side. Wait strike that it appears his hat is
none other than Cottons Parrot passed out maybe even dead lying upon
Gibbs's balding head.
"I am right here Gibbs." Gibbs just walked up to me and put Jack in my arms
and said. "Put him to bed proper. I got to go find Cotton and give him his
damn bird." With that he turned, walked away and now in my arms lies a
drunk captain. I half carry, half drag Jack to his room. Once inside I put
Jack in his bed and tuck his blankets right up to his chin. I smile at my
handy work. When I open the door to leave a hear a soft, "What no good
night kiss?"
Pivoting on my toes and looking back at the bed there lies Jack smiling like
someone who just got away with murder. To say I was speechless was an extreme understatement. Then Jack went and pointed to his cheek. That's when it dawned on me. He was serious, that bloody pirate really wanted me to go over and kiss him on the cheek as if he were a four-year-old child. If that was what the selfish bastard wanted well then that's what he wouldn't get! I get ready to leave again and then Jack says. " But Will Gibbs told you to put me to bed proper!"
"Sorry Jack its going to take more than a drunken act to get me to love
you." With that I was able to leave the cabin that seemed to get smaller and
smaller the longer I spent time in there. The fresh sea water breeze felt
reassuring blowing against my back, but the night sky reminded me that I had
to go to sleep. Upon going to my cabin door I was reminded that only one
slab of wood kept Jack Sparrows out of my bed. That thought sent a shiver
through my body. A shiver of pleasure or fear... I don't know which.
I have been laying on my bed for but a few moments when I start to feel
hot. The cool reassuring breeze was gone. The room kept getting smaller.
Was the room this small when I first came in? I try and close my eyes but
then each time I do I see him. He is laughing at me. He loved to laugh at
me.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The room was ice cold yet I was sweating profusely. Boden, that's what he
was called. He was a whale of a man. He started out with just fucking me
over and over again. But this particular night Boden decided that he would
try something new. "Well little slut you seem to be enjoying your self."
Boden lifted me by my hair and threw me against the wall.
"YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT! Well, no use in getting upset. I will just
have to do something that I know you will enjoy even more." Boden pulled a
thick leather strap from his belt and put around my neck.
" Now look at you, your not even a black smith anymore just a dog. A slut dog
my little slut dog. Now your going to do every thing I say or your not going
to be able to move your little slut ass for weeks." The memory of what had
happened the last time I had disobeyed still lingered in my mind.
" Come on little doggie bark! I said bark and I really want to hear you bark
like a dog!" I did the only thing I could do. "woof" Boden lifted my by my
hair again. "Now I said bark! Was that a bark? No that wasn't a bark now I
want to hear you bark!"
"Woof, Woof, Woof." Boden started to pat my head. I could see him getting
hard and I could only guess what happened next. "Now I want you to lick me
like a good doggie."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::
"Noooooooooo! Stop please stop leave me alone!" I suddenly felt someone
caressing my cheek and I moved away quickly. "It's ok love its just me." I
turned my head and saw Jack. "Now what is the problem?"
"Jack I.... I cant sleep in here."
Jack looked at me and then nodded his head. "Fine I will get a cot set up
under the stair way. Will that be open enough for you?" I nodded my head
quickly and then I realized I was still crying. My cheeks blushed with
shame. I turned my head again. But Jack caught it in his hand and said,
"Nothing to be ashamed of love." With that he kissed me on the cheek and
left me to sit and think.
Thank you for reviewing and I hope you do it again. I do not update frequently so don't hold your breath...... I don't want any lawsuits.
Warning~ rape, slash, yada yada yada don't flame me about the m/m
Disclaimer~ I don't own it.
Thank you to ~ My beta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MiStReSsduEnVy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And
Response
IMPORTANT NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was very discouraged to find this review in my review box thingy
English rules aside, the most grevious error in your fiction is that of characterization. You have made Commodore Norrington into the villain. He is not. Norrington is an honorable, decent man who stepped aside so that the woman he loved might marry the man she loved - despite the fact no one besides Will and Elizabeth would have held it against him. Norrington would never kidnap and torture the man that, as an officer of the Navy, he is sworn to protect. Nor would he see that man raped. Ever.
Unless you explain Norrington's sudden shift in character (cranial wound, demonic possession, I leave it to you), your fic will always remain in the rubbish heap - no matter how you repair your grammar.
This review has been brought to you by the Norrington Defense League.
Now I am a reasonable person I really am but I have to wonder does anyone eles find this review odd? I mean is it not my right as a writer to change and sift attitudes of the Characters? In the movie Will was not gay yet in my story he is. So I think it mean and also chilish to send this to me. If Norrington is evil and you don't like it just don't read my story there is nooo need to send this to me. I also laughed at this and maybe others will too. So I hope you all have read this and understand that reviews like this are not appreciated nor acceptable. I take Constructive criticism but this review right there was trash.
NOW TO PPL WHO REVIEWS Are DECENT
nati ~ Beef? As in cow? @_@ er odd review but thank you.
Lissa14~ Thanks and for future reference I take forever to update.
Jack Scarlett~ Thank you for reviewing. ( I would not throw the softball at him some odd person might review you and tell you to be nice to him......)
Karasu Mouri~ I have to say you're my favorite reviewer. I enjoy getting helpful criticism it is useful. Now I understand what your saying about the woman doctor but she wasn't really a doctor but more of ~_~ cant think of the name for it at the moment. But most women did not become doctors but many had family remedies and in colonies out side of England and major parts doctors were not always around so Women who are taught family things and common things like setting broken things were most common. I do have one beta but the more the merrier for my biggest problem is that in being dyslexic I do have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. So two is better and if the offer is still up I would gladly take it. Alex ~ Hey thanks for the review but no need to be rude. If my grammar bothers you that much don't bother reading my story. But thank you for your advice.
Anonymous~ Thanks and I will try and work on my story.
AND HERE ARE THE PPL WHO I WILL GIVE LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES TO MMMMWAAAAA
Pervy Elf-Fancier yamiyugis-girl Vidalark Greenleaf's Daughter, normal human being, Karen The Great and Mighty Froggy Morten sammy-mackie Elizabeth Swan Gwendellen Snape Ice Queen Serenity Grey Elven-Eyes -Joce Lissa14 Jessyka Chibi-Tomi Sh'arra Rie LittleDragonQueen Curious Dream Weaver Severa Snape melie Nieni Woodland FireDragon1187 Dragon Mage 13 Montey
Looking up into Jacks eyes and he gave me a look of utter horror mixed with
anger. How could have I forgotten I was not talking to just anyone; I was
talking to Jack who was my friend and at one time was my lover. "Jack I am
sorry. Thank you for helping me and I do accept your offer."?
Jack looked up at me as if I had just asked him to marry me. Then that
usual smirk that seemed to hang around his lips appeared and Jack replied.
'Of course ye come in wi me. I had no intention of leaving ye behind. I
would have dragged you kicking and screaming to my ship whether you wanted
to or not."
Then I started to laugh a sound that was foreign to me. I had not laughed in
so long. This is what I needed. A comical pirate and the wide open sea was all I needed.
Jack insisted that we had to leave early so I just took my bearings and left. We didn't head right for the sea but in fact stopped at numerous tailoring shops. Jack insisted that I needed new clothes and that I needed them right now. In the end I got many loose white tunics and one maroon tunic that Jack insisted upon. He bought me many pairs of pants as well as a black cloak. Jack was ready to go boot shopping but thankfully he said we didn't have enough time for we had to pick
up someone at the treasure trove.
When we reached the port I looked and saw the Pearl, it's flags waving at me
as if to say hello. I stepped on board and received many hearty hellos. Gibbs
was even so bold as to come up to me and whisper. I told ye lass's were
unlucky!" ? I chuckled at seeing that the old man was as drunk as always. Cotton said hello as best he could but was interrupted by Jack who started to tell me about the person who we were going to pick up.
"He is an old friend from Singapore. Apparently an unknown Pirate has started to go after other pirate ships and so we are going to tip off the British and then use them to scare the pirate out into the open. Then three pirate ships are going to blow them to bits and pieces."
While he had been talking Jacks hand started to feel its way down my back
and when it went to cup my bum I moved so it looked as if I wanted to talk to
Cotton. Jack was to smart to fall for it. He took my hand and brought me to
his cabin. It was filled with windows and was very, very spacious. I sat
down in his comfortable chair because I knew it would irritate him. Jack
gave me a quick glare and then grinned evilly. Instead of commanding me to lift myself off his chair he (or something like that..) just turned around and sat down
right on my lap. A blush appeared on my face. All I could think was what
was he doing? Then Jack spoke to me with his most seductive voice. "Now
mister Turner you may think that you no longer love me but I promise you
this: I will make you mine!"
After that Jack swept to give me a kiss. I attempted to turn my head but Jack still
pecked my cheek. He got up, walked away and when he opened the door of his
cabin he winked at me and told me that my cabin was next to his. I can't
help but think he planned this.
Its been an hour since Jack told me that he would make me his. I have
thought over everything we had done and yet I still don't know whether or
not I wish to be his. Of course our love for each other was great at one
time but now what would Jack want from me. I am not worth anything
even to a pirate.
"Will? Will? Where are you Will?" The slurred voice was no other than Mr.
Gibbs. I walked out of the cabin and smiled at the sight Gibbs made. He had
Jack slung over his shoulder and looked like a hunch back. His hat was
color filled and tipped to the side. Wait strike that it appears his hat is
none other than Cottons Parrot passed out maybe even dead lying upon
Gibbs's balding head.
"I am right here Gibbs." Gibbs just walked up to me and put Jack in my arms
and said. "Put him to bed proper. I got to go find Cotton and give him his
damn bird." With that he turned, walked away and now in my arms lies a
drunk captain. I half carry, half drag Jack to his room. Once inside I put
Jack in his bed and tuck his blankets right up to his chin. I smile at my
handy work. When I open the door to leave a hear a soft, "What no good
night kiss?"
Pivoting on my toes and looking back at the bed there lies Jack smiling like
someone who just got away with murder. To say I was speechless was an extreme understatement. Then Jack went and pointed to his cheek. That's when it dawned on me. He was serious, that bloody pirate really wanted me to go over and kiss him on the cheek as if he were a four-year-old child. If that was what the selfish bastard wanted well then that's what he wouldn't get! I get ready to leave again and then Jack says. " But Will Gibbs told you to put me to bed proper!"
"Sorry Jack its going to take more than a drunken act to get me to love
you." With that I was able to leave the cabin that seemed to get smaller and
smaller the longer I spent time in there. The fresh sea water breeze felt
reassuring blowing against my back, but the night sky reminded me that I had
to go to sleep. Upon going to my cabin door I was reminded that only one
slab of wood kept Jack Sparrows out of my bed. That thought sent a shiver
through my body. A shiver of pleasure or fear... I don't know which.
I have been laying on my bed for but a few moments when I start to feel
hot. The cool reassuring breeze was gone. The room kept getting smaller.
Was the room this small when I first came in? I try and close my eyes but
then each time I do I see him. He is laughing at me. He loved to laugh at
me.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The room was ice cold yet I was sweating profusely. Boden, that's what he
was called. He was a whale of a man. He started out with just fucking me
over and over again. But this particular night Boden decided that he would
try something new. "Well little slut you seem to be enjoying your self."
Boden lifted me by my hair and threw me against the wall.
"YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT! Well, no use in getting upset. I will just
have to do something that I know you will enjoy even more." Boden pulled a
thick leather strap from his belt and put around my neck.
" Now look at you, your not even a black smith anymore just a dog. A slut dog
my little slut dog. Now your going to do every thing I say or your not going
to be able to move your little slut ass for weeks." The memory of what had
happened the last time I had disobeyed still lingered in my mind.
" Come on little doggie bark! I said bark and I really want to hear you bark
like a dog!" I did the only thing I could do. "woof" Boden lifted my by my
hair again. "Now I said bark! Was that a bark? No that wasn't a bark now I
want to hear you bark!"
"Woof, Woof, Woof." Boden started to pat my head. I could see him getting
hard and I could only guess what happened next. "Now I want you to lick me
like a good doggie."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::
"Noooooooooo! Stop please stop leave me alone!" I suddenly felt someone
caressing my cheek and I moved away quickly. "It's ok love its just me." I
turned my head and saw Jack. "Now what is the problem?"
"Jack I.... I cant sleep in here."
Jack looked at me and then nodded his head. "Fine I will get a cot set up
under the stair way. Will that be open enough for you?" I nodded my head
quickly and then I realized I was still crying. My cheeks blushed with
shame. I turned my head again. But Jack caught it in his hand and said,
"Nothing to be ashamed of love." With that he kissed me on the cheek and
left me to sit and think.
Thank you for reviewing and I hope you do it again. I do not update frequently so don't hold your breath...... I don't want any lawsuits.
