Sorry this took so long. Exams kept me busy. Now, remember, in this timeline, Sturgis never met Varese...
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Part 3
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2349 Zulu
January 23, 2004
Mac's Apartment
Mac unlocked the door and slipped inside her apartment. Music issued at full blast from Mattie's room. Of everyone who was close to Harm, in the fuss she had forgotten one person in particular. "Mattie?" she called softly. Harm's adopted daughter had been living with her since he'd shipped out, and after some personality conflicts, they'd settled into an easy relationship. A business manager was taking care of Grace Aviation, and at their insistence, Mattie was back in school.
Mac knocked on Mattie's door and then entered the room. "Mattie?" she said again.
Mattie looked up from her English book and smiled. "Hey, Mac," she said. "You're home early."
Mac took a deep breath, walked over and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "Mattie, I just got some bad news."
The teenager straightened and bit her lip. "What happened?" she whispered hoarsely.
Mac reached out and put her arms around the girl. "Sweetie, I don't know how to say this--especially without losing it myself," she grimaced before continuing. "Mattie, Harm's plane…" Mac hugged the child gently. "It went down over Afghanistan. Harm is missing in action, and presumed dead."
Mattie went rigid at the news. "No," she choked out. "He *can't* be, Mac. He *promised* that he'd come back and we could all be a family. He *promised* that he'd never leave me alone." Mattie's face turned red, and Mac could see tears swimming in her eyes.
Mac willed herself not to cry, and hugged Mattie tightly. "He didn't leave you alone, sweetie--he left you with me." She stroked the teenager's hair. "Mattie, he's *not* dead," she said with conviction.
Mattie looked at Mac, her face stony. "H-h-h-how do you know?" she stuttered.
Mac smiled sadly. "Because I'd know if he died. A few years ago, Harm crashed a plane into the Atlantic… and I found him. I still don't know how I did it, but I knew that he wasn't dead then, either. Harm is *alive*, Mattie, and I don't give a damn what the government has to say about it."
"So what do we do now?" Mattie asked, looking miserable.
"We wait, honey. That's all we can do. The Admiral won't let me go TAD to Afghanistan to look for Harm, and I promised him that I'd take care of you." Mac pressed a kiss into Mattie's hair. "He'll be back, kiddo. He promised, and come hell or high water, Harm keeps his promises."
Mattie nodded. "It's hard," she whispered.
"I know it is, Mattie, but we'll be waiting when he comes home." Mac said reassuringly.
Mattie sighed, broke the embrace, and picked up her English book. "Mac, I've got an English test tomorrow. Can I get back to studying?"
Mac nodded, stood up and left the room, closing the door behind her. She recognized the tactic; she'd used it enough herself when she'd been recovering at her Uncle Matt's place years before. She'd even seen Harm use it a time or two. Mattie needed time to think and work out how she'd deal with Harm's disappearance on her own.
Mac wandered over to the couch and collapsed on it. She let go of the iron-clad control that had sustained her during her conversation with Mattie and let herself start to cry again. Now if she could only find her own way to cope with the reality that, to everyone else at JAG, her sailor had crossed the bar.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
2400 Zulu
January 23, 2004
Sturgis's House
Sturgis threw his basketball at the hoop and caught it as it bounced back. Suddenly angry, he threw it at the garage door as hard as he could and glared at the ball as it bounced away and rolled down the driveway.
"Sturgis?"
He turned and faced Beth, his girlfriend of six months, as she walked toward him. "What?" he asked stiffly. He didn't know how to deal with his old friend's death--he had tried working himself into a state of exhaustion, but he had run out of work. Exercise wasn't working, either.
Beth came over and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "I heard about what happened through the grapevine, and I know that you were his friend."
Sturgis shrugged her hand off and went to retrieve his ball. "How do you *think* I am?" he asked. "Harm has been one of my best friends since we were in the Academy; that's about twenty-two *years*. I've seen him walk away from crashes and dire situations without a scratch. Why him? Why couldn't it have been another pilot?" He threw the ball back at the hoop.
"He's supposed to be *Superman*, damn it! He's survived so much, and now he's gone for no damn reason. I used to think that he was just so lucky that he could fall into the head and come up with a handful of silver. I've lost people before, but I've never lost anyone that I've known for as long as I've known Harm."
Beth walked up behind him and put her arms around him. "Even Superman had a weakness, honey. Harm just met up with his Kryptonite." She laid her cheek against his back. "He was a nice guy," she said softly. "Have you told your father, yet?" she asked.
"No," he said hoarsely. "I'm putting it off--I don't know how to do it." He turned around to face her and buried his face in her hair. He hugged her desperately trying to find solace in her embrace. Finally, he let himself relax and remember the friend who he would never again see while his girlfriend began to cry softly for that special person who had touched so many lives.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1643 Zulu
January 21, 2003
Afghan Desert
Afghanistan
The little boy ran alongside the camels, happy to be on the way to the next oasis. Soon it would be his turn to ride again, but he had too much energy to sit on a camel's back right now. He frowned as he spotted something lying nearby. Curious, he went over to investigate. It was a man wearing funny clothes. "Papa," he called, "I've found somebody!"
The boy's father came over and checked the man. "He's alive," he said. He grabbed the man's shoulders and dragged him to the nearest unburdened camel. "Come, Ahmed. We must take him with us." Several other members of the tribe came over and helped tie the man to the camel, and he groaned faintly.
"When will we reach the oasis, Papa?" Ahmed asked.
"Soon. Then we can better tend to the stranger's wounds," his father answered.
"Where did the man come from?" he asked.
"I don't know, son, but he looks like a westerner."
"What will we do with him?" he asked innocently.
"He must have his people looking for him," the man said thoughtfully. "If he wishes, we will help him go home… if he recovers."
The boy nodded and settled into his favorite walking pace. It made a lot of sense. Sometimes people got better after they got hurt, and sometimes they didn't. If the stranger got better, they could send him on his way. It wasn't as if they could've just left him there--leaving a hurt person in the desert without water was the same as killing them, even he knew that.
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0127 Zulu
January 23, 2003
Admiral Chegwiddin's home
MacLean, Virginia
AJ collapsed into his favorite armchair and slumped into its comforting embrace. Between himself and Coates, he'd managed to make all of the funeral arrangements. It hadn't even taken much to get an empty-coffin burial at Arlington. The F-14 squadron was all set, and the funeral was planned for the next week. He sighed and swiped a hand across his eyes. He never thought that he'd see the day that he'd have to bury one of his JAG officers--especially not Harmon Rabb, Jr.
Meredith walked in and sat on his lap. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asked.
AJ reached up to stroke her hair, trying not to let his feelings show. After a few minutes, he cleared his throat and managed to speak. "I just had to make funeral arrangements for one of my officers," he said hoarsely. "He was damn near a son to me--the closest I've ever had to one, anyway."
Meredith kissed him gently. "I heard that you were pretty hard on him when he wanted to come back to JAG," she murmured.
"The SECNAV'd backed me into a corner, so I couldn't let him go… or let him back. And his resignation pissed me off--then I just couldn't let up when I offered to reinstate him," AJ sighed heavily. "I'd give anything to have not said that, or to apologize, now."
Meredith reached for his hand and clasped it tightly. "I'm sorry, AJ," she said, smiling sadly.
"So am I," he said, his voice rough with suppressed emotion. "On top of everything, Mac is in denial--she swears that he's not dead."
"I don't blame her," she said with a wry chuckle. "If you went MIA, even if they *did* think you were dead, I wouldn't give up on you very fast."
AJ looked down at their intertwined hands and started playing with her fingers. "I didn't even get a chance to tell them that I'd figured out how to keep them both at JAG after they got married," he muttered.
Meredith stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "If Harm somehow managed to survive, then you still can," she promised.
AJ sighed. "I wish he had, Meredith, but there's no chance of that." He shook his head. "I guess I'll just have to deal with a Chief of Staff who's in denial about her fiance's death."
Meredith kissed him on the cheek. "She'll survive--she *is* a Marine, AJ."
"Yes, but will she still be Mac?" he asked. "I've seen the two of them go through *anything* for each other. Mac went to Russia with him to search for his father. Harm went to Paraguay to rescue her. And I've seen what happened when Rabb was at death's door. Right now, if he's really gone, the only thing that Mac has left is that little girl that Harm got guardianship of."
"Then she'll survive for Mattie, and the other people who love her." Meredith said softly. "We're all going to miss him, sweetheart."
"Some of us more than others," AJ said with a grimace. "His mother's flying in from California in a few days, and I offered to let her and her husband stay here." He leaned forward, and rested his elbows on his knees. "They might just go on to Harm's place so that they can pack up his stuff--and Mrs. Burnett said something about taking Mattie home with them."
"And if Mattie goes--"
"I'm afraid of what might happen to Mac," he said quietly.
The couple sat in silence for a little while, trying to figure out what they could do for their bereft friend. AJ knew that the staff would help her--after so many years of working together, they'd become something of a family. He just hoped it would be enough. The fact that Mac was still in denial wouldn't really help, either. He slipped his arm around Meredith, hugged her tightly, and stared, unseeing, into the fire. "Son, wherever you are, safe journey," he murmured before again falling silent.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1900 Local
January 23, 2004
Mac's Apartment
Mattie shoved her books off her bed with a clatter and reached for a picture of herself and Harm. She traced his face with her finger, then clutched it to her chest. How *could* you, Harm?" she choked out, tears finally rolling down her cheeks.
"You *promised* me that you'd come home. You *said* that you wouldn't take any chances--and now I'm alone again." She threw the picture down on the bed and glared at it. "I *hate* you. You were the only grown-up that I could depend on, and now you're *gone*. Mac says that you're not dead, but even if that's true, you still *left* me."
Mattie picked up the picture, held it to her chest and began to sob. "It's not fair. Am I such a bad person that everybody leaves me?" She sat down heavily on the bed, then curled up into a ball, and cried herself to sleep.
A few hours later, Mac came in and covered the teenager with a blanket. She sat down on the side of the bed and stroked Mattie's hair. "It'll be okay, honey," she murmured. "Harm left you with me, and it's not likely that a JAG chief of staff will be ordered into a war zone."
Mac kissed Mattie on the cheek, then went back to her lonely bed. She stared out the window at the stars, and wondered exactly where Harm was--and if he was okay.
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TBC...
