AJ flipped through the papers on his desk, searching for a specific file. He *needed* that file, dammit. It contained the last of the information that he needed for the funeral arrangements. He frowned and lifted another folder before he found it. Everything was in place; the pilots for the missing man formation had volunteered from both Pax River and his old squadron, Chaplain Turner had volunteered to conduct the services, and men whose lives the Commander had touched had volunteered to be his pallbearers. Most of the Recon Marines that Harm had trained as "Gunny Post" had contacted him as soon as the obituaries had hit the papers. The rest of the pallbearers had been volunteers from SEAL team six.

AJ looked up with a puzzled frown as he heard a commotion coming from outside his office. An irate woman pushed past Coates and stormed into his office. "Admiral Chedwiggin?" she asked harshly.

"Chegwidden, Ma'am," he answered, as he stood to walk around the desk. AJ held his hand out to her, hoping that he could defuse the situation. "Ma'am, if you would like to have a seat, you can tell me how I can help you."

The woman glared at him and folded her arms across her chest. "I don't think so," she snapped. "I just wanted to meet the man who caused my *son* to die." She dropped her arms and stepped closer. "My name is Patricia Rabb Burnett; and I'm holding you personally responsible for my son's death."

AJ took a step back, not wanting to really confront her. "Ma'am," he began gently. "I'm sorry for your loss--I miss him, too."

Before he could say anything more, Trish closed the distance between them. "You have *no* right," she snarled. The last thing he saw before darkness overtook him was her fist heading towards his face. Say what you would about Harm's mother, he thought before he blacked out entirely, she had a great right hook.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*damned

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2330 Zulu

29 January 2004

The Roberts's Residence

Falls Church, VA

Mac sat in the corner of the couch, refusing to talk to any of the other people around her. Almost everyone had been to express their condolences, but she *knew* that her sailor was still alive... somewhere. She could neither accept nor believe that Harm had died when his F-14 had exploded. It was fast becoming an obsession for her. She wanted him back where she could at least watch his six. She toyed absently with her engagement ring, twisting it round and round her finger.

"Aunt Mac?"

Mac turned and smiled at little AJ sadly. "Hey kiddo," she said.

"Aunt Mac, if Uncle Harm is in Heaven, are you two still getting married?" he asked.

Mac pulled AJ into her lap, and he cuddled in close. "Sweetie, if Uncle Harm is really in Heaven, then we can't," she said gently.

"Then I don't get to be ring bear?" he stuck his lip out into a pout.

"I'm sorry, AJ," Mac said, fighting back tears.

AJ looked up at her. "Don't be sad, Aunt Mac. If Uncle Harm can't marry you, *I'll* marry you." He grinned. "I love you, an' I miss Uncle Harm, too." He kissed her on the cheek. "I can take real good care of you like Daddy and Mommy take care of each other."

Mac hugged AJ tightly. "Thanks, sweetie, but I'm going to wait for Uncle Harm," she said softly.

AJ was quiet for a few minutes. "But Mommy and Daddy said that when God takes somebody to Heaven, they don't come back. Do you think that Uncle Harm's gonna come back, Aunt Mac?"

Mac kissed the top of AJ's head. "I don't know, baby," she admitted. "My heart says that he's still alive, and if he can make it back to us, he will."

AJ laughed. "Then Uncle Harm is gonna come home, an' I'll get to be ring bear, an' roar like I practiceded, an' get cousins to play with other than Mattie."

Mac sighed and kissed him on the cheek. "I hope so, AJ."

AJ slid off Mac lap and turned to her with a smile. "Uncle Harm loves you like Daddy loves Mommy, Aunt Mac. He'll come home; then we can go flying in his plane."

Mac watched as AJ ran off, then turned back to her thoughts. After that one short conversation, the hope that her sailor was alive burned brighter in her heart. Harm would come back; he had to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Little AJ stuck his hands in his pockets and walked around the room. Everybody was just so sad. Briefly, he wondered why they couldn't just believe Aunt Mac that Uncle Harm was still alive. After all, *he* believed her. He'd heard people talking about his hero, sharing memories as if he'd *really* been called to Heaven. He'd even seen a strange lady apologizing to his Uncle AJ, and he guessed that it was for the big bruise on his uncle's face.

AJ frowned, then began searching for the strange lady, because she had looked the saddest of all. Maybe if he told her what Aunt Mac said, she wouldn't be sad no more. He brightened as she saw the lady standing near two men, one of which was Uncle Harm's brother, Sergei, and an older lady. He walked over and tugged on her skirt. "Ma'am," he began politely. "Are you Uncle Harm's Mommy?"

The lady looked at him, then began to tremble. She leaned against the man and buried her face in his chest. The older woman leaned down, and grasped AJ's hand. "You must be AJ," she said. "Yes, that's Harm's Mommy… I'm his grandma, his daddy's mommy."

"Grandma Rabb," AJ said, studying her face anxiously. "Why is Uncle Harm's mommy so sad?"

Sarah leaned down closer to him. "Now how did you know my name?" she asked, her eyes twinkling slightly.

"A'cause if you're Uncle Harm's Grandma, then you must be Grandma Rabb, a'cause he's *my* uncle," AJ explained somewhat confusedly. "Why's Uncle Harm's mommy so sad?" he asked again.

Sarah glanced at Trish, then led the child to a nearby armchair. She sat down before helping the boy clamber into her lap. "Baby, she's sad because God called her baby home to live in heaven with Him," she explained.

"Grandma Rabb, that's what *my* mommy says, but Aunt Mac says that it's not true. She says that he's gonna come home, and that he didn't go to Heaven yet." AJ studied her intently. "Are you sad, too?"

Sarah sighed and nodded. "It's an *inside* kind of sadness," she explained. "He's been *my* baby, too, for a very long time, and I *miss* him."

"If he wasn't dead, would you be mad?" AJ asked in a small voice.

"I'd be happy, honey," Sarah answered. "But things don't happen like that." She was silent for a moment, her eyes filled with memories of years before. "Harm's daddy, my baby boy… well, the same thing happened to him, and he never made it home."

AJ's eyes filled with tears. "But I don't *want* Uncle Harm to be in Heaven," he said with a sniffle.

"Neither do I, baby," Sarah whispered hoarsely.

Tears once again began to well up in her eyes as AJ started sobbing. "I don' want Uncle Harm to be gone," he cried between wrenching sobs. His eyes stung with the force of his tears and his nose started to stuff up. He'd spent a lot of time over the past few days asking after his beloved uncle, only to receive the same response. It wasn't *fair*. In the stories that his mommy and daddy read him, and in the movies, nothing real bad ever happened to the good guy. Uncle Harm was definitely one of the good guys.

AJ's tears worsened as he felt Grandma Rabb start to rock with him. It wasn't right. His hero was gone, and all was in ashes around him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

1530 Zulu

30 January 2004

Old Post Chapel, Fort Myer

Arlington, Virginia

The chapel was silent as people began filing in and taking seats where the flag-draped coffin would be. The rustles of clothing, footfalls, and the soft murmurs of people finding places to sit echoed in the high-ceilinged room. From somewhere in the crowd, a young child began to cry, the thin, high-pitched wail expressed the feelings of many who had gathered together to bid farewell to a man who had touched so many lives. Chaplain Matthew Turner watched from the door as people from all walks of life came in and sat down.

He saw many people that he'd only heard of, and some that he recognized from tough periods in Harm's life. It seemed as if everyone who Harm had come in contact with had come to pay homage to his memory. He watched as Renee Kemper nee Peterson comforted the small infant in her arms, and Annie Pendry led a teenage Josh up the aisle to sit near the front. He could see Bobbi Latham sitting near the back, her head bent, and her hands busy with something that was out of sight. Uniforms from every branch of the service were scattered throughout the small room, and he could see every manner of insignia on coat fronts and lapels.

He glanced at the Admiral, who was standing next to him. "Is that everyone, sir?" he asked quietly. Admiral Chegwidden simply nodded, his eyes bright with emotion. They came to attention and saluted as they watched the men remove the coffin from the hearse. The two of them entered the chapel with the pallbearers marching in behind them. They waited by the door as the pallbearers executed a formal five step turn, set the casket on the trolley, and fell in behind it. His cover under his arm, he led the procession to the front of the chapel, with the empty coffin behind him. He watched as the pallbearers filed into the first two rows and the Admiral came to parade rest next to the door.

Chaplain Turner took a deep breath before stepping up to the pulpit. "My friends," he began. "Today we are gathered together to give honor and to say goodbye to a man who used his life, not only to serve his country, but to make a difference. After this short service, the family has requested that only close friends and relatives be at the graveside service in Arlington." He paused for a moment and scanned the crowd. "First, let us pray. Almighty Father…" he began, his mind wandering off to his son's old friend as he said the prayer.

"The eulogy will be delivered by Admiral Thomas Boone, after I make a few remarks. I first met Harmon when my son brought him home from the academy." He smiled sadly, remembering the young man Harm had been. "In all the years I have known him, he always strove to do the right thing, the honorable thing. Harmon David Rabb Jr. was a hero in the truest sense of the word, and he will be missed. He exhibited one of the kindest hearts I have ever seen, and possessed an ability to truly love others. I think I can be safe in saying that, despite his flaws, he is now safe in the Father's arms." He nodded to Admiral Boone and stepped back from the podium.

Part of him was listening to the eulogy as the Admiral spoke, but a bigger part was caught up in thinking about the young man who had passed on. The world had been a much better place with him in it, and it was worse off now that he had left. He had no doubts about where his son's friend had gone--the old hymn "Safe in the arms of Jesus" came to mind when he thought about it.

He always hated this part of his job; funerals were the worst. Weddings were better, because they were a beginning. Chaplain Turner sighed and looked at his book one more time to make sure that he had the funeral service straight in his head. Harm deserved the best, and he'd be damned if he messed this one up because of carelessness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

1700 Zulu

30 January 2004

Arlington National Cemetery

Arlington, Virginia

Little AJ watched solemnly as the uniformed men hoisted the casket up off of the horse-drawn caisson and conveyed it to the gravesite. He watched through his tears as they positioned the coffin over the grave. Ignoring Uncle Sturgis's daddy, AJ rubbed his arm over his face as other men fired their guns, and planes flew overhead. AJ looked up as one of the planes took off straight up from the others, and tears began to fall faster as a single bugler played Taps.

As the planes flew away, he looked back at the casket, then saw the men pick up the flag, hold it taut over the coffin, then start to fold it. With a hard wrench, he wiggled away from the person holding him and saluted as they finished folding the flag. One of the men handed Uncle AJ the flag, and he walked over and bent to talk to Uncle Harm's mommy.

"On behalf of the President of the United States," he began before Uncle Harm's mommy shook her head and motioned for Uncle AJ to give the folded flag to Aunt Mac. Without showing surprise, his uncle simply stepped over and repeated his words, this time finishing the speech. Aunt Mac took the flag gently, then saluted Uncle AJ, and he saluted back.

Slowly, people began to disperse, and little AJ watched as a weathered-looking man with gunnery sergeant's stripes marched up to the and laid his hand on it. "You should have let me turn you into a sniper, boy," the man whispered gruffly. "You might still be here if you did."

He wasn't sure what a sniper was, but if it meant that Uncle Harm wouldn't be in Heaven, he wished that the man had taught his hero to be that, too. AJ walked over to Mac and hugged her as well as he could. "I'm sorry, Aunt Mac," he said through his tears.

Mac squatted down and brushed his hair back from his face. "It's okay, baby," she murmured, pulling a handkerchief out and wiping his eyes. She held it up to his now runny nose. "Blow," she ordered softly.

AJ obeyed, then looked over at Mattie. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she had tear streaks on her face. "Are you okay, Mattie?" he asked.

She gulped visibly, then nodded. "I will be, AJ," she replied in a strained voice.

"Will you hold Uncle Harm's flag?" Mac asked softly. AJ nodded, so she handed it over, then pulled Mattie in an embrace. The girl clung tightly to Mac, then separated from her. Mac reached for Mattie's and AJ's hands and walked slowly out to the waiting cars.

AJ sighed as his mommy handed Jimmy over to his daddy and came over. "Ma'am, thanks for watching him; I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

"Not a problem, Harriet," Mac murmured as little AJ handed her the flag back and she released his hand.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Harriet said. "We all wish that the Commander…"

"We buried an empty casket today, Harriet," Mac said, increasing her pace towards her car. "I *still* don't believe that he died; Harm is *alive*, and I don't know why this went so far." She handed the flag to Mattie, who clutched it to her chest, then climbed in Mac's corvette. "I'll see you in the office tomorrow," she said before she headed around the car, climbed in, and drove away.

"Mommy?" AJ said slowly, "do you think Aunt Mac is right?"

"I don't know, sweetie, but if there's one thing I've learned about those two, it's never to underestimate them," Harriet answered before she picked him up and made her way back to the car. AJ dropped his head on his mommy's shoulder and sighed. He hoped that Aunt Mac was right, and he was going to ask God to make sure that she was and to bring Uncle Harm home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~