Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue!
*Just then Aqua walks back in from Persia with a Persian rug rolled up under his arm.*
Aqua: OK...so that was weird, still got a right bargain though *he rolls the rug out only to find Lude rolled up in the middle of it*
Aqua: Huh? How did that happen?
TTL: It's best not to question these things.
*The Diva is now inspecting the rug and commenting on how much of a bargain it was*
TRC: Hey where did the other me go??
*The gang look round and shrug*
TRC: Ha! I knew it! Chicken! She knew she couldn't beat me, so she did a runner! *stands proud, hands on hips*
Aqua: But how do we know you're the real TRC?
TRC: Oh shut up!
Aqua: Good enough for me...
*Lude is now doing chicken impressions around the room.*
DOX: Hey! The other DK has gone too!
Lara: Hmmm... There's something fishy going on here.
*Everyone looks towards Kitty, who has a fish tail sticking out of her mouth*
Kitty: Hey don't look at me... a Kitty's gotta eat!
Lara: And I am not talking about Kitty's dinner!
*Everyone looks at Lude*
Lude: Hey don't look at me, I had a bath this morning!
Lara: Anyway, it seems there is not much more we can do tonight, so I say we settle down and start in the morning. I'll give everyone a wake up call at.. let's say.... 7am.
*Everyone groans except Lude, who is now paranoid that she smells of fish and is smelling herself*
Lara: OK, OK, 7.30 then. Everyone be ready to go raiding! Have your backpacks ready and we will set off for Milly Monka's Mole Factory!
Donny: *proudly* I've packed mine already!
LM: *tentatively* Just a question, Lara... If we don't have to be there until 5, couldn't we just all have a lay in, then some breakfast and set out leisurely?
Lara: *matter of fact* We are Crofteers, we don't DO leisurely!
LM: *not wanting to let this one go* Yeah... but breakfast, Lude you'd be up for breakfast right?
Lude: Huh??? Oh, no thanks - I'm not hungry.
*huge gasp by all the Crofteers as they all freeze and look at Lude*
TTL: Ha ha *nervous laugh* Yeah good one Lude, not hungry ha ha...
Lude: No, really! I'm not hungry!
*even bigger gasp*
TTL: Naaaa! Stop it now, it's not funny!
Lude: I wasn't trying to be funny. I think I will retire to bed, I feel really sleepy actually...
TRC: But...but...but it's not even midnight!
TTL: She's just having us on. *elbowing Lude* Go on Lude, burp, or drool, or do something stupid, you know, like you always do...
Lude: Have you all gone mad? Why would I do that?
TTL: *now vigorously shaking Lude* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER!!!!
*Just then Lude comes bursting through the door in a bath robe, she spots the other Lude and exclaims..* Cool!!! Another one of me!!! Now I can sleep with myself... I've always wondered what that would be like!!
*TTL runs, arms stretched out, over to Lude and gives her a big hug* Only my sister could say something so disgusting!
Lara: *pulling pistols and aiming at the other Lude's head* Right you, sit down and SHUT UP! *Impostor Lude obliges* Now tell us who you are and what you're doing here!
Aqua: Erm, how is she doing to do that when you told her to shut up?
Lara: Be quiet!
Impostor Lude: It is true I am not the one you called Lude. *turning before their very eyes into TRC*
TRC: *flying across the room fist of fury at the ready* Let me at her!
*But before TRC gets there, the Impostor TRC turns into DK*
Lara: Right, that's enough! Who or WHAT are you?
Impostor DK: I am a Nephilimillion
DOX: A what?
Impostor DK: A Nephilimillion
DOX: Yeah! That's what I thought you said. So what's one of them, then?
Lara: Someone who can change his or her form, right?
N: Correct *changing into Lara*
Lara: *pondering for a moment* You work for the Hairloomiarty?
N: Correct again, the people of the hair...
Lara: So you stole the Mole!
N: NO! We did not! We don't know who stole the Mole, but we believe it should not be returned to Richard Thomas!
Lara: Why?
N: Because he is an idiot!
Lara: Fair point, so you come here to try and sabotage our mission ....and stop looking like me!
N: *changing back into Dk* Correct again Miss Croft, but quite frankly now that I have seen you and your... pathetic band of followers, I fail to see why we were concerned at all!
Lara: *raising pistols again* Hey you! Just because we haven't managed to successfully finish a quest in....
*leaning towards TTL*
TTL: *whispering* 6 months.
Lara: ...6 months, doesn't mean we aren't going to finish this one!
Lude: *loudly and forcibly* Yeah! *then quietly* Erm, could you turn back into me again? That was cool!
N: No.
Lude: Ooooooooooooooooooooo! *does hand bag gesture*
Lara: Alright, then. A little bet is in order, I think.
N: Oh PLEASE, you are no match for the Hairloomiarty! Our cult is as old as the Mole itself! For centuries we have been-
TRC: *cutting him off* Blah blah blah. So you won't be opposed to a little competition then, will you?
N: I suppose it COULD be amusing...
Lara: Right! OK then, here's the deal: if you find the Mole first, then you get to keep it. If we find the Mole first, then we get to keep it and you don't bother us again. Get it?
N: Sure...OK...
Lara: Annnnnnnnd YOU don't interfere with our quest anymore!
N: *pausing for a moment* Alright. *smugly* It's a deal.
Lara: Good. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
*The Nephilimillion gets up and leaves*
Lude: I guess this means I won't find out what it's like to sleep with myself, then.
TTL: *consoling her* No dear, you won't...
Lara: OK gang, we're not gonna let them beat us are we?
All: No!
Lara: Good! That Mole is as good as mine!!!
TTL: Erm....erm....
Lara: I mean OURS.
DOX: But what about Richard? Aren't we supposed to return the Mole to him?
Lara: Bollocks to that! Besides, I don't think I could bear another Waltons reunion film!!!
Lude: Hey, maybe we could just give him an eyebrow pencil instead!
TTL: Yeah, let him draw one on!
*Just then there is a knock at the door. All the Crofteers run to the door. They open the door to find DK standing there! Lara pulls her pistols again, Donny pulls his samurai sword, LM flaps her wings and pulls out her Uzis, DOX pulls out a shotgun, TRC pulls out her fists of fury (complete with boxing gloves!), TTL whips out a Doctor Who book and raises her eyebrow, Kitty sharpens her claws, Diva lifts up a shopping bag, Lude produces a banana from nowhere, and Aqua flips out his college acceptance letter!!! DK stands there, dumbfounded by the array of weapons in front of him.*
Lara: I thought I told you to get off my land!
DK: I just got here!
Lara: DK? Is that really you?
*DK holds out a freshly baked bag of donuts*
Everyone: IT'S DK!!!!! *group hug ensues*
DK: *Gasping for breath* So I guess I missed the other me then..?
TRC: Yeah. He just left.
DK: Damn! Well I think I worked it out, he is a-
*in unison* Nephilimillion!!!
DK: Oh.
LM: Yes, we know.
DK: So what's the plan?
Lara: The plan is we get some sleep, then all head out to the Milly Monka Mole Factory in the morning.
All: YAY!
*The Crofteers all say their goodnights and head off to their prospective rooms, except Lude, who managed to steal the bag of donuts during the group hug and has disappeared to some dark corner to eat them.*
*As the lights dim at Croft Manor, the gang prepare themselves for the quest ahead....*
TRC: Good night Dagger, good night DK.
Aqua: Good night TRC, good night LM.
Lude: Good night John Boy! HAHAHAAHAAA!!!!
TTL: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Lara: SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!.. Donny! Get back in your OWN room!
*door slams*
*Just then Aqua walks back in from Persia with a Persian rug rolled up under his arm.*
Aqua: OK...so that was weird, still got a right bargain though *he rolls the rug out only to find Lude rolled up in the middle of it*
Aqua: Huh? How did that happen?
TTL: It's best not to question these things.
*The Diva is now inspecting the rug and commenting on how much of a bargain it was*
TRC: Hey where did the other me go??
*The gang look round and shrug*
TRC: Ha! I knew it! Chicken! She knew she couldn't beat me, so she did a runner! *stands proud, hands on hips*
Aqua: But how do we know you're the real TRC?
TRC: Oh shut up!
Aqua: Good enough for me...
*Lude is now doing chicken impressions around the room.*
DOX: Hey! The other DK has gone too!
Lara: Hmmm... There's something fishy going on here.
*Everyone looks towards Kitty, who has a fish tail sticking out of her mouth*
Kitty: Hey don't look at me... a Kitty's gotta eat!
Lara: And I am not talking about Kitty's dinner!
*Everyone looks at Lude*
Lude: Hey don't look at me, I had a bath this morning!
Lara: Anyway, it seems there is not much more we can do tonight, so I say we settle down and start in the morning. I'll give everyone a wake up call at.. let's say.... 7am.
*Everyone groans except Lude, who is now paranoid that she smells of fish and is smelling herself*
Lara: OK, OK, 7.30 then. Everyone be ready to go raiding! Have your backpacks ready and we will set off for Milly Monka's Mole Factory!
Donny: *proudly* I've packed mine already!
LM: *tentatively* Just a question, Lara... If we don't have to be there until 5, couldn't we just all have a lay in, then some breakfast and set out leisurely?
Lara: *matter of fact* We are Crofteers, we don't DO leisurely!
LM: *not wanting to let this one go* Yeah... but breakfast, Lude you'd be up for breakfast right?
Lude: Huh??? Oh, no thanks - I'm not hungry.
*huge gasp by all the Crofteers as they all freeze and look at Lude*
TTL: Ha ha *nervous laugh* Yeah good one Lude, not hungry ha ha...
Lude: No, really! I'm not hungry!
*even bigger gasp*
TTL: Naaaa! Stop it now, it's not funny!
Lude: I wasn't trying to be funny. I think I will retire to bed, I feel really sleepy actually...
TRC: But...but...but it's not even midnight!
TTL: She's just having us on. *elbowing Lude* Go on Lude, burp, or drool, or do something stupid, you know, like you always do...
Lude: Have you all gone mad? Why would I do that?
TTL: *now vigorously shaking Lude* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER!!!!
*Just then Lude comes bursting through the door in a bath robe, she spots the other Lude and exclaims..* Cool!!! Another one of me!!! Now I can sleep with myself... I've always wondered what that would be like!!
*TTL runs, arms stretched out, over to Lude and gives her a big hug* Only my sister could say something so disgusting!
Lara: *pulling pistols and aiming at the other Lude's head* Right you, sit down and SHUT UP! *Impostor Lude obliges* Now tell us who you are and what you're doing here!
Aqua: Erm, how is she doing to do that when you told her to shut up?
Lara: Be quiet!
Impostor Lude: It is true I am not the one you called Lude. *turning before their very eyes into TRC*
TRC: *flying across the room fist of fury at the ready* Let me at her!
*But before TRC gets there, the Impostor TRC turns into DK*
Lara: Right, that's enough! Who or WHAT are you?
Impostor DK: I am a Nephilimillion
DOX: A what?
Impostor DK: A Nephilimillion
DOX: Yeah! That's what I thought you said. So what's one of them, then?
Lara: Someone who can change his or her form, right?
N: Correct *changing into Lara*
Lara: *pondering for a moment* You work for the Hairloomiarty?
N: Correct again, the people of the hair...
Lara: So you stole the Mole!
N: NO! We did not! We don't know who stole the Mole, but we believe it should not be returned to Richard Thomas!
Lara: Why?
N: Because he is an idiot!
Lara: Fair point, so you come here to try and sabotage our mission ....and stop looking like me!
N: *changing back into Dk* Correct again Miss Croft, but quite frankly now that I have seen you and your... pathetic band of followers, I fail to see why we were concerned at all!
Lara: *raising pistols again* Hey you! Just because we haven't managed to successfully finish a quest in....
*leaning towards TTL*
TTL: *whispering* 6 months.
Lara: ...6 months, doesn't mean we aren't going to finish this one!
Lude: *loudly and forcibly* Yeah! *then quietly* Erm, could you turn back into me again? That was cool!
N: No.
Lude: Ooooooooooooooooooooo! *does hand bag gesture*
Lara: Alright, then. A little bet is in order, I think.
N: Oh PLEASE, you are no match for the Hairloomiarty! Our cult is as old as the Mole itself! For centuries we have been-
TRC: *cutting him off* Blah blah blah. So you won't be opposed to a little competition then, will you?
N: I suppose it COULD be amusing...
Lara: Right! OK then, here's the deal: if you find the Mole first, then you get to keep it. If we find the Mole first, then we get to keep it and you don't bother us again. Get it?
N: Sure...OK...
Lara: Annnnnnnnd YOU don't interfere with our quest anymore!
N: *pausing for a moment* Alright. *smugly* It's a deal.
Lara: Good. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
*The Nephilimillion gets up and leaves*
Lude: I guess this means I won't find out what it's like to sleep with myself, then.
TTL: *consoling her* No dear, you won't...
Lara: OK gang, we're not gonna let them beat us are we?
All: No!
Lara: Good! That Mole is as good as mine!!!
TTL: Erm....erm....
Lara: I mean OURS.
DOX: But what about Richard? Aren't we supposed to return the Mole to him?
Lara: Bollocks to that! Besides, I don't think I could bear another Waltons reunion film!!!
Lude: Hey, maybe we could just give him an eyebrow pencil instead!
TTL: Yeah, let him draw one on!
*Just then there is a knock at the door. All the Crofteers run to the door. They open the door to find DK standing there! Lara pulls her pistols again, Donny pulls his samurai sword, LM flaps her wings and pulls out her Uzis, DOX pulls out a shotgun, TRC pulls out her fists of fury (complete with boxing gloves!), TTL whips out a Doctor Who book and raises her eyebrow, Kitty sharpens her claws, Diva lifts up a shopping bag, Lude produces a banana from nowhere, and Aqua flips out his college acceptance letter!!! DK stands there, dumbfounded by the array of weapons in front of him.*
Lara: I thought I told you to get off my land!
DK: I just got here!
Lara: DK? Is that really you?
*DK holds out a freshly baked bag of donuts*
Everyone: IT'S DK!!!!! *group hug ensues*
DK: *Gasping for breath* So I guess I missed the other me then..?
TRC: Yeah. He just left.
DK: Damn! Well I think I worked it out, he is a-
*in unison* Nephilimillion!!!
DK: Oh.
LM: Yes, we know.
DK: So what's the plan?
Lara: The plan is we get some sleep, then all head out to the Milly Monka Mole Factory in the morning.
All: YAY!
*The Crofteers all say their goodnights and head off to their prospective rooms, except Lude, who managed to steal the bag of donuts during the group hug and has disappeared to some dark corner to eat them.*
*As the lights dim at Croft Manor, the gang prepare themselves for the quest ahead....*
TRC: Good night Dagger, good night DK.
Aqua: Good night TRC, good night LM.
Lude: Good night John Boy! HAHAHAAHAAA!!!!
TTL: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Lara: SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!.. Donny! Get back in your OWN room!
*door slams*
